"When you work out, you get stronger" athletes often say. It is something common and the use of the distancing language of the 2nd person pronoun, "you" is appropriate.
When the issue is unique and personal, the distancing language is not appropriate, but may be a signal that the subject is avoiding commitment due to deception.
Ayla Reynolds' grandmother, Phoebe DiPietro, was deceptive to the news when she said that nothing out of the norm happened on the night of Ayla's demise, and that she did not "hear" anything. It was only when analysis showed deception, that she had to admit that she was not even in the home. This showed that there was a need for her to be deceptive.
She said, "when someone is watching your home" and "waiting for the police to call about your grandchild", she deliberately ran away from commitment and avoiding lying. Her home was not cased, and she is not waiting for police to call about her granddaughter. This is how deceptive people avoid the internal stress of lying, while still being deceptive. She did not say that someone was watching or broke into "my" home, but "yours"; as she did not say that she was waiting for police; you were waiting for police to call. She did not say she was waiting for police to call about her granddaughter, but "your" granddaughter.
This is the inappropriate use of distancing language that is consistent with the deception in the case.
In the two year anniversary of Hailey Dunn's Disappearance, "Person of Interest" and mother, Billie Dunn spoke out.
There is nothing more upfront and personal than a missing child. There is nothing common about it.
Statement Analysis is in bold type.
COLORADO CITY--A vigil was held Saturday at Ruddick Park in Colorado City to mark the two year anniversary of Hailey Dunn's disappearance.
Before Hailey went missing children walked the street alone.
"Little girls aren't supposed to go missing from Colorado City," said Stacie Campbell with Hope For Hailey.
Now, parents are on alert and few children are seen alone. It was a lesson learned too late for Hailey's parents.
"November's bad, December's bad. I guess when you have a missing child every-day is bad," said Hailey's mother Billie Dunn.
Note that she can only "guess" (lack of commitment) to months being bad.
Note that it is not she that has a missing child, but "you" have a missing child.
It is only "bad" for the one who has a missing child, but even this, she cannot verbally commit to: she can only "guess" what it is like for someone to have a missing child.
This is an indication of deception. She does not have a "missing" child, therefore, she can only "guess" what it is like for "you" to have one.
This deceptive distancing language is consistent with her failed polygraphs and her conflicting and deceptive pubic statements about what happened to her Hailey, whom, the mother referenced in the past tense on the Nancy Grace Show, days after she was reported "missing" revealing that Hailey was dead. She also showed her own priority: a need for an alibi.
Q: What happened?
Dunn: "She went missing while I was at work."
She knows how to use the pronoun, "I" when she needs to. The pronoun "I" is strong and personal. This showed priority. She was not asked when Hailey went missing, making the question, itself, sensitive.
Dunn has had a difficult two year as vigil after vigil comes and goes.
"I am just tired of planning vigils. I want her home. Every vigil we think the next one won't be a vigil it will be a welcome home party and her it is today we've had another vigil. It's heartbreaking," said Dunn.
Note that she tells us her priority:
1. Tired of planning the vigils
2. Note what "we" think, rather than what "I", the mother of the child, thinks, is consistent with distancing language.
3. "the next one" presupposes the planning. This was seen very early on, when the mother spoke about planning the 6 month vigil instead of the natural defensive posture of hope that mothers have, particularly early one.
What is heartbreaking? the tiredness of planning is what is mentioned first. We speak according to priority.
Some days are better than others. With the outpouring of support from family, friends and volunteers at Saturday's vigil Dunn finds the strength to better cope with no having her daughter home for the Christmas.
Often coping and feeling better for a moment doesn't take away the pain.
"It still hurts me knowing that my best friend is not here going on another Christmas without her," said Heather Ruth, Hailey's childhood friend.
Ruth has been friends with Hailey since third grade. "I can tell you this, I had a dream about her not too long ago a couple of weeks ago and I had a dream that they found her and I just like fainted I was like I guess I was so excited I just fainted."
That dream hasn't come true and there are no sighs of relief.
"It's really important for me to make sure the media doesn't forget Hailey and keep her face out there," said Dunn.
Note that it is not important for Hailey, but for the mother. We have seen a consistent love of media exposure, controversy and even a Facebook fan club following her.
When angered, the mother immediately goes to what she knows:
"out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks..." as she uses language that is explicitly sexual and violent.
We await justice for Hailey and that she and Shawn Adkins will answer to the court.
Nancy Grace said that sadly, Hailey never made it out of that home that night...alive.
As the days go by Dunn said she holds on to the hope that Hailey will soon come home.
On December 27, Hope for Hailey will hold "Walk of Faith." Participants will meet at the Dunn home and they will take a walk retracing Hailey's last steps before search dogs lost her scent. Participants are asked to wear flip-flips as they were the type of shoes when she went missing.