Saturday, January 5, 2013

Sarah's Denial Of Laughter

One of the most important principles in analysis is that direct lying causes internal stress, therefore, the one deceiving will attempt, in any way, to shade or sparse words, even on a technicality, to avoid a direct lie. 

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."  President Clinton's personal, internal, subjective dictionary was that "sexual relations" meant physical intercourse.  In this technical manner, it was truthful, even though, afraid, he was being deceptive. 

In the story of Sarah and Abraham, we have:  

"I laughed not" is also translated, "I did not laugh."

This is a very strong denial, but it is also rebuked as being untrue.  

How is it, according to the text, that Sarah could make this claim?

Leave your answer in the comments section:


9 And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent.
10 And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.
11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.
12 Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?
13 And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?
14 Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.
15 Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.

65 comments:

john said...

OT.

Ohio Rape: Website Seeks To Calm Media Furore.


Tensions are running high in a small town where two 16-year-old boys are accused of raping a teenage girl in August.

Police investigating rape accusations against two high school football players in Ohio have launched a website aimed at sorting fact from fiction as media interest in the case spreads.

Steubenville, Ohio, city and police officials announced the site's creation on Saturday.

Two 16-year-old boys will stand trial on February 13 in juvenile court on charges that they raped a 16-year-old girl in August.

Their attorneys have denied the charges in court.

With black type on a white background, the Steubenville Facts website provides a stark contrast to the escalating tensions over the case and how it has been handled.

"This site is not designed to be a forum for how the Juvenile Court ought to rule in this matter," the site declares.

The website provides a TIMELINE of the case, summaries of Ohio laws on sex charges, online posts and reactions to them, facts about the local police force and a pledge of transparency.

State prosecutors are handling the case because local authorities knew people involved with the small Appalachian town's highly popular football team.

An unverified, online video that purportedly shows another teen joking about the accuser has fuelled new media coverage of the case this week.

The video was released by Internet hackers affiliated with the Anonymous and KnightSec labels, who say they are upset that more people have not been held accountable in the case.

The state attorney general's office says the 12-minute video is not new evidence for investigators handling the case.

http://news.sky.com/story/1033901/ohio-rape-website-seeks-to-calm-media-furore

Jules said...

It says she "laughed within herself" is this like a giggle or a stifled laugh? Perhaps she doesn't consider this to be truly laughing hence the denial

I don't understand this line "After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?"

could someone explain?

Justme said...

Because she laughed "within herself" but not out loud she didn't technically consider it laughter.

Justme said...

Or because her internal laughter was scoffing and not amusement, she didn't consider it true laughter.

Skeptical said...

If someone read my innermost thoughts and told me what they were and promised I would bear a child well after my child bearing years, it would scare me enough to tell a self-preserving lie.

Randie said...

She did laugh with in herself. She could have even laughed in an undertone. Either way...she was stating what she felt: "I'm too old to have a baby, so is Arbrham, no way can this happen!"

When caught she was embarrassed for her initial reaction...then lied.

(Verse 15: "But Sarah began to deny it, saying: “I did not laugh!” For she was afraid. At this he said: “No! but you did laugh.”)

Genesis 18: 9-15

Good Job on this cath Peter!!!!

Eliza said...

It's because she laughed within herself, she didn't let out a sound. So she may not consider it a proper laugh.
Also, if the translation is "I laughed not" it's a hidden confession if we leave "not" out. She admitted the truth (that she laughed) and then added a "not".

john said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
john said...


Over here in the UK the word NOT is used so many times in the negative for emphasis,

"Do you like coffee?"

"I love coffee,NOT" and so on.

Therefore is she saying she "laughed" and then negating it by saying NOT?

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes, Sarah was eaten up with 21st century ironic slang. ;)
I agree, it was scoffing---she wasn't amused, didn't consider it laughter. It was also not out loud...so there's that.
I see it more as a unconscious ridicule, not of God but the idea. She forgot who she was dealing with. A scoffing laugh is much more to be ashamed of/frightened for consequences---much more worthy of a denial.

Deejay said...

After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?
King James

Other translatios say "After I have become old...

The use of wax is similar to 'wax and wane'; fade. Pleasure aludes to excitment about prenancy or enjoying a child.

Trigger said...

Her internal dictionary of "laugh" meant laugh out loud, and excluded her unspoken response in her mind which was silent and could not be heard by human ears.

dadgum said...

God hears everything..spoken or not.
(He also knows what we type and erase, and what that post said before it was removed)

Sus said...

Oh my gosh, I love that you picked this out to show lying.

Sarah did laugh "unto herself." Because she forgot she is connected to God, she didn't see it as lying. To her it was only for her ears. But we can lie to ourselves and God, which Sarah did.

Vita said...

And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent.

Abraham chosen, asked by God, where is thy wife Sarah. Abraham, behold, my wife, he to bear witness, Behold, she is in the tent.

10 And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.

God informing Abraham I will certainly return unto thee, according to the time of life. Sarah thy wife shall have a son.
God informing Abraham, not Sarah, he would return unto them as a couple, the ability of her to be of child bearing. Sarah over hearing, she inside the tent.

11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.

They old, Sarah, old, post menopause, it ceased, after the manner of women.

12 Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?

Sarah laughed within herself, saying to her self. After I am waxed old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old? she to herself, has surpassed this chapter in her lifetime. She laughing within her grace as a woman. Am I to have pleasure, contentment, as I am old.

13 And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?

She to herself, it would have to be an act of God, her to bear a child, her age. Her reaction not as spite, to bite one's thumb no.
She chosen by God, she is over hearing the conversation, she inside the tent. She to herself finds this absurd, she her at age. Her chosen by God, I believe his affection attention felt, was her laughter, as if it was inconceivable. Not that he could not provide her the ability to have a son.

14 Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.

At the time appointed, I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son. Sarah shall have, is it a grandchild? or she would have a son herself?

15 Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.

She did not laugh at God, she was not afraid. She though laughed within herself, as this overheard conversation of her, she to be amused not of the said, but of her self, her age. As an old woman would find it, I am to have a son, at my age? I laughed not, her truth, she did not laugh.

Hobnob said...

In real life she would be saying a baby at my age? damn i thought i was past the sleepless nights, the diaper changing, the colic, the teething and so on. Only a man would think being pregnant at my age is good, let him carry and rear a child and see how he likes it

A woman of her age would not be a happy bunny being pregnant.
The man however would be yay i still have it, i am a stud i can still get the wife pregnant, i am THE MAN before wandering off to chat with his mates aand leaving all the child rearing to the poor wifey.

Lemon said...

"within herself" - to Sarah a laugh within was not a laugh with'out'.

Anonymous said...

If my thoughts & dreams,
could be seen,
they'd put my head,
into a guillotine. Bob Dylan

Anonymous said...

Sarah being old and well past child bearing years knew that she was physically unable to conceive and bear a child. When she overheard these sayings, she did not believe it and in her disbelief she snickered an argumentive laugh in dispute; about the same as calling him an idiot.

When confronted about her snickering laugh, Sarah knew she had laughed in ridicule at being told she would bear a son, and that the Lord had heard her do it. She lied about it, denying that she had laughed at the words from the Lord.

She just didn't expect to be confronted with her disbelief and mocking laughter, was caught off guard when confronted, became afraid and lied about it; but she knew she was lying to the Lord in her disbelief just as he knew she was lying.

Guess Sarah learned her lesson. Can't deny and lie to the Lord even if you try too.

Anonymous said...

Vita, nice post except for one thing: Your comment; "..... Sarah shall have, is it a grandchild...?" Sarah had no children so it is inconceivable that she would have thought this. There can be no grandchild if one has never had a child.

Hobnob, you need to read the story if you want to get it right and not just make silly joke out of the situation. It was no joke. It really happened.

Trigger said...

Why was Sarah afraid to admit that she laughed?

Was it because she was afraid of being punished? Or was she feeling remorse for her initial response?

Anonymous said...

Trigger, Abraham and Sarah lived their lives in service to God, had a close walk with Him, walked and talked with Him, knew His almighty power and held a Godly fear of Him.

It was not so much remorse Sarah was feeling for her snickering laugh against God; that too, but it was also her fear of questioning God and his punishment for her disbelief when she mocked in laughter at the news she & Abraham had been brought that seemed an impossibility to her. She would bear a son at this late stage of their lives?! NO WAY.

The problem is threefold. Sarah did not believe God and smirked at Him; she did not trust God in the news He had sent to her & Abraham; Sarah tried to hide her lack of faith and disbelief by lying to God.

Lemon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vita said...

Anon thank you for your kind words, you do not have to be a mother in literal sense to be gained a grand child.

Grand children are of a second generation, that are not essentially relative. As it is the words said here, quoted, are all upon one's interpretation.

Anonymous said...

Because she did not laugh aloud

brosnanfan said...

I purposefully have not yet read the other comments, because I didn't want anyone else's thoughts to influence mine. I will read them once I post what I came up with.

I've looked this passage up in a few translations and they all said some version of the same statement:

"So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought..." (NIV 1984)
"And Sarah laughed within herself..." (ASV)
"So she laughed silently to herself..." (NLT)
"Sarah laughed within herself..." (MSG)
"So Sarah laughed to herself..." (RSV)
"Therefore Sarah laughed within herself..." (KJV)

Basically, she laughed and/or scoffed inside her head, in her thoughts, but did not voice that laughter or those thoughts out loud. When she was busted, she freaked out a little bit and blurted out the first thing that came to mind that she thought would get her out of trouble: "I didn't laugh!"

Well, yeah, *technically* she didn't "laugh", if in her internal dictionary the word "laugh" meant "laugh out loud, where others can hear it". So, she told her truth, which was that she didn't laugh.

But...to the Lord God, who sees all and knows all and knows the very secrets of our hearts and minds, knew that she did laugh; but He, not being a mortal man, was the only one to hear it. If she were talking to Abraham, and he asked, "Why did you laugh?" and she replied with, "I didn't laugh," then she probably could have gotten away with it, since Abraham was a mere mortal man who did not have the power to discern such thoughts.

brosnanfan said...

To john:

Peter posted from the KJV. It was translated and transcribed in 1611, so the language sounds stilted and archaic to our 21st Century ears.

She wasn't imitating Chandler Bing (from "Friends"), by saying, "I laughed...NOT!" It was just a fifteenth-century way of saying, "I did not laugh."

To Jules:

To help explain the line, "After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?", let's look at it from a couple of other translations:

'So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my master [husband] is old, will I now have this pleasure?”' (NIV 1984)

'So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master—my husband—is also so old?”' (NLT)

Basically, she is scoffing within herself, and asking metaphorically how in the world such an old woman (remember, she was ninety) could have the joy of finally becoming a mother at her advanced age, when she had ceased producing eggs and menstruating, and when her husband (who was 100) was such an old man. She and Abraham had no children together, and she had long ago given up ever having a child of her own to come from her body. Back in those times, being a mother gave a woman status, and the more children the better. Barren women were treated horribly and often considered to be cursed by God.

Even in our day and age, when women are having children at ever-older ages, to have a child at the age of ninety is dadgum near impossible.

brosnanfan said...

And, of course, some of that analysis is from the Brosnanfan Opinion Translation (BOT). :)

john said...

Hahaha,

I don't do religion ....

It's causes nothing but conflict an arguments...

If people believe in that,good luck and I hope they get comfort and piece,it's just not my bag.

brosnanfan said...

Hey, John...no arguments from me. I'll argue a lot of things, but I won't argue religion.

No problems here. :)

Hobnob said...

john said...
Hahaha,

I don't do religion ....

It's causes nothing but conflict an arguments...

If people believe in that,good luck and I hope they get comfort and piece,it's just not my bag


It's not mine either. it doesn't come in a variety of eyewateringly bright colors with sparkles and sequins.

What i do wonder though is why does someone feel the need to believe in a god?

Why do they need to believe in a superior being, a creator.

Why do they mock other religions who say believe in gods of the forest, volcanic goddesses etc when those believers can physically see their god touch and smell and taste them , when they themselves believe in a god with no physical presence?
Why do they hate other relgions who either believe in the self same god but worship in a slightly different way or worship the same single god who happens to have a different name and acknowledges prohets of other religions?

What makes you believe in god?
Have you always believed in god (raised godfearing) or did you come to believe in a god later in life?

If you believe in god, is the bible the absolute truth. an interpretation of the truth via translation of the original language of the texts, a book written by whoever was in charge at the time with their own version of events written to reflect their own beliefs, biases or rules?

Why do you not believe in a god?

My enquiring mind wants to know cos i am a nosey Hobnob and this question has always made me think why.

john said...

Ditto Hobs..

Anonymous said...

Hobnob, You really want to know? I will attempt to answer your summary question as easily as I can:

Purchase a copy of the King James Version of The Holy Bible. The one with red letters that reflects the words of Jesus in the New Testament is best as it makes it easier to reflect back to them without having to search; also the large lettering is better than the smaller print. Take your time and consentrate on what you are reading. The KJV is elizabethan and beautifully worded. First, be willing to open your mind.

Start at the first page of the Book of Genesis. Read Genesis from beginning to end. Skip all the begats and begets if you like, and continue. Do not skip pages and chapters of the Old Testament, the Psalms, Proverbs or The New Testament. You will even find yourself mentioned in the Psalms and Proverbs as if God is speaking directly to you. At some point, you will become so intrigued that you will not be able to put the Book down.

Pay particular attention to those scriptures in the Old Testament that proclaimed the coming of Jesus centuries before he came to this earth. Keep in mind, this was no Nostradomis, psychic or soothsayer who wrote this Book! You will quickly see, this Book was not written in one day, one week or one year, and that it was ordained and designed by One forever far beyond our human knowledge and understanding.

In the end, you will conclude that this Book could NOT have been written at the hands of human man without the most high divine guidance and power as NO MAN thinks as this Book is written. It simply isn't possible.

Take this Bible, purchase any other Bible at your chosing for comparison, perhaps the NIV; or you could start your comparison when you first start reading the KJV. Start your comparison line by line and precept by precept. You will see some slight differences in some of the rewording but use your own judgement. Find the answers to those questions that were in your mind if they haven't all already been answered. They're all in there.

Your conclusion at some point in your search? The same as many scientists, atheists, and other highly educated and intelligent persons came too after studying the Bible for themselves; This Book IS God's inspired Word; There IS a God, he is High and Mighty, all seeing and all knowing, becoming aware that His eye is right on you at that very moment.

You cannot walk away from this Book without knowing there IS a God and this IS His Word. He reads even your thoughts just as He read Sarah's thoughts when she snickered to herself in her disbelief that she could ever bear a child at hers' & Abrahams' ages.

BTW, I think you will enjoy the story of Abraham and Sarah, and many other stories of the prophets of old, many that are very interesting and romantic including some of their sexual escapades.

You owe it to yourself Hobnob, to be able to make an informed decision and not one just based on speculation and questions in your mind that seemingly don't make sense but that you never research for yourself.

Hobnob said...

Thankyou Anon (please choose a name) for taking time to reply.

However you haven't answered my questions you only pointed me to a book.
A book by the way which was a conglomeration of two differing versions of christianity, a book ordered by King James to unite differing faiths.

The book was written by man, it is man who put words to paper not god.
Man who translated from hebrew via arabic,latin and numerous other languages.
It is not the pure unadulterated form it is mans' interpretation of stories.
Man, being who he is, will interpret it to suit his own ideals, beliefs and desires.
Look at all the different versions of christianity who claim they are the one true faith and all the other versions are wrong and will end up going to hell.

Look at the koran with each imam interpreting it in his own way, which has led to all out war between the different sects of islam.

Religion was, and still is, a way to explain away natural events, and then a way to control the masses.
How better to prevent the masses revolting over their poor lifestyles than the rich to say you may be poor in this life you will reap the rewards in the next whilst living a life of luxury, decadence and debauchery.
yesterdays prophets are todays mentally ill.

Please, tell me, why do you believe in a god?

As you can tell, i don't believe in god despite my mom being very religious and working her way through several variations of christianity from high church of england, to church of scotland, church of christ and finally spiritulism with her own beliefs and ideas tossed in for good measure (god was going to take her away in a helicopter when she died. he didn't)

Trigger said...

To Anon 8:13,

I believe that Sarah trusted God. She did not snicker against God or doubt God, only the validity of the messengers.

She did not trust the messengers who came and told her husband that she would become pregnant, until they confronted her about her silent laughter.

She was taken aback when they confronted her about her inner amusement and felt remorse because she was made aware of the validity of the messengers.

Anyone can say that God told them this or that, but to reveal her inner response twice was real proof of their credibility.

Trigger said...

Peter,

I see you as a messenger.

You are giving us information that will enable us to discern when someone is offering us a false statement of facts or withholding facts.

Many laugh inwardly and scoff at your message, but when it proves to be valid and accurate then we are taken aback and prompted to look at the evidence and results of the statement analysis process.

We become convinced of it's value and accuracy in detecting deception.



Dee said...

@Trigger January 7, 2013 9:11 AM...
You gave a very insightful analysis and helped me understand the passage better. Thank you.

Trigger said...

Hi Dee,
You are welcome.

Dee said...

@ Hobnob...
What i do wonder though is why does someone feel the need to believe in a god?
Why do they need to believe in a superior being, a creator.

I don't feel a need to believe in God, I just do. I could choose to be atheist or agnostic but I choose to believe, it's called faith. I don't much like coincidences and I find it too much of a coincidence that in this vast universe of ours, this is the one and only planet (that we know of so far) that supports life. It is just the right distance from the sun, there is just the right amount of gravity to keep us firmly planted here, there is just the right atmospheric conditions for us to breathe freely. I believe the heavens and the earth were created. I also believe in the right of others to believe differently.

Why do they mock other religions who say believe in gods of the forest, volcanic goddesses etc when those believers can physically see their god touch and smell and taste them , when they themselves believe in a god with no physical presence?
Why do they hate other relgions who either believe in the self same god but worship in a slightly different way or worship the same single god who happens to have a different name and acknowledges prohets of other religions?

I don't hate or mock other religions or beliefs. I have friends that are Atheists, Pagans, Wiccans, Buddhists, Islamists, Jewish, Catholics and many varying Protestant faiths. To believe or not and what to believe is a personal choice. That is our free will. I could never mock another's beliefs and then expect them to respect mine. There are radicals in every "religion". They are not following God's, Mohammed's, or Buddha's or whomever's words. They are in it to instill fear, for the power it brings them.

What makes you believe in god?
Have you always believed in god (raised godfearing) or did you come to believe in a god later in life?

Faith makes me believe in God. I don't know how to explain it other than that. I was raised in a Southern Baptist church. I left the church in my late teens. I strayed, became quite the wild party animal for a time but even though I wasn't part of an organized church, I held to my core beliefs. I joined a Methodist church in my late 20's whose belief system was more similar to my own (ie. I believe Gay couples should have the right to marry - love is love).

If you believe in god, is the bible the absolute truth. an interpretation of the truth via translation of the original language of the texts, a book written by whoever was in charge at the time with their own version of events written to reflect their own beliefs, biases or rules?

I believe the bible is the Word of God, written by man. God didn't take pen to paper, write it all out and leave it somewhere to be found by man. I believe God gave the words to be written, through dreams, inspiration and directly, especially in the Old Testament books. I feel a bit differently about the New Testament. It is about Jesus time on earth and the time after the crucifixion. While I believe God's word is included in the New Testament, I feel those books are colored a bit by the disciples own interpretations and personal experiences with the Messiah.

Why do you not believe in a god?

N/A - I do believe.

Anonymous said...

Hobnob, what this all boils down to is that you still have not read it for yourself, nor are you willing too! You can point out what this one believes and what that one believes and what you see them doing and not doing, including your mother's concepts, but none will satisfy what you seek until you seek it for yourself.

You can question anything you want and anyone you want too; but until you pursue it for yourself, you will never come up with the answers you seek nor find acceptable answers to the questions you ask. There will always be another question, and another, and another, never finding or accepting the answers you seek.

You cheat yourself by not looking into these matters for yourself; the Bible, chose one, any one, but study it for yourself. Therein, you will find the answers that no one can give you.

Trigger said...

We examine the principles of statement analysis, then we understand it, when we see it works, then we believe it.

We don't have to take a leap of faith to believe it once we understand it and see the results.

Faith works differently. First we believe, then we see it works, we may or may not understand it.



Hobnob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hobnob said...

I have read the bible.
I read it because it was a book and i was and still am an avid reader.

Having read said book, i found it at best mildly amusing with said stories of doom, gloom and hellfire. (i am a loving and peaceful god who will smite you mightily if you piss me off) and at worst contradictory, hateful and discriminatory.

I suggest you take the time to read

By the way, you still haven't told me why you feel the need to belive in god. so far all you have done is tell me to read and believe in the bible.
You haven't told me why i should put my faith in a book that has been mistranslated, amended, typo'd and generally tinkered about with according to the authors own desires and society's demands.

I don't believe in god since according to the bible in the beginning there was nothing.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
The obvious question is how did god come about?
You cannot have something from absolute nothing so there was something before god to make god, mom and dad god so to speak and so on down the line.

Personally i believe in multiverses since one cannot expand into nothing, one has to expand into something,
I think it is eminently possible th bag bang occurred in one of two ways, either we are the result of what goes into a black hole and comes out the oter end, a white hole or, all universes are spheres and when two touch the resulting contact creates a new universe, it would also explain why our universe is expanding at a faster rate rather than slowing down, gravity attracts and it is plausible that surrounding universes are attracting ours towards them. ( i did email a couple of astrophysiscists in regard to this and am awaiting an answer)

I also wonder how believers will explain god away when we find life on other planets since it is written he created man in his own image. A tad embarrassing when we meet an alien that looks more like an octopus with a bad case of chicken pox.

As a matter of passing interest how do you get past the 6 days of creation, fossils and evolution?

Genesis according to Hobnob
In the beginning was the word, and the word was OW.
There were several other words as well but dictionaries hadn't been created yet.

On the 2nd day the bandaid was created and also a sweary box.

On the 3rd day god created light and saw that it was good.
The wife however, wanted to see the dark again.
The sweary box did runneth over.

On the 4th day he created the heaven and the earth and the wife spent the rest of the day rearranging the earth.
God built a bigger sweary box and created ear plugs and saw that they were good.

On the 5th day god created the seas and filled them with fish and saw they were good and spent the afternoon fishing.
The wife sulked and rearranged more earth.
God had to sleep on the couch.he saw this was not good.

On the 6th day god created man, they got everywhere which ticked the wife off no end.
God went fishing, came home and saw the wife had reaaranged the earth a bit more.
He had to sleep in the shed, he saw this was really not good.

On the 7th day god invented golf and bbq's and saw this was bloody amazing and why hadn't he thought of this first.
He gave up going home, built a nice big boat and lived happily ever after.
The missus went back to her mother,

john said...

Amen

Trigger said...

Hobnob,

Your version of the Creation was humorous and witty. (I'm still cracking up laughing)

In it you revealed that your domestic life was miserable and your marriage failed because your wife had a bad attitude and bad behavior.

"The missus went back to her mother"

So now, you can live happily ever after since she is gone for good.

Have you read any other good books lately?

Hobnob said...

Trigger said...
Hobnob,

Your version of the Creation was humorous and witty. (I'm still cracking up laughing)

In it you revealed that your domestic life was miserable and your marriage failed because your wife had a bad attitude and bad behavior.

"The missus went back to her mother"

So now, you can live happily ever after since she is gone for good.

Have you read any other good books lately?


Thanks, i am glad you enjoyed it, My NY resolution is to make at least one person smile each day.

However, a couple of things.
I am female, a hobnobette
I am single having never married nor wanted to.

Hobnob said...

addendum

I am currently reading Dick Francis - Shattered, effective interviewing and interrogation techniques 3rd edition, Clive Cussler Plague Ship and Terry Pratchett - Wyrd sisters.

I have read them all many times before although Shattered is one i haven't reread for a few years.
I decided to work my way through all my Dick Francis books, it is like pulling on a comfy well worn pair of slippers.

The downside is i find i have to turn down my SA as i find myself circling pronouns and spotting certain words which seem to crop up in every book of his.

I also decided i would have a gallop through my Cussler and Pratchett books. Pratchett for the humor and Cussler for unbelievable derring do and buckled swashing of a nautical kind.

I am an avid reader and can get through a book in a day, i also have no problem picking up a story where i left off which is why i always have at least 2 books on the go according to my mood.

john said...

Hobnobette

Rofl

Anonymous said...

Hobnob, one day is as a thousand years with God. If you had really read the Bible you would understand that and many more matters God reasonably and fully explains in the Bible so that there is no musunderstanding.

Your version as stated above
is sickening to the core, not cute, not funny. You are a blasphemer and mocker of God
without justification and I will NEVER explain any of those demand answers you demand above, you being totally void of understanding with a deaf ear turned towards God. I or anyone else could turn blue and take our last breath trying to explain these things to you and they would still have no impact.

I will never discuss it with you again or read any more of your posts as I cannot bear someone blaspheming the Holy and all powerful God. Anger on my part? Absolutely not, we each have our own free will to make our choices and that includes you; simply there is nothing more you can ever say to me, or me to you, as I see you as being void of credibility,
totally in love with yourself, and a blind advocate for satan.

Obviously no God could have a part in your life as you think you are smarter than God, have no need of a God, admire and are in love with yourself. The pity of it all is, how badly deceived you are. I just feel sorry for those who might fall under your beliefs, influence
and may think you are right. THAT would be very sad.

God have mercy on you and them; I certainly do feel sorry for you and others who fall under your persuasion and disbelief as you are going to learn a very hard lesson, the hard way; I'm afraid after it's too late.

Hobnob said...

Anonymous said...
Hobnob, one day is as a thousand years with God.


Okay that's 6000 years explained away, care to explain the other 1449999000 years given the universe is 14,5 billion years old or 4499994000 years given the earth is 4.5 billion years old?

How can i blaspheme against something i do not believe in and has never been proven to exist?
I am pretty sure if there was a god and i upset him with my humor he would smite me mightily and clearly so the world could see he is a vengeful god or is he actually showing his loving and forgiving side by allowing me to write as i wish since he allegedly created me.

You tell me i am a mocker of god yet you still have not answered my simple question which is why do you need to believe in a god?
I have explained why i don't.

I wonder what version of christianity you follow and what its teachings are in relation to other christian religions and also in regard to other religions in general that have a belief in a single deity or even multiple deities.

I will never discuss it with you again or read any more of your posts as I cannot bear someone blaspheming the Holy and all powerful God. Anger on my part? Absolutely not, we each have our own free will to make our choices and that includes you; simply there is nothing more you can ever say to me, or me to you, as I see you as being void of credibility,
totally in love with yourself, and a blind advocate for satan.

Anything in the negative is sensitive.
Since i do not believe in a god, by default, i also do not believe in satan.
I also love myself since in order to love others i have to love myself.

Have a nice day, i still like you.

Trigger said...

Hobnobette,

Are you a writer also?

Hobnob said...

Trigger said...
Hobnobette,

Are you a writer also?


Hi trigger.
I am sort of.
I write children' stories which are also aimed at the inner child of grown ups.

I also write the odd ode when i am after something (it invariably works when i have a complaint about a product since i make them smile rather than grumble due to me being nasty or shouting) or when i am being sarcastic about something.

Here is one wot i wrote a while back

When I'm Cleaning Windows
George Formby
mangled by hobnob

Now I go breaking windows to earn a dishonest bob
For a child abductor it's an interestin' job

Now it's a job that just suits me
A child abductor you would be
If you can see what I can see
When I'm stealing children

Abandoned children left alone
You should see them cry and moan
You'd be surprised at things i saw
When I'm stealing children

In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll climb this blinkin' ladder
Till I get right to the top

The 3yr old, she looks divine
The twins are sleepin fine just fine
I'll grab the girl there's lots of time
When I'm stealing children

Gerry & Jez standing by the wall
It's a wonder I don't fall
My mind's not on my work at all
When I'm stealing children

I know a fella, such a w**ker
He has a thirst, can drain a tanker
I've seen him drink his bath as well
When I stole his daughter

Oh, in my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll climb this blinkin' ladder
Till I get right to the top

Pyjamas lyin' side by side
Sedated toddlers I have spied
I've often seen what goes inside
When I'm stealing children

------ banjo ------

Now there's a famous talkie queen
Her name is Oprah mistress of the screen
She got the gruesomes to spin a tale
About when I stole the small female

Kate pulls her hair all down behind
Then tells a porkie about her find
And after that pulls down the blind
'Cos I stole her daughter

In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll climb this blinkin' ladder
Till I get right to the top

Dear old kate walks around the floor
She's so fed up, one day I'm sure
She'll drop the lies and tell us more
About her missing daughter

When I'm Stealing children

Hobnob said...

one of my fave waffles

Frozen peas can be vicious lil buggers you know.
It's because they are so used to being used on sprains, strains and so on that caused a genetic mutation.
Over the years they came to depend on such injuries for sustenance and to help them breed, meaning, that these days they have learned to deliberately cause accidents to enable them to survive.
Favorite places are supermarkets where they like to lurk at the bottom of freezers causing their victim to lean in..
Individual peas working togeather as as a gang then grab the victim by their hands pulling them into the depths of the freezer where they proceed to pile on top of the victim stopping them from escaping whilst they feed.
Embarrassment causes the victim to blush, bringing blood closer to the skin surface and making feeding easier so they don't have to bite very hard with their pea fangs.
As a result is there are now more vampire peas that go around in packs than there are individuals.
They have far more success as a pack than as individuals or small gang (called a serving) and most bags of peas will, these days, have at least a handful of vampire peas inside them..
It is very hard to differentiate between the normal pack of frozen peas and the vampire ones as they tend to look very similar, but, should they get the slightest whiff of blood or they are approached too closely without protective gloves on, they will go into a frenzy, and pounce on the unsuspecting victim's hands savagely attacking with their pea fangs drawing blood.
This causes said peas to warm up and defrost but, as they are vampires, they are immortal and thus cannot be killed by mortal means such as boiling or the microwave oven.
A well fed vampire pea looks suspiciously like a marrowfat pea and tend to be lethargic when approached.
However, be aware they will instantly bite anything that come into contact with their body even if they have just fed.
It is a reflex action like wasp stings and snake bites.
At this time whilst they are lethargic, escaped vampire peas, if correctly handled, may be placed back into their packet where they will gradually digest the blood and thus become hard small, frozen green balls of deadly fury.
Not only do vampire peas bite as a reflex action, they can, in enough numbers, disable a fully grown adult by attacking the feet and getting underneath causing the victim to slip and slide and then fall to the ground whereupon the peas will attack and drain the victim completely.
They can sustain quite severe damage and in some cases have ended up being turned into mush but this doesn't make them safe.
In fact, said mushed peas (mushy peas) have learned to use protective armor and throw themselves at victims from great heights.
This causes the victim to become stunned and thus easy prey for the normal vampire pea.
Mint has been found to offer slight protection but again some species of the vampire pea have developed an immunity and have in one or two cases used it as an additional weapon in their armory.

Hobnob said...

All peas must be approached with the utmost caution and if in doubt whether it is safe or not wave a black pudding in their vicinity using safety tongs and watch for any movement.
And please be aware and very careful of those escapeas that leap out of the pack, pan or colander or roll off your fork and disappear under the cupboards.
They just bide their time until there are enough of them under there to mount a full-scale attack.
Beware, consuming large amounts of vampire peas can result in a build up of the phermone that attracts the weresprout.
Innocuous looking vegetables that can have deadly effects on the population.
Dissguised as baby cabbage they lull the victim into a false sense of security.
Everyone loves babies don't they?
The victim thus eats the dreaded veg not realising until too late they have ingested a weresprout.
On contact with the stomach they change from an innocent veg into a weapon of mass destruction causing the victim to emit noxious gases thus infecting those in the surrounding area with gullibilty as well as nausea leaving them open to the suggestion that these small green vegetables, are in fact, a harmless baby cabbage and good for you and not a dreaded weresprout.
It also has an abilty to use disguises such as chestnuts and bacon and can survive being mashed, fried or sliced
Children are ideal for detecting the presence of a weresprout as they cannot be fooled by appearances and so tend, on detecting said vegetable, to resort to hiding it in the dog or in pockets.
This is vital to the survival of the weresprout as without exposure to darkness in pockets or the inside of a dog they shrivel up and die off.
The ingestion of the weresprout and its passage through the dog's digestive tract is part of the lifecycle.
For many years scientists thought the dog then pooped out weresprout seeds and the cycle continued.
Tests were conducted in labs (and also yorkshire terriers and alsations) to see just how they reproduced.
It was finally proven they reproduced not by seeds but pollen spread by the noxious gases.
That is why sometimes you find the weresprout in strange places other than the usual pockets of kids or the dog's bed.

Lemon said...

Speaking of advocating for the dark side, Anne, we're getting tired of your numerous roboposting again. You offer blanket generalizations and personal rants, but no Statement Analysis.

You promised to leave, and didn't. You are baiting and belittling Trigger on another thread, hon. You seem to seek out and thrive on conflict. Your posts say more about you than you realize.

Why don't you take a break from name calling and have a nice cup of tea?

john said...

Hobs

Dick Francis does like his beef?

john said...

Fab if not a little freaky ...

Hobnob said...

john said...
Hobs

Dick Francis does like his beef?


Ding Ding Ding

You win a gold star.

He loves beef, in one book (Longshot) he seems to live pretty much solely on beef sarnies in various forms.(he makes a neat shepherds pie with defrosted ones)

I wonder if the undercurrant of food that runs through his books is a leftover from his racing days.
I know his books are thrillers revolving around horseracing and horses in general and jockeys have a battle to keep their weight down.
It seems though, as soon as he stopped racing and didn't have to worry about weight his love of food was released.
It shows in his writing.

Trigger said...

Hi Hobnobette,

Loved your "odd ode"
I thought that it was creative and original.

Hobnob said...

Thank you Dee for taking the time to talk about your own personal belief and how it came about.

Everyone who has a faith will have come to it in their own unique way.

Some are rabid and extremist in their faith, others, like yourself are open to all belief systems after all If god created everything and is everywhere then by default he could be a tree, a volcano, a rock, an animal.
It would be within his power to be what he thought was appropriate for the locals and is still god whatever name they give him/her/it.

Dee said...

Hobnob...You're welcome. I thought I'd throw out some answers to your questions (in my personal opinion) since they didn't seem to be being answered elsewhere. Those who can't have a rational discussion are not worthy of engaging.
I thought Genesis according to Hobnob was funny and God is not going to smite you down with a lightning bolt, lol. We need to have a sense of humor and I think God must have one too. After all, he did create the platypus!

Hobnob said...

Dee said...
Hobnob...You're welcome. I thought I'd throw out some answers to your questions (in my personal opinion) since they didn't seem to be being answered elsewhere. Those who can't have a rational discussion are not worthy of engaging.
I thought Genesis according to Hobnob was funny and God is not going to smite you down with a lightning bolt, lol. We need to have a sense of humor and I think God must have one too. After all, he did create the platypus!


You are most welcome
~puts away rubber boots~

Whoever created the platypus has a wicked sense of humor, i can see it now, there is god, knackered after a hard day creating and looking at the left over bits.

"Ok i got a bill, some fur and some webbed feet, let's stick them togeather. This'll makes them think hehe"

After a think and a cookie he looks in his jars of icky bits and sundry doodahs.

"Hmm these bits are too good to waste, what can i do with them? Hmmm, let's see. Right, 2 legs is good, 4 legs is better, 8 has to be pretty amazing.
i have a beak let's stick that on this bag of left over jello and it has room for 8 legs except it is gonna be a bit odd on land and will probably fall over a lot so let's bung it in the sea, it can't fall over and will be able to run/swim pretty fast.
Since it doesn't have bones i got a lot of extra space to fill so how many brains can i squeeze in"

After a bit of pushing and shoving god squeezed in 9 brains and with a bit of tinkering gave each leg, nah, let's make them arms, that'll really confuse man seeing an animal walking on it's arms, a brain to play with.
I got a bit more room left over for hearts so let's shove in 3 and just hope they never become vampires cos that's an awful lot of stakes and those aren't easily found at the bottom of the sea."

As he wrote a note recording what he had done he knocked over his bottle of ink, since the nearest thing he had to hand was the bag of jello plus attachments he used that to soak up the mess (he also figured it would be handy when the bag of jello learns to write and really confuse man)

On looking at the resulting animal (jello bag plus attachments) he pondered on what to call it.
He decided it had to have octo in it since that meant 8 and would explain the legs, well arms.
An octo was a silly name for an animal so he rummaged in a nearby bag of letters and said he would call it whatever the first 3 letters were plus octo.
After several tries he realised he needed to add vowels to the bag since an octozjx was a bit of a mouthful unless you were east european.
After a few more tries and several coffees he came up with octopus and saw that it was good (plus when he tossed it up it stuck to the ceiling which would be a cool prank to play on his wife)

Then, being male and with a few bits still left over that he couldn't squeeze into the bag of jello, he wondered if he could make a turbo version after all, who can resist something sleek and fast and thus the squid came about.
He saw this was good and headed off to the beach to race squid with his mates.


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