Monday, September 30, 2013
The Death of Ayla Reynolds Part Two: Child Abuse
In order to sexually abuse her, there is a process in the abuser's mind in which he must change her, and desensitize himself. As this internal process takes place, we see it in the language.
"My daughter had to learn how to handle sex abuse. I had to teach the girl a lesson."
She was his "daughter" until the "lesson" was going to be taught to her; hence she became "the girl" in his language. This sentence was told me by a man who said that he wanted to teach his daughter about the dangers of sexual abuse by showing her what men would do to her. He showed her.
It is almost impossible for the average reader to accept that someone might do something horrific to a young child, particularly an adorably cute toddler, but it is true that it happens and it happens far more than the public knows.
Having worked in the child abuse field for years, I have seen my share of vicious beatings of toddlers including broken arms, wrenched legs, black eyes, cigarette burns on the infant's feet, torn vaginas and babies who were brain dead; kept alive only long enough for someone in the family to come in and say "goodbye" to the beaten innocent victim, after being shaken into being "quiet." One young man who refused to speak up to police who were yelling at him, took his fist and pounded it into his other hand, in order to describe the sound he heard, he claimed, as the baby fell down the stairs. The interesting thing there was that the injuries were consistent with punches from him, and not from the stairs. He was literally re-enacting what he had done to the child. With a few months he had a website seeking money for his defense and like most here would have guessed, on his web site he said he was "innocent", "falsely accused", would be "proven not guilty", but failed to write "I didn't do it" on the site.
He eventually pled guilty to beating the child to death.
It was his second beating, as he had moved from another state where they failed to prosecute him in the beating death of a baby there. He, too, had his internet following generally by those who fail to listen to what the subject actually says, and who cannot believe anyone would do such a thing to a baby.
Physical child abuse is generally not a planned crime; that is, intent to harm is rare. Shaken Baby takes place when a baby gets on the last nerve of the adult who violently shakes the baby to make the baby stop crying.
It also dislodges the brain.
When a man sexually abuses his own daughter, he goes through an internal process of 'changing' her from being his "daughter" into being a "girl", that is, gender specific, and this is what we see in the language. In physical abuse, there is a process of change as well, but it is different. It generally starts small and light, but can quickly escalate into something out of control.
Such was likely the fate of Ayla Reynolds who died at the hands of her own father, Justin DiPietro, and covered up by her own grandmother, Phoebe DiPietro, and Ayla's paternal aunt, Elisha DiPietro, who, it is reported, were both, along with brother, Lance, raised in violence.
Violence often begins in lower levels; a slap or a kick, and then the abuser will quickly justify his action by claiming "it worked"; that is, it brought the child to a standstill of behavior: the child stopped doing what it was doing.
In Domestic Violence, women are not often "beaten" by their abuser, so much as they are controlled by the threat of abuse from him. Women in violent relationships quickly learn how to 'walk on egg shells' and keep the abuser from blowing in anger. The woman learns to alter her behavior in order to keep the abuser in check: she knows what words to say to pacify him, what bills to hide from him, and can read his face and know when to rush to the kitchen to fetch him a beer before he explodes in rage. She lives life exhaustively under his control (which also enters the language; see 'personal hygiene' in Statement Analysis), and has little say in what goes on in her life. It is the ultimate out of control life to live as she uses all of her talents, wit and wisdom, to keep from being attacked by him.
Children, particularly toddlers, have not acquired this skill.
The initial slap got the response, as even a child can understand that the face is for love, not for pain nor insult and will run off, leaving the bullying father alone, as he desired.
Dr. Larry Ricci of Maine has seen his share of child abuse and is an expert at reading x-rays and unfolding, even from just pictures, how a baby suffered. His expertise is known outside of his State, and he has testified in countless child abuse cases over the years.
He is able to identify, for example, from an x-ray of a broken arm, whether or not the parent's explanation of the "accident" is credible or not. He reads bruises, injuries and x-rays even as we read statements of perpetrators, seeking to enter into the statement. He "enters" into the injuries and into the story and knows how much weight, for example, from how high a distance, will cause a healthy child of a certain age's bone to break.
It takes a great deal of force to break a malleable bone of a toddler.
Dr. Ricci says that when the explosive temper of a male changing a baby's diaper rages when the child is not being cooperative, the wrenching of the legs open often ends in injury to the child; an injury like the one that Trista Reynolds described to the legs of Baby Ayla; likely wrenched by a short tempered male trying to get a wiggling baby to stay still.
The physical abuse of a child starts in low dosages and often quickly escalates as the abuser feels a segment of guilt for the initial striking of the child, which turns to anger, which, if raised in a violent household, is second nature, and not as shocking as it is to others.
The process of desensitization quickly settles in, as both parent and child becomes used to 'rough' handling.
At first it is hidden from the public, but as it becomes more of the 'norm; this is evidenced when you see a parent yank the arm of a child in public, or insult or threaten the child. If it is 'okay' for the parent to do this in public, you may use your imagination to know what goes on behind closed doors.
Ayla was said to have a black eye.
This was not good.
The excuse we heard was quite revelatory; that is, an insight into the life she lived, and died, in.
Justin DiPietro reportedly stated that "she got into a fight" in a ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese. People jumped on the fact that there was no ball pit at the Chuck E Cheese restaurant, rather than hear what he said:
"She got into a fight."
Do you know any toddlers that "get into" fights?
They don't. They're too young. They might grab and push, but they do not "get into fights" and throw punches. Yet, it is important to note that in his world, that is, a world of violence within the home, that he thought he could float a lie that only a violent household would accept.
Unexplained bruises and marks are the norm when someone has a fierce temper; one that will not accept his station in life.
Some locals reported to me that both Justin and his brother, Lance, were known bullies in school, never brave one on one, but only in bullying situations. Another said that Justin could not hold a job due to his temper; he did not like hearing the word "no", nor accepting an entry level position due to the chip on his shoulder.
Was this true?
Instinctively, what did Phoebe DiPietro think about when she heard Ayla was missing? She said that her first thought was not where Ayla was, or if Ayla had her blankie, medication or pacifying toys. Her first thought was that of violence and Justin...in fact, Justin and his friends "kicking in doors", rather than concern for Ayla, or even allowing the police to do their job. This is a lawless family and is consistent with the language used, the behavioral analysis, and what others have reported about the family: destined to live off the labors of others, and not contribute to society. This inability to take personal responsibility is throughout the family, and is seen even as the grandmother, Phoebe DiPietro, rather than say "the three told the truth", turned the table to blame Trista, even though she is not suspected. This was transparent on her part, yet indicative of just how she raised her own children.
Violence was the norm for this family and Ayla was not wanted. She could both be charming with her beautiful blue eyes, yet set him off in anger each time he thought about having to pay child support payments to Trista, who appeared to simultaneously want Justin in her life and not want him. His anger towards Trista could be placed upon Ayla, as she resembled her mother. Each time a payment was due, he would burn. Each time Ayla acted out, as toddlers do, he burned.
Then there was the broken arm.
Websleuthing went to check the weather in order to learn more about DiPietro's story of falling on the steps due to rain.
It is difficult to break a toddler's arm: it takes a great deal of force.
The x rays can be compared to the story, including measuring the steps, but it is in the 24 hours that DiPietro waited to bring her in is where the greatest suffering took place. In every case I was involved in where medical intervention was not sought immediately, it was due to substance abuse and panic.
Is it any coincidence that an unwanted child born to a father who did not want her born, with a black eye, bruises, injured legs, would be so unlucky to then break her arm? Did Justin really fall on her, rather than instinctively turning himself to protect the child.
I do not buy it.
Ayla was a battered child, with an increase in escalating and accepted violence, and it is very likely that the family will eventually make the claim that Ayla died accidentally, by a fall down the stairs, for example, and that they only disposed of the body due to fear that Trista would claim murder. Trista will likely be blamed, no matter what story they decide to stick to.
Ayla was not wanted from the beginning and was an 18 year financial burden and a walking, talking, needy reminder of Trista to a chronically unemployed man with another child by another woman of whom he had to be financially responsible towards.
Explosive and selfish temper...
Threats of legal action...
Unable to get ahead in this world with the lack of education and opportunities...
all conspired together with something else:
Next: Life Insurance as Motive?