Thursday, November 28, 2013

A Thanksgiving Story 2013

A Thanksgiving Story
by Peter Hyatt

Sean and C.K. Dexter Haven

This past summer, I put Sean in an expensive hockey camp at the University of Maine.  I did not know at the time how popular it was with the well-t-do hockey crowd.  It was a privilege to have instructors from the prestigious hockey program at the University of Maine teaching my son.  I was thrilled at the prospect, even while fretting over the cost. 

Wealthy kids from Boston to Canada attended, and the instructions were impressive.  The speeches from the coaches, alone, were worth the price of admission. 

Yet, I have never seen a worse group kids gathered together in one place, including juvenile detention centers.  

The coaches were strong, good men, yet were unable to control the kids' behavior.  Their mouths, in particular, were so accustomed to saying whatever it was they wanted, that it was shocking to the senses.  The new generation of ultra indulgent parents, who blame teachers, coaches, the government, or anyone else to avoid their own deficiencies, affirm the ill bred behavior.  Those parents foolish enough to submit their daughters to the rough treatment of boys only do so to set up their daughter's future abuse and domestic violence.  My son will not, even if ordered to by his coach, hit a girl.  To obey his conscience, and how he was raised, is more important than a game, and the authority of a father trumps that of a coach when it comes to morals.  Others are free to disagree and this freedom is something I respect.  I fear the incredible rise of domestic violence has occurred because we are not teaching our sons that masculinity is not the exploitation of weakness.  Masculinity is the sacrifice of strength, for right purposes.  The NFL players who, without mercy, take their aggression out on their wives and girlfriends are not "manly" in spite of their conquests on the field.

I am acutely aware of how old fashioned the Titanic Society of Women and Children First sounds today, but it might be a philosophy worth a second thought today as we have gone so far as to even long for the "Me Generation" of yesteryear.  We are the "Me Generation" on steroids, today, as our kids kill each other over "self esteem."  Everyone must be special and everyone must come in first place, and no kids should ever be corrected.

We are our worst enemy. 

Today's privileged parents demand the best for their son, others be damned.  The language of humility is utterly foreign to them, and treating others as you wish to be treated is for suckers.  This jello-shot, Canada Goose, Ugg boot hockey I-am-in-the-lcokerroom no matter who says I can't- mom's son must be the very best and get that lucrative NHL contract, and anyone who thinks otherwise is to be destroyed.  Her son must and will be honored above all others, forever and ever...or so today's parent projects.  

The privileged kids behavior.  

The kids behavior was so bad, and so out of control, that it reached the point  where they called the local police to lecture and, perhaps,  scare them into behaving. These privileged kids were abusive to each other and to the coaches in spite of the money paid to have the privilege of UMO's own hockey team's coaching staff teaching their children. Since Mommy and Daddy refuse to allow children to experience natural consequences in life, the warning from the cop fell upon the same deaf ears that the warnings from school teachers, grandparents, and other caring adults fell upon. 

The clinic itself was amazing.  I was mesmerized at the inspirational speeches, and was so pleased to see how hard my son worked, often falling behind in drills because he had to, when instructed, follow the rules to the letter.  If he was asked to skate over cones, he refused to cut corners, even though it slowed him down.  Each shift, he came off the ice exhausted.  At the end of Day one, he said, "I left everything on the ice, Dad."  I was proud of him. 

He told horror stories in the locker room, however, with one heart wrenching account of a boy who could not speak well, and was mercilessly being picked upon.  He wasn't interested in going into detail, however, and said, "Yeah, well, then I left."

Readers here know that when someone uses the word left to describe a departure, there is a story that is missing.  "Yeah, well, then I left."

Hmm.  What was Sean withholding?

The missing information is 70% likely due to rushing, such as time, or traffic, but with the 30% likelihood that there is a story to be told.

With his fatigue, and desperate need of a shower (hockey players and hockey parents know the smell I am referencing) I allowed him to not tell me, that is, until he was ready.  I only knew that Sean had taken a protective role towards the boy who was being bullied by the others.  The pecking order in locker rooms often begins with the biggest, and loudest and works its way down.  He always seeks to protect the weak; it is just his nature.  He is not big, but has a big heart.  

At the last day of the clinic, I was walking in the Alfond Arena when I saw a man with "AD" on his jacket, and realized he was one of the Athletic Directors of UMaine, I said, "You've got a fine group of young men here."

I just couldn't resist.  Those of you who know me, know I just couldn't.

I like talking to people and I listen with the ears of Statement Analysis.  It can be tiring, but in short bursts, it can be exhilarating.  

He said, "Oh, yes, the finest we've had in years!"

I said, "You miss my sarcasm."

He said, "No, you missed mine" with a smile.

He said, "Well, in all the chaos, there was one bright spot.  There was a kid down there with autism that the kids were all picking on because he could not speak well.  Apparently, one kid kept telling the others to leave him alone, but finally had enough, and threw the biggest bully against the lockers.  The kid wasn't even big, yet he did this and it seemed to help. Shoved him right up against the locker, told him to shut his mouth, in front of the whole group!"

I said, "Wow, that's some special kid.  See?  They weren't all bad, right?"

"Yeah", he said, "He's a good kid to do that.  Hmmm.  Sean something or another, I think."

I said, "Oh, that's interesting.  I have a son that plays here and his name is Sean."

A big smile came across both of our faces.  The AD shook my hand.

I am so very thankful that the bully was stopped, if only for a moment in time, and the autistic child felt protected by another.

I am thankful for Sean's teacher who gets paid far less than what she is worth, who, at no possible positive consequence for herself, loved Sean enough to tell me early this year that he was not behaving.  She told me this with a shell-shocked look on her face, prepared for me to blast her on how she must not be "inspiring"him enough.

I am thankful for the other parents I know who deliberately disappoint their children, to prepare them for life, and who honor and respect women, to set examples of how a boy should later reverence his own wife.

I am thankful for the professional teachers, underpaid, under appreciated, and often the projected target of parental abdication, yet continue on and on, for the good of our children.

I am thankful for the courage of the parents of the autistic boy who, in spite of knowing how vicious kids can be, still let their son enjoy the thrill of ice hockey.  I admire their courage.

I am thankful for those who sacrifice their own happiness, for the sake of their own children, going without, to make sure their children are provided for.

                   There are heroes in every day life out there, one needs only to look.

A single mother of two teens, working two jobs, desperate to teach her children the ethics of hard work and honesty, standing up to her boss for what she believes in. Putting her children first, her life became more difficult, solely for their benefit.  She knows that in a few short years, they will be gone, and she must now do what is right for them, even while her cowardly ex husband keeps his distance from those who most desperately need a father. I so admire her fortitude.

 She is a hero.

She is one who's respect I'd like to earn.

Victims of domestic violence, who bravely help others, in the spirit of our now lost friend, Susan Murphy Milano.

She was, and is, a hero.  She being dead, yet speaks, in her works and in her book, "Holding My Hand In Hell", as well as in her legacy carried on by those who loved her.

Young men, struggling to make a living, yet refuse to give in, and keep pushing back against life, in the quest to overcome....they are heroes.

A woman loses her own daughter, and finds the strength to go on, even when getting out of bed takes all of her strength.  She is a hero.

The victims of childhood sexual abuse, with all the horror within their souls, raging through them, day and night, yet, go on to not abuse others, but show kindness and mercy, even to the abuser.

They are our heroes.

A man loses his beloved five year old son, somehow finds the ability to not only survive, but thrive, and seek to become a legal voice for those who cannot defend themselves. '

He is a hero.

He is a hero in the name of his son and in his son's honor.

A woman's beloved daughter is murdered, and she finds the strength to speak to the killer, forgive him, and dedicate her life to finding missing children.

She is a hero.

The business owner who has to, on his or her capable shoulders, carry the burden of the employees, their spouses, and their children, and make tough decisions and sacrifices every day in order to keep the business going in spite of taxes that King George never dreamed possible from which to drain the life from a business.

They are heroes.

Ordinary people doing extraordinary things...things that will never make it to a blog, or be noticed by others.

 A married mother of two, never stopping to help out a friend in dire need of assistance, no matter the emotional toll it takes upon her, she gives, and she gives, and she gives.

She is a hero.

These are heroes. Heroes are out there, right before you, setting for us all, examples to follow.

For a moment in time, so was Sean... a hero.

Robert E. Lee, home finally after months away, was walking through the woods with his young daughter when he noticed that she was walking in his footprints, following him precisely.

"It behooves me", he said, "to walk straight in life.."

Well said.

Happy Thanksgiving,



dadgum said...


GetThem said...

<<<<<< wipes away tears.

and... good job Sean. Thank you. I would hug you if u were here.

Anonymous said...

You're raising a great kid there, Peter; soon to be a great man. My congrats!

However, you highlight a belief I've held for years, without your realizing it: Beginning with bulling kids and their bully parents in little league and continuing onward, why allow your kids to be subjected to this athletic abuse, bullying and degradation when there is no logical need for it, and when in some cases the lingering bad affects can last for a lifetime?

There are far greater and more worthy pursuits that our kids can aspire too and excel in than abusive sports that in all likelihood will fall along the wayside in just a few short years? Does it even make sense for our kids to endure this fleeting and nightmarish abuse in the first place? I think not.

Anonymous said...

This is a sad and beautiful story. The saddest part is if Sean had gone a bit further and gave the kid a black eye he could have faced charges in today's society. When corrective violence is used sparingly it can be a great teacher to the bully. Glad some parents are still teaching honorable morals to their children.

Statement Analysis Blog said...


Sports can teach boys controlled aggression, build confidence, and can help them become men, who may, one day, be called upon defend their homes, wives and children.

It is valuable in so many ways, in spite of abusive and errant parents,'

Vita said...

Thank you for sharing Sean's good deeds. I too learned a lot in this last week.

Monday I revisited, the little city that was of my childhood memories. My memories, my recall, the stores, being what were called the Dime stores. Kresge's to have a Saunders counter inside. These smells remain in my memory. Present day, the shopping row is of zero nostalgia. The city of once young families, is now of single persons walking the sidewalk. Walking with a face of do not talk to me. No Christmas decor, no lights, no sign of Children. No reminiscing for me to do. The once windows decorated along the stores row, Christmas magic windows dressed. No longer.

What has happened? that it's not politically correct any longer to represent small town America? it's now, the age of technology, androgynous, gray, shallow? that is in. Or is it that the public have become so indignant that it's safer for shop keepers to not decorate. To not put in efforts, as they will receive undaunted complaints of I do not approve, or I do not like that, I do not believe in that.

These of the masses, and they are so bored, so arrogant, entitled. I entered a coffee shop, no patrons in line, 2 persons seated. Two 20somes working behind the counter. Evidently, I bothered them as they were doing nothing.
I looking up, around, no paper menu, no chalk board of menu. I dare not ask, as the air of the male was this is a Very Important Coffee shop, if you don't know what we sell, you should not be here. Can't you see, who we are, standing here bored being paid well. The coffee shop filthy, the only open selling hot drinks.

I chose two over priced food items, and a coffee. The young woman to flip a devise at me, that she said, swipe here. She to say the total, for me to sign inside the white box. With what? I asked her? as there was no pen. She filled with anxiety, shrugged, with YOUR finger, she to be annoyed by my ignorance. You are asking why? I put up with such nonsense? As I drove in from the back way, to gain entrance of shopping row, I noted a man. A man alone. He sitting on a bench. He, why I went into the Fu Fu Coffee shop. As he was what grabbed my attention, within this city I once knew. I friend shared with me this, mid summer 2013:

I approached, spoke, he pulled down the cloth wrapped tightly over his face, exposing his eyes. He thanked me, he set both to his side. I never saw his face, only his eyes. He wearing a hooded snowmobile suit, someone gave him. He asked me my name, he greeted me, Hello, so nice to meet you, my name is Jacob. He in his mid late 20's, guessing by his skin. The food he appreciated yes. What was more, much more, was he and I talked for 10-15 mins. He to be a human being, with love in his heart. He not of woe, not poor me. He to share with me, that he was Schizophrenic, he not employable for now, yet he was in a program, papers filed, he waiting for his case worker, that he would gain temp housing. The shelters are full, he to say, I chose this city, that I knew no one would purposely hurt me, steal what little I have. I asked him where he sleeps? he to say a Church allows him the steps near a heat grate. He sleeps outside.

* Jacob, stood for his own survival, for whoever did what to him, he chose to go it alone, he no longer to be hurt. He to say, never again, Ms K, never will I be put into a mental ward against my permission as I know myself, who I am, who I am not. He with full confidence, this is temporary, and I will be off the street. I am okay. He to say of the persons who saw him, aided him, you saw me as a human being. This to empower him, this is going to pass, it's for now, not forever. I will be a better person for it, he to say, Thank you for our talk, oh, Happy Thanksgiving, as I walked away... comparing the two, his same age moments before, Lord help us all.

He, his will, his spirit, our exchange, priceless, he gave me more, than I could give him, he Jacob, yes is a Hero, his heart where he lives.

Nic said...

Not sure what happened to my previous message (maybe because I posted via my iPhone?) In any event, enrolling kids in organized sports is not forcing abuse onto kids. (Unless they really hate it.) The

My daughter's Girl Guide organization would not tolerate the nastiness and bullying you speak about, Peter. They made it very clear that if any of the girls were rude, nasty, uncontrollable, etc., that the parents would be called and they would have to drive all the way (hours away) to camp to pick their kid up. That they would not be reimbursed their expenses.

IMO, the biggest problem in hockey/soccer/most organized sports is that coaches don't stress that sportsmanship is just as important as gamesmanship. It also bothers me that they make these sports (hockey and soccer) "elitist" in terms of the cost being a barrier to entry. Not to mention the cost of hockey equipment in general.

Speaking of (hockey) heroes. Jimmy Howard of the Detroit Red Wings outfitted every player in the Ogdensburg Minor Hockey Association (Ogdensburg being his hometown) with new uniforms. People in the town say he's done more than that to support the league, but I can't find anything about it. :0)

Anonymous said...

Clint Dunn arrested for marijuana possession

Same "law enforcement" idiots refuse to arrest Billie Jean Dunn and Shawn Adkins for MURDER

Lemon said...

Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving.

Skip said...

Excellent. Thank you for sharing, and for raising a good boy.

Tania Cadogan said...

off topic

A gay waitress who says she was stiffed on a tip due to her sexuality, a claim that sparked national outrage, is having her credibility questioned by several friends.

Dayna Morales, a 22-year-old ex-Marine, claimed earlier this month that a family of four who racked up a $93.55 bill at the Gallop Asian Bistro in Branchburg, N.J., left her no gratuity, just a note saying they couldn’t leave any extra money because they “do not agree with your lifestyle.”

Morales emailed the story to a gay advocacy website, and later posted a photograph of the purported check on her Facebook page. The story made national headlines and resulted in thousands of dollars being donated to Morales, who said she would send all proceeds to the Wounded Warrior Project.

But on Monday, the couple accused by Morales of leaving the note denied doing so, according to WNBC-TV, going so far as to show the station copies of their Visa bill that apparently show a $111.55 payment to the restaurant – a total that includes a nearly 20 percent tip.

Now, people who know Morales are calling her credibility into question.

Kristina Calamusa, who describes herself as a former friend of Morales, told The Daily Caller that the waitress claimed to her that she was “blown up by a land mine overseas.”

But, according to Calamusa, that story was false; Morales was never on active duty.

The Journal News of White Plains, N.Y., also quotes acquaintances of Morales who say she lied about her military service.

Julie Howat and Karolee Larkin, both 23, related to the newspaper a story Morales supposedly told them about her serving in Afghanistan and surviving an explosion that killed everyone in her platoon, leaving her as the unit’s sole survivor.

But Maj. Shawn Haney, a spokesman for the Marines, said in an email to The Journal News that while Morales did serve in the Marines Corps reserve from July 2009 to May 2013, there’s no indication in her record of combat service in Afghanistan or Iraq.

Also, Haney said, “while (Morales) did not fulfill her reserve obligation, per the Privacy Act, administrative actions are not releasable. The same applies to character of service and type of discharge.”

That’s not all Morales has lied about in the past, acquaintances say.

“She said that her dad raped her and got her pregnant,” Kiersten Bremer told The Daily Caller News Foundation. When Morales failed to produce a child, she told Bremer and other friends that she had cervical cancer which spread to the baby, killing it, Bremer claims.

Bremer says Morales later admitted she fabricated the entire story.

Another story comes from a day care center where she once worked, when she told co-workers that Superstorm Sandy so badly damaged her former home in Stony Point, N.Y., that a boat tore through the living room, The Journal News reported. Concerned friends who stopped by the house found only minor damage to the carpet by the front door and no indications of the catastrophic damage Morales described.

“Every story she comes up with has a lie,” Howat said.

Morales did not respond to requests for comment from The Daily Caller or The Journal News. Messages seeking comment from the Gallop Asian Bistro and the Wounded Warrior Project also went unanswered, The Daily Caller said.

Nic said...

I'd like to add, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Thank you Peter and Heather for having created a great "learning commons".


Colleen said...

Peter, thank you for sharing. You have been blessed with a wonderful family.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Hobnob: Just finished reading an article on the story you just referenced which includes an update on that other waitress/racial slur incident.

As the author concludes, the biggest losers are going to be the wait staff. Perhaps peer pressure from their colleagues, along with employees being held accountable (fired), and publicly outed, will stop this scam. I see it as another form of theft using tactics similar to Al Sharpton, et al.


Tania Cadogan said...

'Dying of incurable cancer, raped by her father who killed her baby and the only survivor of an Afghan bomb blast': Former friend reveals 'lies upon lies' told by gay waitress who claimed she was given homophobic note instead of a tip

Dayna Morales' story that she was left a homophobic note instead of a tip appears to be unraveling
Former close friend Kiersten Bremer tells MailOnline how she fell for a string of extraordinary 'lies'
Bremer claims Morales said she had incurable brain cancer and was raped by her father who then killed her baby by throwing it down the stairs
Morales, a former Marine, even claims she was the only survivor of a bomb blast in Afghanistan - leaving no witnesses
But military have confirmed she never saw action and was dishonorably discharged for failing to turn up to drills
Allegedly left her fiance heartbroken by two-timing her with a man
After Superstorm Sandy she told co-workers that a boat crashed through her living room but when they visited only her carpet was wet
She's not working while managers at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, New Jersey, investigate her claim

A former friend of Dayna Morales, the 22-year-old waitress who alleged she was recently denied a tip due to her sexuality today claimed she had made up 'lie upon lie' including rape, incurable cancer and having a baby who was killed by her father.

Former Marine Morales sparked a national outrage after she told a gay advocacy website that she was left an anti-gay message instead of a tip when she served a family of four at the Gallop Asian Bistro in Branchburg, New Jersey.

But her story soon unraveled when the family she accused of prejudice came forward to allegedly prove that they did pay a tip and didn't leave an offensive message which read: 'Sorry, I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle and the way you live your life.'

Now a former close friend has joined ex-work colleagues to reveal that they too believe they were the victim of a series of extraordinary deceptions at the hands of Morales

Kiersten Lynn Bremer, 23, from Washingtonville, New York, said she met Morles in November 2011 when she got engaged to one of her best friends, Teresa Rivera.

'We hit it off from the start and I never had such a good a connection from a girl ever. She slept at my house so many times.

'But then things started coming up - she started saying things about how she was once pregnant and the baby died. She claimed she was blown up in her tank in Afghanistan. She said everybody else in the platoon were killed - so there were no other witnesses. We just soaked it all up.'

When Morales spoke to the media recently she talked up her experience in the Marine Reserve Corps, but it transpires that she was dismissed in May after she stopped showing up for drills.

While Morales did serve in the Marines Corps reserve from July 2009 to May 2013, there’s no indication in her record of any combat service in Afghanistan or Iraq.

Kiersten said Morales' claimed she had gotten terminal cancer from the explosion.

Kiersten said: 'She said it was oligodendroglioma (a type of brain cancer). She was telling us these stories and no one ever questioned her. We sympathized with her. There was nothing that triggered these stories, they just came out.

'She told us about the cancer and she made me tell our friends. She said "I'm in denial and I need you to tell them". I looked it up and it was very untreatable.'

Kiersten also claimed Morales would 'fake seizures' at her house. 'My husband and I couldn't sleep because we would constantly go in and check on her to make sure she was okay. We were constantly thinking she would die.'

The the stories got even more extraordinary and her veil of lies started to tear. Morales went on to claim that her father had sexually abused her and that she had become pregnant by her father, said Kiersten.

Tania Cadogan said...

Kiersten claimed: 'She said at that time she had cervical cancer which she claimed passed to the baby. Then she said her father came to the hospital room after she had delivered it and threw it down the stairs.

'I looked on a bunch of news stations. There was nothing. If you're 13 and had a baby and your father killed it, I'm pretty sure I would have seen it on the news. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

'Believe me, she can sell you dirt. She can make me believe anything. But the baby story went back and forth from it dying of cancer to it dying from being thrown down the stairs. But it won't ruin my trust in people.

'That's when we knew something wasn't right. She couldn't get the stories straight. And all the time her fiance was down in Florida coming up for visits and she's questioning things, saying that she needed to show proof.

'But Dayna was telling Teresa "If you love me I don't need to show you anything"'.

Kiersten also told MailOnline that Morales was cheating on Teresa with a man - by pretending to be bi-sexual who confronted Teresa.

Kiersten said: 'This guy contacted Teresa and told her to stop talking to his girlfriend. And Teresa said "She's my fiance!'

After that the relationship broke down leaving Teresa heartbroken - just weeks earlier they had been planning their wedding.

Kiersten's friendship with Morales also collapsed. She said: 'She was out of my life as fast as she was in it.'

Teresa's mother, Eunice Rivera, told MailOnline she supported their marriage. 'The way she was presented to me I thought she was a nice girl,' she said. 'but things started coming out about her.'

'Dayna is somebody that Teresa cared for and all the time she was playing games.

'But it got to the point that it was hard to believe anything that came out of her mouth.'

Kiersten believes Morales' alleged hoax was if true, for attention. 'I think she needs help because she is a pathological liar and I wish someone would help her. She didn't think her life was eventful enough so she made things up. Once she started she couldn't stop. But she may have learned this time.'

Jacqie Fitzpatrick said she worked with Morales at a Cheesecake Factory in Nyack, N.Y., last year when the waitress told her coworkers that she had brain cancer.

‘She came in with her hair shaved because she wanted to shave it herself before she lost it,’ she told NBC 4 New York.

Fitzpatrick said Morales also leaned on the cancer story to accept offers of help from friends at work.

Then, she abruptly quit, according to Fitzpatrick, and her coworkers didn't see her again until she appeared in news reports about the receipt.
Morales also worked at a day care center, when she told co-workers that a boat had tore through the living room of her home in Stony Point, New York during Superstorm Sandy, The Journal News reported.

When concerned friends stopped by the house they found only minor damage to the carpet by the front door.

Morales has so far not responded to requests for comment from the media, although she is 'sticking by her story' and has not yet been fired, a manager at Gallop Asian Bistro told MailOnline on Tuesday.

The restaurant has called in lawyers to investigate the incident and said it may well focus on CCTV footage of the family settling up.

‘We have cameras and yes, they are part of the investigation,’ the manager said.

According to the manager Morales was a successful server since she was hired when the restaurant opened four months ago.
‘We’ve never had any issues with her; never before,’ said the manager, who added Morales informed management she served as a Marine when applying. ‘She was always a very liked server'.

The manager confirmed that the diners have had ‘a couple conversations’ with the owners since the accusations of prejudice were thrown at them.

Tania Cadogan said...

So far, the restaurant's manager is holding off on dropping support for Morales until they determine what happened. But she will not be returning for shifts until the investigation is complete.

‘It’s a terrible thing regardless which you look at it,’ the manager said. ‘We want to get to the bottom of it.’

But since Morales’ story has begun to unravel the restaurant manager said he hopes she hasn't tried to dupe them and the public. ‘It would be upsetting, but other than that we don’t want to go further.’

A New Jersey family came forward claiming to be the customers involved and producing a receipt printed at the same time on the same date, for the same amount, except with an $18 tip.

They contacted after seeing news reports of Morales' story and claim the whole thing is hoax designed to provoke reaction.

To prove their point they also produced a Visa bill, which indicated their card was charged for the $93.55 meal plus the tip, for a total of $111.55.

The husband said far from being homophobic he actually refused to vote for New Jersey Governor Chris Christie because the governor opposes same-sex marriage.

'Never would a message like that come from us,' he protested.

Morales announced last week she would donate thousands of dollars in gratuities from supporters to the Wounded Warrior Project.

But the wife countered this gesture of apparent good will saying: 'I just felt like people have a right to know that - it's fine if people want to donate to her or to the Wounded Warriors but they're doing it under a false pretense.

The restaurant reportedly could not produce the original receipt nor explain why the family was charged for the tip amount for the meal last Wednesday.

Morales claimed that she felt judged by the family as soon as she introduced herself.

The mother, shocked by her short hair, allegedly exclaimed, 'Oh, I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan! You sure surprised us!'

She sent the receipt for the meal to Have A Gay Day and the LGBT Facebook Group posted it online, where it garnered hundreds of supportive comments.

In an email at the time Morales said she was upset she'd served in the marines to protect such ignorant Americans and was concerned about the example the couple were setting for their children.

'Never in a million years did I think this would happen,' she told Have A Gay Day.

'I am THOROUGHLY offended, mad, p***ed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free.

'Sorry lady but I don't agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you're raising your kids but you didn't see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service.'

Morales' story was met with an outpouring of support online, with a heterosexual Facebook user commenting, 'as a member of the heterosexual community, I beg your forgiveness for these ignorant people' and another wrote 'I hope those parents get publicly humiliated enough to never leave their house again! I feel sorry for their kids.'

Tania Cadogan said...

Morales later responded that it took every fiber of her being not to spit in the couple's food, but her faith in humanity was now restored.

'You all have put the BIGGEST smile on my face tonight and made me realize that there are more good people in the world than bad,' she wrote.

Michael Knote, 30, founder of Have a Gay Day, an LGBT education organization based in Piqua, Ohio, said: 'We've never heard back from Dayna. There's been no comment, no contact since our phone call; nothing.'

Knote hopes her claims do stand up but it concerned about the damage the episode will do to genuine victims of hate if they are confirmed to be a tissue of lies.

He said: 'We are very sad about the whole situation,' he said. 'If it's false it shows a poor light on the community'

Read more:

John Mc Gowan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Mc Gowan said...

Oops i posted this on the wrong article.

Happy Thanksgiving Peter and family, and to all.

Great Article too, and well done to Sean. :-)

Amaleen6 said...

As the mom of an autistic boy, any peer who stands up for those who can't do it themselves is a hero. These are the kids who give me hope for this country's future.

SStinson said...


Peter, can you please analyze Michael McStay's words?
It would be much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Transcript of MMcStay presser.
Partial, unverified but looks accurate.

Mike Mcstay: 11:05am (crying). Good morning, it’s not really the outcome (crying) We were looking for. But umm… it’s gives us courage to know (crying) that they're together. (crying) and they're in a better place. I know umm (I talked to?) my father, who is in tx and my aunt carol, and um, it’s been a tough road. Um, so we would ask that you would give the family members their space and let us go thru the grieving process. (crying) Mm, my family, appreciates all the support and the love that we’ve been shown. (pause) They were a loving family, ...and I know that all of America loves the mcstays. ...We're gonna find this individual, Or individuals and everyone want’s to bring them to justice. ..And if it’s the last thing I do I wanna, I just wanna know ... that you know, ... when it’s over. Umm..(shakes head) that’s all.

John Mc Gowan said...


Applause In Court As Philpott Loses Appeal.

Mairead Philpott's Appeal Refused By Judge.

In the first televised hearing outside London, the judge says Philpott had a "responsibility" to stand up to her husband.

John Mc Gowan said...


Things that make you go Mmmmm.

Saatchi: I Do Not Know If Nigella Took Drugs.

The chef's ex-husband says he's "utterly bereft" that a private email he sent referring to her taking drugs has been made public.

Tania Cadogan said...

Mike Mcstay: 11:05am (crying). Good morning, it’s not really the outcome (crying) We were looking for. But umm… it’s gives us courage to know (crying) that they're together. (crying) and they're in a better place. I know umm (I talked to?) my father, who is in tx and my aunt carol, and um, it’s been a tough road. Um, so we would ask that you would give the family members their space and let us go thru the grieving process. (crying) Mm, my family, appreciates all the support and the love that we’ve been shown. (pause) They were a loving family, ...and I know that all of America loves the mcstays. ...We're gonna find this individual, Or individuals and everyone want’s to bring them to justice. ..And if it’s the last thing I do I wanna, I just wanna know ... that you know, ... when it’s over. Umm..(shakes head) that’s all.

Interesting and lots of leakage

Mike Mcstay: 11:05am (crying). Good morning, it’s not really the outcome (crying) We were looking for. But umm… it’s gives us courage to know (crying) that they're together.
here he uses the pronoun WE which i would expect as he is speaking for the family.
But is used to negate, refure or be an alternative.
What stands out is the word COURAGE// it is unexpected. The expected would be comfort they were togeather, instead he says courage.
The would require further questioning.

And at the beginning of a sentence indicates missing information.

I know umm (I talked to?) my father, who is in tx and my aunt carol, and um, it’s been a tough road.
I know is used to convince and convey. why does he need to convince us he talked to his dad and his aunt?
Are there questions about family relationships?
Why wouldn't he talk to them?

Um, so we would ask that you would give the family members their space and let us go thru the grieving process.
SO is used to explain why something happens.
Notice the article he uses . THE not our or even my family.
Does he not consider himself part of the family?
What are the family dynamics? Do they get on well or are there disputes and disagreements?

He asks for family members to be given their space and then introduces the pronoun US in relation to grieving.
Is this him telling the us he doesn;t want space and will be happy to talk to the media? Is he desognating himself the family spokesman?

Mm, my family, appreciates all the support and the love that we’ve been shown.
Here he takes ownership of the family in realtion to love and support they've been shown.

They were a loving family, ...and I know that all of America loves the mcstays.
Clearly not everyone loved the mcstays given they were murdered.
He doesn't tell us he or his family love or loved the mcstays, only that all of america loves them.
He tells us they were a loving family, not that he and his family were loving back.

We're gonna find this individual, Or individuals and everyone want’s to bring them to justice.
Order is important he says individual first then corrects and says individuals.
Why not say we are going to get whoever did this?

He then tells us everyone wants to bring them to justice. He doesn't tell us we are going to bring them to justice or even i.
Everyone doesn't apparantly include him.
Why would he not want the killer(s) brought to justice?

And if it’s the last thing I do I wanna, I just wanna know ... that you know, ... when it’s over. Umm..(shakes head) that’s all.
And indicates missing information.
Missing omfo between bring the killers to justice and when it's over.

here we see unexpected stumbling and self editing after he mentions bringing them to justice.
Does bringing the killer(s) to justice have consequences to him?

Tania Cadogan said...

He starts of by saying if it's the last thing i do and then he starts self editing with I wanna, I just wanna know ... that you know, ... when it’s over.
Why is justice so sensitive to him? the last thing he does descends into babble.
What does he want to know?
He ends with when it's over.

When what is over?
The search for the killer(s), the trial? something else? He doesn't tell us, in stead he says that's all which is used to end the topic, indicating sensitivity.

He knows more than he is saying and gien his earlier comment soon after they vanished where he introduces 2 adult sized shallow graves i suspect his involvement especially given money is involved.

Goodwin said...

Thanks, Hobnob, for the excellent analysis.

It is hard to fathom the killing of a family, especially of those two beautiful boys and I was almost wishing I was wrong about MM but he is just too strange in behavior and speech--The video of the empty McStay house with Summer's brother-- The prediction of two shallow "adult size" graves. The truth is outing itself on this one.

As you point out, not all of America loved the McStays, what an ironic statement to make. I wonder if he is hoping to share in some of the "love", as in People magazine articles, etc.

In the presser, his saying "Good Morning", never mentioning once the dead loved ones by name. making weird faces to keep from smiling or laughing. Leaving the tears to roll down for effect. Focusing on how hard it's been for the family, not on what a horrible thing happened to the McStays, including two children..

I feel angry just to think this happened. The videos online of this family really bring them to life. I am truly longing for arrests soon and justice in this one.


PS Is MM Joseph's biological bother, step brother or half brother? Anyone know?

Anonymous said...

Clint Dunn arrested for marijuana possession

Same "law enforcement" idiots refuse to arrest Billie Jean Dunn and Shawn Adkins for MURDER

dadgum said...

Anonymous said...

Clint Dunns' arrest on 11/27/13 in Taylor County was from old arrest warrants issued in May, 2013.

Does anyone here ever tell the whole story? Sometimes I wonder.

Anonymous said...

Clint Dunn' s arrest is noteworthy, regardless of May 2013 war rents just now being acted on. So are you going to say an arrest of Billie and Shawn are old news not telling the whole story if they ever get arrested for murdering Hailey. I do not see your point anon at 10:13. I expect you have one but it is not clear.

elf said...

Sooo... what your TRYING to say is : Clint Dunn missed his court date in may and they issued a warrent for failure to appear and he has been picked up on that warrent now. Right?
Cops don't usually try to actively track down every fta warrent because they'd never have time to do anything else. The general concensus is they'll eventually bump into you again. I'm honestly surprised they didn't pick Clint up sooner because he's pretty 'high profile'-no pun intended lol- and I'm betting more than a few cops knew him by sight in that area.
I do agree that Billie and Shawn need to be arrested but what can we do? Ever since Hailey was found, no one talks about it anymore...

Anonymous said...

That's awesome, good for Sean! You done good, Dad! Anon J

BostonLady said...

A great post Peter. It is refreshing to know that there are still people out there doing the right thing in very difficult situations. Your son is a hero.

I hope your family had a delicious Thanksgiving !

Tania Cadogan said...

WTG Sean, you are turning into an amazing man.

Happy St. Andrews day BTW

24 sleeps till Santa yaaaaaaaaaaaaay

~ hands out christmas demands list ~

sidewalk super said...

I like the way Sean lives his life!

Anonymous said...

A word to the wise: I think Peter & Heather need to be teaching Sean not to practice physical violence. Period.

It ended well for him (and them) this time but they might not be so lucky the next time.