Sunday, November 17, 2013

"But, We're Just Friends!"

We were okay, but then the music started and...

Nobody, but Nobody, can dance with a daughter like Dad!  Be warned, young men!  I am not a balanced, neutral, peace loving father when it comes to my baby!  


"But, Dad, we're just friends!"

Hmm.

Principle:  'extra' words give us additional information.  Your daughter (not mine) could have said, "Dad, we're friends!", and the sentence would have been complete.  Therefore, the word "just" is significant.

The word "just" will creep into the subject's language in less than a micro second.  It is highly significant.

It is used to compare one thing with at least one other thing.

For example, I want to sell you a car for $15,000 but I know you are thinking it is too much money.  Therefore, I roll out a few $25,000 cars first, which look very similar, and then...

I roll out the 15K car and say, "Ah, yes, I know $25,000 is way out of your price range, but this one...yes, this one is just $15,000."

The word "just" is used to compare.

Parents, listen carefully to the language your kids use, following the pronouns, and grabbing those "extra" words, which are so very important.

If you catch your spouse using these words, it may be that he or she is "just" friends, but first ask yourself:

"Who brought in the comparison?"

If you, the suspicious spouse did, the word "just" is an appropriate response.  But if you ask, "Who did you have lunch with?" and you get, "I went to lunch with Bob; we're just friends" you now know that the subject, has compared the level of friendship she has with Bob with another level.

Proceed with caution.

16 comments:

Hobnob said...

Ah, what brought this topic along?

Jen Ow said...

Peter, your daughter is beautiful! I have a feeling you will be a busy man, fending off all the boys who want to be 'just friends' with her!

Suzanne said...

OT: Alec Baldwin changes his story...

Note he states "I never used the word faggot in the tape recording being offered as evidence against me". BTW the word he is accused is "fag" not "faggot". Also "never" is not the same as "did not". Also, he is only attempting to deny the use of the word in this specific tape recording, but prior incidents reveal otherwise, so the word "never" is not the appropriate word to use.

Here's the link: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2013/11/16/msnbc-alec-baldwin-changes-story

Treetops said...

Yes, your daughter is lovely.

Anonymous said...

My analysis is that Alec Baldwin is a bald faced liar. IMO, he also lied about the romantic words and allusions he made to the woman he bedded and accuses of stalking him. She's not the liar, HE IS. Pig. I hope his wife is smarter than this low-life gives her credit for being.

Carnival Barker said...

Peter, can you give us an a example of the same lunch conversation where the mention of the co-worker would not cause concern?

Sus said...

I like the pics of you and your daughter dancing.

Thanks for the lesson on "just." It makes sense that teens are looking at the opposite sex with interest and comparing in their minds whether they are "just" a friend or more.

As for the spouse, Peter said it depends on who brings it up. In the example to be aware of, the spouse introduces the topic "just friends." That means the spouse is comparing to more than friends in his/her mind.

Thanks for this lesson on "just."

Mouse74 said...

Anon @ 1043

That's a funny one. I hate to tell you this, but since you brought up your obvious annoyance of the application of Statement Analysis, it is clear to others that you are here only for the attention.

The thing with Statement Analysis, is you need to know when it applies and when it doesn't. It takes a while to grasp. It is not an opinion either, which seems to be the biggest misconception. Keep learning.

elf said...

Haha! My ex's boss was 'just a manager' once. They have a one year old son now. By saying just he was minimizing her importance to him. Of course, there were other 'tells' too lol

Local anon in the Hailey Dunn case said...

I love you dancing with your daughter. Some of my best memories are dancing on ice skates with my father. He never let me fall and made me feel confident and graceful. And no, not here in Texas. In NJ and Massachusetts where I grew up.

Lemon said...

Observer the Realtor:
It seems you are much more interested in Peter's house value than Statement Analysis. Its Sunday, your busy(body) day. I suggest a pet, a nice little dog, you can take on walks from your condo to visit the flamingos.

Hobnob said...

Dads tend to very protective of their daughters when it comes to frinds, good friends and boyfriends.

Why?

Dads were once teenage boys with raging hormones, they know and remember all the sneaky tricks used on girls and, since your daughter is growing into a real beauty, he will fighting them off.

The added weapon in Peter's armory is he knows statement analysis and will use it. Anyone showing deception will get short shrift.

PS if you do decide to do painting, i am willing to help.
I can sit in comfy chair and point out all the bits you missed, i have a professional qualification in pointing things out.

I'll start exercising it in the new year, it can be one of my resolution, i will exercise my pointing finger for 5 mins a day. :)

Observer said...

I'm aged.

Anonymous said...

Like I said, this is not a recent photo! The grass, shrubs and trees are all summer-time green and fully leafed out; no fall colors and both wearing summer clothing.

REK said...

What i find interesting about the control issue.. my own observations from studying people tell me that people who try to control others in their lives.. are that much more aware and afraid of someone else taking the control from them. People who take a passive approach to dealing with others in their lives..letting them do as they please.. tend to care less about restrictions.

just an interesting concept.. "it takes one to know one" type thing.. those who seek to control others are first to have a problem when others try to control them

Anonymous said...

at least they weren't twerking together