Friday, December 13, 2013

Statement Analysis: Love Interest


We've discussed social introductions before, and how they speak to the quality of the relationship,  but recently, I was asked to weigh in on a potential love interest for a man I know.

He was attempting to learn if the woman he was "pitching woo" towards (anyone?) was responsive or not.  (side note:  "pitching woo" was not his expression, but his action.)

There were indications within her responses, via text or email, that indicated that she was less than interested in him.

"I miss you" versus "I miss seeing you"

What is the difference between missing someone, and missing seeing someone?

I asked him which one she used.

He said "she wrote "I will certainly email you"of which I told him, "Don't get your hopes up on this one."

He said, "Oh, no, I think she will email me this weekend, as she said. "  He had been attempting to get him to make plans for the weekend and had given her his email address.

The key was "certainly", adding sensitivity to her response. Why the need for emphasis? It was this need to add emphasis that I focused upon.  I told him that this was weaker than "I will email you" in her response, and not to bank on a response.

Monday morning came and he said, "I hate to say it but you were right."

He said that he had not seen her in two weeks and sent her a text message about missing her and asked her, plainly, if she had missed him.  It was abbreviated:  "Miss u. u miss me?"

She wrote, "I miss seeing you."

He asked me about this.

I told him that this is something one might say if they have less interest, or if they do not know you well enough to miss you, yet the sight of you is a positive with the person.

He said that she did not know him very well, so, he said, he hoped it was the latter.

What is the difference when someone says "I miss you" versus, "I miss seeing you"?

Extra words give us additional information.  In this case, the phrase, "I miss you" is very strong, as the person misses the subject.  But in the latter, "I miss seeing you" is not as strong as the person misses, not the subject, but just seeing the subject.  I told him that it may be that she has not had a lot of interaction with him.

He said that they sometimes worked together but sporadically only.

I told him that his pitching may not be going so well and he will either need to change his strategy, or move on to find a new love interest.

Can you guess which he chose?

Next update on his love life:  Monday.



43 comments:

TrishapatK said...

Doing statement analysis to determine love interest or lack thereof seems like something that a LOT of people would find worth doing. You may find yourself with some new readers if you do this occasionally. I am very intrigued by how his new strategy will play out. Sadly, I think that it is hard to create interest if it doesn't naturally exist ... however I think it is possible to fan the flames if you'd got even a flicker of interest.

Anonymous said...

he's creating the problem. if a man leaves it up to the woman to get in touch to set up a first or second date it's a major turn off. he should me doing the work and initiating the plans. esp in the beginning. expecting her to put herself on the line by calling/emailing first is the same as expecting her to pick up the bill on the initial dates -- not sexy.

second -- saying he misses her so early is also big turn off. instead he shoul INVITE HER OUT> weather for something very casual like coffee or tickets to a show -- or dinner -- whatever, but instead of saying he misses her and leaving her to do something he should take an action about it and invite her to do something.

her statements show she's not interested but even without seeing wha she writes -- his statements show he's not the type of man a woman would take interest in.

Anonymous said...

As a female when I saw her response emailing him back i knew that she was not interested. I agree more on the subject of love would be very interesting to read.

Hobnob said...

He also seems somewhat passive about interest in her, rather than taking the offensive so to speak and making his interest clear it seems half hearted, i'm kind of interested in her but i won't make a concerted effort to see if she is interested in me. Asking her out for a coffee is a simple step and non threatening and a gentle letting down is easier than after being wined and dined. coffee is harmless and doesn't not pressurise.

Is he confident in himself when inteacting with women or is he the quiet shy type.

If the latter then he needs to step up and make the first move otherwise he will drive women away. We like confident men even if it is just to ask if we would join them for coffee. Even if it progresses no further it makes the woman feel appreciated that a man is interested enough to ask her out, it takes guts to make the first move, it must be horrible for men plucking up the courage wondering if she will say yes or no and of no will it be polite or will she be screaming harrassment etc. if she says yes the man feels wonderful and it improves his confidence no end, if she says no, at least he tried and maybe a different tack will work next time (the water cooler, the canteen, lunch in the park etc) good luck to him

Anonymous said...

when a woman says " I miss seeing you" in this context it has very specific meaning -- it means ask me out already or stop wasting my time with nonesense and get off the phone.

Anonymous said...

I was in love with a man, and we had reconnected years later online. He had moved away many years before and I had had a major relationship since. Anyhow, after we had been exchanging emails for a while, I got up the guts to write "I miss you." I can tell you this is the stronger statement over "I miss seeing you", because when I wrote it, I felt it with my whole heart. He jumped on a plane right away, flew to my city, and then chickened out. He actually did this 3 different times, and then had an arranged marriage. The end.

Sus said...

My take on the situation is that the man did not commit to missing his "love interest." He dropped a pronoun and instead said "miss u."

She seemed to know he wasn't fully giving of himself ...maybe even from being around him before. She answered by reminding him they have no relationship to miss...they see each other (at work?).

He still didn't make a move, but waited for her to satisfy his ego.

It's hard to tell what he will do. If you hadn't given him advice, I'd guess he moved on. But now he may feel it's a matter of pride and contact her again. She would be better off staying away from him.

Anonymous said...

You guys would probably have a blast analyzing some of the emails he sent me after his Dad had arranged his marriage (he was hiding this) especially one of the final ones where he says his feelings for me were not love but rather lust and infatuation and how I do not meet the list of qualifications in his head. Asshole. I wish him happiness though.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to add to the comments: Maybe this is a weird observation, but Peter's friend's use of "abbreviations" in his text

"miss u. u miss me?"

is somewhat distancing I feel in and of itself. When people do this, especially with something personal, it sends the message "I can't be bothered to type out these words". It somehow degrades the words themselves, and I also feel it is somewhat immature. Also, his dropping of the pronoun "I" is distancing like he is not really committing himself to the emotion of missing her.
One of his major problems in the dating game (Peter, I'm not going to use your expression "pitching woo" although it is hilarious!) may be that he is communicating using abbreviations. Many women are turned off by "textspeak" the major reason being that it sends the message that the man communicating is being lazy and will probably not make much of an effort overall. I would strongly suggest to your friend that he stop using textspeak abbreviations with women, and I promise you, he will have better responses from women.

Fig Roll said...

With regard to, "text speak" I look for consistency of pronouns. Where the "i's" appear and disappear. The text is consistent. If the "I" appeared once at any point, I'd look closely at it. If it was dropped at one point after being used consistently, I'd look at that. With regards to, "miss u. u miss me?" I see it as fine (as abbreviated text messages go) an the order is, he misses her first and then questions if she misses him.

Fig Roll said...

I enjoyed reading this article Peter. Thank you.

Recently a friend of mine was performing at a concert and a love interest threatened to take a train and turn up unannounced. He was a little concerned as he had told her not to come. He showed me her email. Her dropped pronouns showed she had no intentions of coming. She didn't turn up. He's sold on Statement Analysis now and is reading Mark McClish's Book, "I know you are lying"

One question, you mentioned earlier this year, that Avinoam Sapir was writing a book about the book of Genesis through the eyes of statement analysis. I'd like toread it. Do you know if its been published yet or when it's likely to be?

Anonymous said...

Well, as a woman, I can tell you that it is a turn off when a male can't be bothered to type out the words.

If a man writes "I miss you" it could be a very powerful thing to say.

However, if he writes "Miz u. u miz me?" it's like all a woman thinks is "wow this guy is illiterate". Then the next thing she thinks is "If he really missed me, he would spell the words out out of respect."

No woman wants to read a bunch of crap like that.
Let me illustrate
How about if someone sends you a text that says "I love you.'
How about if they send you a text saying "Me Luv u".
See what I mean?

Fig Roll said...

Anonymous, I agree with your comment. I'm not a fan of abbreviated text messages hence my comment ,"as abbreviated txt messages go"I was referring to it being fine in the context of statement analysis. If someone was missing me, I'd prefer to see them take ownership of it by adding the "I". Peters friends text is consistent. I am in agreement with you though as I'm not a fan of, "text speak" especially if you're trying to impress someone.

Lemon said...

"Miss u. u miss me?"

"u miss me?" smells like desperation, or a lack of confidence. That is not a good sign.

Is this man new (or back to new) to the dating scene?

Anonymous said...

Fig Roll, OK then, I forgive u. :)

Pam said...

Statement analysis or no, your friend needs to step up his game. If he wants to "pitch woo" or court her, he needs to put on his big boy pants and act like a man. He shouldn't be texting "miss u" messages or waiting for her to make plans for them. He needs to ask her out, whether for coffee or a meal to let her know he is interested. Wishy-washy men are the worst, so passive-aggressive that a woman is constantly guessing what they want. Tell your friend to "man up" and ask the Lady out.

Anonymous said...

Texting is a huge turn off. Is this a teen? I am with Sus. Run screaming

Anonymous said...

Anon@823. Lololol preach it like you teach it. Amen.

Peter Hyatt said...

Fig Roll,

The English Version is not out yet...

I am waiting, too!

Peter

Anonymous said...

If a guy has to ask me if I miss him it just smells of desperation, major turn off.

sidewalk super said...


So, who is the new pooch?

His coat is so pretty!

shelley said...

Statement analysis is a great tool but for those wanting to know if someome is really interested... its so much simpilier.

If you have to ask. They are not.

Maybe in younger years.

But if you are over the age of 25, I feel like you have reached that point where you have become who you are. You know what you like and dont.

You should know. That first date. That one... you will know.

Me and my husband knew. 20 mins. I never had to wonder if he would call or how he felt. It was just clear.

Its not that different than the movie/book "Hes just not that into you".

If someone is interested you will know.

If you are not sure... they are not. At least not the level they should be.

If they are too busy, they just dont care enough

If they are unsure, they are not.

I had been throwing uo all day. Was in old sweats and my hair was in a ratty bun. I was at my worst when my husband walked in to my house with my roomate and her friend's because she forgot something.

That split second of horror at the true mess I was quickly disapeared as his interest in me was so clear.

I knew he would be back. He was and we have been together 7 years.

Both said on our first date that we knew in those 20 minutes we first met that this was it.

So SA can help. But in this case it should already be obvious.

And if you are questioning then that is your answer.

The rules dont apply to the one.

You will just both want it and will make it work. Period.





Hobnob said...

Vonfrats Shelley

Fig Roll said...

Thanks Peter. It's one present I can take off my Christmas list. A book token it is! :)

Merry Christmas and Happy Christmas to all the Blog Readers.

Anonymous said...

Shelley, that is a nice story about you and your husband, but you can't take that dynamic and assume everything else works exactly the same way for everyone else. Not every romance flows exactly as yours did. I'm sure many people here could share various stories of their own experience that are not exactly like yours.
Just because this woman did not text Peter's friend back and all has not fallen into place perfectly as it did with you and your husband does not mean it is hopeless.
Peter's friend can do several things differently
1) Become more vulnerable: Allow himself to say/text "I miss you" without asking "Do you miss me too?"
2) Spell the words out.
3) Man up. Ask her directly to go out to do something like coffee or dinner.
4) Pick up the phone. Women respect this. It's a sign of respect.

It is ludicrous to think that this guy should just "give up" because she has not thrown herself into his arms and vowed to spend a lifetime with him.
He needs to focus much more on complimenting her about things that he likes about her. His major problem is that he is primarily focused on whether she likes/misses him too even to the extent where he had Peter statement analyze her text.
This guy needs to try again. Text to her "I'd like to see you again. How about I buy you dinner at x location? I miss talking to you in person, you're always so interesting to talk to."
Peter's friend, try it!

Skeptical said...

Perhaps it's my female "spaghetti" brain, but if I replied "I miss you.", it would mean I was being formal and polite and didn't miss the person much, if at all. To my mind that sounds cold and distancing. If I said I miss seeing you, it would mean that I miss the physical proximity of that person and would be happy to see him again. This is my personal internal dictionary.

Whenever I've been asked "Did you miss me?", my instinct is to be a smart aleck and say,"Yeah, but my aim was bad." But I don't.

Anonymous said...

Shelley wrote:

"I had been throwing uo all day. Was in old sweats and my hair was in a ratty bun. I was at my worst when my husband walked in to my house with my roomate and her friend's because she forgot something.

That split second of horror at the true mess I was quickly disapeared as his interest in me was so clear.

I knew he would be back. He was and we have been together 7 years."

I hate to point this out, but what you wrote (and I just highlighted this one part) as far as I can tell, through statement analysis, contains deception about your husband's immediate interest in you being SO CLEAR.
What you have described contains a lot of deception, or, at the very least exaggeration.

"Both said on our first date that we knew in those 20 minutes we first met that this was it."

Really?! What you are describing is a fairy tale. Not only was the love immediate (made even more astounding by the fact that you claim you were at your very worst and had been throwing up all day), but the love and agreeing to spend your entire lives together ("Both said on our first date that we knew in those 20 minutes we first met that this was it.") was professed almost immediately. Wow!
I believe that you are still with this guy, and even believe you may have first met him under circumstances where you did not feel you were at your best, but your story if anything shows a lot of insecurities of your own and full of exaggerations.
If you feel so confident in your love, why are you inflating it so much "he met me after I had been throwing up all day, fell instantly in love, knew I was the one and told me on our first date within 20 minutes he knew I was the one).??
I am sure this guy does love you, but your need to inflate things to fairy tale heights and to put any other kind of relationship down, shows insecurity.
It is also rude, because people are complicated and have their own situations, insecurities, weaknesses, etc. that don't always allow things to work perfectly smoothly IMMEDIATELY or sometimes at all, but you are insisting they need to run perfectly smoothly immediately so I'll stick with that.
Some people develop love over time--it does not him them immediately "this is the one!"
Some people's parents hate their love interest, because they are a different color or religion.
Some people have been traumatized in their life by any number of things and may be scared and withdraw when things get close.
Some people may be awkward (as Peter's friend sounds to be) and may simply need to force himself to show a little more confidence.

I just feel you should enjoy your relationship, but inflating it to the degree you have and saying that if other's relationship don't work out exactly as yours has (which is like a fairy tale then the person is not interested in them) shows you are insecure about yourself or your own relationship.



Anonymous said...

miss u. u miss me?
Doesn't merit a reply let alone an email! He is not interested in her but he wants her to be interested in him... Sensible woman!

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 7:00 on 12/14; your post to Shelley was very rude, unsolicited and uncalled for.

You have some nerve accusing her of being deceptive in recalling the specifics of the early stages of her own relationship. You are, in affect, calling her a liar; or at best accusing her of living in a fairytale world.

Who the hell do you think you are! Shelley knows the details of her own relationship, dummy. You are very rude in your false accusations against her.

Anonymous said...

Shelleys' relationship was obviously one of those "love at first sight" relationships. Yes, they do happen. Congrats, Shelley. How romantic. You are very lucky that it worked out the way it has.

Peter Hyatt said...

Do you believe in Love at First Sight?

Sus said...

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

You would have to delve into each poster's personal dictionary to find their definition of love to answer that question.

For me, the answer is no. Love involves knowing someone deeply and letting them know you.

I believe in mutual interest at first sight. I believe in a willingness to love at first sight. I could hardly wait to love each one of my children even before they were born or before I met them at their foster homes. It wasn't love...it was a willingness to love.

Shelley said...





Thank you to anon 6:21 and 6:29.

To the one who felt I was being deceptive, you are welcome to think what you want.

But I think you are the one that is maybe a tad sensitive about this subject? Not sure why but you clearly feel the need to insult what I said.

I did not lie.

I told the truth about how we met, that we both knew instantly and that we are still together after 7 years.  

Now, sure I didn’t share all the details. The baggage when we met, the hard years or the many obstacles in our life. I didn’t think I needed to since I never said we lived a fairy tale. I was making a point and didn’t think that was relevant.  But… We did have hard times. We have fought.  There has not been a fairytale. I don’t believe any relationship is. But it comes down to your motivation. You either want it or you don’t. It’s that simple.

My point remains.

When you meet the right one, I believe it works out regardless of any thing that could go wrong.  I looked my worst when we met  yet instead of seeing the worst….. he thought I was beautiful. Just as I was.

Also.

My great grandmother met her husband when she served on him at her family restaurant. They were both shy and so he left without either of them saying another word to each other. She still knew he was the one. He came back the next day for her. They were married a month later and stayed married 60 years before he passed away. Sure, life was hard. They had 12 kids, went through the depression etc. But at the end, this was it. So it worked because they both wanted it.

I also have had 2 friends experience this. Both who teased me when I met my husband as they felt I was just crazy. It was not utlil they experience it that they understood. …..

The guy friend was the most analytical man I had ever met. Needed time to think about everything. In fact, I watched relationship after relationship fail because he needed to take things so slow. He needed time to know. But then he met his now wife, and he told me he knew that first lunch date. They both did. Taking it slow was out the window. 2 weeks later she moved in. That was about 2 years ago. They got married, bought a new house and now are working on starting a family. Even when he got laid off and they struggled for some time, it didn’t destroy them.

The female always saw herself being single. Didn’t like being tied down. Thought marriage was just not her thing. Until she met her fianc√©. They met on Match.com. She figured it was great he lived in another state because it was more her style. He arranged for a layover in our town during a business trip. This gave him one hour before he had to leave to catch his flight home. Well, that hour was all it took.  This was Thursday. Monday he flew back here to meet her family. That following Friday he flew her there to meet his. 3 months later she moved there.  They bought a house, got engaged and are now expecting a child together.

So, if you think it does not happen, it just has not happened to you. I am not saying that some great relationships didn’t start slow. But what I do believe, is that when you meet “that one” that you will just both know.

Me and my husband had just about every obstacle you can imagine. I never said it was perfect. That was also NOT THE POINT. No relationship is perfect. The best ones actually I think make you grown as a person. We have both grown A LOT and continue to grow. 

You are welcome to your opinion. You clearly have not experienced this.

But, I did not lie. Did we have obstacles? Yes. But 7 years later we are happy and do not want to be anywhere else or experience this life with anyone else.

I don’t know if I would call it “love at first sight” but I do know that I knew this was the man I would be with forever and I knew it instantly.

Maybe it’s more. Everyone has different beliefs, god, heaven, fate, destiny etc. It could be many things.

I don’t know what to call it. But I did know that I was going to be with him. People called me crazy. But I knew.

Nic said...

Needy. Blech. For me, being assertive and decisive goes a long way. Be honest and direct. (Direct, but not crude!) It makes communicating so much more simpler.

Lemon hit it.

Love at first sight: Hmmmm, I don't know. The first time I met my husband, there was nothing. Like on any level. Ten years later, bam! He walked into the bar to meet up with a gang of people I was also invited out with. I saw him walk in. We saw each other. He smiled a really nice acknowledging smile at me and I smiled back. He grabbed the seat across the table from me, and that was it!

Remembering still makes me smile.


Shelley said...





Nic in response to your comment “The first time I met my husband, there was nothing. Like on any level. Ten years later, bam! He walked into the bar to meet up with a gang of people I was also invited out with. I saw him walk in. We saw each other. He smiled a really nice acknowledging smile at me and I smiled back. He grabbed the seat across the table from me, and that was it!”



I am curious. How old were you when you met your husband the first time and how did you meet him at the time?

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 6:21 am,

You are the one who is being rude by name-calling. I was not rude to Shelley and did not call her any names. So check your own behavior.

Shelley,

I do not doubt the essence of your story (although I do feel like you are exaggerating a few things.) They are not very important details, but I wondered why you were including them, and my impression was that you were trying to paint a somewhat exaggerated scenario.
One of the things I doubt is that you had been throwing up all day. I am not saying a man could not fall in love with you under that circumstance of meeting you when you were not at your best, but this is statement analysis, and that is how I am picking up on the deception in that detail.

What I had a problem with is your dictating that "this is how it happened to me, this is how it should work with everyone".

You wrote

"You should know. That first date. That one... you will know.

Me and my husband knew. 20 mins. I never had to wonder if he would call or how he felt. It was just clear."

Maybe I was wrong to call you deceptive or exaggerating, maybe I should have just pointed out that you are being slightly naive to think that if a person doesn't know on the first date that the person is "the one" then the person is not really interested in them nor they in the other person.

I actually have experienced something very similar to what you describe. Although certain things that you stated like "never" wondering if they will call, no I have not experienced that with the man I am with initially. I was on pins and needles wondering would he call? But other than that our stories are not very different. No, he did not meet me at my worst either, I was dressed up out and about. I don't think it is that terribly unusual for people to have immediate physical attraction and for things to then fairly quickly fall into place to where they are then spending every day together for the next 10 years.

Do I think this is the only way that it can happen?

No. Absolutely not.

Have I experienced love that evolved quite differently to that previous to the relationship I am in now?

Yes.

Was this love "inferior" to the present love?

No.

Do I believe in love at first sight?

Possibly. But I feel this is very unusual, and that getting to know a person is usually essential to love developing.


Anonymous said...

Also, just a general comment: Yes, I have read stories of people saying they saw some person for a second and "knew immediately they were the one".
Most of the time, this is an old person telling the story, staring backward through the filter of time, and it is mostly a cliche.
It is a cheesy expression.
Also, it does not tell me much. What does "I knew he/she was the one." mean? Honestly, what does it mean?
Does it mean "this was the one I would marry, this was the perfect man/woman for me!"
Does it mean "She was the one. The one who would do my laundry and bear me children?"
Just tell me what it means and I'll believe it!
Love is something quite mysterious, and it unclear to me if anyone has discovered a formula describing exactly how it develops or why.
Looking at someone, as most old people have apparently done when they were younger and saying "I knew he/she were the one." it tells me nothing. It tells me they are using a cliche.

Fig Roll said...

Anonymous wrote re Shelly on Dec 14th at 7.00pm


What you have described contains a lot of deception, or, at the very least exaggeration.

"Both said on our first date that we knew in those 20 minutes we first met that this was it."

Anonymous, please can you help me using Statement Analysis, to understand where the deception is shown in Shellys statement. I'm keen to learn.

Many thanks

Fig Roll

Nic said...

Shelley,

I was in my mid-20's when we first met. I was 35 and he was 42 when we re-met.

BTW, I said, "No" when he first asked me to marry him. I figured we could just live together like a new age couple. !!! Marriage was a "been there done that" thing for me. But he persevered. He's a conventional guy and if kids were going to be in the mix (which they are - neither of us had any coming together) he wanted us to be "a family". He said, "'Nic', *this* (framing his head and shoulders with is fingers,) is a good guy." *sniff!* He is and then some.

I come from a background of liars. Both my parents lied. All the time. My references were very muddled and my personal relationships were truly f.u'd. Even friendships were not healthy.

Life turned on a dime when I met "Mr. Nic".

Peter's blog has helped me a lot.

Thanks, Peter! Merry Christmas to you and yours. Love your pooch! I love German Shepherds. The farmer who used to live across from us, his son bred them. We'd take the kids over to walk the puppies while we snowshoed through their fields. Fluffy fun times! :0)

Nic said...

My ages are wrong. Mr. Nic is five years older than me. I was almost 36 and he was 41.

Anonymous said...

Fig Roll, sure. I will be happy to explain.

There is one area that jumps out at me most.

(I have done the capitalizations.)

Shelley wrote

"I had been throwing up all day. Was in old sweats and my hair was in a ratty bun. I was at my worst when MY HUSBAND walked in to MY house with my roomate and her friend's because she forgot something.

"I had been throwing up all day."

1) writer does not say what day she was throwing up. ie the day I first met my future husband, and this suggests deception

2) writer does not say WHY she was throwing up the entire day. Ask yourself, if you were writing this would you not naturally provide this information? ie I had been sick and had been throwing up all day

Was in old sweats and my hair was in a ratty bun.

1) writer does not use the pronoun "I" to start the sentence, reducing commitment

"I was at my worst when MY HUSBAND walked in to MY house with my roomate and her friend's because she forgot something."

She calls him "my husband" when, in fact, he was not her husband at this time. Ask yourself would you have written "my future husband" or "the man who would become my husband"? This suggests she is fabricating this detail of the throwing up, being at her very worst.


"That SPLIT second of horror at the TRUE mess I was QUICKLY disapeared as his interest in me was SO clear."

This is a very deceptive statement. Throughout the statement, you can see the words I have capitalized, all of which reduce credibility to every element of her statement--here is where the deception is:

1) the horror (and whose horror I do not know his or hers?) did not last only a "split" second
1) she was not a "true" mess
3)horror did not "quickly" disappear
4) interest was not made "so" clear

I am willing to say that THIS sentence is fabricated either entirely or there is only one element of it that is true. This is what I believe is true--the man who would become her future husband showed some type of interest, engaging in conversation with her. The rest of the sentence contains fabricated information.

"I knew he would be back. He was and we have been together 7 years."

No deception here, but it is vague. We don't know when he came back. The next day? Next month? Five years later? It is not said.


"Both said on our first date that we knew in those 20 minutes we first met that this was it. "

This is deceptive. This is not what was said. I believe the writer did have a first date with this man, how far in time after the first meeting is completely unclear. However, they did not say to each other on their first date "I knew in those 20 minutes we first met this is it." It simply did not happen and makes no sense in terms of how this would have been stated on a first date, perhaps ten years later something like this could have been said, but the sentence is coming from a place where much time has passed. Something may have been said on the first date like "I couldn't stop thinking about you after I first met you and wanted to call you."

Vita said...

First reading
"I miss you" versus "I miss seeing you" My brain, it was a cyber met, they not to have ever met. Or they have not met as in the two of them, not they being alone, vs group setting.

Certainly, as stated, is a gesture of reciprocation with making nice.

It's not a promised act, as in if you don't hear from me by, No. It wasn't said either, as of action to be declared out of I miss you.

The written of " Miss u. u miss me?" is not of a challenge for her as recipient. She to read what he did write. He is hook, line and sinker for her. She isn't even hooked. He displaying via his own written there is no challenge for her to accept. It's he is cooked. He is "beguiled all by himself"

"I miss seeing you" her response. It's not of cease, nor is it of, I am interested, for more.

There is though ( more) within the man being smitten, he overtly smitten with her. He not to know her, only to know of her.

Her response, " I miss seeing you"

I do believe that between the two, there is one connection. It's not of Love at first sight. It's though of attraction. The type that pokes you, again when it is least expected. It's of triggers due to the energy of that person.

We fall in " infatuation" with slightly met people, this is very uncommon. This could be defined as Kismet, yet it's not.

Is two persons met. They to be male and female. Both to find within meeting each other, that they each (their person) was Enhanced by the others energy.

People tell you who they are. Yes, they do. We to listen will find their truth saids. As do people have energy, and they create reactions within " a select" few during a life time.

This to be instantly felt upon first meeting. For it to go on, it to continue, this euphoric feeling, the powerful it is: is the connection, that is this person, they to collide.

Again it's very uncommon. It's less than a handful of persons we meet, that cause such a feeling. It's the person needed, for the feeling to not be continued, yet to be felt again, " was that real?" this feeling I found by meeting this person?

As WE are all energy givers and receivers. This woman, that your friend is so intrigued by, it's not her, no. He is intrigued by HOW and WHO he became when he met her, is near her. As her energy is very uncommon. He is experiencing what could be his first, not to be confused with LOVE: at first sight

" How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you"

She is who she is.

This though is "HIM" how he feels uplifted when he thinks of her, or is in her presence. He thinks it's HER. It's not. It's HIM. He reactionary of her energy that he discovered a new facet of himself.

It's very powerful, if you have ever met a person that " you felt magnet too" - upon meeting once. It's not them, it's you, your reaction of their energy, this the want and need. It's thriving and alive within you. It's that this person showed you, YOU. This why the connection feels so "once in a lifetime important" that it's conceived as " a sign".

There is no end, once, this is discovered, this feeling felt. That is so subscribed to another being. When all in all it wasn't and is not that person. It to be HOW that person allowed you to feel about yourself.

It will forever be chased, this feeling, if it's not proven love. I believe some call it, once felt, they to blame that person. It's chasing the dragon, yes? when all and all you are chasing your own self, withholding yourself. Due to that feeling once of improbable came and went. When in real, reality this person came into your life, to Nudge you. To show you, who you are, it's up to you to prove it to yourself.

Anonymous said...

What everyone is saying is true. However, the kind of love that does not hit you at once, but rather sneaks up on you and into you, unaware of it until it catches you suddenly, off guard: people think that love will not be as magical?
I will tell you what that kind of love will do. That love will put you in your place, every game you have ever played, every facade you have ever put up, every pretense will be reduced to rubble. Only you will not realize this at first either. Just like you did realize right away the love you felt. But it will happen.
You will run from it, you will play games with it, you will try to reduce it, define it, deny it, this love that has infected you. But it will be futile.
You do not want that kind of love. You will be brought to your knees by that kind of love, all arrogances, lies, pretences crushed. You will try to rip the thorns from your heart.
In the end, your pride will be annihilated, you will no longer be great, or cool, or on top of things. No, you will not. Your riches will be torn away, as if by a hurricane, and you will stand in rags before this person you love.