Saturday, July 26, 2014

The Personal Prison of Liars

                            The Personal Prison of Lies
                                                        by Peter Hyatt

This is a sad article, but one of reality from observation and experience.

Readers of Statement Analysis are not the "low information voter" we often hear about in our day.
Readers are known by their comments, even when politically charged.  Rare is the comment that is more suited for a bumper sticker than an argument.

Thus I write to those readers who have cared enough to learn, not simply about a specific case, but to learn a new skill.

Readers who stumble here because of a case are welcome, but it was "the conclusion of the matter" that they sought.  "Was he lying, yes or no?" whereas regular commentators were not only concerned with the principles that drew the conclusion, but that I, as author, continue to follow principle, and "prove it" time and time again.

Hey, it's hard to be right so often.

Yet, it is exciting to know that the principles followed are evenly applied and "scientific", in that, this is not about, "hey did you see how she averted her eyes, and her face muscle twitched?" in a manner that cannot be applied consistently.  Commentators are not afraid to call me upon the carpet and demand answers.

Good for them.

I often say (and will, as readers have helped me move another step towards recorded lessons) "he who asserts must prove" and even the socialists among us enjoy this.  It is where we find unity in a day when our nation is more divided in any time since The War of Northern Aggression, I mean, the War Between the States.


Liars are something we agree upon.

Liars on both sides of our political divide.

We almost must elect "he who lies least" in our day.  Sad, but so.

Yet, what of those you have met?

What of those that you have, over time, discerned, using the skills you learned here?

For some of you, the skills were already there; I simply applied principle to your intuition, and even as I state this, you are aware that I am in the debt of one, Avinoam Sapir, of LSI, who brought forth the incredible research and tied it in a package of which all stripes of investigators have come to love, and benefit from.  Some have stolen from him, without even a nod, while others, myself included, make certain that the public knows where the master trainer and author can be found.  This is why I regularly post his website, in case you wondered.  LSISCAN

You've learned and you have grown, regardless of source, and you have encountered someone in your personal or professional life who is a liar.

A liar.

A fabricator of reality, known, not for a single lie in a moment of weakness, something we all do, and must be remorseful and turn from, but one who cannot turn it off, any better than Statement Analysis can be silenced in the mind of who has practiced heavily upon.  The liar.  The one who is not only known for his or her lying, but something else.  Hence, or as Patsy wrote, "And hence...", the target of my article.

The Prisoner. 

The Liar, the one who lies regularly, is known for two things:

1.  Lying when lying is not necessary
2.  Projection

1.  Lying when there is no cause to lie is a sign of a habitual, or lifetime liar.  This is the one who learned in childhood and has lied, likely learning to lie just to survive in the most formative years, and who will lie even when it is not necessary to do so.

This is the one who, perhaps, suffered abuse before the age of 5, and learned to survive by her wits, and learned the "reward"of the lie; that is, she got away with it.

Because she felt the rush of success when she lied, and saw that she got away with it, her confidence in lying surged, which by consequence, meant her opinion of others fell, after all, "I must be smarter than this teacher.  I lied and she didn't catch me."

This spreads until there are life long consequences in the formation of the personality:

2.  Projection

a.  Contempt
b.  Suspicion

a.  Contempt.

The liar holds us all in contempt.  She must to, by virtue of her success in lying. This is the precise reason the dopey liar will take and fail a polygraph:  she has deep and abiding faith in her ability to put one over you, and put one over me, so a machine should not be too much trouble.

Some will do this with a flashy smile.  Women will lie using sex appeal, just as a male, often seen as a sociopath, will use innate charm, coupled with lies, to accomplish his feats.

The contempt for us, belies the pride within self, which is often the source of the fall. The prideful sociopath is goaded, by police, into taking the polygraph when he knows he should not take it.

This contempt is a form of prison that the liar cannot break out of, but if this was not specifically a negative, other than the weak spot for the fall, there is a blaring negative that they can never escape:

b.  Suspicion.

The liar believes everyone is a liar.

It is this simple.

The liar can lose sleep just wondering who is plotting against her, just as she plots against others.

The liar finds no rest for his soul, as he thinks everyone will lie to him in business, even as he lies to everyone else in business.

The liar thinks the car salesman is out to get him, personally, and burns with rage over prices.

The liar thinks that an item purchased for $25, but later on sale for $20, was a personal insult and a "defeat" of sorts, and may seek to "pay back" the store, or person who made the $5 extra dollars.

The liar struggles with peace.  If the feeling of superiority is a positive (as they may not see it as a weak spot targeted by those smarter), the liar is fully aware that the feeling of suspicion is exhausting to the soul, as an incessant negative in life. It is a drain of energy.  It can either cost sleep, or cause too much sleep, as if to hide from the lies.  Hyper-suspicion, such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sufferers know, is constant for the liar.  It is a personal prison.

Can you imagine going through life believing anyone and everyone is out to best you?  Can you imagine going through life without trust, or without rest?

It is a personal prison of loneliness, for even other habitual or pathological liars do not get along well with each other.

It is a most lonely prison.

As a mother, the liar is suspicious, and even jealous of, her own off spring.  It becomes a love-hate relationship and depending up which way the wind blows on any given morning, will depend on which is more dominant:

hate or love.

Love or hate.

But for you, astute readers who have learned, or have begun learning, to discern lies, it is a most sad and depressing observation.
"What can ya' do?

There is not much you can do, really, except perhaps, talk or write about it.  It is a sadness that you may have observed, and/or, you have may experienced.  I pity those of you who are employed or managed by a pathological liar.  There is little you can do to "prove" your honesty.  The liar cannot hear you.  The liar cannot understand you.  The liar believes you are beneath the liar's level of functioning in this world, and that you are to be manipulated and controlled, for whatever end is needed.  The end may be productivity at work, or it may even be a satisfaction of the liar's need to dominate and control.  It may be that the liar needs you to be the recipient of insult, affirming the "self esteem" of the liar by subordinating you.

This may be your lot in life, or, that is, the "crook in your lot" in life, as we all have them.

Is there any good news in all of this?


Yet it is that few care to hear what gold can await those who exercise patience with the liar.  It is not gold for the liar I speak of, but of you, the recipient of the prisoner's projection upon you.

I take from another here, as I stand upon the shoulders of others, mine own being in debt to others:

Patiently grow under the liar, with quietness of heart, knowing that you will not change him or her:  you will change within.

I attempted to explain this to my son, Sean, this morning.  I said:

"Pretend that you have a Little League coach who lies about you.  He says that he has to play his son over you because you were late to practice.  Then, he says that you cursed out a team mate, when you did not.  He slights you often, so that he can put his son into the game, though you belong there ahead of him."

This is a tough scenario for a 12 year old boy.  I continued:

"Son, consider that this coach is a special person in your life, gift wrapped just for you, to bring you such maturity that you did not dream yourself possible.  Consider that this coach is just for you and that each insulting blow that lands upon you, is being used to make you stronger, better, and deeper than possible through any other means.  Consider that each time you silently suffer, and I allow you to bear it, you are becoming a man. One day, you will find yourself so much stronger, and look back, and be thankful for this vicious and low minded coach.  Even while other parents are having fits and protests, your father is silently watching you embrace sanctified disappointments, and will be prepared for bigger and better things in life."

It was tough for him to follow this at age 12, so the best he was able to muster was, "I kinda understand, but I do trust you, Dad."

That's good enough for now.

The liar, if your supervisor, manager, or employer, is a "difficult taskmaster."

Be patient, however.  Continue to produce good work.  Don't get personal revenge and don't, please, just don't, point out the lies.  If you think your life is difficult, try pointing out how the liar's language gives him away, and you'll long for the day when you suffered in silence.

Continue to produce.

Some of the best in this world are those who have embraced the most difficult of lessons from the most harsh of instructors.

Your keen eyesight has come with a price to pay, as you hear the deception and the sadness that deception breeds.  Be silent, make note, and bear up well.  It will not last forever.  Come vent here, if it helps, even doing so anonymously.  There are those who will understand.  We'll be friends, even though you're always politically wrong, and I am always politically right. Or, even if we're not friends, you'll be able to laugh at the folly of politics and liars, with others, together, chuckling with that "knowing glance" that is understood.

"Peter's always wrong; that's what so right about him."  Heather.

You've heard that before.

See the personal prison of the liar, even when the liar appears to profit, and don't let your heart either envy, or become overwhelmed with the projected oppression that you are under.  Share here.

You'll be among those who understand.



Anon M said...

Wow Peter. you just wrote my life with my husband. He has those lying behaviors and suffers from the demons that you mention. We have a (nice) son who is nearly grown- as soon as my son leaves the house- I'm out of here. My 'liar' is exhausting... and just like you said, there is nothing you can do with them or for them. Life in our house is oppressing when he is home, and normal when he is gone. I just pray that this behavior has not affected our son too much. If you were to ask me my overriding emotion (after 20 yrs) for my husband- I feel sorry for him. He will have lived his whole life without ever being close to anyone. I asked my son with whom I have a pretty open relationship when he noticed the 'lying'. He said about 12, same age as your son. I also tell my son to learn from the things he doesn't like in our house, so that he does not repeat those behaviors and ruin his future. My son is emotionally smart for his age- he once came home from school with a list of 'abusive relationship behaviors' from his health class. He points out "Mom"- "Dad has almost all of these behaviors."

I believe that several behaviors we study here are related. Lying. emotional and physical abuse, disrespect of others, exaggerated stories, excessive bragging, taking credit for things, blaming others for things, depression, passive aggressive anger, feeling that you are smarter than others, feeling you have to get the best for yourself, pretending. Also, these are basically the traits of both compensatory and classic narcissism. I believe it has roots in childhood.

BTW- you always read that the other person in such a relationship is also a 'mess'. I feel like I'm a very normal person- ( although taking you up on the anon signature) :)

Anon M said...

Oh I left out another very noticeable trait- projection.

Buckley said...

Excellent post! Thank you for this place and the time you put into making it such a great workshop in which to learn.

Anonymous said...

A quote for chuckles:
I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Sus said...

Wow, just wow! Thank you, Peter.
And I'll proudly sign my name as a Democrat...who has only once cast a vote for a Republican. He later went Independent. I think that makes me right...right?

Statement Analysis Blog said...


I'm never right; you can't ask me!


Anonymous said...

Peter: What do you make of this article? it really shook me up:

Anonymous said...

The statement about a liar not getting rest reminded me of something someone said in response to another having problems sleeping:
Guess that's what a guilty consience does.

Some people naturally do not sleep well. Guilty or not. Liar or not.

The only reason I sleep well is ...I don't really know. Hard of hearing?

getthem said...

I really liked this post. It's useful to that part of me that wonders what makes people tick. The part of me that can't help but question "why this, why that, how come." While everyone lies to a degree, some people are truly sick.

Deejay said...

Hopefully this will be a broader discussion than politics... These liars are probably 5-10 percent of the people you meet every day.

Anonymous said...

In every day life, who is or who isn't a liar is only a matter of opinion. Just like with this article... "a liar is someone who does x, y and z"... uh, okay... or, maybe not? Says who? You?

And, Peter, it's easy to be right all the time on your own blog.

And speaking of lying liars - who is Seamus O’Riley?

Anonymous said...

My husband sometimes says whatever he thinks I want to hear, to shut me down. So I will stop questioning him about something. Is that lying? Or emotional abuse? I don't think he makes up lies. He's just looking for an easy way to end the conversation.

Kellie said...


This post touched my heart. I am among those you speak of who has been harassed into more clarity and integrity by "A fabricator of reality" very close to me. I say harassed because it makes me laugh and that's one skill someone having to deal with a liar-to-the-core on a regular basis MUST learn to do, laugh! Otherwise it will break your heart beyond repair.

I've learned that Truth is a force that always rises to the top when we are able to remain lovingly silent and let things steep until the kettle whistles!

Thank you for applying principle to my intuition! <3

Anonymous said...

Wow, thank you for this post!

I found SA while following a certain case, but I've been coming back for years now.

It's sad when you have to come to terms with realizing that someone close to you is a compulsive liar. With a certain person close to me, I've just resigned myself to the fact that this person is a liar. I don't question their lies. They are so obvious to me now. I just pretend that I believe them. They probably think they've pulled one over on me on many occasion, but actually, I know the truth.

Thank you for this post, and thank you for this site.

Anonymous said...

Things that bother me:
When did lying by politicians start to be called "misspoke" by journalists?
How does Harry Reid get away with the lies he makes?
Does Nancy Pelosi believe the things she says or is she so used to lying that it is just natural to her?
Do the liberals who surround our president have such contempt for "flyover country" inhabitants and those of the conservative bent that they feel righteous about lying, destroying computers, hiding or destroying material requested by congressional committees because they, after all, have the right answers and it's okay to lie to us because we need to be coerced or nudged into their POV?
Does Obama really believe that Republicans are disloyal to our country because we don't agree with him?

softeon said...

There is no exist from the truth!

Randie said...

Peter, would you do an analysis on these quotes?

1. "The Hernandez family expresses their deepest thanks to the community, law enforcement and media for their continued support. The extent of our gratitude can hardly be expressed in words and we are beyond overjoyed about Abby's return.
The last few days have been extremely busy while law enforcement and medical concerns have had to be addressed. We are working in full support of law enforcement's efforts to help the ongoing investigation.
Right now, Abby is resting, extremely tired and in deteriorated health, and has lost a lot of weight. She is working to build her strength back and we hope soon she will be back on solid foods.
We appreciate people's vigilance as they share the sketch photo that law enforcement has distributed and we hope that very soon this long, long ordeal can come to some closure.
At this time we are trying to focus on the peace and joy of the moment of Abby's return."

2. "We talked with Abby,” he said. “She is extremely thankful to God, to her community and to everyone who searched for her and she appreciates all of the positive support she has continued to receive.”

3. "Abby is very thin and weak,” she said. “We continue to work towards getting her to eat. Abby has shown incredible courage thru this. She is beyond grateful to be home and is just relaxing, resting, trying to get her health back. Abby is forever thankful to everyone who offered help, support and prayers. I am incredibly proud of Abby for everything she has and continues to overcome in this ordeal.”

John Mc Gowan said...

An excellent article again Peter.

Peter, have you considered writing a book on SA?. I have read a few books on SA, including both Mark McClish's, "I Know You are Lying", and "Don't Be Deceived". I have also read The Reid Technique, and The secret Life Of Pronouns" by James W Pennebaker, although the latter mainly deals mostly with pronouns etc.

Your teachings, which you credit to Avinoam Sapir, or as you say the Grandfather of Statement Analysis, never cease to amaze me.

What you teach here, goes way beyond the books i have read, and, i am sure all your avid followers, myself included, would echo that. I for one, respect and admire your knowledge of which pass on, even though you have a family life and a very busy working schedule. You still find the time to continue to share with us the fascinating science of Statement Analysis.

Listening to the News, reading about news both true and deceptive, "not" to mention (Anything said in the negative, lol) close family and friends, has opened up a whole new world on the language they use, including checking the language i use myself. As you can see in the brackets above :-).

Once again, Thank You.

Anonymous said...

The first anon sounded like the anon whose mother put ajax on the bath soap. Just because she left her door unlocked for her children to return at their desired time.

Anonymous said...

it was probably a good thing they didn't have pony rides for her birthday.
was that your daughter?

Anonymous said...

Peter,This is another great study. I have a whole different outlook on those that lie. I would never have imagined they suffered in any way. I must say I do hope those like Casey Anthony,her family,and all others who have killed anyone,especially innocent children and not as yet been charged,or gotten away with it,suffer greatly. That sounds terrible,but as a Christian I know the only way to not suffer is in true repentance. That's certainly why I'm offended when ever a liar brings up God.

Kit said...

War of Northern Aggression? Huh?

Anonymous said...

Please tell us the conclusion worth chuckling for Jamie's party!

"You all may have a chuckle to learn the conclusion of the matter."


MemphisPat said...

Peter, thanks for a big ah-ha moment as I more clearly understand a 100% dishonest father. At age 15 (almost 50 years ago), I stood in my room and declared that I would never marry anyone like him. I thank God that I didn't because he had a liar's heart and, therefore, no goodness within. Your article describes him to a T. I've also worked with two people like him through the years and, thankfully, outlasted both at two different companies. I did not "rat" on them, though tempted. They were exposed, though mostly after they departed. Thanks for all the truth written here. I am stronger because of withstanding all their sleaziness.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or is this man's phrasing odd? I'm not suggesting he did it. I am suggesting that perhaps their marriage was strained..

trustmeigetit said...


What difference is there for saying "I am innocent" if the person was convicted and in prison vs saying that with out a conviction.

Saw a story about a guy wrongfully convicted that spent 18 years in jail. Gang members had confessed to the murder so I know he is innocent.

But when he said it, it made me wonder a bit

trustmeigetit said...


What difference is there for saying "I am innocent" if the person was convicted and in prison vs saying that with out a conviction.

Saw a story about a guy wrongfully convicted that spent 18 years in jail. Gang members had confessed to the murder so I know he is innocent.

But when he said it, it made me wonder a bit

Anonymous said...

I contemplated writing this post yesterday. I struggle with it this morning.
I think I know THE LIAR that Peter speaks of.
I suspect I've dealt with one for the last 14 years. What bothers me is this- the people who know her, family and friends alike, underestimate her potential to ruin lives. They scoff when I say to them that she is dangerous.

Anyone who is willing to twist truths in order to isolate certain family members and punish others is not an honest person.
Anyone who is willing to ask for an accomplice in their lying schemes is not an honest person.
Anyone who is willing to cheat on their spouse is not an honest person.
Anyone who is willing to punish children because said children told a truth that conflicted with the liars story is not an honest person.
Anyone who is willing to file a false police report is not an honest person.
Anyone who is willing to verbalize a fantasy in which they kill an entire family (children included)is not an honest person.

The above is part of my thought process when the liar tries sneak her way back in. I haven't spoken to her in a year or better. She's like a cancer: She had to be cut out. There are other "big" things she has lied about, but I'm not comfortable with listing them on the internet.
To be frank, I'm afraid if I tell too many people/too much detail she will kill one or all of us.

Statement Analysis Blog said...

"I am innocent" is often used by both the guilty and the innocent, therefore, it is not reliable.

Don't conclude deception when you hear it.

If someone says, "I didn't kill John. I am innocent" it is strong.

Often, the guilty will avoid the "I didn't do it" part, and jump to "innocent."


Anonymous said...

Up to the killing part I thought for sure you were speaking of my mil! But that goes too far and i would be considering a protective order at that point.

Anonymous said...


Your struggle wasn't a large stretch. Your "killer" in the family 'is willing' to do almost anything. However, what has she done? Other than lie?

To be frank?

That was no struggle!

Perhaps it's time to latch onto another family.

S + K Mum said...

It is rather a sad post but interesting.
My experience is of someone who lies about how bad a parent they were. This person will never accept they were and chooses to gloss over it...... This is sad because not only is it 'someone elses fault' they now have no relationship with grandchildren etc. To lose this over losing face shows how a liar will go all out to protect themselves. I try to feel sorry for this person but I struggle, although now I have accepted that it will never be sorted out.

Buckley said...

OT- Abigail Hernandez

Mom of Abigail Hernandez, teen missing 9 months: ‘She did not run away’
Scott StumpTODAY contributor
49 minutes ago

The return of a 15-year-old New Hampshire girl who had been missing for nine months has brought more questions than answers and left her mother determined to find out who was responsible.

On July 21, Abigail Hernandez walked into her family's home, more than nine months after having vanished from outside her high school in Conway, New Hampshire, on Oct. 9. Police are now looking for a man connected with her disappearance, and the New Hampshire Office of the Attorney General has released a sketch of the man from a description provided by Abigail.


Video: Abigail Hernandez’s mother: ‘She did not run away’

"I feel like they just took and ripped something out of our souls,'' Abigail's mother, Zenya Hernandez, told TODAY's Natalie Morales in an exclusive interview. "And just as I swore that I'd find her, I'll find the person. I'll find out what happened."

Police have questioned Abigail and Zenya consistently since her return but could not share extensive details about what may have happened to Abigail during her disappearance due to the ongoing investigation. Zenya is speaking out in order to dispel rumors about what may have happened to her daughter during her time away.

Uncredited / Associated Press
Abigail Hernandez went missing last October.
"The majority of people somehow believe that she was pregnant,'' Zenya said. "She was not. She did not run away. I firmly believe that. As for her knowing the individual, I firmly believe that she did not know the individual."

"Law enforcement officers must now obtain satisfactory answers to the questions surrounding the facts and circumstances of Abigail's disappearance and nine-month absence,'' New Hampshire attorney general Joseph Foster said in a statement to TODAY.

When Abigail returned home wearing what investigators believe are the same clothes she was wearing on the day she disappeared, her mother was shocked by her physical appearance.

"She was very thin,'' her mother said. "She lost a lot of weight, very pale. She had a look in her eyes I've never ever seen before, and that's something that's haunting me and I think will haunt me the rest of my life."

Both were overwhelmed with emotion after Abigail's return.

"It's a lot,'' Zenya said. "We're just taking it day by day. We just stood and looked at each other and then we hugged, and then I said, 'Thank God you're home, thank God you're home.'''

Family members searched tirelessly for her after disappearance, making public pleas for help and creating the website Bring Abby Home, which released a statement on behalf of the family when she returned.

"My gratitude is beyond words,'' Abigail said in a statement. "It's an incredible feeling to be home and I believe in my heart that your hopes and prayers played a major role in my release."

Follow writer Scott Stump on Twitter and Google+.

Anonymous said...

Rose said...

Thank you please analyze the Hernandez interview. I spotted several red flags in that short little clip. Mom keeps calling the MAN who "abducted" Abby an "individual".

They know it is a man - they even have a sketch of him and everything.

Rose said...

"I firmly believe that she did not know the individual"

Two massive red flags in one short sentence.

When are the lies in this case going to stop?

Buckley said...

"Individual" is one word ("perpetrator" and "person" are others) LE uses. Is it possible she is reflecting that language (as LE likely coached her on her statement)?

I agree "firmly" shows sensitivity and that she leaves possibility that Abby knew someone involved, but it's sensitivity about her certainty, I'd hardly call it outright deception. Is "firmly" believe all that different from "massive" red flag?


"Our biggest challenge is we're dealing with incomplete information," Kieran Ramsey, assistant special agent in charge of the Boston Division of the FBI, said. "The victim in this case is a 15-year-old girl. It's not as cut and dried as people think that somebody can exactly recount what happened, when, and where."
Ramsey went on to say that there have been unusual aspects of the case throughout investigation. Two months after Abigail's disappearance, her mother Zenya received a letter from her daughter, the contents of which were not released.
"Early on, there were solid indications of an abduction," Ramsey said. "A 14-year-old girl goes missing. Her social media and phone activity goes dark. No one sees or hears from her. Then, at some point, we get that letter to her mom. That's very unusual. Then you fast-forward, and nine months later, she reappears."

Sus said...

I am so happy that Abby Hernandez is home. This is what we pray for in missing persons cases. I hesitate to say anything beyond this as Abby is a minor. But I want to address her mother's interview.

It looks like everything Zenya H. says is sensitive because it is in answer to the first statement she makes...that the majority of people believe Abby was pregnant and ran away. Zenya gives solid denials, then softens them with "firmly believe." To me this only means she is aware others do not believe. There's where the sensitivity comes in.

Abby uses the word "release" in her statement. She was held against her will.

Ramsey's statement is of interest to me. Everything about Abby's disappearance screamed abduction UNTIL THE LETTER. That has always bothered me. What kidnapper thinks to get people off their trail by setting it up as a run-away? There must have been a purpose in taking her, or the kidnapper was experienced. Keeping her clothes to return in is also telling.

Anonymous said...

Just came across this old interview - it screamed SA red flags to me. anybody want to give it a quick SA read? agree or disagree?

- if so, thank you.

In a pre recorded interview with CBS's 60 Minutes, President Obama answered questions on why he had chosen not to release graphic images of Osama Bin Laden.
STEVE KROFT: Did you see the pictures?
KROFT: What was your reaction when you saw them?
OBAMA: It was him.
KROFT: Why haven't you released them?
OBAMA: You know, we discussed this internally. Keep in mind that we are absolutely certain this was him. We've done DNA sampling and testing. And so there is no doubt that we killed Osama Bin Laden. It is important for us to make sure that very graphic photos of somebody who was shot in the head are not floating around as an incitement to additional violence. As a propaganda tool. You know, that's not who we are.
You know, we don't trot out this stuff as trophies. You know, the fact of the matter is this was somebody who was deserving of the justice that he received. And I think-- Americans and people around the world are glad that he's gone. But we don't need to spike the football. And I think that given the graphic nature of these photos, it would create some national security risk. And I've discussed this with Bob Gates and Hillary Clinton and my intelligence teams and they all agree.
KROFT: There are people in Pakistan, for example, who say, "Look, this is all a lie. Obama, this is another American trick. Osama's not dead."
OBAMA: You know, the truth is that and we - we're monitoring worldwide reaction. There's no doubt that Bin Laden is dead. Certainly there's no doubt among Al Qaeda members that he is dead. And so we don't think that a photograph in and of itself is going to make any difference. There are going be some folks who deny it. The fact of the matter is, you will not see bin Laden walking on this Earth again.

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TxTchr said...

Peter you've just described two boys I've taught over the past 3 years. One of them was such a pathological liar that he lied even when he was outright witnessed. These boys were 11yo. The parents were in denial and exhausted to the point of being useless when I asked for support from home. One of the moms didn't even know what to do with her son. These are the scariest discipline problems to me.

Anonymous said...

"You weren’t too worried, you found someone else".
typical of a girl that went somewhere else on her own accord, but it didn't work out for her, but so as not to feel guilty, they try to put it on the guy.
i would expect, something like,
"i'm sure you thought i was dead and i didn't expect you to wait forever. and i have to get over this trauma before i can even think about a relationship. i am damaged goods now anyway and wouldn't expect you to want me anymore."

Sus said...

^^^^ What??

Buckley said...

Sus, Anon is referring to this: (asterisks mine)

James added: 'After she disappeared, he waited for her, we told him if he had the chance, he had to move on.

‘He only got with his new girlfriend a month ago. He is very confused and very scared. He wants to know if she is alright, but the worst thing Abby *could* say to him is, "You weren’t too worried, you found someone else".'
Because Abby spent so much time with Jimmy round at the Campbell’s house, the family were questioned by FBI agents as a matter of course when she first disappeared.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Peter: What do you make of this article? it really shook me up:

July 26, 2014 at 8:39 PM

I read that article too --- tho I've already shared my theory, this article seems to support it ..

GeekRad said...

Yes, there is definately something off in the Hernandez statements. "I firmly believe" is big red flag.

Anonymous said...

My mom was a huge liar and used us to back up her lies. She lied about money she spent, where we went, who we saw. It was always, "dont tell daddy..." or "if daddy asks say we...." my mom said it took a long time to break the habit. She said it was so powerful over her. This was many years ago but she admits it hurt my parents marriage and took years to heal. For me, it made me hide everything i did as i grew up and became an adult. I lied about where i went, what i did but to anyone. Then, embarressed for being labeled a sneaky person, a liar, untrustworthy, i changed to getting enraged if i was asked where i was or something like that. I couldve been at home reading but i felt i was being pushed to lie cause not answering wasnt sufficient. Yes, i was dumped cold. More than once. It was awful. This may sound strange but this blog has made me understand what true honesty is. It is a standard i am aware of and have to diligently remind myself to hold myself to. Not often but more than once a lie was just flew out and my belly gets sick and I will say, that is not true. I dont know why i said that. Because understanding what real honesty is makes lying now just way to uncomfortable. I have peter to thank too. Im so afraid of statement analysis lying is like being naked and exposed in the worst way. People who grew up with honesty taught i envy you. For me it is a standard i work to live up to and maintain.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 8:15-
She did all of the things I listed and more. Her willingness to do any of it is scary.
Don't you get it? If I tell too much on here, she'll know who I'm talking about, and that it was me who told.
PS-I'm not latched onto any family.

Sus said...

Thank you, Buckley. So that statement was made by the boyfriend's father. It is supposedly what the boyfriend is worried about.

The boyfriend's father sure seems invested in his son's relationships. And the kids are only 14/15 years old.

To anon 1:57: I cannot believe that you "expect" a young girl to feel like damaged goods and expect her boyfriend not to want her any longer. That is what Zenya is protecting Abby from. Furthermore, I am glad she is not answering the Neanderthal's (James Campbell) texts.

Anonymous said...

I think her talking of the suspect who kidnapped Abigail came off as sensitive because they knew who did it. Glad someone has been arrested!

Anonymous said...

now here's a guy who looks like a fake composite sketch. huh. like a cartoon.

Anonymous said...

And arrest has been.made in the Abigail Hernandez case. I don't have ths link but it's on the daily mail.

Anonymous said...

My mom too was a lair. Even now in her 60s she still is. My mom did it more to get attention.
Usually it was something horrible that happened to her.
Her biggest lie was about being raped.
To this day, I can remember the night she claimed it happened.
I had slept over at a friends house that night. We moved a few months later so it was the first and only time.
Since it was not planned, my mom had to bring me my pjs and sleeping bag and it took forever and I was mad as I was the last kid to get into her pjs.
Then the next day she picked me up. I recall it very well since my mom is a talker and I remember telling my friend that my mom could talk for hours and we would have plenty more time to play. I was right.

Then we went home. That was it.
So I remember everything that night and the next day.
So her “version” is that she was raped the night before and when she didn’t bring my pjs her parents just had me borrow some and figured my mom had decided to go out for the evening. .
Then she says that they (she claims there were THREE men) beat her so bad she was unconscious. Then she said that when she never arrived to pick me up the next day my friends dad finally went to our home and found her passed out in a “pool of blood”. She always was dramatic.

She then told me that she was then in the hospital for weeks.
Now…. Who cares that I had a step dad that lived with us. When I asked her about that, she said they had fought and he stated at a hotel that night.
We also had cream colored carpet and no blood stains. But ok.
And I am pretty sure I would remember my mom being in the hospital for weeks. I was 11. It’s not like I was 4.

When I told her that I remembered that day and I don’t remember her version, she told me that I must have “blocked it out”.
So what did I block out exactly? I guess I not only blocked it out, but invented a whole new memory.

Anyways, to this day she tells people her horrible nightmare story. It kills me every time.

She later divorced her husband who she was married to at the time. He says it never happened.
She also never told her brother (yet we were always with his family back then) and if she was in the hospital they would have known.
She doesn’t speak to them but I started to when I was an adult and said they first learned about the “rape” about 2 months later when she mentioned it causally like it was something minor. When they both freaked and started asking questions she was so vague and refused to say much more other than “oh, didn’t I tell you about that” that they started to wonder if it was the truth.
They later accused her of lying and she was so angry and started her “how dare you call me a liar” BS that she stopped speaking to them. It’s been over 20 years now.
She has pretty much disowned most of her family because they called her out on a lie.
She really only speaks to me and that is off and on as I have called her out on lies as well.

Yet with all of this, she still blames everyone else.
Its kinda crazy.

But I because of her, I don’t lie… Well, I tell white lies sometimes. But I don’t do big lies or make up stories. . As a child it was so frustrating I promised myself I would be different and I am.
I told one big lie in my life and it caused me so much stress I couldn’t sleep and had nightmares. I was actually relieved at the time the truth came out because I felt instant relief.
The life my mom lives baffles me. I do not understand how she can sleep at night.

Anonymous said...

Arrest in Hernandez case

Kit said...

Lighten up. Red flags are just that--something to notice, not proof of deception. Statement Analysis is a tool not a magic wand.

Kit said...

Really, tell us more about what is typical behavior in a case like this. Silly me, I thought this case became national news because it's so unusual. But you go ahead and cast aspersions on this traumatized minor. And because you have so much moral rectitude, be sure to do it anonymously.

nolachurch said...

Great post!! I came here for a case about a year ago and became instantly a fan & regular reader. I feel like I already had an aware eye for deception but needed principles, structure,a deception 101 outline, if you will.. thanks for all the articles Peter! This is a major interest to me and I appreciate your knowledge on this subject & a place to go to analyze all the topics you cover!

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's pretty heavy not to speak to family for 20 years for calling a spade a spade. I also find it interesting it was 3 men. The way people lie doesn't change. I wonder if Peter knows if deception is basically the same everywhere. Maybe in Australia its the number 5 , instead of 3. Lol... I don't think I've ever told anyone this and don't really know why I spilled the beans here. I'm sorry your mom is still in that prison as Peter called it. Its an accurate way to describe habitual liars. As time passes the more my eyes are opened, SA showed me how stupid I looked lying. There is ALWAYS someone that sees through the lies.
And my whacky parents, the openly share how nuts they were and credit their faith for changing them. The reformed liar was just honored for the work she does helping rescued victims of sex trafficking here in las Vegas, collecting clothing donations, helping em get home or get emergency housing, being supportive and connecting em to their victims advocate, she will help anyway she can. I asked her why sex trafficking and she said because she wants them to know they are worth helping . My dad the reformed bar brawler is now asst chaplain teaching classes and having services at LAS VEGAS COUNTY JAIL. sometimes I have to chuckle cause their lives are unbelievable lol

Anonymous said...

Under what circumstances would you recommend cutting off contact with a liar? What if all of your family members are liars?

Anonymous said...

Anon who commented on July 28, 2014 at 3:03 PM:

I very much can relate with you. Peter's site has taught me so much about myself. I am very aware of the words that come out of my mouth, and I too feel sick when a lie comes out, the guilt is ridiculous, but I'm glad I now feel it! I primarily lied because I wanted to be interesting to others. I wanted attention. I fed my inner monster for most of my younger years lying, not realize it was making the monster bigger. I too envy those that are naturally honest souls. They are my favorites type.


ME said...

Ive "favourites"your blog peter,and ALSO this"topic"its as if ive been on a "course"lol Thank you from Liverpool England :) ps hi "john" :)

Anonymous said...

Hello Peter:

I appreciate this article. I have a close relative who habitually lies, projects and manipulates. Her behavior has caused many family problems and now is affecting my daughter and her family.

I do appreciate your wisdom - your conversation with your son reminds me of Solomon’s instructions to his son in the book of Proverbs. I see the value in suffering silently and I have done this for a long time. My grown children have also learned to bear up under her insults and poor behavior. Now, her negative influence is affecting my grandchildren (she has lied to and manipulated my granddaughter and daughter).

Is there a point at which enough is enough and it is better to confront and live with the consequences than to risk further damage, especially where little ones are concerned?

Thank you,