Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Gov. Chris Christie In Maine
With enough training and subsequent practice, training will pick up not only small indicators of sensitivity, but eventually, the listener will be "counting words" in his head; that is, noting short sentences (more likely to be truthful) versus long sentences (listening for qualifiers and passivity), as well as the easiest and most direct form of listening:
Pronouns take responsibility, ownership, and indicate level of closeness or distance.
Last night, I attended a dinner for Gov. LePage (Maine) and had the chance to speak with Gov. Chris Christie, who was the guest speaker.
Others employ it when a politician of their own liking is seen in a fabrication.
There are various reasons why one lies:
Grandiose Liar, which we recently covered, is rare, whereas self-preservation and fear of consequence are far more likely to be deceptive, but in answers to questions, rather than in an open statement.
A direct lie, that is, a fabrication of reality, is rare. Most people lie (90%) via withholding information.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky" from President Clinton, is a truthful statement.
It has the pronoun, "I"
It has the past tense verb, "did not"
It accurately addresses the allegation of "sexual relations."
Everyone of us has a personal, internal, subjective dictionary. The two exceptions to this in language are:
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky" is now viewed with emphasis and principle explained.
The word "with" when found between people, indicates distance.
"Heather and I went shopping"is one way of saying it, while
"I went shopping with Heather" shows distance (I didn't want to be shopping)
The pronoun "I" and "Ms. Lewinsky" are as far apart as possible in the sentence, which shows the distance in reality.
What of the principle of the Personal, Internal, Subjective Dictionary?
In trainings, I often choose a single word and ask the audience what comes to mind. When I say "boy", the answers range from:
A new born, hours old, up to a 21 year old male soldier, and everything in between. This is why follow up questions are needed for clarification. In Statement Analysis, we do not interpret; we listen.
Here is a new word for this test:
I just picked a dozen tiny tomatoes from our garden yesterday, and eat them like a snack. The night before yesterday, Christina and I watched the movie, "Marty" which, if you have not seen it, you're missing a treat. "Marty" is an overweight, disillusioned Brooklyn Italian-American butcher who has reached the point in life where he says, "Whatever it is that women want, Ma, I ain't got" and that he was "tired of getting hurt" with rejection. His performance, based upon his facial expressions alone, is special.
His mother said that his brother in law told her to tell Marty to go to a dance "There's lots of tomatoes there."
My father was a World War II veteran, who fought in the Pacific, as a signalman. This was his era and as a boy, I had heard the expression, "tomato" for pretty young woman.
President Clinton later explained that his belief (his personal, internal, subjective dictionary) of
"sexual relations" is intercourse. In fact, he would likely pass a polygraph had he been asked "Did you have sexual relations...? This is why polygraphers must be trained to enter into the language of the subject and why "Did you steal...?" (morally charged) may lead to false passings, while, "Did you take...?" (morally neutral) would show accuracy.
Politicians often do not lie outright, but via withholding information. It comes down to personality. One who invents reality "While I was serving in Viet Nam" (having never step foot in that country) lies pathologically, that is, from childhood.
President Clinton knew it was technically true, but deceptive. Later, when seen with a black eye, he said that he enjoyed "roughhousing" with Chelsea. He did not say that Chelsea gave him the black eye.
I think that Hillary simply did not share President Clinton's personal, internal, subjective dictionary, even though many married couples do enter into each other's language.
Unless a politician is seen as a habitual or pathological liar (often seen in unnecessary lies), the voter should pay careful attention to his words.
I listened carefully as Gov. Chris Christie spoke of his personal friendship with Gov. Paul LePage.
Was it genuine?
In speaking for approximately 40 minutes without notes, it is fair to say that after the first few lines, he entered the Free Editing Process (FEP) in which he was now freely choosing his own words. This allows for us to know the truth.
I had several observations.
1. He spoke at length, but used short sentences. Statistically, this is associated with truth.
2. Pronouns do not lie.
Pronouns are instinctive. Pronouns have been used by us millions of times. We are 100% adept at choosing the right pronoun. We do not need to pause to think.
The word "we" indicates unity and cooperation. In rape claims, if the pronoun "we" enters the alleged victim's language concerning the alleged assailant, after the rape, it is a signal that police must consider the possibility of lying. This principle, alone, has saved some from false accusations.
I noted the use of the pronoun "we" when he spoke of Mrs. LePage and his own wife, as well as the use of it regarding himself and "Paul" which leads to another point:
After the appropriate introduction "Gov Paul LePage", he shortened it to three things:
Heather and I noted when the Gov was "The Gov" and when he was "LePage" and when he was only "Paul" (see teaching on Social Introductions for more information on how this relates to the quality of relationships).
He was "Gov" often when voting was mentioned and he was "LePage" only a few times, specifically when he said, "LePage and I disagree..."
He was, often with reference to both wives, "Paul."
The use of names, as well as possessive pronoun, "my" indicate genuine closeness.
He spoke about "voting with the heart" as many people do not understand issues, and, he said, if we have learned anything, over the past six years, is that how we vote, and who we choose, really does make a difference.
I think this is something people of all parties would now, after seeing the rule of law in our country trampled upon, and our international standing diminished, that we need someone who loves this country, and does not seek to destroy it.
His short speech touched me, in particular, that our freedoms, many of which are now vapor, must be fought to be regained, especially freedom of speech.