by Peter Hyatt
I've said it before, and it bears repetition: You do not have to "out" a liar.
"Be as wise as a serpent, but as gentle as a dove."
You read here because you enjoy seeing the truth exposed within news stories. A profile emerges, in an almost composite like manner of readers, via their comments, yet even the interest, of having landed here, perhaps due to a specific story, but to remain, speaks volumes.
I recognize that there are some who land here due to a specific case, and do not stay as a regular reader, or commentator. Having an interesting experience in a case, it is likely that some will see a news story and wonder if it is being covered here. These are the casual readers.
Then there are those who were so impressed in a specific story, that they remained, and went on to not only donate comments but ask questions.
Then there are those who have gone even further; comments, questions, but also an investment of self: wanting to learn principle.
These are those who often give various links of stories they wish to be covered, which has become so valuable, that rather than "Drudge Report" as my first stop for news stories in the morning, I go specifically to a page that shows me all the comments left, no matter which article or post they are under.
It is impossible to cover all the stories, which makes transcription all the more valuable.
Some readers have become disappointed to learn that by simply watching a video of someone scratching their nose in an interview doesn't yield exacting answers, while others have embraced that discerning deception is not magical, nor a type of wizardry, but hard work. The "Lie to Me" mania, which produced "experts" everywhere, akin to 'psychics', has subsided.
What is left is hard work.
For those who have learned, their lives have changed. They likely have found, as do most, that they will never again listen to people speak in the way they used to.
Wisdom, however, is justified by her children.
I have been in various negotiations of sorts where large amounts of money was being discussed. Later asked, "How did you know?", I responded with the simple answer:
"I counted how many times she repeated herself while you were out of the room. It was four times."
This information put me at a distinct advantage.
"So, why didn't you say anything?"
I write this for those of you who have learned much, and have sharpened your skill, exponentially, over the years, by using the internet. The internet is an amazing advancement of technology that has caused communication to disseminate in ways that have baffled us all not named Al Gore. It has provided instant samples of which to apply the scientific process distilled by Avinoam Sapir of LSI (SCAN)
Rather than say anything, please consider the advantage you have when knowing that someone, particularly someone who is your superior in employment, and remain silent.
In other words, "Do not speak", which, in the negative, is very important.
Many of you have heard me say this on radio, and have read it here, but there is an another element I ask you to carefully consider.
"In a multitude of words, there wanteth not sin" is an ancient wisdom from another world. Liars, as we have seen repeatedly, are under a pressure to persuade, therefore, they use additional words which makes our job easier.
I ask you not only to not say anything unless absolutely necessary (and use the 24 Hour Rule: write your email, or prepare your statement, and then wait 24 hours to see if you still want to send it or say it) and then consider this:
It may be to your advantage to let no one know that you have any understanding of how to discern deception.
This may go against some of the trainings you may have attended, in person, over the past few years. I have issued training certificates for some of you to post ostentatiously in your office, or even outside your office where it is readily seen. We did this so that there would be, in particular, a restraining effect upon thieves in larger businesses where just the fear of being caught helps reduce shrinkage.
This is a judgement call of wisdom based upon context.
My advice on the above is for the individual who, should one reveal the lies of the supervisor, for example, may find himself or herself being bullied...bullied right out of a job.
Try to think long term.
Exposing a lie can actually be exciting, but you must consider that the excitement will fade, and resentment will increase, and over time, others may become less enamored with you, as they learn that you count words, for example, or listen to pronouns more than others.
Of course for honest people, this is often not something that causes concern.
Have you ever met someone who thinks everyone is lying?
I'm not speaking of jaded police officers who fail deception detection tests because they think everyone and everyone's mother is lying. I mean a civilian in business.
There may be reasons for this. Some businesses, such as high-line pre-owned car sales, have deception in seemingly every sentence.
Others may believe that everyone is lying because he or she has been horribly lied to and the emotional damage (and psychological damage) has left PTSD-like hyper vigilance in its wake. This happens and is more common than I used to think.
Yet I speak of one who thinks everyone is lying, everyone is out to get me, everyone is gaming the system simply due to projection.
This person, himself, is a liar from youth, and believes that everyone thinks the way he does.
Projection is natural. The lack of self awareness, however, is what causes the damage of projection. A self aware person can recognize this trait and work through it, and even overcome its damaging impact, but this also is rare.
Wisdom says to wait.
Wisdom says to limit your words.
Information is powerful.
Hold on to your gain, do not boast, but continue to work hard, practicing often, familiar with the language of humility, so that you can grow.
Consider carefully that when you discern deception, you are not only not obligated to enlighten others, it may be in your best interest not to.
George Washington did not like to give advice because, he said, it was rarely taken, and often led to bitterness.
This, however, is not personal, and via the internet, is able to be taken within varying personal contexts, applied appropriately, just as readily as it can be dismissed.
We hope to offer some audio lessons in Statement Analysis this Fall...thank you.
We are hoping to expand our Statement Analysis services to include audio files, transcription services, and online courses available via download.
If you would like to help: