Friday, October 3, 2014

Language and Personality Part 1: Adversative Words

   


               Language and Personality:  Adversative Words
                                                               by Peter Hyatt

"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks..."

How we speak reveals who we are.

A few years ago, a company capitalized on this fact claiming to help improve one's vocabulary, in order to make a better impression upon others.

Unfortunately, good vocabulary comes from reading and reading takes time and effort, and is not the 'past time', culturally, that it once was.  Reading to children, before they are able to read (or even speak), seems to help create a love of books, which whether it be in electronic or paper form, remains key to education and language growth.

A poor vocabulary leaves a poor impression.  We can complain that we should not be judged, all the day long if we wish, but people will continue to judge us, first on appearance, and then upon our language.

In the very least, we should consider that since we cannot stop others from judging us, we can influence that judgement.

Did you ever notice how people that are dressed a certain way have an easy time in stores when they are making returns?

It's true.

I've tried it, in both jeans and a t shirt, and in a suit.  It's always easier, even without question, while wearing a suit.

Language reveals us, and coarse or inappropriate language, for example, in a business setting, will leave an impact upon peers, customers, or our superiors, whether we like it or not.

As language reveals us, a personality trait may appear.  This is, in effect, a kind of profiling, that is, of collecting data (if only in our brains) about the type of person speaking to us, as we listen to his words.

I.  Personalty Type:   Impulsive Control

Have you ever met someone who is very impulsive?  This is the kind of person that often "leaps before he looks" and will jump in, both feet first, often with enthusiasm, but little pre-thought.  Where might this person fit in your company?

Impulsive individuals can be successful, for example, when the right fit is made, according to their personality type.  Some might do well in environments where aggressive sales is necessary, whereas other sales positions might be better suited for pensive, thoughtful, careful employees.

Personalty types do emerge from language.

In studying pronouns, we sometimes see that those in positions of authority, often drop the pronoun "I" in their memos, or emails, opting for either a missing pronoun, or the pronoun, "we", which can be, in some settings, distancing language.

But what of the impulsive type of personality that may even be aggressive, or disagreeable?

What of a subject who lacks impulse control?  Can he be identified in the employment interview?

In Statement Analysis, we have noted that the word "but" is often used to compare, via a form of negation, two or more things.  "I'd like to do that for you but..." and we say:  "Always note the words that follow "but" as very important."

This can negate that which preceded it, or it can minimize, via comparison.

What if your position requires someone who is thoughtful and pensive, and must use critical thinking but specifically, "look" before one "leaps" and make careful decisions?

Langauge can identify poor impulse control in people.

The "Adversative" words are:  "but, however, nevertheless..." and so on.

Subjects with poor impulse control are noted to use these words in abundance.

It is not likely that you counted the number of times you heard these words from someone, but I am betting that you have met someone like this, and you felt a certain uneasiness about the person, and wondered why.

You would likely not be surprised if later on you learned that the person you thought to be "difficult", even though you only spoke a short time, is actually one with poor impulse control, and the "adversative" words were 'getting to you' a bit.

These are often found in intuitive individuals who do very well with training in Statement Analysis and in Analytical Interviewing.  Studies have shown, even among hospitalized individuals with poor impulse control, an excessive use of such words.

II.  Personality Type:  Obsessive Compulsive

What about someone with Obsessive Compulsive tendencies?

Again, a person with obsessive compulsive traits can be very useful, particularly when placed within the proper work environment, just as they can drive others crazy when placed in inappropriate or ill-fitted situations.

The person with obsessive compulsive tendencies can become quite anxious when attempted to resolve himself to stopping the habit.  Many are "logical" to a fault, and must find a "reason" to repeat apparent senseless acts, such as hand washing, or checking and rechecking to see if the back door is locked. These types will often argue, even to himself, to justify or find a reason why the repetitive behavior is maintained.

What do we hear in their speech?

"So, since, therefore, because...." and so on.

They continually offer reasons for what they do in senseless repetition.  These are words we highlight as sensitive, if the subject is asked, "What?" rather than "Why?", while feeling the need to justify action.

In what may appear to be 'mind-blowing' tedious labor, can be actually fulfilling to the subject, which is why the manager or supervisor must not project his or her own personality into the subject, particularly while attempting to be empathetic.

The poor impulse subject has a need to "oppose" others, and act upon the first impulse (poor "over the board" chess players, yet better at "Blitz" chess).

Human Resources, skilled in interviewing, can, therefore, find proper placement for the prospective employee (if the subject has been truthful in the interview process, therefore, not weeded out) that will benefit both company and employee.

How can Human Resources accomplish this?

a.  open ended questions

b.  specific exercise


a.  open ended questions.

In Analytical Interviewing, we ask questions beginning with the legally sound, open-ended questions and move on to the analysis questions (from the written statement) and so on.  This is exciting in training and quite useful.  Even questions such as:

"What is your favorite movie?" will get someone speaking, with the goal to have the subject enter the "Free Editing Process", where he chooses his own words and we listen.

b.  The Ten Minute Exercise

This can be a lot of fun.

Using your stopwatch, timer, or your iPhone, ask someone to speak, non-stop, about anything they wish to talk about.

Both healthy and individuals with mental illness can do this for about 10 minutes without difficulty.  (Recently, someone did this to me, without stopping, for 48 minutes).

As the subject speaks, the Interviewer (HR, investigator, therapist) writes down the critical words and will be able to get a start on a profile of the subject by the words the subject uses.

The Interviewer is taught to write down adversative words (even in a number count!) as well as the "why" words, and note any words that are repeated.

It is not as difficult as it might sound, as the Interviewer becomes more experienced, since this is an exercise that can be practiced at work.  (Recall the counting of words that follow "no" in a "yes or no question" format, and how this can reveal deception.)

The interviewer will soon learn that based upon the words, alone, gender will arise.

Do you have young children?

Do you have grown children?

This is something you can even do with your children, noting how the younger the child, the more use of "I" versus "we" and, you may even discover, that when you view old video tapes of your children who are now grown:

they will be able to differentiate which voice belongs to them and...

speech patterns will show similarity to the adult child.

Next up:  How to spot a negative, problem bringer, in your employment interview.


13 comments:

john said...

OT Update:

Man seeks help from hunters to find wife

http://www.semissourian.com/story/2124420.html

john said...

OT

Gerry McCann Says Make Example Of Web Trolls

Madeleine McCann's father calls for more prosecutions after Sky News revealed details of a dossier of abuse targeting his family.


http://news.sky.com/story/1346687/gerry-mccann-says-make-example-of-web-trolls

tania cadogan said...

John, will he also demand the same for those who abuse those supporting Maddie and not him and wifey?

tania cadogan said...

He may well regret demanding this since the 'trolls' who have been the most vocal, including myself, use the official police files for reference along with all their verbal and written statements, not only from themselves, but alos from their spokesman and their family and tapas chums.

Anything we say regarding their involvement is based on verifiable facts, facts which i and many others are more than happy to bring up in open court aliong with questions as to why they are harrassing, defamatory etc and what exactly they meant when they referred to the portuguese not wanting a murder, them playing no part in Maddies death, and the classic kate wanting to press a button so they could ALL be togather.

This is backfiring badly on them as did the book by summers and swann which from the outset claimed there was no evidence implicating the mccanns. Robert Murat or the tapas 7 of involveemnt when the police files, forensic evidence all inducates otherwise.

Even the authors have whooshclucked their book from their facebook and sales are minimal if not miniscule.

The group that sent the files are allegedly JATYK2 who, rather than come up with logical reasoning as to why the parents are innocent, spend their time name calling and demeaning, disparaging any who use actual facts.

If they cannot respond with a well thought out reason, then name calling is the default fallback. :)

Jen Ow said...

Hi Hobs,

Isn't it funny how the guilty, like the McCann's and the Ramsey's just CAN NOT shut up and go away!

John Ramsey is still writing books, and seeking publicity nearly 20 years later, and Gerry and Kate stay in and out of court, suing and harassing anyone who dares point out their glaring guilt.

They refuse to go away and wallow in their own shame. Instead they spend all their time proactively campaigning for their cause, which is diverting the focus from their guilt.

Do they not see how bizarre their behavior is? How strange it is for them to focus on the trivial, while they would have us believe that they have a missing or murdered daughter! Shouldn't they be devoting ALL of the their energy to finding/bringing justice to their victimized child?

They kind of give a whole new meaning to, 'thou dost protest too much'.

tania cadogan said...

It sure does Jen Ow

tania cadogan said...

Off topic

It has been three years years since Baby Lisa was snatched from her crib in the middle of the night.

But parents Deborah Bradley and Jeremy Irwin still keep their baby daughter's room exactly how it looked the night she disappeared from their suburban home in Kansas City, Missouri.

'Her room is so full of toys you can hardly walk in there,' Deborah told The Kansas City Star.

Next month,Deborah and Jeremy will celebrate Lisa's fourth birthday with a cake and presents.

'It just gets harder,' Deborah, who also has two sons, told The Star. 'We try the best we can to function, to care for our boys and wait for her to come home.'

It has been three years years since Baby Lisa was snatched from her crib in the middle of the night.

But parents Deborah Bradley and Jeremy Irwin still keep their baby daughter's room exactly how it looked the night she disappeared from their suburban home in Kansas City, Missouri.

'Her room is so full of toys you can hardly walk in there,' Deborah told The Kansas City Star.

Next month,Deborah and Jeremy will celebrate Lisa's fourth birthday with a cake and presents.

'It just gets harder,' Deborah, who also has two sons, told The Star. 'We try the best we can to function, to care for our boys and wait for her to come home.'

But gradually, the tips slowed down to a trickle. Police received 100 tips in the last year.

The parents' attorney, John Picerno, said police are still re lacking 'substantial, concrete leads,' according to The Star.

But Bradley and Irwin are yet to give up.

'If you see something, please call the police,' Deborah told The Star. 'Keep your eyes open. It only takes one sighting to bring her home.'

The parents' nightmare began in the early hours of Oct. 4, 2011. News of Lisa’s abduction exploded into the small north Kansas neighborhood.

Officers hammered on neighbors’ doors, an Amber alert went out, posters were swiftly printed and a hotline set up. A handful of sightings went nowhere.

The couple became the subject of intense scrutiny. Deborah initially stated she had checked on baby Lisa around 10.40pm.

Later she wasn’t so certain that she had checked on the infant who was recovering from a cold and fever, after putting her down earlier than usual close to 6.30pm.

An electrician, Jeremy was working a night shift. He came home around 4am to a house in some disarray, several lights were on, the front door was unlocked and with a cold sense of foreboding he checked on Lisa to discover she was gone.

In the weeks that followed young mother Deborah was forced to admit to having fallen asleep drunk.

Posters of Lisa were tacked to the front of the family’s clapboard home. Fading kidnap appeal posters are still strapped to neighbors’ trees with yellow ribbon. A banner on the Irwin’s home reads: ‘This house needs Lisa to make it home again. Help bring Lisa home.’

A little pebble, bearing the word ‘Hope’ sits at the door.

Speaking to MailOnline last year, Jeremy said: 'Is it heartbreaking and depressing every single time you see it? Absolutely. But it’s not going anywhere soon until she comes home.'

tania cadogan said...


As a couple, Deborah and Jeremy try to maintain as much stability as possible for sons, Blake, 11, and Michael, 7. Blake is Jeremy’s son from a previous relationship and Michael is Deborah’s from her first marriage. Lisa is their only child together.

Over the weekend and on holidays Lisa’s older brothers help hand out fliers and buttons and bracelets. Sometimes, Deborah admitted, it is their strength that gives her the will to carry on.

She clutches Lisa’s favorite Barney toy in bed each night.

‘You have these moments when you just can’t believe that somebody stole your baby,' she told MailOnline in 2013.

Deborah’s one consolation is her belief that whoever took Lisa did not do so with the intention of harming her.

She added: ‘Nobody takes a baby to hurt them.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2779822/Search-Baby-Lisa-continues-three-years-10-month-old-girl-snatched-crib-middle-night.html

john said...

Peter,

Your Search engine is not working, for me anyway.?

Peter Hyatt said...

John,

you've been blocked from using the search engine.

It had to be done.

Peter

Sooty face said...

O/t straight after a topic is annoying,it ruins the"flow"of the topic,and shows no respect

john said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carnival Barker said...


Peter,

This article was one of the most fascinating that you've done! Such an interesting and useful read!