Monday, June 27, 2016

Not Without My Daughter by Terry Vaughan

Every so often I like to recommend a book that I believe readers of Statement Analysis will appreciate.  I have two books for summer reading to recommend today

1.  "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker, which I will address in a separate post.  My daughter Christina's dream is to be a criminal psychologist with the FBI and this book was recommended to her by a professional, knowing her age (16).  

2.  The book pictured, "Now With My Daughter" by Terry Vaugh.  It is a "Dad's guide to screening dates and boyfriends", as a loving father embraces a responsibility that culturally has all but disappeared.  

Who knows what's best?

A.  The 16 year old girl?

B.  The 40 year old father?

C.  The Political Elite 

If you believe Hollywood's versions of father-daughter relationships   the answer is A.

If you are able to discern through propaganda and narrative...

If you believe Washington, the answer is C  who will first determine if your daughter is really your daughter, and then cast derision upon fathers such as Terry for loving their daughters and impeding the folly that says, "follow your heart" which has led to more than a little heartache and heartbreak in reality.  This is the cry of the undiscerning who think laws will make good parents and elected officials know more than parents, and, in fact, there is no right and there is no wrong, unless you disagree.  The author takes his responsibility as a parent seriously.  Readers will enjoy his writing style.  

This is an enjoyable book and one that may be well out of step with culture, but so marvelously affirming to teenage girls who thrive on the love of a father.  

25 comments:

Andrea said...

Good for you Peter for being a caring and loving father and for embracing masculinity. Our society has become an absolute cesspool where many men no longer provide for, protect, or even guide their children when isnt that what men are supposed to do? And they feel NO guilt about not doing so.
As far as screening dates for your daughter, I think it's a great idea...plus I think a lot of jerky guys will run the other way just knowing your daughter has a father who cares.

Nic said...

Thanks for the recommendation, Peter.

We're a traditional family (I'm a full-time mom), and I deeply believe that both my teenage kids are more in need of my husband/their dad at this time in their life, than me. In my opinion, his involvement, physical presence/accessibility and the example he sets in their lives today is key to their healthy relations later on.


Statement Analysis Blog said...

Thanks, Andrea.

We are fortunate that with Christina, it is a bit 'different' and, perhaps, even more out of step with culture.

This Spring, a high school boy asked me if he could spend time with us, as a family, as he likes Christina very much. He is respectful, intelligent, kind...someone with a great future ahead of him.

At a family barbecue, he met Christina's 3 older brothers,which was likely as one could imagine, and did well. He held his own and the three brothers all like him. Christina is an auntie, so they spent time playing with her 3 year old nephew, and it was a great time.

They don't ask to go out "on dates" by themselves, which makes my life so much easier. Of course, either could get hurt, but by spending time with the families, the risks are minimized. This sort of thing only works when families are involved and in agreement. She has a group of friends from school where all do pretty much the same in regards to the dating world. A group went to the movies recently, and they had a great time.

I wish it was that way when I was a teen, but it wasn't.

Peter

Statement Analysis Blog said...

Nic,

I could not agree more.

I think it is, in some ways, the opposite at a younger age but by the time the teen years kick in....well, you get it and for the sake of others with precious young pre-teens, posting it gives hope.

Not everyone believes what the government now demands us to believe.

Hey Jude said...

Peter - heading - 'Not Without My Daughter', article 'Now with my Daughter' - book title, 'Not With My Daughter!'

Anonymous said...

Justin Timberlake Apologizes for an affirmative tweet of praise after being bombarded by complaints following a ridiculous speech by jesse williams during BET awards. Cultural appropriation? The most useless, vile, over rated & completely un needed industry in the history of the world. The entertainment industry.... The most corrupting influence theres ever existed.

rjb said...

I have recommended The Gift of Fear to many people, most of them young women. I am looking forward to reading your thoughts on it.

Unknown said...

Peter, it's so refreshing to read that you espouse family values. As a fellow Christian, I mourn the loss of innocence in our society, especially with the encouragement of early sexual behavior. Sometimes I wonder if that type of pressure is why so many young girls cut themselves and have eating disorders.

Your daughter sounds lovely, and I pray that she continues on her journey to making her wishes come true. :)

Anonymous said...

Not Without My Daughter is a book written by Betty Mahmoody and was adapted for film starring Sally Fields. Despite criticism for the way Mrs Mahmoody wrote of her Iranian / Muslim husband it was quite a successful book and movie back in the 90's.

Anonymous said...

OT and maybe way off base.This is about the Sandy Hook shooting case.
I had someone bring up the Sandy Hook case the other day but referred to it as a Hoax. The reason I have since learned many feel was to promote gun control
I remember when this was in the news and I even cried many times watching the news.
My initial thoughts were you are crazy, that totally happened. And I for sure do not mean any disrespect but…..
But being that I love things like this, immediately went into prove him wrong mode and well, I have failed to find anything concrete. NOTHING to prove this was right.
What I have found is more websites about the hoax than about the case.
Only a handful of actual photos despite the fact this was 2012 and there were smart phones
No videos outside of the one short clip the media replayed over and over of the same group of kids
Also, a lot of websites claim that school had been closed due to asbestos to name a few other issues and they later stated the school was demolished for asbestos after the tragedy
So then a few key things I have seen….

A video of one dad, with a full on smile and laughing right before he was ready to speak about his just murdered son. Link below.
https://youtu.be/cKWgCRBR5qE

Lots of videos of witnesses and Obam himself appearing to cry yet no tears. Obama even wipes away a fake tear. The kids storys on this video do not seem to show any fear or trauma. Also, many of the aerial shots of the school you can see massive cracks in the concrete (backing up the statements the school had been closed) and one thing that has been pointed out is the handicap spot at that point, was legally required to be painted blue yet was not. And a school of all places would need to be compliant. Just google this, there are tons of pics.
https://youtu.be/6X7cVDxYd6A

Then there are many pics of the Principal of the school that was killed and this same woman, and this exact same photo was shown on the news as a victim of the Boston bombing. Just google “sandy hook principal” and images and you can see many of these.
Then if you look at some of the “crime scene” pics, you do not find a single victim. But you do see pics that look like a school that was not in session.
Then one last video, the coroner makes several jokes while talking to the media about dead childrens bodies. It’s awful. And a few more parents speaking. ZERO tears. This link also shows pics that appear to be photo shopped.
https://youtu.be/TzibL8UN0vo

Then some of the hoax sites that allow comments, there are some that dispute it. Always stating that they knew someone that lost a child. Yet all are anonymous and provide no names or details. The ones on facebook never seem to live in the town anymore… They just used to…. One person responded to a facebook site about this and also addressed the claims the school was not even open during the year 2012 to which she said “I drove by that school several times. It was up and running with kids and everything. That was in 2012. When the site owner addressed that saying he had been to the location and because the school is back off the main road, there was no way she could have seen kids at the school. You can look on google maps, and while the school was torn down, its clear you would not see kids driving on the main road due to trees. Even when he addressed it she just tried to say he had never been there and doesn’t address the fact you cant see the school from the road. And this facebook person has a name that you can not tell if it’s a man or woman. They have no facebook friends and no photos that would identify who they are.
Anyone have any thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Re: Sandy Hook

Ya. I will add that the official newscasts/statements were contradictory at best and made no sense at worst.

I also read that someone, a mayor or governor or judge, issued a gag order so to restrain the public from talking about the incident. ??? Like, who has the authority to do tell citizens they can't talk about any incident we want to talk about?

I still can't sift the truth from the disinformation.

BOSTON LADY said...

Anonymous at 5:56 pm

Unfortunately it is extremely difficult to convince people who believe in conspiracies to see the truth. They will continue to find more and more 'what if's and but's. I belonged to a political group a few years ago and I gave up trying to convince with facts and truth. They just cannot accept it. There are people who believe 9/11 was staged. The list goes on.

As far as Obama shedding a tear, he's a phony and I've not seen a tear from him on most things.

BOSTON LADY said...

Peter, thank you for the book suggestions. I am interested in the book that was suggested for the FBI psychologist and will take a look on Amazon tonite!

I want to also tell you that it is so refreshing to come to your blog and learn the truth. The media we read and see today is so full of misinformation and outright lies. I've learned from here at the very least to see the flags and look deeper. I know I have much to learn but so wish I had this back when my children were younger. You've also set a wonderful example of a loving, caring father for your daughter and family. She is very fortunate to have your guidance as a strong father figure. My daughter was not so fortunate and she has struggled because of it.

Keep up your good work for all of us !!! Mucho appreciated :)

Anonymous said...

I never believe in conspiracies. And don't think anything other than a terrorist attack for 9/11.

This is the one time I could not find anything solid.

Not one parent shedding a single tear? A dad laughing right before.

But the thing is some things are fake.

I'd love to see anything that would confirm it.

conspire said...

to anonymous at 5:56 PM
they are called "crisis witnesses"... check that out on youtube search.
and i'm telling you the black church shooting down in south carolina i think it was..... that was fake too.

bluecoco said...

https://localtvwhnt.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/6-26-16_morganco_911-call_lenoxdr_redacted.pdf

Peter, this link is to a transcript of a teen's 911 call reporting his father's murder at the hands of his mother. I'm curious how the "teen speak" may effect the analysis?

Hey Jude said...

Free read of the chilling first chapter of 'The Gift of Fear' -

http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/b/becker-fear.html

Thanks for the recommendation, Peter - I've just bought the Kindle edition on Amazon.

John Mc Gowan said...

Oscar Pistorius: The Interview

Fri, 24 Jun '16

Why did the ‘Blade Runner’ decide to grant ITV this interview? And how should one interpret the information he’s sharing with Peabody award-winning investigative journalist Mark Williams-Thomas? In this Carte Blanche special esteemed experts bring in-depth analysis as they discuss the content and implications of Oscar Pistorius’ first TV interview since the events of February 2013. Hosted by John Webb and Bongani Bingwa.

Scroll down to watch

http://carteblanche.dstv.com/watch/

Anonymous said...

Peter -

Here are some of Hilary Clinton's statements regarding the GOP report released today about Benghazi...

“I have said from the very beginning nothing is more important than the security of our diplomats and our development officials to go into dangerous places around the world pursuing American values, interests and our security," Clinton said in Denver. "And I said this when I testified for 11 hours that no one has thought more about or lost more sleep over the lives that we lost, the four Americans, which was devastating. And we owe to those brave Americans that we make sure we learn the right lessons from this tragedy."

Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2016/06/clinton-time-to-move-on-from-benghazi-224893#ixzz4Ctq8rDSK

lynda said...

Peter, When "The Gift of Fear" came out, I immediately bought it, then bought it for my daughters. If you feel your daughter is not ready to read it quite yet, the principles of the book can still be discussed with her on a level you feel comfortable with. The single greatest sentence to come out of that book was "NEVER LET HIM TAKE YOU TO A SECOND LOCATION". I drummed that into all 4 of my girls heads repeatedly. There is nothing at that second location other than your death. It seems like I have read far to many stories of a woman being coerced into a car because the man had a knife or a gun. The odds that he will kill you where you stand are miniscule compared to the 100% odds that he WILL kill you at a second location. The Kelsey Smith murder (kidnapped at Target) comes to mind. Unfortunately, they have video of him approaching her in a parking lot with people coming and going, he had a knife, and she neither screamed or fought when he threatened her to get her in the car. THAT IS NO FAULT OF KELSEY'S! I'm merely using that as an example. One of the best books ever written for ANYONE as far as being aware and what to do if you find yourself in a horrible situation. People should memorize his book. I have given it as a gift to many people. Gavin was the first one to address the fact that women/girls in general are raised "not to make a fuss" or to not scream in public for fear of being "embarrassed." I'm anxious to hear your thoughts on the book.

trustmeigetit said...

"no one has thought more about or lost more sleep over the lives that we lost, the four Americans"

UM, I bet their families have.... I hate that woman

Anonymous said...

About Sandy Hook, I can see how there is speculation about it being a hoax. The whole thing was odd. Also, NONE of the parents were allowed to see their kids at the morgue. I can't even imagine that. How did they identify them properly?

Plus, I've also seen the videos of the same people looping around and around the fire station. That was odd.

Anonymous said...

OT Deorr Kunz
PI Klein released a snippet of an interview he did with Robert Walton (baby Deorr's maternal great grandfather who was on the camping trip). It is interesting to hear his voice and see him his body language on video.
https://www.facebook.com/KleinInvestigations/?fref=nf

Happy Healthy Hippie said...

Not WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER. THAT WAS A MOVIE
:)

Nadine Lumley said...

The Gift of Fear is one of my most treasured books. I saw him on Oprah.

He said parents tell their kids not to talk to strangers which is ridiculous because it's impossible to go about yr day not talking to strangers. He said parents should teach thir kid to always ask permission to do anything with their mom first. So if a stranger wants a kid to look for lost puppies and the kid is he11 yeah, let me just ask my mom first.

I went through the same thing with Sandy Hook and 9/11, I couldn't satisfy myself via research that those events were as depicted by the media.

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