Thursday, March 30, 2017

Statement Analysis: Jeurys Familia, Domestic Violence

Even with prepared statements, we can glean truth. 

In Domestic Violence we want to learn if the subject will take ownership, or personal responsibility  which is helpful in predicting future violence. 

For athletes, domestic violence is the continuation of acute competition that is not "shut off" but continues in the home.  The use of strong masculine presence, for example, may cause the children to behave better.  When the father turns to the mother and says, "why can't you control them like I do?", he is showing the competitive streak within in. 

Masculinity is described as "the sacrifice of strength for right purposes."  The above description is not "masculinity" according to this old school definition.  It is exploitation, instead.  

1.  Personal Responsibility 
2.  Empathy for the Victim 

In a statement of a penitent offender, we listen carefully to his words to learn:

a.  does he take responsibility for his own actions?
b.  does he understand masculinity sacrifices, rather than exploits?
c.  can he turn off competition appropriately?
d.  does he show human empathy for the victim?

We note any minimization or shifting of blame. Athletes compete and they must "turn off" the competition via self control.
This is why sportsmanship is vital.
Those who taunt or humiliate the already vanquished foe pose a risk of domestic violence.  

When a young boy is taught to compete in sports, which is natural masculine preparation for life (provision and protection), it is essential that with his increased testosterone, he is taught self control.  

Old school taught respectful behavior in both defeat and in victory, and where one has already "defeated" his sports enemy, the expectation was magnanimity.  Anything less was penalized by the referee or umpire and often sanctioned by society, via crowd reaction and negative press.  

Therefore, after scoring "the"  goal, the player's jubilance needed to be contained and specifically not directed towards, not intended to further humiliate,  the already defeated sports enemy. 

At the moment where his hormonal and emotional response is at its zenith, having overcome a deep struggle and battle on to victory, he was expected to control himself and be gracious towards the defeated. 

This is human empathy once prized as distinctly masculine.  This is where the strong protect the weak, stand up to bullies, and show respectful dignity towards the subordinated was a sign of a man's character.  Something as simple as shaking hands after a fight showed respect.  

In the early 1960's, demographic and social change took place in the United States where, in some cities, boys raised without fathers went from 30% to more than 70% today.  These young boys with their increasing testosterone during critically impressionable years, did not have fathers to teach them the definition of masculinity.  

Hence, not only the increase of violence, and violent crime, but the acceptance of behavior once distinctly penalized (socially and formally) as "unsportsmanlike behavior."

In hiring police officers, this is critical in finding those with both courage and self control.  

Those who, for example, enjoy the suffering of another, pose a high risk for fulfilling their personal "enjoyment."  We use statement analysis to reveal this weakness and exclude one from carrying a firearm while possessing authority over others.  The end result is the brave officer, who de-escalates well, of whom communities and fellow officers trust. Yet, if called upon, he will use force to protect life and property.  

It is, therefore, no surprise when you see a player known for his on field narcissistic celebrations that his lack of self control eventually finds its way into the home, and into the news papers when he is arrested for assaulting his wife, mother, or daughter. 

Jeurys Familia pitches for the New York Mets.  As a long term fan, one may note the behavior of his teammate, Jose Reyes when he does something positive on the field.  He has no self restraint to "show up" his opponent in his antics.  He waits for the camera to focus upon him, and begins his dance.  Just prior to first leaving the Mets, he robbed families who paid a great deal of money to see his talent on the field, on the last game of the season.  He had been leading the league in batting average, got a hit, and took himself out of the game lest he spoil his top average by not getting a hit.  Unacceptable a generation ago, this self - first attitude was praised by young fans, as they knew this single statistic would translate into dollars.  Those of us who watched him on the field and observed his behavior, were not surprised to see him arrested for assaulting his wife.  
The trait of self restraint,  not learned in early childhood, does not bode well later in life.  

For many, success dismisses the most egregious crimes.  A soccer player spends a few years in prison for having his wife murdered and eaten by dogs but is cheered on the field.  A pedophile is celebrated because of his music or acting talents.  The shift is cultural and it is profound.  

In spite of productivity, sports management frequently frets about how such behavior can set a poor example for younger players.  This includes other forms of narcissistic like behavior, including athletes who should be concentrating on their craft, rather than night life exploits, with managers ruing the day they allowed a drug dealer, for example, into he clubhouse.  
Mets pitcher Jeurys Familia was suspended Wednesday for the first 15 games of the 2017 season.

The reigning MLB saves leader will be eligible to return to the team on April 20, barring any postponed games on the Mets schedule. He forfeits 18 days of pay, worth more than $700,000.

Familia met with Commissioner Rob Manfred on Monday in New York to discuss the closer’s domestic violence incident, which was dismissed in court.

Familia was arrested Oct. 31 at his New Jersey home after his wife, Bianca, called 911 to report an altercation. The police report indicated Familia’s wife had a bruised cheek and scratches to her neck.

Consider the situation she was in, and the known cost of calling 911 for armed intervention for the sake of safety from her husband.  

Familia has accepted the suspension without protest. Compared to other suspensions, this is very short.  

Here is his statement.  

We look for two key elements:

1.  Personal Responsibility 
2.  Empathy for the victim 

“It is important that it be known that I never physically touched, harmed or threatened my wife that evening. I did, however, act in an unacceptable manner and am terribly disappointed in myself. I am alone to blame for the problems of that evening.
My wife and I cooperated fully with Major League Baseball’s investigation, and I’ve taken meaningful steps to assure that nothing like this will ever happen again. I have learned from this experience, and have grown as a husband, a father, and a man.
I apologize to the Mets’ organization, my teammates, and all my fans. I look forward to rejoining the Mets and being part of another World Series run. Out of respect for my teammates and my family, I will have no further comment."

Where one begins a statement is very important.  

"It is important that it be known that I never physically touched, harmed, or threatened my wife that evening." 

The statement analysis principle of priority is emphasized by the wording of the statement.  Here, the priority is that the public know he did not "physically" touch, harm or threaten his wife. 

Why, then, did she call 911 knowing the cost of such a call?

How did she receive her injuries?

The priority of the statement is to let us know what he did not do.  

The word "never" is unreliable in particular because this happened on a specific night that he, himself, identifies as "that evening."

We note also that not only is a priority for him but he must qualify what he did do:

"physically" touch.  

He did not "physically" touch her.  This is the type of technical language used often by attorneys to deceive. 

*Did an object "physically" touch her?

That his priority is to protect the image (in the negative), we must consider recidivism.  

Next, what does he call the mysterious action?

"unacceptable manner."  

"the problems" 

"this experience

This is minimization. 

To "confess" is to, in Greek, "say the same" or "agree" (homo-logeo), that is, to be truthful or agree with the facts.  

If he did not physically touch, harm or threaten, why is he even suspended?

The answer is within the statement, whether prepared for him, with him or by him:
My wife and I cooperated fully with Major League Baseball’s investigation, 

This is an unnecessary statement, but it does show something by what is missing:  he does not say that they cooperated with police. 

In fact, his wife has refused to disclose what happened and as such (victims often do), Major League baseball was left without the ability to prove how she suffered her injuries and why she called police. 

The cooperation is unnecessary, but it is made sensitive, further, by the word "fully."

Would we expect "My wife and I cooperated 70% with MLB"?  

When we see, in many statements, that one "fully" cooperated, we have found that the subject has a reason to qualify cooperation with "fully."  

Analysis Conclusion:  

The statement seeks to protect the subject's reputation while minimizing his behavior. 

As we look for the element of human empathy for the victim, we learn that it is absent

These are the two key elements we seek.  They are not in the statement.  

Victims of domestic violence will likely recognize the missing elements in the statement.  

For training in deception detection, visit 


rob said...

There is no sportsmanship in sports these days. Other than some restrictions on 'celebrating' anything goes. I blame a lot of this on the owners, the league and the coaches. Most players are taught as young as high school, that if you're a good player, you can get away with anything, and they do.
The wife hates to report the violence, cause it will impact her large income life. But do you really want your kids to grow up watching that? Get a good lawyer and burn his azz, and maybe on his next wife, he'll do better.
It seems the guy that fought dogs and the one who switched his kid got more punishment than anybody. (I happen to agree with switching kids)
I think rules should be in place, first criminal act you do, you're out. Make it clear from high school on, if you want to play, you got to walk a straight line.
I guess I'm just old school.

Seagull said...

For a perfect example of humility and sportsmanship, check out the Australian Rugby league Grand Final of 2015 between the Cowboys and the Broncos. The first time ever a Grand Final was won by Golden Point in extra time. The ball was spilled by Ben Hunt of the Bronco's and from the resulting play, Jonathan Thurston was able to kick the winning points. This was history making, the first time the Cowboys had ever won a final and in front of a record crowd of over 82,000. The first thing Thurston did on winning? To go and put his arm around Ben Hunt and console him but also encourage him. That's sportsmanship right there.

It was a "game for the ages."

Statement Analysis Blog said...

Good points, rob.

Consider that a noble defense attorney is not to "win at all costs" but to protect his client against malicious prosecution.

I have had a lot of experience in interviewing (and analyzing) victims of D/V. It is one of the areas in which I will accept, either myself or one of the associate analysts, pro bono work.

The pressure on some women can be immense. Rare is the millionaire such as here, as most are:

1. Woman is blamed by her own family
2. The perp has a great relationship w kids. She recognizes how important dad is.
3. One woman faced critical surgery and was told, "if you report him (Military) you lose benefits")
4. Many victims blame themselves and are in denial

Some who have committed domestic violence have not only owned what they did, but made internal changes. In these cases, "shame" played a huge role, as did empathy for the victim.

The feminist ideology of egalitarianism (or the left in general?) increases D/V even as they campaign against it.

Interesting thoughts, rob!


General P. Malaise said...

Peter do you have any insights as to why there are so many perverted hazing rituals in sport?

Butterfly said...

In his closing apology, he apologized to the Mets' organization, his teammates, and all his fans, but NOT his wife.

StarTender said...

Indeed, Butterfly, I noticed that, too. Also, he continues with, "Out of respect for my teammates and my family . . . ".

His "teammates" come before his "family". Really?

Yes, I'm a d/v survivor.

Vivica said...

I agree at least in my way of perceiving many men of the younger generations take no pride in being a man. For example, when a man makes you realize your strength in contrast with his weakness your feminity is stripped from you (and it goes somewhere and that is to him, the man). When you realize wow if I woke up in the middle of the night and someone was breaking into my house, I would have to fight the intruder off with my bare hands because the past few guys Ive been involved with did not have the masculinity to do those types of masculine things, no instinct to protect or show masculine strength it is truly heart-wrenching what this society is producing in the case of some so-called men. Or if I had an oil leak in my car, they would not have that instinct "hey Im the man, I'll get dirty" they would expect their woman to go under the car while they remain clean as a whistle. Peter, I predict in 50 yrs the population will have dwindled as women lose all desire to be intimate with these feminized men. Unfortunately that is the natural result of being expected to be both man and woman while the man is feminized and ineffective. These words may sound harsh but I have lived it and so have many other women. A woman can not feel safe and secure with that kind of weak man and loses all God-given instinct to procreate, and stunningly, these men are not ashamed and actually their entitlement to try to turn women into men while they remain comfortably feminine only expands. So very heart-wrenching. I hope the population does not diminish from lack of procreation. Women dont feel safe or secure enough or desiring to procreate with these types of men. So sad.

Vivica said...

I am proud at least I taught my son right. He will not even let me help him take out the trash. If I offer to help on trash night, he says "No Mom, no, Im doing it." I have also taught him he should walk any young lady friend's home at night since he is stronger (as protection and also out of respect) I only mention this bc I have witnessed men who literally will not do any typical manly things or, if they do, will throw a fit before or after. There is a lack of respect for women, Peter. I don't know where it comes from. God help our country!

Vivica said...

I think many fathers (and perhaps mothers) neglect to teach their sons to act like gentlemen or to respect women. Unfortunately, that means they do not care about their sons as people either. I have seen some fathers model selfish, unmasculine behavior for their own sons...truly heart-breaking, also sometimes bad peer influences can contribute.

Denise said...

I agree Vivica, as these younger generation's men reject their masculinity....for example let's say there was road kill in the driveway, many of today's sissified men would have their woman clean it up....a loose gutter? The woman can climb the ladder and fix it while the man moisturizers his hands and cleans under his nails and probably checks out the mailman....all birth control will become unnecessary as these sissified pathetic excuses for men continue their routines. These men should be publically humiliated bc what they do by embracing sissification actually endangers the human race. This is why we see so many troubled youths. These sissified men are an embarrassment and plague upon the earth. I don't care if it's politically correct or not, Ive told my son certain things are "men's work"....I know that has it's downfalls bc I don't think things should be divided into men's work or woman's work, but when you see some of the men nowadays who dont think anything is their responsibility, these men who would let their woman fight off an intruder bare-handed while they relax, IT'S THE ONLY SOLUTION. Women have a right to be angry at these worthless men who demonstrate no effectiveness or masculinity and their selfishness is not masculine, very unmasculine. Women get tired of it and just say to hell with these worthless clowns!!!

Denise said...

I agree Peter, some men do "own" it and change, but there are many who I feel quite certain have never acted masculine for a single day, ever, at any time, so they simply have no reference point having never acted like a man for a single day. They could be completely sissified and selfish, but having known nothing else EVER, they feel they are in their glory, behaving as a man. And if their sissification and selfishness is challenged, then there is something very wrong with anyone questioning their abhorent unmasculine behavior. For many of them, there is little hope they will ever know the joy of behaving as a man. It's so very sad.

elf said...

Incomplete social introduction of his wife. He only apologizes to the Mets organization, his team mates and his fans but not his wife. He only shows respect for his team mates and his family. His words about taking meaningful steps to assure that nothing like this will happen again are the same old bull**** every abusive man uses after the beating is over to get you to stay or not press charges.

Anonymous said...

“It is important that it be known that I never physically touched, harmed or threatened my wife that evening."

It is surprising how often physically abusive men will utter pathological lies and will lie outright about their actions. I think many are sociopaths and this accounts for their ability to pathologically lie "I never physically touched her". They also get a lot of practice using this type of lying when trying to escape accountability as well as brainwash/gaslight their victims by denying what happened After a serious assault, many abusers will say to their victim "That never happened!" "I never did that!" (I think many--not all--are sociopaths)

If you look at Ray Rice cold-clocking his wife and then dragging her like a dead body out of the elevator, and then see him being interviewed by Matt Lauer and he appears oh-so-sweet and harmless when he feels no remorse and would gladly cold-clock her again. These guys lose NO SLEEP once they have progressed to that point and I think many actually do become sociopathic or devil-possessed. I mean, how do the Ray Rices cold-clock a woman they are supposed to love and then drag her like a dead body. He has NO conscience. If he ever did it was gone. Also, some football guy commented on that (and I agree with him) that Ray Rice premeditated the assault--waited till they got in the elevator and then BAM!!!

I think this guy is a psychopath also. I think many of them are either psychopaths or become demonically possessed as they harden their conscience over and over by this type diabolical victimization of people they are supposed to PROTECT.

Also the lack of masculinity is pronounced with these men who viciously assault women...I feel is satanically influenced where these men are assaulting women and/or children using the strength they would use to fight another man in a bar or something (Ray Rice and many others)...very diabolical...not human if you understand what I mean...there is some type demonic influence where the masculinity itself is being mocked by a demon within the man is an obscene parody of masculine strength watching Ray Rice deck a woman like he is in a professional boxing ring... using the brute force he would typically save to fight a man to instead assault much weaker women and children. These men are partially possessed by demons at that stage... They at this point have no trouble sleeping at night. Something is very wrong with them.

Anonymous said...

Their body language is interesting. He appears puffed up, arrogant body language, walking ahead of her, leading her...she is following behind as he leads her, head down, subservient.

"It is important that it be known that I never physically touched, harmed or threatened my wife that evening."

"I never physically touched" (often in terms of fighting, "I didn't touch you" implies "I didn't hit you or punch you or push you")...and they don't want to say what he did...I bet he started strangling her...I be that's what he did. I can tell just by looking at that dirt bag and I can tell by his denial "I never physically touched"...he more physically "grabbed" (strangled) didn't you, you lying wife-abusing overpaid sports star scumbag??????!

Anonymous said...

Oh look! They dressed him up in a baby blue colored suit! Don't he just look so sweet and innocent? He's "grown" from this experience into a better husband and father. I know right you scumbag...nothing helps someone grow like assaulting women and/or children and lying about it.

Dump his ass hun! You can do way better than that overgrown temper-tantrum throwing idiot! He won't change sweetie--they have sociopathic programming and demon-possession!

Anonymous said...

You talk real fancy don't you when your lawyer helps you huh? You are "terribly disappointed" in yourself. Oh I bet you are. You look real sorry. How many days will go by till you do it again? Is that your pastor behind you in his fancy blue suit? Is he gonna gobble your bullshit story up too and console you?

These men should be put into the town square in stocks and have rotten fruit thrown at them for a week. So sick of these scumbag wife beaters getting away with bullshitting people and milking sympathy our of people because boo-hoo assaulting their wife helped them grow so much and they didn't really do anything they just acted "inappropriately". Public humiliation--put in stocks in town square with rotten fruit thrown at them for a week!!! That might actually help!!!!! These sickening displays of "I'm sorry for what I did but actually I didn't even do anything now can I go back to playing ball" are becoming sickening!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I like that expression on his face too! It's the fake kinda sorry/kinda sad face, but it's a little subdued because he doesn't want to look TOO sad or sorry because, after all, he didn't do anything!!!

It's funny these abusers all have the same fake sad/sorry look. What's really disgusting is that some actually refer to it as that, as "putting on their fake sad/sorry look". MANY are psychopaths.

Anonymous said...

I think a lot of men who viciously assault women are closet homos. If you look at this guy's suit, it looks like he could be gay--looks like he was dressed by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I mean, where would such rage towards a woman come from? Other than he is mad she is not a man? Ray Rice is a closet homo also. Also the sacharrine sweet insincerity of their apologies (I am terribly disappointed in myself (while denying that he did anything) points to closet gay problems. This guy looks like a closet gay--even his hands look kind of dainty, slender and feminine, if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

Look at the way he is walking down the light in the loafers for sure. And his puckered up bratty kind of pout--he is gay. Walking ahead of his lady like he is ashamed of her...of course he is...he wishes she was a 250 pound man with a face full of stubble to have his gay dreams come true with.

Statement Analysis Blog said...

StarTender said...
Indeed, Butterfly, I noticed that, too. Also, he continues with, "Out of respect for my teammates and my family . . . ".

His "teammates" come before his "family". Really?

Yes, I'm a d/v survivor.
March 30, 2017 at 4:50 PM

Sommende is paying attention!

good post,


Statement Analysis Blog said...

Blogger General P. Malaise said...
Peter do you have any insights as to why there are so many perverted hazing rituals in sport?

March 30, 2017 at 11:26 AM Delete

I do, but not conclusive.

I grew up when hazing was rough, but not with sexual element.

I believe this is part of the rise of women raising sons without fathers and the lack of masculinity. They see domination and humiliating others as "masculine" when it is the opposite. A woman is not made to teach masculinity just as it is the height of insult to women for a man to say

"I feel like a woman."

He must use distancing language by virtue of no experience being a woman.

The age of absurdity.


rob said...

As for the sexual element, I think a lot of that may be, 'I do to them what was done to me'.
A lot of crimes of college athletes is not stopping when a girl tells them 'no'. they have not been taught, raised, explained the details of the repercussions of their actions. Not a good enough argument to be able to get away with it. those 2 Vanderbilt players that were prosecuted for the rape and abuse of the female could not believe they were found guilty, even though it was on film! The father of one and the mother of the other wanted them to walk after doing that to a young female. Disgusting!
Back in my dating days, I was seeing a guy who happened to be deaf. One day when we were in my car, I had to stop for gas. He sit in the car while I got out and pumped it. I was surprised that he didn't offer. My dad would have never done that, he would have pumped for any female. After that I noticed many more things that he would allow me to do, that really he should have been doing. I cooked him dinner at his place, he never offered to even help clean up after. He was very spoiled by his parents, who seemed to feel guilty that he was born deaf, yet had turned out very successful. I moved on. The man I married to this day keeps my gas tank filled, helps me in and out of the car, and many other common courtesies that I don't even expect of him. I married a man like my father, and have never regretted it.

John Mc Gowan said...

"I never physically touched, harmed or threatened my wife that evening."

Has he "threatened" her on other "evenings", other days?

Anonymous said...

John, his statement indicates through his use of "I never wife...that evening" that he did something WORSE to her than hit, punch, push. It was probably strangling....since that is not "touching" it is grabbing. It could be he hit her with an object,
"Never touched physically"

How can you touch someone in any other way than physically? Therefore, "physically" is an unnecessary word making it very sensitive.
I think if anything, this linguistics sensitivity regarding the word "touch" by adding physically to his denial....did not "physically touch" means to assault was very up close and personal ie. strangling.

Note: He says he has "taken meaningful steps".....did he take a few "meaningful steps" towards her before he strangled her briefly? Whatever he did to her was "meaningful" to him...intended to teach her a lesson.

CptKD said...

While I'm not 'Versed' so much in American Law ...
Here in Canada - Section 246 of Our Criminal Code has its own, very DISTINCT & Seperate Charge of 'Choking'!
Therefore, if one is accused of 'strangling' another & Further faced with the Charged of CHOKING - The penalty for this is incredibly severe & being the charge is considered an indictable offence, one can in fact face a life imprisonment sentence.

I agree with all these above statements ...
If he DIDNT 'physically' Touch HER - THEN WHAT IS IT that he did?

I'm willing to bet - He CHOKED Her!

CptKD said...

I think you nailed THAT one!

Obviously on this particular night, he pushed it a little too far ... Perhaps into the 'Choking' arena - Leading her into GREAT Fear & Further to, dialing up 911¡

Anonymous said...


I think he has a history of being violent towards his wife. He keeps referring to "that evening" specifically, as if there are others from which it must be distinguished. He also says he "learned from this experience" which is signals closeness, and that he may have finally learned his lesson, as in not learning from the past. Another indication that wasn't the first time is when he says, "nothing like this will ever happen again."

What are meaningful steps? Shouldn't he be taking the "appropriate" or "prescribed" steps?

He does NOT publicly apologize to his wife; only to his career and those who keep him there. It is only out of respect for his teammates (first) and family (second) that he will not comment further - not out of respect for the victim, his wife.