Thursday, September 18, 2014

He Said; She Said; But He Should Have Shut Up

who do you believe in this "he said; she said" dilemma?

I won't even bother to put up a poll.  Statement Analysis added in bold type.

Hedge-funder’s defense in ‘grope’ case: I never grabbed her


He says he’s a connoisseur of the “ass grab” — but this waitress just wasn’t on his menu.
A wealthy hedge-fund titan made a bungled attempt to defend himself against a claim that he fondled a waitress at a trendy Soho restaurant, by bizarrely bragging that he gropes other women all the time.
I’ve grabbed plenty of girls’ asses in my life,” Brian H. Lederman boasted to The Post. “But I’ve never grabbed hers.”
In Statement Analysis, we recognize that "never" is not a legitimate substitute for "did not" unless asked, "Did you ever...?"  Here, the groping happened once, on a specific night, to a specific person, and is not a vague, "ever" situation.  This is to be deemed:  Unreliable. 
The married moneyman went on the defensive Tuesday after server Laura Ramadei made a tell-all Facebook post saying he ogled her like a piece of meat as he fondled her derriere at Lucky Strike on Grand Street.
When I asked you and your companion if you’d be eating, or needing anything else from me, you put your hand — ever so gently — ON MY ASS and asked if you could take me ‘to go,’ ” the 29-year-old wrote, adding that he left only a $2 tip.
Note the past tense language, as well as the inclusion of the pronouns.  This is strong.  
Lederman, a 57-year-old managing director at Swiss Performance Management & Fiduciary, angrily denied any physical contact — and threatened to sue Ramadei for defamation.
Modal Trigger
Laura Ramadei
But he didn’t help his case much by admitting he made a boorish comment toward her.
I clearly remember making a joke when the girl said, ‘What would you like,’ ” he said. “I kiddingly said, ‘I would like you to go with nothing on it.’ 
Note that a truthful person can only tell us what they do remember.  Here he "clearly" remembers. 
He said he was furious that she claimed he did more than spew sleaze.
“That f–king c–t, for her to do something like that is pretty ridiculous,” he told The Post.
There are two indicators that should be noted here:
1.  The need to ridicule the alleged victim
2.  The unreliable denial of "never"
Please also note the use of the word "that", which is distancing language.  
The obvious character flaws, as seen in his language and admission, will cause many to believe the female, however, Statement Analysis gives us other reasons:
He is unreliable in language while she is reliable.  
He then threatened to make sure she doesn’t serve lunch in this town again.
I will make sure she doesn’t get another job in New York City. I know everybody,” he raged. “The bar owners, the club owners — that’s a terrible thing to write about somebody.”

He admitted grabbing many others, yet it is a terrible thing to write about "somebody" and not "me."
People do not like to lie outright.  Here we see the same pattern continuing.  
Ramadei, an aspiring actress who helps run an independent theater company, stood by her Facebook post.
He placed what felt like three fingers on my left butt cheek,” she told The Post. “It was very subtle, but it was definite contact.”
This is consistent with what she reported above. 
She posted a picture of the money manager’s $15.24 bar tab on the social network.
Ramadei said she deals with customer harassment all the time working at the noisy bar and posted her story to “raise awareness about how common it is.
Her rant has been shared almost 2,000 times since she posted it on Monday. “It was a small thing, but probably commonplace for women and servers,” she said.


Anonymous said...

Ha. Funny. You might not want to believe this but I actually believe him. I've really do. Well, for the most part. The problem is that I've known too many men who were just like him.

Anonymous said...

Whoops... I meant to say "I really do."

Tania Cadogan said...

off topic

DECATURVILLE, Tenn. – The brother of a man accused of kidnapping and killing a 20-year-old nursing student has been charged with tampering with evidence in the case.

The Tennessee Bureau of Investigation said in a news release Thursday that on April 13, 2011, the day Holly Bobo disappeared in West Tennessee, 26-year-old John Dylan Adams of Decatur County disposed of items he knew could be evidence in the case.

Adams is the brother of Zachary Adams. He was charged with murder in March and his family has property about 6 miles from where Bobo's remains were found by ginseng hunters this month.

Another man, Jason Autry, faces the same charges as Zachary Adams. Both men have pleaded not guilty.

The TBI said John Dylan Adams was in jail without bond.

Unknown said...

What a jerk....

(as well as a few other choice 4 letter words)

So I'm supposed to believe that he openly and admittedly called her a f*cking c*nt, made a crude comment about taking her home with nothing on, and then threatened to sue her and take away her ability to make a living when she had the nerve, and self respect to be offended by him...but he's not the kind of guy who would touch her butt?

(Even though he bragged about touching lots of other women's butts!!)

Yeah, clearly physical sexual harassment is something that would be out of character with his stellar reputation as a perfect gentleman.

Anonymous said...

Jen Ow, some men toss the "f'kin C" words around all the time. Like it's nothing. He was only kidding when he made the comment about taking her home with nothing on, then his all too common solicitous flirtation got out of hand. Literally.

Carnival Barker said...

Money can't buy you claaaaaass ...

Anonymous said...

If he knows "everybody", then they probably know him, and they probably know he did do it. I do think he did, but her mention of "three" stuck out to me. Of course, not every mention of three is a lie.

Anonymous said...

He NEVER grabber her! Must be true if she only felt three fingers...excluding thumb needed for grab. He did make unsolicitated contact in the physical form, premedatated his sexual harassment in the verbal sense, then blamed and threatened the victim to add insult to injury.

What a creep! He is the one that should never work in that town again. And, his sleazy wife! Wow!

Anonymous said...

If he slanders her to keep her from working, that's finacial abuse. He must be planning to sell her into human trafficking or something. Why? Over $15 worth of items?

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks his wife bears a striking resemblance to Casey Anthony??

linnet said...

Three fingers very subtle. Is that grabbing?

I was a teenager in the eighties, and I think sexual harassment was worse back then. Even in company with my boyfriend (now husband), I received comments, looks, and the oh so ever "bumping into you".

I was no more nor less attractive than any other teengae girl out there. But we were natural.

Good to know that three subtle fingers now is consider sexual harassment.
I hope the idiot scum of a man gets everything he deserves.

Anonymous said...

What do you think he deserves, Linnet? Did he actually grab her, did he physically abuse her? Did he threaten her during the altercation, did he try to coerce her into having sex with him right then and there; rub himself against her, bend her over a table or throw her down on the floor and attempt to take it or slam her against a wall in the heat of passion, or proposition her with money, or what exactly did he do that actually harmed her or her (questionable) reputation?

So, she was offended. It happens all day long every day. If she is so highly insulted, then put on some clothes, stop strutting your stuff around, and stop throwing it out there like a slut and looking and acting like one. You put it out there honey, and this is par for the course. There are other and better jobs. Go put on some decent clothes and get one.

Even then, she will still find plenty of men who want to ram their hand up her dress or wherever. That's just the way it is for many women in work places of relaxed socializing; who can get inside a mans' head, especially in an atmosphere where drinks are being served and consumed. If you don't want this kind of treatment then don't put yourself in this position. But don't bet your bottom dollar that it won't happen in the finest up-scale offices and other types of businesses. I KNOW, been there, done that.

Is it right? Of course not, but I guess you could be born ugly or make yourself ugly, wear Quaker clothing and bind your breasts with a binder, but that's about it.

Will he suffer the consequences? What consequences? Does she have any legal charges she can bring against him? Don't think so. He will get a few knowing-glance snickers and high-fives from his buds... That's about it. Her? She made a fool of herself.

Anonymous said...

It sounds to me like she is okay with the sexual harrassment but felt the need to shame him because he didn't tip her well enough to have earned it. I waitressed once and people while drinking get a little crazy. If she really had an issue she would have talked to management right then and had someone take over for her with him or have him thrown out.

GeekRad said...

Yes anon at 10:32, I thought it was Casey Anthony.

I believe him oddly enough. Three subtle fingers? If someone touched my butt I would be too shocked and annoyed to discern three subtle fingers.

Anonymous said...

When you take a look at the photo with her posed next to him, improperly dressed AND lounging right up against him; BTW, having herself a grandiose ball with drinks in hand; this tells the whole story. What would she expect?

I thought she was supposed to be working, or did I miss something here? She can deny and sling all the mud at him that she wants too but she led him on. That's my take on it.

John Mc Gowan said...

OT Update.

For alleged Abigail Hernandez kidnapper, a life of mystery

The ways of suspect Nat Kibby among the puzzles in 9-month disappearance of N.H. teen Abby Hernandez

Anonymous said...

That's his wife in the photo, not the waitress.

Anonymous said...

Wow- what idiot comments! If you are a waitress, you are serving food to your customers. That is it. They don;t have any right to touch, maul, or otherwise proposition you!

John Mc Gowan said...

OT Update:

'Monster' Doctor Who Drowned Wife Sentenced
The father-of-eight drugged his former beauty queen wife before holding her head underwater in a bathtub.

A Utah doctor and former bishop who drowned his wife in a bathtub so he could begin a new life with his mistress has been sentenced to 17 years to life.

Prosecutors said Martin MacNeill, 58, gave drugs to his wife, Michele MacNeill, after she had cosmetic surgery, which he had pressured her into.

The father-of-eight helped the 50-year-old former local beauty queen into the tub before holding her head underwater.

"My father is a monster!" his daughter Alexis told Friday's hearing.

"He has never shown any remorse for his crimes."

A prosecutor told the trial "it was an almost perfect murder", and the doctor had "pumped her full of drugs" that he knew would be difficult to detect once she was dead.

The murderer's mistress, Gypsy Willis, testified that she had a 15-month affair with the doctor at the time of Mrs MacNeill's death.

She said she was hired as a nanny and given a marriage proposal shortly after her death.

But Ms Willis said she ended the affair years ago and did not know anything about the death.

The case captured national attention because MacNeill was a wealthy doctor with a law degree, a picture-perfect family and a former bishop.

Before he was charged with murder in 2012, he served time in a federal prison in Texas on fraud charges.

He also served time for using the identity of one of his adopted daughters to escape a debt-heavy history.

His only son committed suicide in January 2010.

MacNeill was medical director of the Utah State Development Center, a residential centre for people with cognitive disorders.

911 call transcript

911 OPERATOR: Pleasant Grove Police Department.

MACNEILL: I need — I need an ambulance!

911 OPERATOR: OK, what`s the problem, sir? We need medical. Sir, what`s wrong?

MACNEILL: My wife`s fallen in the bathtub!
911 OPERATOR: Who`s in the bathtub? Who`s in the bathtub?

MACNEILL: My wife!

911 OPERATOR: OK, is she conscious?

MACNEILL: She`s not. I`m a physician. I need help! (INAUDIBLE)

911 OPERATOR: Sir, sir, I need you to calm down. Sir, I can`t understand you, OK? Can you calm down just a little bit?

MACNEILL: I need help!

911 OPERATOR: OK, what — your wife is unconscious?

MACNEILL: She is unconscious. She`s under water.
911 OPERATOR: OK, did you get her out of the water?

MACNEILL: I can`t! I just (INAUDIBLE) I let the water out (INAUDIBLE)
911 OPERATOR: She`s under the water?
MACNEILL: She`s under the water, and I need an ambulance!

911 OPERATOR: OK, is she breathing at all?
MACNEILL: She`s not!

911 OPERATOR: OK, sir, the ambulance has been paged. They`re on their way, OK? Do not hang up.


911 OPERATOR: What? Sir?
(MACNEILL HANGS UP ON 911 ending call one )

911 calls back


911 OPERATOR: Sir, this is 911. Can I help you?

MACNEILL: I need help!

911 OPERATOR: OK, sir, they`re on their way. Is your wife breathing?

MACNEILL: She is not! I am a physician. I`ve got CPR in progress! (INAUDIBLE)

911 OPERATOR: You`re doing CPR?

Apparently NOT. He is answering his phone.

911 OPERATOR: Sir, how old is your wife?

MACNEILL: My wife is 50 years old. She just had surgery a couple of days, a week ago.

911 OPERATOR: What kind of surgery did she have?

MACNEILL: She had a facelift.

911 OPERATOR: She had a facelift?


911 OPERATOR: OK, do you know how to do CPR?

MACNEILL: I`m doing it!

While talking on the phone?

911 OPERATOR: OK, do not hang…

(and he hangs up)

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Anonymous said...

I believe her story and feel that this obnoxious man behaved like a perv to impress his friends...but really? All of this drama afterwards? In my opinion, the waitress is looking for her 15 mins, fledgling acting career to consider etc. As a woman, I detest loser men like this and in no way feel he should he receive a free pass. Sadly this kind of stuff happens constantly and the appropriate thing for her to do would've been to stand up for herself (and her boundaries) in the moment. A firm and simple "get your damn hand off my a$$ right now" would've been an excellent start.

John Mc Gowan said...


Martin MacNeill

Dateline | November 13, 2013

'Secrets in Pleasant Grove'
A former beauty queen turns 50 and decides to have plastic surgery. A decision that changes everything in her picture perfect life.

Doubtful said...

That's who I thought it was, too!

Doubtful said...

He protests WAY too strongly about something he admits to doing to others. He's pissed that his "cool, sexy" behavior is being called out for what it really is - boorish, classless and creepy. And he needs to button up his shirt - gross!

Doubtful said...

A little public shaming for his boorish behavior isn't gonna kill him. HE'S the one making the big deal out of it, he could've just not responded. Instead, he calls her a "F'ing C" and threatens that she'll never work in that town again. What an asshole. Maybe now he'll keep his mouth shut and his hands to himself.

Unknown said...

Agreed! I guess he thought she would swoon at the thought of his paws on her.

Doubtful said...

What he "deserves" is public shaming, and that's what he got.

As far as the need to "put some clothes on" do you know what she was wearing? If you're referring to the top pic - that's his WIFE who needs to "put some clothes on."

Unknown said...

Why are you shaming and blaming the victim?

She was doing her job, when he decided to flex his d-bag muscle for her and the world to see! Also, why are you commenting on her lack of clothing, as if you even know what she was wearing? Quite an assumption on your part, since the article says nothing about her atire.

Do you also think women deserve to be raped based on what they are wearing? That's basically the argument you are making when you say she should put on clothes and get a better job if she doesn't want to be disrespected and violated.

Just to be clear, HE is the fool.

Unknown said...

Lol, the woman he groped is wearing a TURTLENECK in her photo!

Yeah your right, she should really cover up.


Vance Holmes said...

Martin MacNeill recalls the 2001 Mass. case of Dr. Dirk Greineder. The highly respected physician got life in prison for diabolically planning and executing the savage killing of his wife, Mabel, while engaging in a bizarre secret life with prostitutes and Internet swingers.

Here is the first part of his lengthy 9-1-1 call:


Dispatcher: Wellesley Police. This call's recorded.

GREINEDER: Help! I'm at the pond. I need some -- someone attacked my wife, trying to get [inaudible]!

DISPATCHER: Sir, where are you?

GREINEDER: I'm at, at the pond, at Morses Pond. Walking . . .

DISPATCHER: At Morses Pond?

GREINEDER: Walking the dog. Someone attacked. I left her cause she hurt her back.

DISPATCHER: Okay. You just need to relax cause I can't understand what you're saying.

GREINEDER: Please, please, send a car.

DISPATCHER: Okay, You're at Morses Pond.

GREINEDER: Pond, yeah.

DISPATCHER: Whereabouts at Morses Pond? . . . Whereabouts at Morses Pond?

GREINEDER: I'm, I'm outside my, my car's outside by the gate.

DISPATCHER: Okay. Hold on one second, Okay?

GREINEDER: Please send someone. Oh my God!

DISPATCHER: What happened?

GREINEDER: I, I, I -- we were walking the dog. She hurt her back.

DISPATCHER: Is she injured?

GREINEDER: I think she's dead. I'm not sure. I'm a doctor. I went back, I ...

DISPATCHER: Can you start over to Morses Pond?

GREINEDER: She looks terrible.

Anonymous said...

Not only is he a sleezeball, he has really poor taste in women. From the look of her, you'd think she'd be happy to get any attention at all. I suspect she'd have been more open to get groped by a woman. It seems she didn't mind getting groped at the time, but thought she should've been tipped better for allowing him to do it. That's what she's upset about, the tip.

trustmeigetit said...

I believe her men are pigs!!

I just would never put my hands on someone like this. I will never understand why some men feel this is their right.

And he’s married so it’s even worse.

I just wish guys like this would get their ass kicked every single time so they would learn to stop.

Now he is threatening to affect her ability to work. And sadly, it often does happen.

A loser like this is treated like he matters more.

I worry about the state of this world and what is wrong with the human brain that it is capable of such evil, hate and selfishness.

Anonymous said...

The woman in the picture looks like Casy Anthony!

Skeptical said...

I believe her. However, it strikes me as strange that she said harassment happens all the time in her line of work but only chooses to report it when it comes from a millionaire hedge fund manager. Perhaps he should have left a bigger tip. I see an out of court settlement in her future. Also great publicity for an aspiring actress.

Doubtful said...

What are you talking about - "out of court settlement?" She's not suing him or even asking anything from him! She just called attention to his boorish, classless behavior. His nose got out of joint for having it called out in public. Boo hoo. Maybe he'll learn to keep his hands to himself.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:47 Your comment makes no sense. The waitress was doing her job. Period. You don't know what she was wearing and blaming HER for his pig behavior makes no sense. It's not the waitress' fault if the customer is an animal. All blame is his and his alone. In this century people do NOT have the right to sexually harass others in the workplace in America. It's wrong. Period.