Friday, January 9, 2015

Obsession and Stalking Behavior On Line

Over the last few years, I have been asked to assess threats made by a modern phenomena:  social media stalking.

"Is this guy for real?  Would he really harm me?"

"Should I be worried for my daughter?"

"I think he is just love-lorn and not a danger.  What do you think?"

It is not just movie stars that are targeted, with Facebook having lots of personal photos for the world to see.  Where once stalkers might have obsessed over a photograph of a movie star, a personal photo of someone without fame may not experience this frightening behavior.

Threats in writing, often made anonymously, continue, since the subject often fears detection via computer tracing. These can be typed and mailed and the resources expended to track the sender are measured against the nature of the threat.  Obviously, a threat to a high ranking government official will be taken more seriously than that made to someone, personally, without exposure.

Threats made to businesses, while anonymous, if they have substantial sample, can yield not only a profile of the subject (writer) but the identity.

We all reveal ourselves by our words.

But what of those who appear to become Facebook 'stalkers', or profess great love to the recipient?  Known to the recipient, the Facebook, or cyber stalker may use phrases like,

"If I can't have you, no one can..." or the lesser, "If I see you with another guy, I'll kill him", which may appear less threatening, since:

a.  It puts a condition upon the threat ("if I see...")
b.  It may be interpreted as flattering to the recipient.

In assessing such a threat, we seek to enter into the subject's subjective language, to see how he views himself, the recipient, and the "guy" that may be with the recipient.

This is where the gender neutral pronoun "person" can become important.

For example:

"You're the only girl for me.  Every other person just doesn't do it for me. I've dated other persons since we broke up, but I will never stop loving you.  You're the only girl for me."

Rather than be flattered, the recipient should consider the language used.

The obsessive behavior may be due to what the language is hinting:

All that he dated were "persons", that is, gender neutral.  She was a "girl", gender specific.

What the recipient should consider is that obsessiveness is not a compliment.  The subject may have severe mental health issues.  He is signaling that he is not able to be sexually aroused by others, only her.  With others, he may be impotent.  This might cause the subject to become angry. The sentence, "if I can't have you, no one can" should be taken very seriously. If impotency is noted within the language, the unhealthy obsession's motive may emerge.

Assessing a threat level should always side on caution, but such things as impotence can increase anger.  When rapists are treated with certain anti-depressants, they can become impotent, which may increase rage, as the rape is both a violent and a sexual attack.

Parents are well warned to keep an eye out on the internet connections of their children. Deceptive people prey upon adults as well.

The more one writes, the more we may know of their true intentions, and, perhaps, some serious mental health issues prompting the obsessive behaviors.

Stalking is frightening, and online or "Facebook stalking" is as well.

Take threats seriously, and look carefully at the language.  Legal remedies can, sometimes, 'wake up' a stalker who has been living "in his own mind", that is, making things much bigger in his mind than ever were in reality, and "cold water" thrown on him might help. If you write back to him, make your rejection short, without qualifying language such as "I think..." and "perhaps...", which could leave him with "hope."

Make it short, but also polite.  There is no need to anger someone unnecessarily.

If this does not work, be prepared to take legal steps, including a court order.  If the subject has a job and some responsibilities in life, he will not appreciate the notoriety and may apologize and back down.  If you are forced to go this route, take screen shots of the correspondence. This is not only useful testimony, but can counter any claim that you "led him on", since your rejection response is short, strong, and polite.

Of course, if the subject is deranged, and does not have responsibilities (like a job) and has "nothing to lose", your affidavit to the court becomes the wall of legal protection from the stalker, and not all subjects care about what the law says.  This becomes time for local police involvement.

The "local" will be not only your "local", but the stalker's local law enforcement.  Oftentimes you will find caring officers who will contact the subject's local law enforcement for you, and get information on the subject.  At times, the subject will be known to local law enforcement and they may know if a verbal threat to "stay away" is enough, or if more drastic efforts are needed for protection.  They are your best resource.

Not all internet obsession is romantic.

Whether it is a picture you have posted, or a blog entry, or (and this happens more frequently than we might realize), you are in the news, for whatever reason, you may become the target of someone's obsessive behavior.

When a child goes missing, for example, the "groupies" will emerge, often in hostile, anti-police standards, appearing sympathetic with the parents, but are seeking relevancy and importance through the pain and anguish of another.  They may seek to create an "us versus them" scenario where the subject "understands you" and "police are not helpful", with the need to create a unity via "bad guy" mentality.  (a typical tactic by demagogues, who need a "Hitler" to fight against, truth be damned).

The subject may appear caring and concerned until you do not respond quickly enough, or do something that reminds them of their inconsequential status.

We all need to feel needed, but the stalker takes this to a level that is dangerous.

Although the movie was about as awful as could be, "Girl Gone" highlighted this phenomena with "groupies" following a missing person's case, injecting herself into the case, and quickly snapping a "selfie"for relevancy.

If you become a target, for whatever reason, of a cyber-stalker, seek professional advice first, and if necessary,  professional intervention.

Truthful, harmless kind people think everyone else is truthful and harmless and kind.  It is not the reality.

If it is your business under threat, everything must be documented and saved.

If it is your children, there are still lots of fun activities that can be done, live and in person, rather than online.

Remember:  playing online video games links the outside world with your children.  "Mine Craft" and playstation games put strangers, who may be posing as 12 year olds, in touch with your children. Remind them to never share personal information.  Google Earth shows the world your home, and even, perhaps, your vehicle.


Anonymous said...

As the anniversary of Hailey Dunn's disappearance (and murder) recently passed, I can't help but reflect on all of the bravado -- much of it from you, Peter -- about how Hailey must not be forgotten and how many people (talking to you, Gooch and Wacker) SWORE they would never give up in their pursuit for justice. And yet, the only person who seems to be committed to that goal is her mother, who you all accused of murder.

Anonymous said...

there's an option on Google Earth to have your home and cars blurred out.

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord. Here we go again.

Billie Jean Dunn IS a murderer, among many other not so good qualities, you silly thing. Get a handle on it IF possible.

Anonymous said...

Emphasis on Anonymous's (11:28 am) use of the words "seems to be."

Buckley said...

I was stuck on "only person" which doesn't seem to include Anon. Unless, of course...

John Mc Gowan said...

And yet, the only person who seems to be committed to that goal is her mother,

John Mc Gowan said...

"And yet, the only person who seems to be committed to that goal is her mother,"


Possible missing or held back information ?

"the only person"

As pointed out above, gender neutral.

"seems to be committed"

No analysis needed ^

"to that goal is her mother,"


Distancing language.


This word intrigues me. Is the author a sporty "person" or aspires to be ?

"her mother,"

Distancing language. Title "yet" no name attached ?

trustmeigetit said...

Hey anon.... Again words but nothing to back it up.

How exactly is Billie committed to the goal?

We will be waiting for your reply...

Actually pretty sure you are Billie since liars can't just face their own lies...but I'll play along.

Won't hold my breath waiting for your response with facts to back your ramblings.

trustmeigetit said...

And John, your analysis cracks me up!

trustmeigetit said...

And I just realized....with Anon "aka" Billie... That..since she has been known to stalk Peters blog and is obsessive in her attempts to prove Peter wrong.. That she choose to post on this post...about obsessive and stalking behavior...

John Mc Gowan said...

Hi trustmeigetit

It's all good practice ;)

Buckley said...

The more I read it, the more I think it's too well written for BJD. Can she use words like "bravado"?

Anonymous said...

Nah.... I don't think that's one of her words, Buckley. That would be over her head. he hee

Anonymous said...

And I'll throw in that "I can't help but reflect" sounds like you're trying to avoid reflecting on Peter's analysis, hmm?

Anonymous said...

Let me be the first to reflect THIS on you Anon @11:28, 01/09; we ALL think Billie Jean is guilty for her part in sweet Haileys' murder and disposal, as well as her having been sexually brutalized; not only do we 'think' it, we KNOW it.

Anonymous said...

Seeking profeessional intervention is not an option where I live. They rely on the cyberstlkers and aggravated felony stalkers to promote their careers.

Granted, a boiled rabbit may not be found on the cookstove, but one could expect a rabbit head on the AC unit. Other dead animals as well.

In order to project a ghost being in the house, intense stalking and surveillance is needed to produce objects placed to let the stalkee know they are being watched and monitered as well as any one that visits such as relatives or friends.

Most recently my cyber stalker sought to let me know I'd watched Smokey and The Bandit on Youtube by leaving a toy TransAm near the light on my front porch. It went so far as to roll it in dirt to convince me it had been there for years and I'd never seen it before. (Just trying to get me to move my camera so they can damage my neighbor's car or perhaps steal the mail of another they think I might be able to see).

It's about fraud, extortion, theft and making people chronically ill. One stalker is thinking of becoming a jeweler but can't round up the proper supplies at the local hardware store.

Anonymous said...

Here's one wonderful mothers'attempt to have the home and cars blurred out: news/ local/ Victims-of-Mother-of-the-Years-Kathy-Rowe-Pranks-Home-Became-a-Prison -288106721.html

Anonymous said...

We have watchdog groups in my area that monitor online presence. If someone makes a comment on a media source, the watchdog tracks them down and leaves objects to let them know their mentality isn't wanted in the area. In doing so, they beleive they can control the "Klan" by damaging tires and leaving objects to let them know they are being watched.

They even monitor insurance claims, medical expenses, and grocery items. Their research includes taking mail, keeping it (possibly steaming it open then resealing it) and dropping it off at a suspected "Klan" members residence.

To provide to a perfect society, one is expected to teat feed every gang banger that wanders into the neighborhood to keep the cost of law enforcement at bay...even when they are attemting to damage security equipment....becase they are young and are not expected to know better. ( Some states require reading abilities at an early age; where I live it isn't expected until adulthood).

The older men groom the younger men in intimidation and how the "charity" work should be accomplished. Leaving a photo of ones genitals is on the list of to do items when getting a person to accept they are a member of the "Klan" and there's no denying it.

Another method is to steal house keys and reproduce them so all can have access to homes to "watch" and make sure no one commits a crime.

A person doesn't need to think-they will do it for you. Is your dog vacinations out-of-date? No worries. They hop the fence and pull of the old tag as a reminder. Need to take the dog for a walk? No worries. They'll just throw an old bone against the fence and have animal control take a look at the animal (if it makes it that far).

Worried about speeding in the area? They'll spread screws at the end of the driveway (can't have their little muchkins hit by a runaway vehicle when they could be out doing good deeds for mankind).

Thinking about having an argument with a family member? They'll be there to referee and psychoanalyze even if it does mean hacking into communications and threatening the lives of all involved.

They may even show up to inspect housing to make sure you are up-to-date and go through dumpsters to see if everyone is on the same page.

They may not be able to afford one themselves, but they drive cars worth half as much as the homes they are monitoring. They look good! The way they should. Like true success.The perfect society.

Anonymous said...

What is with the seemingly ill person who has been posting recently? Some of what they write it scary, some incomprehensible. I'm a lurker and have only seen this recently, so it must be from someone new or who has returned. The comment above is scary,, and so on-point to Peter's post.

Buckley said...

Yes, agreed. It'd be nice if everyone else picked a nickname so we can tell more of you apart and don't have to wonder. I don't think anyone has "Lurker" yet.

Anonymous said...

You know it is scary because you are more than a lurker online. You lurk outside people's homes, sit and stare, show up at work places and monitor family members. It gives you the power you can't find behind a keyboard. You don't pretend to be non-
English speaking well, and yet you continue the charade.

You are most likely the type to think it can hide a 20' vehicle behind a 6' wide evergreen and hack into a cellphone and listen into conversations while the other members of your "cult" cirlce the block and stare at the house while you appear to be no where around.

I, as well as others, do not want you in my home. People don't want you milling around the inside of their home while they are asleep even if you do think you need to remind me of what to do.

Stick to your conspiracy blogs and give them more mental illnesses than they already have. Your delusional thinking is statewide and not only scary but nauseating.

You are a criminal;not a high-brow intellectual.

The Lurker said...

Lol I have an ID but in case my post prompted an attack by said poster I was anonymous. We have 2 pet house rabbits, one for >8.5 yrs and I would be quite put out to find them on the stove! But I like your idea. I might add "The" in front in case others occasionally use it. I read Peter's posts (and your comments!) but am cautious abt what I put on the web in my name.

Anonymous said...

Yes you do have two Only because of a mistake with address and left an eye witness

Buckley said...

^^^ That is creepy and abusive and needs to be deleted.

Anonymous said...

Is ^^^ code for 666? Methinks you are another stalker working for Jesus and terrorisng people for a cause-to line your wallet.

My neighbor claims she found a dead rabbit in her back yard around 9 years ago. Not the same type, but she knows the year and season. Not decapitated, though.

She has lived in the area most her life. She is used to spying, snitching and causing general chaos for the good of the community. I, on the other hand, have never come to terms with it. She would turn on any family member or friend at the drop of a hat.

I am the type to sit ontop of the AC unit and wait for the person who called and was sitting outside to enter my space so I could get a good shot at them. And, I will drop them given the chance.

The only time I ever saw a cop patrol was when I killed the power and sat waiting. I had to wonder if someone else called them that saw the person or did the person call themselves.

When I installed the camera I saw two back-to-back drive past. One city and one state that lives in the neighborhood. Never saw them too concerned about the drunkeness and serving alchol to minors or the druggies nearby. Just concerned over my cameras.

Anonymous said...

Even a neighbor expressed concern because he thought a pervert might be watching his child. Never concerned about the drunken boys tearing up the area; never concerned with the drug dealers nearby. He also is never concerned someone may becoming into his backyard because he has two dogs-one of which has been in my backyard. Needless to say, he isn't at all concerned about his fence and hopes the childless neighbor behind him will pay for it all at his expense because he has children to support. I offered to GIVE him $1500 worth of fence and he rejected it. That says alot. A child could yank down his fence easy enough. He isn't at all concerned his child may be hurt by falling fence or an invading roque dog or some pervert stalking someone nearby.

Another showed up at a yard sale and made a comment that a neighbor should have warned he had cameras in his backyard because she might want to scratch her azz. I can only imagine he is trying to keep her drunken friends from planting objects on his property as well and could care less about her itchy azz.

Yet another harassed me as I was sitting up for the sale and told me that the three black boys I ran off while trying to destroy my cameras were young. I knew that because I still have video of it and my front door is still intact. Her opinion is:my property should be community property because other people have children with nothing to do. (They didn't even live in the neighborhood). It was of upmost importance to give me a piece of her mind instead of calling the police or running them off herself since she evidently was nearby when it happened and saw the whole thing.

I used to have a camera on an opposite conrner and could never figure out why the guttering was crushed. Apparently this trick has been pulled before. I have better things to do that watch the video each and everyday and that's what they want you to do so you can report back to them.

There's no end to how many people want their little Johnny f*ucked in the azz until his intestines are pouring out his throat so they can profit from social media or make new friends using terror as a bonding agent for the common good.

It's always for the welfare of the little children.