Monday, May 18, 2015

Missing or Decased Children and Psychics

If you were in law enforcement and you were desperate to solve a case, would you use a tool that has only a 50% chance of success?

Would you try a technique to get answers that had only a 25% chance of success?

Would you invest time and money into a technique, for example, that had less than 1% chance of success?

If desperate, you might. If you had limited resources, including time and money, you would likely choose the best means available to you that provided the best possibilities for success.

Would you invest your time, money and emotion into something that, over the course being test through  many years, gave odds of success that were ZERO?


What are the odds that a person claiming to have "psychic" or "intuitive" ability, that is, to gain knowledge outside the boundaries of human senses, finding a missing person?

                      Psychics have never solved a missing persons case.

Answer:   0

In fact, it is of better odds to play and win the Powerball lottery than it is to have a "psychic" guess where a missing child is.  You'd more likely win the Powerball this week, next week and the week after, than to have a 'psychic' guess where the missing person is.

What of the "visions", or the "intuitive communication" or the "remote seeing" that goes on?

When a child goes missing, the parent faces more than any of us are able to articulate fairly.  In fact, in interviewing parents of missing children, no one parent seems to be able to fully share their suffering.

I can only use my imagination, as a father and now a grandfather, to what it must be like.

When my little girl was born, I held her as she needed holding.
 I fed her when she was hungry.
 I changed her when she was messy.
I bathed her when she needed cleaning.
I put a band aid on her knee when she fell, and with hugs and kisses, I made it all better.
When she was afraid of the dark, I held her and taught her to pray and to trust.
When she was learning to write, I helped her spelling, and I helped her math and her reading.

In fact, I met her needs, sometimes hour by hour, minute by minute, so much the less to say, day after day, month after month, year after year.

Had she gone "missing", I would have suffered in ways I do not know if humans can fully express.

I know that having always been able to "fix" anything and everything she faced, I can only imagine what the utter helplessness and frustration must be like.

If I have been frightened many times by her climbing on a ladder at the playground, or running, or skating, or the other 1001 ways in which children frighten us,

what kind of fear would I face if I did not know:

Who has her?
What is she doing?
Who is meeting her needs?
Is she okay?
Does she have her blankie?
Who prays with her at night?
Who knows her most secret fears like I do?

Is she suffering?
Does she think I have betrayed her?
Does she think I am not "dad" anymore, and I can "fix" this?
Does she think I am not looking for her?

In other words, there is no end to my questioning, and there is no one on earth, not her mother, not the police, not the district attorney...not anyone, who can answer a single one of my questions.

I am not simply facing the unknown, which is scary enough:

I am facing my missing child who is facing the unknown.

I am utterly impotent, without strength, ability, understanding, and cannot do what I have always done:  fix it.

 Psychics claim to answer the questions I have posed above; questions that no human can answer.

I would gladly give my life to have my daughter no longer missing, but home safe.  Gladly and without hesitation.

It is here, at the most vulnerable and lowest point in life that "psychics" swoop down and prey upon the lost broken hearted parent.

There are several things you should know about "psychics."

1.  There is no such thing as a "psychic."

They do not possess "inside" knowledge.  They do not know where your child is.  They do not communicate with your child, or with your dead aunt Polly. There is no evidence to even hint that they communicate with anyone outside the scientifically understood means of  our senses.  There is no skill that they posses that allows them to supersede, or counter the limitation of human sensory understanding.  Modern day "gnostics", they make claims that are no different than those who claim that the law of gravity is not enforceable upon them.  Let them jump if they will, they will fall to the ground.  So it is that the laws of nature are not suspended nor negated because one claims them to be so and that they can obtain information outside of the carefully and marvelously designed human senses.

2.  Their language does not proceed from experiential memory. 

This means that they are liars. 

Liars destroy.  Liars tear apart.  Liars seek their own benefit above all others, all the time, under all circumstances.  Even when they feign to do something that appears to be generous, it is a red herring and an attempt to close the deal with you.  "I usually charge quite a lot.  Police love my work, but for you, I will volunteer..."  This is to show how magnanimous and "above suspicion" they are.

True enough, some investigators may be desperate enough to "bring in a psychic" but should be reminded that the missing child and time are two elements that cannot be excluded from each other:  and one has a better statistic going for them on winning the Powerball than from a liar's best guess work.  Don't be taken in at the offer of "no charge", or the reference to "police."  If you need more, ask, "which officer, which department and which case" and make the call.

When an attorney has the nerve to charge several hundred dollars an hour, and people pay it, it very well may be that he or she is that good.

Statement Analysis will conclude 100% of the time that the psychic is either using passivity ("She is dark, afraid, I see water...water and scared...") or they will use language that will come from a movie, book, song, etc, but not from the missing person.

They are liars.

3.  They are narcissists.  

They consider themselves "special" and "different" than others and have a desperate need to prove this to others.  Like snake oil salesmen, they peddle their lies to anyone who will listen (and pay) but in this case, they have the claim of being "the only one" (until they join Facebook and they see thousands of other "only ones" to join with them), and they will say and do anything to input themselves into a case that just might make the press.

Their personality is set from childhood and it will not change.  They have a driving need for their own selves and will fill it at the expense of anyone and everyone.

You may think they are caring, especially if they cry for your child, but ultimately, they are speaking to you to fleece you, emotionally, financially, or simply for the potential for fame, or for another reason;

The desperate need to be relevant.

The narcissist has a need to be seen as special, and great, and marvelous, and unique...and on and on.

There is no "psychic school" where people are "taught" how to access information outside of the human senses.

Even if you have been convinced they are "on my side", recognize that their claim to access information outside of the human senses, itself, is a lie.  Whether they are self-deceived or not, makes little difference to the broken-hearted parent who has more vulnerability to suggestion than anyone of us can possible understand.

The language of "psychics", that is, those who claim such "powers" does not proceed from experiential memory.

They are liars who, like all liars, live for their own selves, and will bring harm and heartache to you.

Statement Analysis of the words of psychics show deception or passivity; but do not show what they claim.  One might think that with all the thousands who claim to have such amazing ability would, with all the missing person cases and all the guesses that could be made, to have been credited with at least one find.

Yet, they are on "reality" TV shows and they still prey upon the vulnerable loved ones of missing or deceased persons, desperate for any connection.

I do not blame the loved ones.  I have never been so utterly vulnerable in my life, and I hope I never am.

The ones who have tagged "healings" to their deception prey upon another group who are vulnerable:  chronic pain patients.

Sometimes they supplant trained therapists, as well, claiming to "heal the spirit" of the hurting person.  They prey upon the vulnerable.

I do blame the deceptive charlatans who cannot find another means to find self worth other than at the expense of their victims.

On the flip side of things:  While seeking to protect vulnerable families from "psychics", I do want to recognize that those who make such wild claims as to be able to obtain information suspending the laws of nature do, themselves, be in a position where professional intervention is needed.

However, it is, first and foremost, a call for them to leave hurting families alone.

A woman once said to me, upon the death of her grown son,

"I never thought I would out-live one of my children.  I don't wish it upon anyone."

She, too, needed protection from those who claimed to be able to communicate with her son.  Her urge to hear from him was overwhelming.

A young widow who lost her husband faced the same thing.  The memory of his words was such a powerful force to her that she felt as if he was "in the room" talking to her.

Soberly, she was able to recognize the power of his love and the memory of him, and not fall prey to "Give me $100 and I will have your husband communicate with you" in her most acutely vulnerable state.

Those who have such personality issues do face a particular issue:

When confronted, they often bite back.

This is similar to the pattern of liars that is used in the interview and interrogation:  the challenge.

The liar, or in this case, the psychic, believing himself or herself "immensely special" will become angry when challenged and often strike back in vicious ways, to protect herself from being seen for what she is:  one in desperate need to feel important in this life.

The liar has gotten away with it for years; since childhood, thereby, holding the audience (us) in contempt, as not smart enough to catch them.

The 'psychic' is the same way.

The 'psychic' can come unglued when her words are analyzed and found to be deceptive.

If there is anyone in this world who is not up for the task of self protection from such anger, it is the loved ones of missing or deceased loved ones.

Recall how heartbreaking it was for Terry Elvis to process his own personal hell, while still protecting his family from attacks upon Heather?

It was unbearable.

The supporters of Heather's killers, along with anyone with a computer who felt the need to be recognized, opened fire upon this good man, and even his young daughter, to project their own inadequacies upon him, adding suffering to his suffering.

Disagreeing with a narcissistic type is akin to breaking their mirror.

It crushes their 'god', that is, their principle passion in life.

Their entire world comes unglued and they can even become a threat to others.  This, too, is similar to the pattern of what a liar can do to a business, family, organization, or society, itself.  No one knows how far they will go.

Many thought Lance Armstrong had cleaned himself out in his mea culpa with Oprah. Statement Analysis showed he was still deceptive.

Recently, he was being pulled over and pushed his girlfriend under the wheels of the bus, lying as if she was the driver.

There is no bottom for him.

The psychic is lying about his or her words, visions, dreams, communications, etc.  This means the psychic holds you and I "in contempt", that is, she expects us to believe her, and to challenge her is not to challenge her words, but to challenge her reason to live, her very existence and purpose in life.

This is not taken well, and often leads to hostility.  Where this hostility exhausts itself is anyone's guess.  It can become dangerous, however, including stalking, cyber-stalking, seeking to damage one's reputation, and so on.

Rare is the case where the 'psychic ' says, "we disagree and part as such" without further animosity.

If someone does not like this article, they will openly say so.  If someone disagrees with analysis from a specific case, they will say so and often cite where they believe I am off.  If someone disagrees with a political view in the article, that, too, comes out.  But these are disagreements with ideas and thoughts expressed, and even words employed.

They are not wholesale condemnation of me, or of any person.

For the 'psychic', the rejection is deep, powerful and very personal.

In this article, I am claiming that not only do the statistics of 0 out of everything, prove my point, but that the very analysis of words of psychics show that they are not speaking from experiential memory:  that is, they are not telling the truth.

This is to challenge their very existence and purpose for living.

They, too, need help.

How many former cult leaders say, "Gee, I was wrong."?

Instead, they crash and burn, or go off and spend their money elsewhere.  To say, "You misled people, you twisted sound religious doctrine, you..." is to attack who they believe they are, as a person.  It is not, "You're a good enough fellow, but you were wrong about this or that..." but to waive this person's entire existence into the one thing that humans cannot bear:

being of no consequence.

Therefore, be protective of the vulnerable, but know the element of which you are dealing with, should your loved one fall prey to one of these, online, or in person.

Every town seems to have at least one open for business.

Only one study of the words of a "psychic" ever showed truth, in a training:

He had volunteered his information because he had "dreams" of the murder.  At one point, there is a change in language and he is truthful.

It was because he was the killer.

When it is a deceased child, the 'psychic' re-victimizes the loved ones, over and over, by interrupting the grieving process.

For long-term readers, this is not the first time you've read about psychics here, and for seminar attendees, you've been given more detail as well.

The analysis applied to all statements is done in the same manner, using the same principle. When it is applied to the statements made by 'psychics', it is "deception indicated" and sometimes even the genesis of the wording becomes evident, including movie quotes or lines, or popular books.  It is  form of deception, but one in which the intended target is most open  to harm.


Unknown said...

I thought about this kind of deception the other day, when the new Natalie Holloway 'eye-witness' story broke. Natalie's dad jetted down to Aruba with search dogs to try to find her in the spot he referenced, and was stopped by 'officials'.

Bless his heart, I can't blame him. I HIGHLY doubt the so-called witness' story, but I imagine if I were in her Dad's position, I would do the same thing. It's heartbreaking to see her parents still desperate for answers they will likely never get. These types of deception are so cruel.

trustmeigetit said...

Regarding Natalie... Why do officials seem to be putting up road blocks to this poor family. It's not the first time.

And then this article...I think the most blatant proof of physics being frauds is Sylvia Brown here's end. Possible one of the most famous ones..

She told Amanda Berrys mother that she was dead. Oops...

Yet she still charges hundreds of dollars for a reading..

When it was addressed that she was wrong, her only response is that she can't always be right.

So then why charge several hundred dollars?

PeskyVarmt said...

When my son died, I was HOUNDED by psychics. One I had to block from ALL my social networks, including my aol mail! One woman called me and started telling me that my son had spoken to her. She said he was standing in a field of daffodils. I had written a poem about my son in a field of daffodils, only, they weren't daffodils, they were weeds, and I changed it.

These kind should be ashamed. >:(

gbouwman said...

Thankyou for this statement. I think it is so sad that there really are vultures out there to prey on victims over the loss of their loved ones. A loved one that would do anything to just hear their voice again and do what it takes to want to believe in these"psycics". For what? Of course $$ and feeding their narissim. So sad.

Anonymous said...

This is one of your best article EVER Peter, if not THE best~~ !

Sad that good unsuspecting people still fall prey to these great lairs and deceivers; the lowest of the low....

Skeptical said...

The premise that "psychics" use is ridiculous. If a spirit was coming through from the other side, they would definitely identify themselves if they went to all the trouble to connect. There would be no need for all the inane questions to get a reaction from the subject to get a reading on their body language.

Anonymous said...

What this proves Skeptical, is that unsuspecting people who fall prey to psychics and soothsayers have not read the holy scriptures; or either they do not believe them. God warns us throughout many passages not to call up the spirits of the dead.

If it were not possible to call up the spirits of the dead, or what appears to be the spirits of the dead; God would not have warned us not to do it. However, the holy scriptures also warn us that these spirits are deceitful in all their ways and that we are not to be turned aside by them. These spirits do have some power but their power comes from the great deceiver who is here to rob, kill and destroy, and is not of God.

If God and the Holy Scriptures are to be believed (which I do), there is a great wrath coming upon those who perform these practices and those who follow them.

C5H11ONO said...

Peter, I was tasked with booking a workshop at a nice beachside hotel in Tampa. After reading one of the reviews that appears for the Don Cesar hotel, I believe I've made my decision to host the event there. Enjoy the reader's review as there are many of your lessons all neatly packaged in one written statement here. I believe the person writing this review was trying to get a free parking pass because they stayed at the hotel and was upset his trick didn't work. Good for the hotel. What we say in the negative is very important...
Note the rude "gentlemen" that greeted him/her. Enjoy all you SA enthusiasts:
“How to Lose Clientele”
The Don Cesar is one of the most beautiful hotels in all of Florida. The shimmering pools, the mesmerizing architecture, the beautifully landscaped grounds-they all create what should be a magical experience.
However, when that same hotel employs a staff that is, for the most part, unwelcoming (no greeting at from the two gentlemen holding the main door—and you consider yourself a 4-star hotel? That is downright laughable), unhelpful, and even rude—yes RUDE, to people who are spending money in their establishment—that can turn the same aesthetically pleasing hotel into an unpleasant mess.

The crux of my dissatisfaction with this hotel was fully realized when I tried to leave. The parking attendants made me pay the exorbitant parking fee of $26.75 because I went over the 3-hour allotment for free parking one receives if they eat in one of their restaurants. The water at the restaurant said our parking would be validated and made no mention of the 3-hour limit. I put the ticket in my pocket without looking at it and went about my day. I was then harassed by parking attendants who wouldn’t let me pass without paying the fee. That falls on your waiter, who of course denied it. It’s my word against the corporatin’s and we all know who wins that.
Youd’ think companies like Loews would see the big picture. Instead of returning to this hotel, and certainly spending more money than a measly $26.75, I will never return and dissuade everyone I know from setting foot in their hotel. Over that incident? Yes. It is most certainly the principle of the matter.
But by all means, enjoy the view of the hotel from a distance. She’s a beauty.
Stayed May 2015, traveled as a couple
Signed: Mike W, Tampa, Florida.

Anonymous said...

Mike W, I have stayed at the Don Cesar; also was at the Don Cesar near Tampa just a few years ago to pick up my son who had been assigned to do a media job there, and I certainly didn't consider it so grand or beautiful. Nor was the restaurant we ate in magnificent or anything above average. Not sure it was even average. I don't recall a problem with the parking, (will take your word for it); but the hotel itself is highly overrated.

The Don Cesar needed some serious updating, also the area around and getting to it is not attractive at all, not even average. We've stayed at and eaten at much better places; yes, in Florida.

John Mc Gowan said...
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Betty Boop said...

I have a friend who believes he was in a relationship with a "real" psychic for several years, more than a decade ago. Based on many OTHER things I have heard about this (third) individual, I don't trust anything she told my friend about her "history" and have verified some of my doubts via free online databases.

I feel that my friend, a kind and generous soul, was taken advantage of by this woman, who was significantly older, and who was living in poverty, and on the brink of eviction when they met. Because of his firm belief in her "psychic powers" and a desire to be love and be loved, He was willing to overlook a LOT of red flags.

She had no contact with any of her family, for reasons that will become clear if you bear with me, nor did she have any "old friends," claiming she had social anxiety and concerns about her physical appearance that prevented her from making friendships. She claimed to have been married years prior to a man who she could not locate (after being estranged for 7 years) to divorce in order to marry my friend when he asked, although she insisted on him purchasing a very expensive diamond engagement ring and wedding band set that he really could not afford.

A search shows NO marriage license ever issued in her name, and the "married name" she provided is inconsistent with the name on court records relating to writing bad checks just prior to their meeting, except that it was listed as an "alias" with her birth name listed as her ACTUAL name. When he knew her, she was using yet another false name, which she admitted she had made up to avoid being found by her incestuous relative. This name is ALSO listed among her aliases.

During the short time they were together, she was diagnosed with numerous medical problems she was apparently unaware of when they met. I am somewhat skeptical about even that information, and have suspicions that she was aware of her health issues when they met, or at least that something was wrong, even if it had not been diagnosed. During the relationship, my friend worked several jobs to pay for her medical care, and many frivolous indulgences she claimed she needed him to buy her to prove he was in it for the long haul and would not "desert her like everyone else had", and because he wanted to make up for the years of bad luck and bad relationships she claimed she'd endured prior to their meeting. (to be continued)

Betty Boop said...

Part Two:
She passed away after just a couple of years, but he has refused to date for many years because he is still, many years later, convinced they had a special and unique bond that connects them in a way even death can't unbind. This makes it impossible for him to give up the long-held belief in the stories he was told.

My friend believes he was responsible for her death, although (by all accounts) her demise was a direct result of her actions in attempting to make him feel guilty after an argument, at which time she locked herself in her (separate) bedroom for a few days, stopped taking her medications, and refused to eat. Due to the nature of her health issues this was most likely the last straw. She left him with over $50K in debt which took him years to negotiate down to where he was able to pay. He never made any attempt to contact her birth family or her (supposed) estranged husband. There was no obituary published, and the cemetery does not have her listed under any of the names I know she used, although my friend visits it often to talk to her and leave flowers. For all intents and purposes, IF there was an estranged husband, he would have no idea his spouse was deceased, and that he was free to remarry. Also, it seems that, legally, my friend did not have a right to retain her possessions upon her death... they should have gone to her spouse if he was still living.

Throughout their relationship, he believed they were trying to conceive a child together. Although she was 39 when they met, and claimed to have been raped by a relative from the age of 4 to 21. I normally do not doubt those who claim to have been incest victims, but I would expect that the alleged sexual assaults beginning at age 4 would almost certainly have affected her ability to bear children later, coupled with the fact that she did not become pregnant as a result of said assaults leaves me wondering if she was capable of conceiving.

She told him she had gone to a doctor who told her there was no reason she could not have a child. Considering the dual diagnoses of diabetes and cancer, along with the cancer treatments and advanced maternal age, I am hard pressed to believe a doctor told her this. My friend was led to believe their inability to get pregnant was due to a failure on HIS part, a factor which prevented him considering marriage after she passed, as much as he wanted children of his own (he came from a large family, some of whom questioned her motives from the start), as he thought HE was the cause of their fertility issues, though he was still in his 20s and a man's fertility is not impacted by age to the degree a woman's is.
(to be continued)

Betty Boop said...

Part Three:
Should I tell him he was (most likely) "scammed" by her? On the one hand, I feel it might relieve him of some of the guilt he has carried all these years, but on the other, it will destroy his image of her as a woman who just couldn't get a break until he came along and rescued her. It may also cause him to regret the decision not to find a wife after she died so he could start the family he always wanted but believed (on her word alone, having never been tested himself since she said it was unnecessary as she had been checked out, and the problem HAD to lie with him) he could not have. He's now entering his 50s, and has no desire to find a much-younger mate, so that ship has sailed without him.

There is also the possibility that he has SO MUCH riding on her having been truthful that he may "shoot the messenger" even if he knows somewhere deep down that she (at least) exaggerated some of the time.

I do not know if he suspects her of lying, he may have figured it out on his own, but be unwilling to "speak ill of the dead" and would therefore be forced to defend her if anyone doubted her integrity in his presence.

I know that during their relationship, he caught her hiding bills, and secretly pawning jewelry that he bought her to begin with, and was forced to buy back from the pawn shop when she was unable to redeem the items, but can't seem to accept that she may have lied to him about other things as well. We have friends in common who share my concerns, but their friendships with him have been taxed by their doubts about her.

Does anyone want to weigh in on this? The mere fact that she presented herself as psychic (not like on psychic hotlines, but a REAL psychic, which she "proved" by telling him things she "couldn't have known") tells me a lot about her character (or lack thereof) and Peter's periodic analysis of psychics supports my concerns that she destroyed a man's life through her actions. It's too late to confront her, but should her ex-boyfriend be allowed to continue to believe her stories for the preservation of his own sanity?

BallBounces said...

I KNEW you were going to write this post!

Unknown said...

How terribly sad! Your friend's entire life trajectory was altered by his relationship with this woman. I hope she was telling him the truth about the trauma she claimed, because the losses he suffered are so profound, that if it was all nothing but lies, the injustice she perpetrated upon him is horrifying!

That said, she likely was lying, (and obviously not a psychic). I say this due to her history of being charged with forging checks, using aliases, etc, and her use of manipulating 'psychic' tactics. Someone who is capable of that kind of deception, and fraud against others, is capable of other types as well.

As for whether you should confront your friend with your concerns, that's a really tough question.

From what you describe, I assume he must suspect that she was deceiving him about certain issues, yet he has proven (by his actions) that he prefers not to acknowledge this, and that he does not want to move on despite the obvious end of their relationship. (I say this under the assumption that he is aware of her aliases, lack of marriage license, etc?)

It may be that to acknowledge her deceptions would make his sacrifices unbearable for him, and therefore it's easier to believe that he 'saved her', and made her remaining time on earth special.

Or, perhaps it's easier for him to feel safe "in mourning", and not having to put himself out there, because he 'believes' in a continued connection with her.

Whatever his feelings about the matter, sadly there is probably nothing you can do to change them. I hope whatever happens, he can move on and find peace, and happiness in the life he has left. At 50, he could still find a companion, and live a fulfilling life. There are many children who need love, he could foster a child, or adopt.

Anonymous said...


I am curious to hear your thoughts on this, then, please?

Anonymous said...


Would you please analyze this woman's statement? She seems sincere, but you would know best.


Unknown said...

I read the article you shared Pineapple, and then I looked up the name of the murdered girl who she claims to have helped find.

This article outlining the sentencing hearing states that the killer's friend, (who helped him bury the body) led the police to her body. It also says that search dogs did NOT hit on the area her body was buried. All of the information the 'psychic' reports, including her location, the proximity to the suspects 'sometimes' home, the concrete, etc., has been available online since 2005. The article also uses some of the exact same language that she used in her description. It's also worth noting that no officer/investigator from the case validates her involvement, (at least not that I've been able to find.) and she pre-explains why the police don't give credit to psychics, claiming it's because they don't want to take heat for wasting tax payers money.

"Howley was missing for four years before a friend of MacMichael's led police to her remains in woods south of the Delaware County line, near a house where MacMichael sometimes lived with his father.

What happened to Howley's body came out in court for the first time yesterday. Assistant County Prosecutor James Lowe said MacMichael killed Howley, 20, after a domestic fight in June 2004, then he and a friend buried her in a shallow grave and MacMichael poured quick-setting concrete over her body.

The area was searched, but dogs never hit on her scent, Lowe said.

The friend, Garret Kalish, came forward this year and led police to Howley's body. Kalish died of an accidental drug overdose weeks later."

John Mc Gowan said...
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Anonymous said...

Interesting article John, from your post at 12:48 a.m. However, I would not spend five seconds reading or pondering this type of evangelism deceit. Derren Brown isn't the only one of these powerful so-called Christian hucksters who claims these special powers.

It was just a few short years ago that I heard the well-known electronic preacher, Benny Hinn, who has multitudes of masses following to his huge healing services all over the world, proclaim in one of his healing services on television, that he prays at the crypt of Kathryn Kuhlman, another well-known deceased electronic preacher, and that her spirit speaks to him and this is where he gets his healing power. (BTW, I have also seen him falling-down-drunk at one of his massive healing services on television, where his slurred speech had to be completed for him, being held up by attendants. Maybe it is those spirits who give him his healing powers?)

I don't know much about Kathryn Kuhlman or what persuasive tendencies she possessed during her lifetime, but I do know that Benny Hinn is not receiving any healing power from her crypt or anyone elses, and that this practice is directly against the teachings of the holy scriptures.

We are warned repeatedly against these modern-day charlatans no matter how prosperous and successful they appear to be, and this includes Derren Brown. They are just another form of psychic reader/soothsayer, deceiving the masses for personal gain, claiming special powers that they do not have. Peter is correct. There are no exceptions.

Betty Boop said...

Jen Ow,

He is aware she was using an alias when he met her, as she was (she claimed) so agoraphobic she could not leave the house to work, and was employed by a "phone sex" line. She told him she had tried to get a job with Psychic Network and they wouldn't hire her, which she felt was really unfair since they employed a lot of people who were NOT psychic and she actually WAS psychic and could not get hired. Ha!

He met her when she called his place of work, and continued calling just to chat for hours (he worked an overnight shift when things were slow).

She refused to meet him in person for a month or more, claiming she had trust issues. When they met, she was morbidly obese (150 pounds overweight) and had a mouthful of bad teeth. Her apartment was a pigsty, because she said she was unable to make herself go outside to take out the trash. Her dental health was similarly explained as being due to her fear of leaving the house to see a dentist. There was no explanation offered as to how she got groceries or any other day-to-day things that involve leaving the house. I have not pressed for an answer on that issue, since I feel it may begin the collapse of the house of cards that she built and he has maintained for half his life. Unless and until I am ready to present him with the "big picture" I don't want to open that can of worms.

In any case, the "alias" she used then was one she admitted to having made up to protect her identity due to the nature of her work, which made sense. She did not hesitate to tell him her birth name, and claimed she'd been named for an glamorous actress, who a quick check of IMDB shows had not yet appeared in a film when she was born.

He was in an entry level job, but he paid to have all her teeth pulled and dentures made, and got her a new apartment, clothes, TV set and furniture after she was evicted. I have some doubts here too... Let me add that (she said) she was evicted for having written a bad check (out of desperation) for the rent, and was in jail for 30 days when the eviction took place.

According to court records (which is where I located the various aliases, and became convinced that her legal name at that time was her birth name) she DID write TWO bad checks for over $1,000 apiece, but that was 5 years before she met my friend, and while they did catch up with her 2 years later and sentence her to 30 days in jail, this was all done and over with 3 years prior to them meeting.

She claimed her belongings were left outside by the landlord while she was in jail, and were stolen. Somehow she managed not to lose her pets - they did not wander off, nor were they taken into custody of Animal Control upon her "eviction". Hmm...

When he asked her to marry him (just weeks after meeting), she was very specific about the ring she wanted, which cost about half what he made in a year. He bought it and she quickly asked him to take it back and have additional diamonds added to the mounting. He did.

When the time came to apply for a marriage license, she told him she couldn't. She explained that she had been married to a man whose last name was almost identical to her birth name a decade before because her mother was dying and she wanted to make her happy.


Tania Cadogan said...

Psychics interest me.
There is much about the brain we do not yet know or understand so it is possible that there are times when someone knows something before it happens.

The vast majority,99% are con artists.
The celeb psychics are the most blatant.
Think about it.
If you really could converse with the dead as claimed, then they could tell you their name, address, how they died and all sorts of information known only to the 'spirit' and the recipient.

Instead i see them say i have a woman with a name beginning with M, sounds like Mary, or Mhari.
They get a hit and hundreds raise their hands (this happened in ireland)

Then they go round the houses with the name until the recipient says the name eg Margaret.
Then we get the she passed with her chest (psychic touches her own chest and says she feels pressure)
All the time the psychic gives vagu7e hints and the recipient fills in the blanks and then later on the psychic repeats back what the recipient has told them phrased slightly differently.
Then we get the they love and miss you , blah blah blah and everyone goes home happy.

If it were me, i would be asking full name, address and other specifics since they claimed o be talking to one of my relatives.

What happens as well for the well known ones is they have the audience fill in forms before the show under the guise of whatever, they have people out looking in the obits etc and visiting houses to get info, and, one well known female, was caught using an earpiece on stage, something she denied (poorly)

Betty Boop said...

He knows she was using an alias for phone sex work. He knew her birth name, and believed her other alias was her married name. As far as I can determine, she was never married at all.

The man she named as her first husband had a fairly unusual name, making it easy to find information online about him. It appears he is a real person who was in the midst of a divorce at the time she met my friend. He remarried and divorced again prior to her death, which contradicts her assertion that SHE could not marry due to their status as husband and wife in the eyes of the law.

She claimed not to have seen her husband in years and said that the last she had known he'd been incarcerated for drug crimes, however I have searched the judicial records and nobody with that name has had more than a traffic ticket.

After contacting an attorney to find out how she could obtain a divorce, my friend was convinced it would be too costly, so they had a "commitment ceremony" that was not a legal marriage, and he began to refer to her as his wife. In fact, he still does, more than 20 years after her death.

My friend does NOT know that:
-The check she bounced was not one check, it was two checks on two different people's accounts
-The bounced checks that landed her in jail predate them meeting by several years and could not have resulted in her eviction
- She was almost certainly never married but altered the spelling of her name for some unknown reason and explained this away as her married name, which ALSO prevented them entering into a legal marriage

He DOES know:
- That she didn't have a pot to piss in when they met
- That she had written bad checks "because she did not know what else to do"
- That she accepted his proposal and ring in spite of her as-yet undisclosed marriage within weeks of meeting him
- That she spent compulsively and without regard for their finances, occasionally hiding purchases, credit card bills, and utility turn-off notices, and pawning jewelry he'd bought her without his knowledge to pay a large bill she had run up calling (get this) a PSYCHIC HOTLINE!
- That he had to buy the jewelry back because she had "misunderstood" the cost of redeeming it from the pawnbroker and could not get it back on her own
- That she had purchased an inexpensive cubic zirconia ring from QVC that was nearly identical to the engagement ring he bought her, but with a slightly larger center stone

She claimed she bought the "fake" ring because she was afraid her real one would be stolen when she went shopping (what happened to her agoraphobia?) but I suspect she bought it to conceal the fact that she had pawned the REAL ring. She would presumably be at a greater risk of being robbed wearing a ring that appeared to be MORE valuable than the real one was. If I was really concerned about someone stealing my engagement ring when i went out, I'd leave it at home and just wear my wedding band.

Betty Boop said...

He never doubted her because he is a good and honest man and assumes other people are too. He never questioned her estrangement from her birth family, because she told him it was due to the molestation she had endured for 17 years. This prevented him making contact with them even to let them know when she died, or she might have gotten the truth years ago.

Even now, in spite of one of his siblings dealing with fertility issues due to advanced maternal age, he has never connected the dots and realized that his "wife" was older at the time they were together than his family member was at the time her issues came to light 10 years later.

You hit the nail on the head when you said his "entire life trajectory was altered by his relationship with this woman" as he has been unable to "move on" from the loss.

My working theory is that he was a "mark". She intended to take him for whatever she could, asking for a very expensive ring she could sell later, in spite of the "fact" that she was already married. She used the psychic gambit to forge a false bond with him, and the stories of her childhood molestation and previous marriage to a drug dealer for sympathy to strengthen that connection. Since she'd dodged the issue of legally marrying my friend, she would be able to walk away scot-free at the end of the con. I think she knew she could not conceive a child, or at least that her fertility was compromised by her age and her childhood trauma. It is even possible that she was using birth control to ensure she would NOT become pregnant, while using his desire for a family to keep him by her side by claiming to want the same. Blaming him for their failure to have a child made him believe he could not have children with ANYONE, and that that would be a dealbreaker with any other women he might be interested in from that day to this. He was probably grateful to her for staying with him in spite of his presumed sterility. When she became ill (diabetes first, followed soon after by cancer) she may have feared he would leave her, but had painted herself into a corner that would not allow her to legally marry him to keep him close.

To his credit, he cared for her when she was at home, provided for her even when doing so put him deeply in debt, and paid for two graves, a headstone, a casket, and her burial, and spent most of the next decade paying her medical bills and credit card debt for accounts she took out jointly with him, without his knowledge.

Tania Cadogan said...

Hi Betty Boop
I hate when i read tales an bout people such as your friend who have had their lives ruined by the acts of one person.
His life was dmaged from the moment he met her, and, even now that she is gone, his life is still controlled by her actions.

I wish i could take him in my arms, give him a huge hug and say don't worry, it will be alright.
I would tell him the truth, explaining that yes he may not want to hear it, yes it will be painful, it always is when you find out someone you loved is not who you thought they were.
It is likely he suspects some of the truth if not all, yet, like most of us, we don't want to admit we were fooled.
We don't like feeling like idiots, we don;t like being thought of as gullible.

He may feel no one wants him because he thinks he cannot have kids.
You are loved for who you are, not what you can do or not do.
There are many women out there who cannot have kids and feel as he does, not wanted, a failure.
There are women out there who have never wanted kids, myself included, who would be happy to meet someone like him.

He sounds an amazing man and a wonderful friend.

What happened in the past makes us the people we are today.

I hope he does meet someone who will love him for who he is, meanwhile he has an amazing friend in you.

Thank you for all you have done for him.
Many wouldn't

Anonymous said...

What would be the point? He is obviously dealing with complicated grief. Do you think compelling him to believe he was never loved by her and perhaps damaging his ability trust women or his own judgment will help? It seems to me that you are uncomfortable with his grief and would feel better if he moved on. But this is not about you or what yoy want for him. This is about what he needs to cope and process his own grief experience. It is his life and odds are he knows himself better than you. Odds are good. Let this man choose to see her the way he needs to see her to get through this. You may trust that it is a choice, he is consciously making it whether he will admit it ir not and most importantly the choice is his. No on else has the right to take his grief experience or coping mechanism away from him.
A widow

Betty Boop said...

He is grieving a 3 year relationship that, by all accounts wasn't great at the time, but that he has romanticized for 20 years. He should probably have seen a counselor long ago, but hasn't. If he had, it is likely that, through counseling, he'd have come to the same conclusion I have.
Most of the people who know him (family and friends) never understood why he was so gullible, when her explanations for things she'd done were so outrageous. Caught hiding bills, she say "I knew you'd be mad and I was afraid you would hurt me like (insert name here) did" card, so he COULDN'T be angry (especially when she was dying).
I feel bad for him because everyone rolls their eyes behind his back when he brings her up, or says he had a long (two-way) conversation with her a week ago at her grave. He sings her praises so often it is almost as if he is overcompensating. In some part of his mind, he MUST know some of this.
He still has a lot of years left on this planet and for him to spend the NEXT 20 alone is heartbreaking. He promised her before she died that their love would endure her death. Now he is just going through the motions of living, because of his belief that they are still married (although they never were at all, legally) and he would be committing adultery if he dated.
His apartment is full of her clothes, photos, and doll collection, although she never lived there, and she's still the voice on his answering machine.
He really needs to deal with her death (even if he doesn't want to deal with her life) because, as much as I understand that people grieve in their own way and at their own pace, this has been going on so long it doesn't seem healthy.

Anonymous said...

Missing and "Decased" Children?
I think Peter needs a spellchecker for Christmas!

Betty Boop said...

Anonymous (widow)
I want to apologize to you for my remarks earlier. I realize this is none of my business, and that I should not get involved, but most of the inconsistencies I have noted in the way he describes events just don't make sense chronologically, and it's hard to believe that this man, who has a brain the size of a planet has not put two and two together for himself. He is not computer-savvy and would never think to look her up or check online court records to confirm what she told him, particularly as it is all water under the bridge now that she has passed.
Accepting the truth would be difficult after investing 21 years in a lie, especially as he'd have no way to confront her about the mess she made of his life, and to tell her how much he has struggled with her death and the decision to seek (or not) a new romantic partner.
He admits to being lonely, but since he works at a profession that is "solitary" he has no contact with anyone except family and those of us he has known since college, and our various significant others.
Someone suggested "setting him up" with a friend, and he seemed interested at first, but they met at a group event and he found that he wasn't attracted to her.
I sometimes feel he really WANTS an excuse to move on, and confirming whatever doubts he has about the relationship with this woman would enable him to do so without guilt, however it is not my place to tell him, or even to tell one of his male friends so they can break it to him.
Obviously I have not approached him with any of what I know about her, although I have often wondered if I should. That is the reason I posted here, in addition to the fact that so much of what Peter said about self-proclaimed psychics being liars in other areas of their lives seems to be confirmed in this case.
I appreciate your opinion, although I was close to going with the recommendations of Jen and tania that he should be told until I read your opinion, and while I would like him to figure this stuff out for himself, I have no plans to tell him, tell a friend to tell him, or to "anonymously" mail him documents that would at least raise questions (all of which I had considered before reading the replies to my posts).
Because of your thoughts, and for the sake of my friendship with him, I will not mention it to him. If, however, he comes to me and asks for help verifying information about her, I assume it would not be inappropriate to assist him.