tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post6449940940940740596..comments2024-03-18T04:20:15.987-04:00Comments on Statement Analysis ®: Statement Analysis: Mother Takes to Jail to Make Statement Statement Analysis Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607372649929274491noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-49934852812803704862014-01-30T21:00:33.185-05:002014-01-30T21:00:33.185-05:00Not that it matters because this article is over a...Not that it matters because this article is over a year old, but this woman never turned herself in. There are now warrants out for her arrest and she is bashing the police for doing their job.<br /><br />She is the abuser. She kidnapped her children and lied to everyone. Her ex-husband did not abuse her or her children. She lies and manipulates to get her way. I personally know her and her children. She only wants attention. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-80174865821882138072014-01-30T20:59:56.860-05:002014-01-30T20:59:56.860-05:00Not that it matters because this article is over a...Not that it matters because this article is over a year old, but this woman never turned herself in. There are now warrants out for her arrest and she is bashing the police for doing their job.<br /><br />She is the abuser. She kidnapped her children and lied to everyone. Her ex-husband did not abuse her or her children. She lies and manipulates to get her way. I personally know her and her children. She only wants attention. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-50166121075324099852013-01-24T20:10:17.301-05:002013-01-24T20:10:17.301-05:00That makes sense, Lis. I see the point about not r...That makes sense, Lis. I see the point about not referring to a specific event.Susnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-10696016306406436842013-01-24T18:42:35.714-05:002013-01-24T18:42:35.714-05:00I think people are missing the point about the sta...I think people are missing the point about the statement. She does not need to "own" the abuser by calling him "mine". Who says "my abuser"? It would imply you were owning the abuse!<br /><br />She does need to specify him as THE abuser she is talking about.<br /><br />"I wouldn’t release my address to an abuser" is a theoretical statement anyone might make, it does not refer to an actual event. Someone who has never been abused or been in the situation of having to give their address could make the same statement. It is not specific.<br /><br />"I will not give my address to that man" would be expected.Lisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-86209522820367420692013-01-23T23:29:17.302-05:002013-01-23T23:29:17.302-05:00Once a victim of abuse feels free of her abuser...Once a victim of abuse feels free of her abuser's control, she would use the article A rather than THE. The makes him hers, and she wants him to be a part of a group away from her...it is distancing.<br /><br />Second, emotional and verbal abuse can be far more damaging than physical abuse. Fear of having your children or loved ones harmed is a form of emotional abuse.<br /><br />I have to really wonder about a father who has a substantiated child abuse report on him. It was serious enough that it was called in and found he left marks more than once. The attorney can only say HE DIDNT TAKE IT SERIOUS ENOUGH and it's the only thing SHE HAS TO PUT OUT THERE. <br /><br />Last, visitation rights are different than letting someone know your physical address, phone number, email, etc. True emotional abusers keep their control, often through the children, long after divorces.<br /><br />I don't know who is telling the truth here, but I can't help but think back to all the comments here about children who "disappear" and why didn't their mothers protect them. I would err on the side of caution till their is a full investigation and questioning of the children.<br />Susnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-58346407243831419822013-01-23T21:48:50.522-05:002013-01-23T21:48:50.522-05:00JerseyJane--Thank you for understanding the point ...JerseyJane--Thank you for understanding the point I was making and you summed it up perfectly in your whole post and also with what you wrote at the end "abuse is a cycle and the language in it goes in a cycle."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-37612348440741184372013-01-23T19:34:10.526-05:002013-01-23T19:34:10.526-05:00When MY abuser went out with the TRASH(some call i...When MY abuser went out with the TRASH(some call it divorce or moving on), the xwife saw him as 'an abuser' thrown in a pile with the rest of them...<br /><br />Fear of being sued or whatever makes her not call him "the abuser.".....if the man was charged, the xwife would gladly refer to him all day long to whoever would listen as "the abuser".... THE abuser needs the 'stamp of approval' from the courts.... <br />There are many "THE ABUSER"s that didn't get crown yet, sad at that......Thousands of "AN ABUSER"s roaming around out there, waiting for a new owner to make them a MY....... :-(<br />Anon, i hear ya! <br />Abuse is a cycle and the language in it goes in a cycle.<br /> JerseyJanenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-90180832074400153672013-01-23T13:08:59.673-05:002013-01-23T13:08:59.673-05:00“I wouldn’t release my address to an abuser,” she ...<b>“I wouldn’t release my address to an abuser,” she said. “I’m afraid of him. I refuse to give a physical address to a man who has abused me and my children.”</b><br /><br />Where is the ownership of being abused?<br />What is missing is the word MY in relation to the abuser.<br /><br />Expected is the following <b><br />“I wouldn’t release my address to MY abuser,” she said. “I’m afraid of him. I refuse to give a physical address to THE man who has abused me and my children.”</b><br /><br />If she can't take ownership we can't do it for her.<br />The articles are all wrong.<br />She uses AN indicating no one specific or in particular, A man again doesn't give us any indication she knows him rather than the expected THE because she has told us who he is.<br /><br />Statement Analysisis not about the emotions of a case, believeing what someone says because we are led to believe they are telling the truth because of their gender, parental status, the mother is always right the fathers are always abusive or the father is a victim because his spiteful ex is hiding his kids.<br /><br />We look only at the words spoken. The subject will tell us the truth or the deception by the words they use.Tania Cadoganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06511272355142175684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-82446686691351481072013-01-22T23:04:39.684-05:002013-01-22T23:04:39.684-05:00Anon, reading your example, I think the person wou...Anon, reading your example, I think the person would more likely say something like:<br /><br />"I am not spending time around that jerk!"<br /><br />"that" referring to one specific jerk. <br /><br />In the case we are analyzing here, I would think she would have said something like "I refuse to give MY physical address to THAT man.” Do you see how much more natural that sounds? In the case of a sentence like this, one would not use the word "my", but would use a word that specifies they are referring to an exact person, such as the word "that". That abuser. Lisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-56907118861560287092013-01-22T22:57:49.487-05:002013-01-22T22:57:49.487-05:00"Anonymous said...
All I know is, having... "Anonymous said...<br /><br /> All I know is, having been physically abused as a kid by my father, if my mother had stood up for me, showed she cared like this lady is for her kids, I would have had a much different life.<br /> I feel broken-hearted to see you people calling her a liar.<br /> If you guys care about truth, believe this lady. She's not lying. Going to jail is not going to benefit her. She's a woman standing up for her kids.<br /> January 20, 2013 at 9:05 PM"<br /><br />Anonymous, I am sorry for the abuse that you suffered and I acknowledge that it happens and is a terrible thing.<br /><br />But, I do not understand why you assume this woman is telling the truth? Are you seeing your situation instead of hers? She is not speaking the words of someone who is telling the truth. I would think this would make you angry, having lived the truth to have someone trivialize it by using it dishonestly to get their own way or for the purpose of revenge.<br /><br />There are women who are every bit as toxic and destructive as some men can be, neither sex has a corner on that. As long as you can only see the man as the possible abuser, you are vulnerable to being deceived. <br /><br />Take a look at http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/ and read about some of the things men have to deal with in relationships with toxic women. Their pain is increased by the fact that authorities and many people refuse to acknowledge that men can be victims and that women can be abusers. <br /><br />I like to listen to the police scanner in my area from time to time and just from my own listening I can tell you there are equal, if not more, calls where the wife is the attacker in domestic violence situations. <br /><br />Lisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-77469473100232910822013-01-21T20:08:39.215-05:002013-01-21T20:08:39.215-05:00Dee, I appreciate your thoughtful response to the ...Dee, I appreciate your thoughtful response to the example I gave. It seems we are definitely coming from the same place--concern for the kids' welfare. I agree that the way you worded it "my abuser" or "my child's abuser" would also be correct and a way that she could have worded it. It is interesting because on and off today before I read your response (I just now read it) I was thinking about how people word such things when they are angry with someone and have decided that a certain person is a (fill in the blank with whatever negative term). That's the conclusion I came to--they either say the person is "A" (fill in the blank) or "MY" (fill in the blank). Like for example a person could say of someone they dislike "I am not spending time around "an" enemy or "I am not spending time around "my" enemy when referring to the disliked person. All I could figure was that, at least for me, I think sometimes if I were to say "an enemy" it would be out of a desire to distance myself from involvement with them. I feel like when I say "my enemy" it implies some kind of closeness in a way. I am agreeing with you though she definitely could have said it that way though. We are on the same page--concern for the kids. Again, I appreciate the thoughtful response.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-66510804285594132292013-01-21T18:45:35.817-05:002013-01-21T18:45:35.817-05:00Anons getting demanding up in here.Anons getting demanding up in here.Lemonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15905461861488930140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-80496244380153876092013-01-21T12:35:41.245-05:002013-01-21T12:35:41.245-05:00@anon 11:32....
In the example you gave - "an...@anon 11:32....<br />In the example you gave - "an alcoholic" would be the correct way to state it. My alcoholic, the alcoholic, my kids alcoholic doesn't make grammatical sense, unless you were to say my alcoholic husband, etc.<br /> Abuse of any kind is very up close and personal to the victim. I would expect her to say "I'm not going to give my address to my abuser" or "I'm not going to give my address to my child's abuser".<br /><br />"Who's the victim here? The kids who got beaten and their mother? Or the man who beat the kids?"<br /><br />The kids are the victims. They didn't ask for any of this. Not for a father who has hit them and not for a mother who will use that fact to her own ends.Deenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-33610750777830998422013-01-21T11:32:41.830-05:002013-01-21T11:32:41.830-05:00I'm not responding to anything until someone a...I'm not responding to anything until someone addresses the example I gave of the woman and the alcoholic husband and her use of "an" as the grammatical use and context completely parallels this mother's use of "an". <br />Just because Peter wrote an article about emotionalism does not mean that my comments are not true just because I was abused in the past. If anything I have the past experience to know what it feels like to be in an abusive home, and to be aware of some of the tactics and lying techniques used by abusers.<br />In the article you can also see examples of minimization which is commonly used by abusers.<br />The article says how the ex-husband did not take his act of spanking the children on multiple occassions until red marks were left "as seriously as he should have at the time" ( according to the lawyer). But then the lawyer, right after saying that his client did not take his physical abuse of his children "as seriously as he should have" right away minimizes the physical abuse by saying that "this is the one thing that she has that she keeps putting out." So which is it? Should the man have taken his destructive actions towards his children more seriously? Or should the mother just stop harping on it? It really can't be both ways. But, regardless, it shows this abuser and his lawyers efforts, and very successful efforts I might add, since this woman is being taken away from her children for a week and imprisoned, to minimize the abuse of the children.<br />Abusers are very good liars. They are very good at making themselves look like victims as this abuser has done quite successfully. Is he going to jail for a week for beating his children? No. Is the mother going to jail for a week for trying to protect her children? Yes. <br />Who's the victim here? The kids who got beaten and their mother? Or the man who beat the kids?<br />It's frightening the ability they have to turn people against their victims. I have been through it as a kid, and I won't remain silent. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-69793692952284490242013-01-21T10:49:41.476-05:002013-01-21T10:49:41.476-05:00I noticed those who are defending this mother talk...I noticed those who are defending this mother talk about being abused themselves in the past. There was a good past article Peter wrote about emotionalism. Go back, read it and then come back and try to read this article objectively without inserting your feelings and situation into it and see what you get.<br /><br />Yes, it is concerning that the father admits to spanking so hard it left red marks. But it is also concerning that this mother is deceptive in her statements of abuse. Why would she do that?<br />Deenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-49921164061498412542013-01-21T10:37:57.632-05:002013-01-21T10:37:57.632-05:00So, how SHOULD she have said it?
I am not giving ...So, how SHOULD she have said it?<br /><br />I am not giving out my address to THE abuser?<br /><br />It doesn't even sound right to the ear.<br /><br />Just because she knows her ex-husband well does not mean that she should have used the article "the" in this context.<br /><br />When anyone uses "an" in the way this woman did, it is to denote "one of many" which does not indicate deception.<br />What if someone had a husband who is drinks excessively? The woman decides she wants a divorce. Her friend asks her "Why are you divorcing your husband?" The woman responds "I am not staying married to AN alcoholic."<br />The woman has used "AN" here to denote that her husband is an alcoholic, one of many alcoholics in the world.<br />I am no longer going to defend my point. It seems there is no room for differing opinions here, no matter how well thought out or respectfully presented, and I don't appreciate being insulted and told that my examples can be discounted by going back to junior high school grammar. I could defend myself and point out the degrees I have but why bother?<br />Besides, it says in the article that a caseworker substantiated that the kids had been spanked so hard that there were red marks left. So, I fail to understand how anyone feels they are revealing a great deception by saying this woman is lying about abuse. The abuse was already substantiated by the caseworker.<br />Statement analysis is interesting to me, but I feel the analysis of this article "an" in this context in not correct because she is using "an" to indicate "one of many". This is something we all do when speaking of someone even if we know them well and we are making a negative statement about them, calling them a name if you will, but also implying that the person is one of many people with that negative quality.<br />No longer returning here because I don't appreciate being insulted.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-289785163823291942013-01-21T10:19:10.703-05:002013-01-21T10:19:10.703-05:00It is good when deceit is revealed.
It is good when deceit is revealed.<br />Triggernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-18488548663954522402013-01-21T08:48:07.389-05:002013-01-21T08:48:07.389-05:00What if my neighbor keeps borrowing things and nev...<br />What if my neighbor keeps borrowing things and never returning them and he comes over and asks to borrow my lawn mover. I refuse to let him. My husband asks me "Why wouldnt you let him borrow the lawnmower? I respond "I am not lending outmy lawnmower to A thief!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-59301096170402720422013-01-21T08:39:19.682-05:002013-01-21T08:39:19.682-05:00I thought of another example:
What if I said to so...I thought of another example:<br />What if I said to someone "I was in A car accident years ago."<br /><br />Am I lying??? I have car insurance records and pictures of my totalled car to prove I'm not.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-25267534458507784322013-01-21T08:36:39.470-05:002013-01-21T08:36:39.470-05:00Anonymous said...
Another example: A person who di...Anonymous said...<br />Another example: A person who dislikes panhandlers because she believes they should just get a job is approached by a specific panhandler who asks her for money. She refuses to give the pandhandler any money. A bystander sees this and walks up to her and asks "Why didn't you give the panhandler any money?" The woman responds "I am not giving any money to AN unemployed person!"<br />Is she lying???<br />January 20, 2013 at 10:10 PM <br /><br />Back to junior high grammar. <br /><br />"an unemployed person" using the article, "an" indicates that the subject does not know or does not specify the person. <br /><br />In the scenario, "an" is likely appropriate as the subject probably does not know the pan handler. <br /><br />In the case of the mother (moving past the pit bull), this is a very specific man: her ex husband. It is very upclose and personal. We expect truth and the article should be definitive, not indefinite. <br /><br />The woman claiming D/V is deceptive and is using this for custodial and likely other personal reasons. <br /><br />Peter Statement Analysis Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13607372649929274491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-39571785274868453342013-01-20T22:10:22.990-05:002013-01-20T22:10:22.990-05:00Another example: A person who dislikes panhandler...Another example: A person who dislikes panhandlers because she believes they should just get a job is approached by a specific panhandler who asks her for money. She refuses to give the pandhandler any money. A bystander sees this and walks up to her and asks "Why didn't you give the panhandler any money?" The woman responds "I am not giving any money to AN unemployed person!"<br />Is she lying???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-10891134986595988902013-01-20T22:07:11.542-05:002013-01-20T22:07:11.542-05:00Here is an example of the use of the article an th...Here is an example of the use of the article an that shows the mother isn't lying. This example is to show the situational and grammatical use of "AN" and has no other relevance:<br /><br />What if a pitbull lives next door to me and I tell one of my neighbors how much I dislike this specific pitbull because it has barked and lunged at people in the past and even bit someone once. This neighbor then asks me "How come you put up a taller fence around your yard?" I respond "There is no way I am taking chances with (A) vicious dog!"<br />Am I lying????Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-81587228405806695792013-01-20T21:41:21.170-05:002013-01-20T21:41:21.170-05:00None of you even find it concerning that a casewor...None of you even find it concerning that a caseworker substantiated that the father had spanked the children on more than one occassion and left red marks????<br />What about that?<br />Even if you believe this woman has nothing better to do than "martyr" herself by going to jail to defend a "lie"--a caseworker substantiated the father spanked the kids so hard he left red marks.<br />Is this not concerning?<br />I would not want a man like that anywhere near my children.<br />Do these children not deserve to live free from abuse?<br />And also, if the kids go with the father on visits, the mother won't even be around to keep an eye on the father's treatment of the kids.<br />It just makes no sense. I see women criticized on here left and right who have allowed violent men around there children or men who have threatened violence.<br />But here is a man whose violence has been substantiated and there is no support for her in trying to keep the kids away from him. I don't understand that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-12891175171614405452013-01-20T21:26:29.944-05:002013-01-20T21:26:29.944-05:00This is a tapestry of justice!This is a tapestry of justice!Lemonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15905461861488930140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-85179034834653372372013-01-20T21:20:19.726-05:002013-01-20T21:20:19.726-05:00And, it says a caseworker substantiated that this ...And, it says a caseworker substantiated that this man was spanking his kids so hard he left red marks. So, he was abusing them.<br />This is also abuse of the mother. <br />I would never allow anyone to hit my son, that would cause me incredible pain also. I know how it feels to have someone bigger taking their rage out on you. This mother should be applauded. Also, physical abuse escalates, as it did with me when I was a kid. That's how it started out, my father spanking me for so hard and long I thought I was going to die but then it escalated to being punched in the face, being thrown around, being shaken violently, etc. Sorry if this is too much detail. But I know from experience that violence escalates. Noone should be spanking a kid so hard they leave red marks. Or spanking them at all. But if this guy was spanking them so hard, he left red marks, he was hitting them very hard and probably with a belt or some other object.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com