tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post8551919047623748670..comments2024-03-18T04:20:15.987-04:00Comments on Statement Analysis ®: Nathan Carman: Mother Missing At Sea Statement Analysis Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13607372649929274491noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-26423629771361108342018-03-28T00:36:51.605-04:002018-03-28T00:36:51.605-04:00Aspergers involves so many different genes, no one...Aspergers involves so many different genes, no one 'asperger' person is like anyone else. That said, there are neurological issues that seem to be similar. Having taught young people on the spectrum aged 12-24, violence was a problem with only a few of the males.<br /><br />Perhaps a tendency toward depression (and rumination) combined with impaired 'theory of mind' (that is - those on the autism spectrum have trouble knowing instinctively how to act and interpret others action -- these factors could account for how Nathan sought to solve his 'problems'.<br /><br />Add to that the child not fitting in anywhere - (being shunned by peers/bullied as a kid) causes some (at least my brother - with autism) to interpret innocent things someone has done as purposefully/spitefullly directed against him. Once this happens, expert Tony Atwood said it becomes fixed in their brains. Even trying to negotiate how they felt and what really happened doesn't help. In one video (autism hangout) Tony said how a father refused to speak to his 3 year old child because he messed up his dinner plate - for twenty years.<br /><br />One of the coping mechanisms many aspies face is feeling superior to others (to make up for feelings of inferiority). That way, they see their way as 'right' and others as 'wrong' - at least in my experience - no matter how bad their behaviour is. There are other coping mechanisms (feeling inferior, developing a sense of humour, mirroring others) but for my brother, he is always right (even when facts say otherwise).<br /><br />In summary, it wouldn't surprise me if Nathan was ruminating about something to do with his mother - that she did him wrong etc in some way. This anger built - hence his plan to go fishing with her. He wanted her away, to stop her interfering in his life. He felt the same way (this is opinion so of course I could be wrong) about his granddad. HIs ambivalent feelings came to a head and violence was the only way he knew to stop them. Having a conversation about his feelings and a possible solution to suit everyone etc WAS NOT gunna happen.<br />Ella Hnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-63676237277754375472017-02-04T10:05:50.154-05:002017-02-04T10:05:50.154-05:00More to come on the this case...
including addres...More to come on the this case...<br /><br />including addressing the expert opinion that order would not show priority. <br /><br />Peter Statement Analysis Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13607372649929274491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-30664638801005479282017-02-03T23:02:21.072-05:002017-02-03T23:02:21.072-05:00I truly believe Nathan is telling the truth. I hav...I truly believe Nathan is telling the truth. I have first hand experiences with aspergers victims and they truly act the same way Nathan does. People need to have FAITH.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01338127955413719521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-1517214892196228012016-12-28T22:52:47.668-05:002016-12-28T22:52:47.668-05:00How far apart are 'Smart, shy and awkward'...How far apart are 'Smart, shy and awkward' going to be from Aspergers?<br />IYO, What dx is most like it now? (Not a big Pharma fan btw)Happy Healthy Hippiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01277891665517169670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-15453106305478690282016-12-28T22:44:59.209-05:002016-12-28T22:44:59.209-05:00Agree. Far sides of the spectrum are nonverbal, he...Agree. Far sides of the spectrum are nonverbal, head wall banging.....to perfect SAT scores and just socially awkward. It's a vastly long spectrum. Happy Healthy Hippiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01277891665517169670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-29858351239399363222016-12-28T22:41:49.100-05:002016-12-28T22:41:49.100-05:00Thank you. The negative comments are making it sou...Thank you. The negative comments are making it sound like anyone, anywhere on the spectrum is a psycho. <br />People shouldn't confuse aspergers with narcissism. Aspergers lack of empathy is due to sensory overload, and we feel emotions very much so.<br /><br />Narcissists are heartless. They enjoy your pain and their praise. <br />I enjoy this blog for years too. Good insight with the grandfather, didn't know that.Happy Healthy Hippiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01277891665517169670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-8129007251972045522016-12-28T22:33:48.716-05:002016-12-28T22:33:48.716-05:00Yes, when parents let the Hooker Beach Barbie look...Yes, when parents let the Hooker Beach Barbie look on a 12 yo, then a mother wondering why her 14 yo is pregnant is no mystery.<br />I too was tomboy, and can climb a tree, play with the kuds, and rock a little black dress with stilettos like nuthin. I even put makeup on O.O but the narcissistic behavior of patents is ruining children, especially if it's generated toward another parent. <br />The latest girl kicked out of boy scouts is another thing. <br /><br />But this case here is very disturbing. Parental/children homicide is on the rise sadly.Happy Healthy Hippiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01277891665517169670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-4145993405948396702016-12-28T22:29:08.218-05:002016-12-28T22:29:08.218-05:00Oh also, with what you said with your partners son...Oh also, with what you said with your partners son convincing himself of stories he makes up...that is what it seems like...it seems they fully convince themselves of their version and others must just go along with their version...but deep down, they know they are lying. I know it seems like they dont know, but they do. Part of it I think is that they are convinced that others are not nearly as smart as they are, so to them, their version of the story is the truth and to not be questioned and it hard for them to imagine anyone actually getting proof...they lack that anxiety most people would have. They regard others, even very intelligent people, as inferior intellectually even when that belief is unfounded. If you get them to open up, they will reveal this belief...the one I know revealed they could have and should have been the world's top brain surgeon...said with complete conviction and absolutely no medical training of any kind.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-45476627573849348442016-12-28T22:12:44.815-05:002016-12-28T22:12:44.815-05:00Yes! It's Sensory Overload.Yes! It's Sensory Overload. Happy Healthy Hippiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01277891665517169670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-90134664424735911342016-12-28T22:03:54.343-05:002016-12-28T22:03:54.343-05:00Anon @ 5:40, Yes, some people with aspergers will ...Anon @ 5:40, Yes, some people with aspergers will continue lying in the face of undeniable proof and can cleverly twist the story to blame anyone or anything or any phenomenon BUT themselves...just as you are saying your partners son did by saying the videotapes were edited. <br /><br />I do believe that aspergers people have neurological/mental problems yet it is very hard for me to reconcile understanding how they are not at fault for horrible actions they engage in or pathological lying they do to cover. <br />I also do believe they do not grasp the humanity of other people and see them as being "objects that move", yet their high intelligence SHOULD enable them to grasp the humanity of others. But they do not. They regard others the same way a child might regard a toy doll that can move or talk. <br /> I read a scientific article full of lots of scientific mumbo-jumbo that I could understand but cannot speak in such sophisticated terms, however the jist of it seemed to be that the reason why aspies are so fascinated by how things work and the parts that make up a thing rather than the thing itself....is that they neurologically cannot view things or people as a unified "whole"...ie that is a complete person who also has feelings, thiughts, difficulties, talents, etc...they view things and people as fragmented...in my opinion (not the article's), this type of fragmenting of reality is much more similar to disorganized schizophrenia than autism in that it is a profound disturbance in how reality, or the world itself, is processed. I think maybe they lie so much because if things, people, reality seem fragmented to them rather than "whole" things, they figure why not just make it whatever THEY choose? Perfect example...your partners son feeling the videotape did not have the integrity of being a "whole" concrete thing, rather, in his mind, he easily thought...well, it could be edited...which would mean parts taken out and/or added to the videotape. Yet he knew it wasnt edited, I think they just feel no obligation to see things the way others see them, like if he knows it is a possibility that videotapes can theoretically be edited then that should be "equal" to the fact it wasnt edited. I know an asperger person and that is how the person thinks...yet yes they know they are lying. Its very maddening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-50011148420103061972016-12-28T17:40:53.929-05:002016-12-28T17:40:53.929-05:00OK. My partner and I have read this blog, and all...OK. My partner and I have read this blog, and all the comments, and need to respond.<br />1) My partner is the parent of a child with Asperger's. That child does have the ability to lie, and convincingly. He can look either of us straight in the eye and tell a lie. When caught, it is never his fault. It is always the fault of someone else that he was caught. When something in his life goes wrong (example:trouble in school) he always blames someone else. As to following rules, and being particular, the rules apply to everyone else but him.<br />He also has the ability to make up stories and he believes them to be the truth, even when we have shown him evidence (including video recording) to prove otherwise.....in that case, he accused us of "editing the recording", even though we recorded it and showed it to him immediately after, with no time lapse.<br />2) We live in Vernon VT, which is the town NC lives in. We have had frequent contact with him. Frankly, he scares the shit out of us. We are familiar with his behavior traits as we have seen him often. He has initiated screaming matches in our town offices when something has not gone his way. He has demonstrated violent outbursts- when something on the house has not gone right, loud yelling of profanity, followed by throwing his tools out of the house (including off the fourth floor/roof) soon follows. You may have seen on the news that he was "renovating" a farmhouse- he started this project 2 years ago, and it has really made little progress, as he works on what he wants, when he wants. The house had no roof for over a year. He has done 99% of the work himself. choosing not to involve others. When he has involved others, after the work is done, he has then attempted to not pay the full amount owed.<br />His neighbors feel the same way we do- when he is out in his yard, they hide in their houses. And they did that even before Mom went missing. When Mom went missing, after he was found, he came home Tuesday, gave interviews Wednesday, then went right back to working on his house like absolutely nothing had happened. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-69287800393913810942016-12-28T13:18:55.140-05:002016-12-28T13:18:55.140-05:00“I got to the life raft after I got my bearings, a...“I got to the life raft after I got my bearings, and I was <b>whistling</b> and calling and looking around, and I didn’t see her.”<br /><br />The thing about this statement that bothers me is that the whistle is usually blown by the one needing help. Really good life jackets have a whistle on them. Nautical emergency kits have a whistle in them. If you're conscious you blow them instead of yelling for help. I don't understand why he would be "whistling" for his mom. (Whistling is in context of his mom.) Calling yes. Looking yes. Whistling is unexpected.<br /><br />(and) - missing information/time. <br /><br />I wonder if the vessel is ever found, there would be tape affixed to it windshield (taking a bow-on bearing)<br /><br />Also, everything he reported he did to locate his mom was passive. "ing" x 3Nichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09150573665283919209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-61912132956234074462016-12-28T13:10:32.170-05:002016-12-28T13:10:32.170-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Nichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09150573665283919209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-84555055875278853802016-12-28T12:53:15.862-05:002016-12-28T12:53:15.862-05:00I'm getting caught up on this case. Reading h...I'm getting caught up on this case. Reading here:<br />http://heavy.com/news/2016/09/nathan-carman-rhode-island-vermont-boston-new-york-murder-suspect-linda-carman-missing-boat-john-chakalos-connecticut-millionaire-estate/<br /><br />I came across this comment from a local (by pictures alone, I agree he looked pretty good for being "lost" at sea for 8 days):<br /><br />Thanks for the recap Jennifer. Diana, I agree with your thoughts as well. I live in Narragansett and have fished Block Island waters commercially and recreationally for most of my life. My take is this is all a part of a well thought out plan. Here is why. We know through local sources that Nathan topped off the boat fuel. Estimated boat range from those that know the boat is 600 miles.He also bought Ballyhoo (a bait used for fishing tuna in the canyons) and eels (used for fishing for stripers off of Block Island)Covering all bases here. Mom's e-mail said they were headed for Striper Rock Southeast of the windmills.This location does not exist and I have never known anyone to target stipers in that area. Linda's e-mail to her best friend at 11am stated that she was nervous and expected to return to the dock at 9am sunday. That is good timing for a fishing trip to Block Isalnd but Block canyon is a good 6 hour trip one way in conditions better then they were facing. Some wittnesses stated that they did not see fishing gear on the boat but that could have been stored down below. Now witnesses also say that Nathan had removed the trim tabs (stabilizers) on the boat and sealed up the holes with silicone. Why? Peeling the silicon away would be a very convenient way to sink the boat. Previous pictures of the boat do not show a life raft but current ones do. Why did they never find Nathan and why in such good condition after 8 days in a raft? I would expect with his range he traveled farther south to avoid the search, then east where he sunk the boat and went adrift well provisioned with food and water. Furthurmore most boats going that far and equipped with a life raft will have an Epirb device that is automatically triggered when submerged and sends a location signal to the coast guard. And if there was no Epirb on board almost all ship to shore radios (your most basic piece of electronic equipment) manufactured in the last 10 years have a simple distress button to push that sends a signal to the coast guard of your latitude and longitude. If there is no time to call...always time to push that button unless you are swamped by big seas and there were none. There is much more to add but rambling as it is. Bottom line from someone who has fished these waters for 50 years none of this adds up.Nichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09150573665283919209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-38823040066666365432016-12-28T08:40:57.670-05:002016-12-28T08:40:57.670-05:00Sometimes kids with mild autism are labeled or mis...Sometimes kids with mild autism are labeled or misdiagnosed "Aspergers."<br /><br />Regardless of what anyone says, in practice, social service organizations take safety precautions with Asperger males, particularly age 10 and up, for their safety and their clients' safety. <br /><br />Please keep in mind that the "literature" is heavily influenced by politicians, or "political correctness" along with the pharmaceutical companies peddling the latest drugs. <br /><br />The poor direct service providers, woefully underpaid, deal with the violence or threat of violence every day. Even when the actor does not appear "angry" or "malicious", the 'deception' becomes evident: the worker "never saw it coming."<br /><br />Those who work one on one with Aspergers understand. That there are non violent Aspergers is irrelevant to the analysis. <br /><br />Nathan Carman has a history of violence, which include intimidation. <br /><br />We have a very public example of domestic violence by his mother against his grandfather, to the point where police were called. This is insight into his home life, where he was raised in great wealth, meaning...you get what you want: <br /><br />this is a terrible combination alone, without Aspergers. <br /><br />You can always find someone with the diagnosis who is non violent or has no preoccupation with death. Its a good thing! But it is not relevant to the analysis. <br /><br />Nathan Carman shows guilty knowledge of his mother's death. <br />Nathan Carman gives linguistic indication of guilt regarding his grandfather's murder. <br />Nathan Carman has a history of frightening and intimidating others. <br /><br />If you find someone with Aspergers who has no preoccupation with death, it will not change the case of Nathan Carman. <br /><br />In training, students are taught to not interject their own "but me" into analysis. <br /><br />This is a good example why this is taught. <br /><br />PeterStatement Analysis Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13607372649929274491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-81246297173647459082016-12-28T00:31:57.119-05:002016-12-28T00:31:57.119-05:00It HAS to be that people with aspergers are develo...It HAS to be that people with aspergers are developmentally stuck in many ways in a very early infantile state of object relations like maybe the first month of life if they cant distinguish between people and objects. Thats my theory! Otherwise how can it possibly be explained? I find it to be very disturbing to think about. There are adults who cant distinguish between people and objects. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-75806959794426603932016-12-28T00:15:44.388-05:002016-12-28T00:15:44.388-05:00I just read this, and it is, in my opinion, possib...I just read this, and it is, in my opinion, possibly the most disturbing aspect about aspergers--the fact they have trouble "<b>distinguishing people from objects</b>." I dont know how someone can possibly underestimate how serious of an impairment that is! As well as they have trouble understanding that other people even have THOUGHTS, nevermind FEELINGS.<br /><br />This writer writes of Jeffrey Dahmer, who had aspergers "Dahmer's treatment of his victims, they say, is consistent with the fact that individuals with AD have trouble both in "theory of mind" (the understanding that other people have thoughts and feelings) and in distinguishing between people and objects." <br /><br />Personally, I have to step back from the topic of aspergers. There is little I can find to read that seems to understand the route of asperger violence which is they are twisted people and they HAVE TROUBLE TELLING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PEOPLE AND OBJECTS. I find this VERY disturbing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-89129297162081586272016-12-27T23:44:26.439-05:002016-12-27T23:44:26.439-05:00I disagree with the last part of the link however....I disagree with the last part of the link however...they lie very well, and they actually take satisfaction in their ability to deceive. They also should not be allowed to be unsupervised around children, as their psychosis mixed with their other traits noted by asperger creates a very bad combo. I do not believe teasing or bullying creates the sadism of the asperger patient either...the writer making that type of excuse for them shows an ignorance of the profound ways the complex weave of psychological handicaps these people have could effect their ability to develop a healthy psyche. He attributes simple explanations for a very complicated issue. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-35158051640441118572016-12-27T22:54:24.684-05:002016-12-27T22:54:24.684-05:00Here he mentions his belief that aspergers differs...Here he mentions his belief that aspergers differs drastically from autism and one need only look at the characteristics observed by Hans Asperger in "aspies" to understand why<br /><br />Personally I think Asperger and autism should not be treated as the same disorder and do deserve separate diagnoses. I have heard that some psychiatrists, who believe Asperger and autism are the same, more or less boycott the current diagnostic criteria and simply give everyone "autism". This is bad because it makes research into the possible differences a priori impossible. It would be better to revise the Asperger criteria and make them more different from those for Autistic Disorder, for instance by including the less popular negative features that are missing from the current image of Asperger, but have been observed by Hans Asperger in his original study and are known from forensic psychiatry. These include motor clumsiness, insensitivity to another's feelings, destructiveness, aggression, endlessly bottled-up anger, violent outbursts, and grim sadism. Some of these set Asperger apart from classical autism, and failing to include them in the criteria makes it appear as if Asperger and autism are really the same.<br /><br />Personally I think Asperger and autism should not be treated as the same disorder and do deserve separate diagnoses. I have heard that some psychiatrists, who believe Asperger and autism are the same, more or less boycott the current diagnostic criteria and simply give everyone "autism". This is bad because it makes research into the possible differences a priori impossible. It would be better to revise the Asperger criteria and make them more different from those for Autistic Disorder, for instance by including the less popular negative features that are missing from the current image of Asperger, but have been observed by Hans Asperger in his original study and are known from forensic psychiatry. These include motor clumsiness, insensitivity to another's feelings, destructiveness, aggression, endlessly bottled-up anger, violent outbursts, and grim sadism. Some of these set Asperger apart from classical autism, and failing to include them in the criteria makes it appear as if Asperger and autism are really the same.<br /><br />Personally I think Asperger and autism should not be treated as the same disorder and do deserve separate diagnoses. I have heard that some psychiatrists, who believe Asperger and autism are the same, more or less boycott the current diagnostic criteria and simply give everyone "autism". This is bad because it makes research into the possible differences a priori impossible. It would be better to revise the Asperger criteria and make them more different from those for Autistic Disorder, for instance by including the less popular negative features that are missing from the current image of Asperger, but have been observed by Hans Asperger in his original study and are known from forensic psychiatry. These include motor clumsiness, insensitivity to another's feelings, destructiveness, aggression, endlessly bottled-up anger, violent outbursts, and grim sadism. Some of these set Asperger apart from classical autism, and failing to include them in the criteria makes it appear as if Asperger and autism are really the same.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-8695414848569539872016-12-27T22:48:53.888-05:002016-12-27T22:48:53.888-05:00Here is the beginning of the link I posted above. ...Here is the beginning of the link I posted above. Note how the author says that people do not want to acknowledge known facts about the disorder that they dont want to believe (in my opinion bc it doesnt fit with the "sweet awakward nerd" picture that doesnt match up with reality whatsoever: In the authors words:<br />"Asperger syndrome, officially called Asperger's disorder in the diagnostic manual, has become a more or less popular diagnosis in the late twentieth century. As result there has been much writing and talk about it, and a relatively wide audience is now aware of the condition and some facts and notions related to it. Not all of these notions are true, while some known facts remain unmentioned; publicity around Asperger syndrome suffers to some extent from the phenomenon of believing what one likes to believe and ignoring what one does not like to know. I will try to set a few things straight. It is assumed in this article that the reader already knows what Asperger syndrome is."<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-11022570544344217912016-12-27T22:26:34.706-05:002016-12-27T22:26:34.706-05:00And I dont care who it offends..."aspies"...And I dont care who it offends..."aspies" should not be unsupervised around children. True "aspies" are not the nerdy engineer too shy to talk. These people have profoundly disturbing characteristics. Stephen King could base a character on one of these people...he could not even dream up that stuff...and they are more than intelligent enough to hide the shit they do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-57563691425657070322016-12-27T22:19:18.646-05:002016-12-27T22:19:18.646-05:00asperger/straight_talk_about_asperger.html
The li...asperger/straight_talk_about_asperger.html<br /><br />The link above is great. It talks about all the misconceptions: aspergers is not autism...it is a developmental disorder and may soon be moved into the Cluster A personality disorder category of schizophrenia, schizotypal, etc. IT BELONGS THERE. <br />The link also notes the actual traits Hans Asperger actually noted in aspies and many are very disturbing and far from the gentle, awkward aspie you read about on the internet. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-67837012221147980752016-12-27T21:59:05.418-05:002016-12-27T21:59:05.418-05:00Gracie, That is interesting hearing your take on t...Gracie, That is interesting hearing your take on things since you yourself have Aspergers. Im curious, is it an ego-dystonic phenomenon for aspies that they lack a conscience (you stated they feel no guilt or remorse)? This shows that aspies are aware they lack a conscience...my question is does it upset them that they lack a conscience? Or are they OK with it? My experience has been they do not seem upset by it. Yet I am not inside their head to know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-54728383131764786902016-12-27T21:34:15.890-05:002016-12-27T21:34:15.890-05:00As far as when family members try to gossip about ...As far as when family members try to gossip about Scumbag A or Scumbag B is doing this or that crazy thing, I dont want to hear many details...I just say "Oh wow." It usually steers the convo in diff direction. I feel like "Why are you telling me this when I stopped talking to that person yrs ago?" Did you not realize the first 500 times you heard about this person being malicious that this person is malicious. But they dont want to get it, they dont want to detach, they would rather triangulate, gossip...I dont get involved in that bc the person is outof my life for a reason. I just say "Oh wow, interesting." It takes a lot of pain to get to the point where you only let decent people in and keep the rest out. Its not the route for everyone to take. But it works for me. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7164794708270892518.post-60704635498633970382016-12-27T21:07:20.018-05:002016-12-27T21:07:20.018-05:00You wrote " As far as the former friend goes,...You wrote " As far as the former friend goes, I'm not on Twitter, Pinterest, or Facebook. I don't follow anyone, nor did I say that I did"<br /><br />Oh OK, well you gave a detailed point by point description of what you have seen on the former friend's instagram and pinterest (?). My point is why do you look in detail at someone's accounts who you find to be intolerable? Yet, you say you dont after you say you do? Just saying it might be healthier not to even look if it just upsets you bc the person is a jerk.<br />My post wasnt meant to be snarky...more just sharing my own experience that if someone is truly toxic it's best not to be around them...I have a large family in which certain people are very nasty and others triangulate, backtalk, gossip against the nastier ones...I just stay away from MOST of them bc I dont want to be sucked into ANY of it....not saying that is the route everyone should take...but it is how I deal...what these people dont understand is that if it is person A and B gossipping and complaiming about person C, person B think person A is really great...person A understands how awful person C is ...yet person C used to be best buddies with person A and knew person A was a scumbag...person B will be disillusioned when they realize A is as bad as C...point is I dont do complicated stuff, thats just me...if someone is invited into my house it means I like them and when they leave I wont be talking smack about them. If I dont like someone I dont invite them over. This keeps me from ever having to be around people I dont like or having to talk about them in any depth or team up with others to try to deal with them. Only because it hurts me in the end and I myself just choose to detach from truly toxic people and I also dont like hearing about them from other family members who complain bc I just think to myself "well, you knew that person was a scumbag..."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com