A change of language indicates a change of the subject's perception of reality.
When a word changes, something has changed.
If said change is a commonly used phrase, take particular note if the law of economy is reversed. This means that it now takes longer to process the information and speak it. A reversal of the law of economy indicates:
there is more information to what is being said.
Recently, I heard such a change.
For many years, Heather has introduced me by saying,
"This is my husband, Peter. He is from New York."
This became common and habitual in her language.
This past week at a charity held by a local Rotary, she said,
"This is my husband, Peter. He is originally from New York."
Later, I asked her about it. It took but a few questions to learn what caused this change in her language.
What do you make of the change?
Heather answered the question for us.
A change of language reflects a change of reality. If no such reality exists, it may mean the person is lying and has lost track of their own words. This is something we see when language does not proceed from experiential memory.
However, it is somewhat rare and most of the time we are looking at a change of reality.
"Wait, what? Yeah, I checked out the necklace, but I gave the jewelry back to you."
In theft, "jewelry" can be in the displace case, while "the necklace" was handled personally and is now in the thief's pocket. The thief did not intentionally change his language, via pausing to consider; he just spoke out. (Someone is bound to leave a comment, "Hey, Peter, did you buy Heather a necklace for Christmas?")
An easy one for analysis, yet one that comes with practice in live listening, or discourse analysis:
"I saw a car go off the road yesterday. It was bad and the roads were icy. The driver was okay and left his vehicle in the ditch."
The reality that the subject verbalized was watching a car slip off icy roads. It was experiential and sensory (sight). The next sentence also comes from experiencing the same road, while driving his own "car."
The driver was okay.
There is now a change for the subject.
He was in a car, and so was the driver. The icy roads were experienced, but the driver was "okay." This now allows for a new reality:
The car is abandoned by the driver, turning it from a "car" he and the driver both experienced while driving on icy roads, into a "vehicle" where, once back on the road, will "change" back into being a "car."
We drive our cars.
For Heather, years ago, New York was a novelty.
The first time we drove down, she was anxiety struck by the speed and density of traffic. To her surprise, I was comfortable with the higher speed and traffic. "New York driver!", she said.
There was a puzzling gap between us.
She was raised on a farm in rural Maine, and the driving in Maine is much slower.
Upon moving to Maine, I immediately got speeding tickets in Maine while going 20 years without one in New York.
I had to make the cultural adjustment.
It took time and patience. Eventually the kids took Driver's Ed and got their licenses. They are much more patient drivers than their dad, and I am glad for it.
I travel for work and enjoy meeting new people and new areas. The Statement Analysis seminars are dynamic learning experiences and I've met some remarkable law enforcement professionals along the way.
I love the seminars, especially if she can travel with me. At each locale, we always ask ourselves, "We would like to live here?" This was a deep conversation after the seminar in the "frontier" state of Alaska. For us, the only draw back was distance to family. We'd love to live in rural Alaska. We did not see any bears, but a very special analyst from Kodiak Island will make sure we get the privilege on our next training seminar.
We make observations and I love to "interview" locals. I was fascinated by local native Alaskans' life styles and was warmed by their openness and friendliness.
Port Saint Lucie, Florida, is beautiful, especially when interrupting the late winter cold of Maine and seeing Spring Training baseball.
Geneva, Switzerland is also beautiful and like many Americans, there is much about European culture we deeply admire.
The women analysts and investigators, in particular, are sharp, strong and driven. They contribute more than they know to our trainings. Nowhere is this insight more efficacious than in identifying an anonymous author. They operate off the fuel of personal satisfaction in obtaining justice. It's who they are. I am grateful for the people, both in and out of law enforcement that I have just met this past year, trained and also learn from in the team analysis each month. It is unpredictable, exciting, exhausting and exhilarating.
Often, however, for seminars, I travel alone and give Heather quite an account upon returning.
She said that over recent years, each time I returned I commented how much I love Maine.
I had not realized it, yet it is true.
I love its weather as I enjoy four different seasons.
I love its low crime rate.
I love coming "home."
Due to constitutional carry, it initially surprised me how many citizens, especially women, are armed. For them, it is routine. It is a safe place to raise a family. When I first moved here, watching someone walk down the street armed was alarming.
I recently told my son, "I consider it my civic duty to carry. I also donate blood four times a year."
The attempted humor fell flat.
Heather and I talk about eventually getting a small log cabin in the middle of the woods.
It is our dream for tomorrow.
She said she watched the difficult cultural adjustment from New York to Maine change me over the years. I did not realize how much resistance I exerted against the difference in pace.
Without realizing it, she said that more and more I say, "Oh, I love Maine!" upon returning home.
It took many years, but I was no longer from New York but now "originally" (note the element of time in this word) from New York.
In her verbalized perception of reality, I am almost a Mainer. It'll never reach that status, but she's seen a change in me.
Including in my driving.
Listen for small changes.
The possibilities for learning are endless. Consider enrolling in training for 2019. If you do, take the full 12 months and do not rush. It is insightful for all thinking people, whether or not in law enforcement. Plus, there's no substitute for working with others of likemindedness in growth.
As to the farm girl trying to sound urban, Heather continues to try to say, "I'm walkin' here!" in a her faux New York accent, but her roots are the farm.
Heather and I wish Merry Christmas for all, and a blessed, exciting and healthy New Year in 2019.