Friday, April 11, 2014
The Verifier Liar
Some are "Grandiose Liars", those who must exaggerate their own self worth and status to others. We'll target the language of the "Grandiose Liar" in another article.
Today, it is the "Verifier Liar" whom we shall profile.
One who practices lying (deception) is one who will bring your ____________ harm. Fill in the blank with (relationship, business, company, marriage, etc) most anything. Others might recognize that the liar has a "personality disorder" in which a diagnosis has been given. Regardless, the liar will trouble others around her, even if it is just to relieve her own boredom, or gain attention.
The liar will put his or her needs above those of others, including the interests of business, or personal well being. The liar, if she enjoys gossip, for example, will trouble morale in companies (or any social group) that has interpersonal actions. She may pit one supervisor against another, triangulating fellow employees into disputes.
The liar will steal.
This means that, depending upon your business, the liar may steal product (shrinkage), money, or simply steal time.
Today, here is one type of liar to spot, and being to observe the actions and behaviors. She is the "Verifier Liar."
The "Verifier Liar" reveals herself in her language, as well as her behavior. The "Verifier Liar" will use sentences such as these:
"I wasn't late this morning, I got in before the store opened up."
"I drove the truck straight to the dock. I left at 1PM and got there by 2PM. It always takes an hour."
"I didn't say that to her. Susie was there, too, so just ask her."
"I brought Bobbie with me in case you wanted to check with him. I finished everything you asked me to."
In other words, each assertion is made with a presentation of how to verify the truth.
Note to Reader:
Do actually verify.
you will find out something important to you or your company.
The above statements may sound like junior high school, but they are quotes from businesses in which liars are all but admitting, "I am a liar!" by preparing for a challenge, without even being challenged.
You will learn tow things:
1. Even though the assertions can be verified, the Verifier Liar may not be expecting you to follow through with the verification.
2. By showing a need for verification, the subject is revealing that not only is she a liar, but she is a habitual liar, and when she is telling the truth, she especially wants to be believed.
"I finished my homework. You can even ask my mother!" The student that says this to his teacher may have, truly, finished his homework, but he is showing that he is a liar by his lack of confidence. The truthful person follows a norm where an economy of words indicates confidence in the assertion (or denial), therefore, no need to emphasize. He has a quiet confidence that if the matter is looked into further, affirmation will be found.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Those with BPD will go through stages where lying is almost incessant. Chaos and confusion are often associated with BPD and there is sometimes little remorse.
How Should a Business Deal With Liars?
The best that can be done is in the Interview process where specific questions are designed to tempt the liar to be deceptive and weed out the trouble-maker before he comes on board.
Applications with questions about personality and life are important, with the application giving lots of room for answers. I do what I can to encourage applicants to fill out as much information as they can. The more words, the more analysis.
Human Resources that are responsible for internal investigations should use Analytical Interviewing in which the written answers on the application are analyzed, and the interview is conducted armed with this knowledge.
Remember: people give out far more information than they realize.
We use this information to not only sift out liars, but to hire the most qualified candidate.
Last piece of advice:
When someone says "If I were you, I wound't trust me either..." or something similar.
My advice is based upon statistics.
If someone tells you not to trust them, believe them.
This is my advice. You should take it.