Thursday, December 6, 2012

A Mother's Language Highlighted

Compare the language of this mother with the language of suspected parents who have reported their children missing; specifically, Deborah Bradley, Justin DiPietro, Sergio Celis, Billie Jean Dunn.  Think of how these parents have spoken about their children with this mother, who's loss was utter, as your reference point of comparison.  Her focus is upon their lives.  Note that she slips into present tense language at times.  

The complete letter follows the article. 



Mother who survived deadly Orrington fire trying to heal

Christine Johnson (center) was the only survivor of the fatal Orrington fire that killed her husband Ben Johnson III (second from right) and their children Leslie, Benjamin Johnson IV and Ryan (from left in front).
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Christine Johnson (center) was the only survivor of the fatal Orrington fire that killed her husband Ben Johnson III (second from right) and their children Leslie, Benjamin Johnson IV and Ryan (from left in front).

“Coming out of a situation that was terrifying will make you realize that all of the small things you were worried about are insignificant,” Christine Johnson wrote in a letter to the Bangor Daily News that she asked to be shared with the community. “The most important thing is to live life to the fullest, and never take anything for granted. Life is not a right, or privilege. It is a blessing, because every day you leave your house, you run the risk of never returning. Every night you go to sleep, you could end up staying asleep forever. You never know how precious life really is until you’ve lost everything that is important to you.”
BANGOR, Maine — The mother of three who lost her children and her husband in a deadly Orrington house fire nearly a month ago says she has “to leave the past in the past” in order to heal, and she is urging people to cherish every moment life has to offer.
Her husband, Ben Johnson III, heard the fire alarm going off early Nov. 10 and saved Christine Johnson ’s life by putting her out a window onto the roof, his father said days after the fire. Her husband then turned back into the thick, black smoke in an attempt to save their children, who were in another upstairs bedroom.
“He took one deep breath and said I have to go after my children and that was the last thing,” Orland resident Benjamin Johnson II said of his son.
Ben Johnson III, 30; Ben Johnson IV, 9; Ryan Johnson, 4; and the couple’s 8-year-old daughter, Leslie, died from smoke inhalation in the blaze, which was reported at 2:38 a.m. The fire started because cardboard was stored too close to the downstairs wood stove used to heat the foreclosed house the Johnsons were in the process of buying, according to the state fire marshal’s office.
I feel like a walking shell: empty, alone and lost,” the grieving mother said in the letter to the BDN. “I still feel the love I had for my husband, but there is no one to return it. No one to comfort me, no one to wrap their arms around me and say, ‘I’ve got you, baby doll, I’ve got you.’
No one to chase the nightmares away, or snuggle with on the couch after the kids have gone to sleep,” she wrote. “And no one to tell me a joke when I’m crying, just so they can see me smile. My husband loved to make me smile. He said it was because my eyes would sparkle … Now my eyes sparkle no more.”
Her husband was a local bowler and former bowling coach, and worked two jobs as a card dealer at Hollywood Casino and restocking shelves at the Bangor Walmart Supercenter. His son Ben was in fourth grade and his daughter Leslie was a third-grader at Center Drive School in Orrington, but both also had attended other schools in the area. Christine Johnson is an author who in October celebrated the release of her paranormal fantasy novel, “ The Quest for the Enchanted Stone.” She was a stay-at-home mom for her youngest child, Ryan.
The deaths of her children have left her devastated.
I don’t get to see my children’s smile, or hear their laughter,” Johnson’s letter said. “I will never get to dance around the kitchen to music with them. There’s no more bedtime stories, or family movie night. No more taking my babies to the bounce house in Brewer, and watching my daughter get on [the] one that takes you up in the air. No more riding bikes with them, or helping them with their homework.”
She wrote that she “would give anything to be able to do those things with them again.
When asked, Johnson said she didn’t want to talk about the night when her whole world changed. She said she is trying to take small steps forward by letting go of the things she cannot change.
A damaged soul is something that can’t be repaired. No matter what anyone says, it will never heal,” Johnson wrote in her letter.
She said she must “let go of everything and not dwell on what could have, should have, or would have been.”
“You can’t change the past, only live for the future, and what it might show you,” her letter states. “When you survive something, like I have, it opens your eyes to the important things, and the miracles that happen every day.
What happened last month has changed her perspective on what truly matters in life, Johnson wrote. The most precious gift people have is their time, she said, and no action a person takes is meaningless.
Family and friends are the most important part of your life,” Johnson wrote. “Make time for them. Even if it is only for 10 minutes. That’s something that, later, you are not going to sit and think, ‘I wish I would have done this instead.’”
Nowadays, the widow hugs everyone she knows, “because you know that, someday, they could be taken from you, too.”
Without her three children, life now seems to have little or no meaning, Johnson wrote.
My children are the ones I will forever cry over,” she said in the letter.
For they are the ones who never had a chance at life. They never got to go on a boat, or ride a roller coaster. They never got to see Disney World, or Niagara Falls. They never got to ride on a plane to some far off land, or see a real, live moose.
Compare this with the callousness of DiPietro, Dunn, Bradley, Celis and so on.  They care about one thing:  covering their own crime, and their language reveals it. 
My youngest didn’t even get to ride a school bus, and I remember him getting excited about the chance to get on one,” Johnson added. “My daughter never got the dance lessons that she wanted. My oldest never got to build the flying car that he kept bragging he was going to make.”
It is the terrible loss that she has experienced that is behind Johnson’s desire to tell others that every second with a child is precious.
Hold your children tight, love them with every ounce of love you have to offer, and give them all of the free time you have,” she wrote. “They are small, defenseless babies who look to us for guidance, protection and love.”
Johnson ended her letter by saying how grateful she was for the support given to her and her family.
I want to thank everyone, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me in my time of need,” she said. “You’ll never truly know how much it means to me that I have so many people behind me. I only hope, after reading this, that you continue to believe in me.”


Christine Johnson's Letter:



A damaged soul is something that can’t be repaired. No matter what anyone says, it will never heal or fully go away. You can only hope that there is someone, or something, out there that can be a salve for the wounds that are too deep for anyone to see. Eventually, you will be able to move on and find inspiration somewhere, but the first thing that a person has to do is let go. Let go of everything and not dwell on what could have, should have, or would have been. You can’t change the past, only live for the future, and what it might show you. When you survive something, like I have, it opens your eyes to the important things, and the miracles that happen everyday. You’ll lie in bed, and notice the air going in and out of your lungs-thinking that you, yourself, are a miracle. Earth does not revolve around anyone, but you revolve around it. You may think, at first, that what I am saying is hogwash, but if you sit and think for a moment. You will realize that what I say is true.
Coming out of a situation that was terrifying will make you realize that all of the small things you were worried about are insignificant. The most important thing is to live life to the fullest, and never take anything for granted. Life is not a right, or privilege. It is a blessing, because everyday you leave your house, you run the risk of never returning. Every night you go to sleep, you could end up staying asleep forever. You never know how precious life really is until you’ve lost everything that is important to you.
That’s when the world takes on a whole new look. The sunlight and colors are brighter, air is fresher and more vital to you, touch is now as important as the heart beating in your chest. You’ll hug everyone you know, because you know that, someday, they could be taken from you, too. So, you venture out into the world thinking that you only have one life, and you plan to make what is left of it worthwhile. But guess what? That’s not true. Never think, for a second, that anything you have done is meaningless. I’m not talking about the arguments, discussions, or choices. I’m talking about the friends and family that you talk to. Letting them use you as a sound board, helping a friend move, helping family when they’ve had surgery, or just sitting with a friend when they are having a bad day and having a drink with them. Those times may seem small in contrast to what others do, but they are still important. Because you’ve made someone feel better, or you’ve eased someones pain.
The small things that you give do add up in the end. A smile that you give to a person in passing will have an effect on them throughout the day. Making someone laugh when they are sad will brighten their day, and make things easier for them. You don’t need to give out money, or buy someone a big gift. Just making them feel better is enough, and never forget that family and friends are the most important part of your life. Make time for them. Even if it is only for ten minutes, that’s something that, later, you are not going to sit and think,’I wish I would have done this instead.’ Granted some people still will, but you made an effort to be there and that is what really counts.
Stop going through life looking for fun in all the wrong places. It’s not in a bar, it’s not at a dance club, and it’s not at any place that gives entertainment. The most fun I ever had was being anywhere my husband was, or my children. Your spouse is definitely important as well, and if you don’t have one then don’t fret. You will find somebody someday, even if it’s only a person that becomes a companion. As long as you find someone that you can share your joys, your sorrow, and your frustration with, then you are as rich as Midas.
Love is a very helpful tool in the salving of your damaged soul. A person does not feel completely whole without it. I feel like a walking shell: empty, alone, and lost. I still feel the love I had for my husband, but there is no one to return it. No one to comfort me, no one to wrap their arms around me and say,’I've got you, babydoll, I’ve got you.’ No one to chase the nightmares away, or snuggle with on the couch after the kids have gone to sleep. And no one to tell me a joke when I’m crying, just so they can see me smile. My husband loved to make me smile, he said it was because my eyes would sparkle, but now my eyes sparkle no more. Until I can find something close to that which I have lost to take away the feelings of being lost, empty, and alone.
For some of you, you may say that looking for someone to take that pain away is too soon. Well, for those of you who didn’t know my husband, let me explain. He made me promise, a few years back, that I would not mourn for him after he was gone, and that I would go out immediately, after everything was taken cared of, and find someone else. Let me tell you, that was not an easy promise, but, promise him I did. Only after he returned the same courtesy, of course. He didn’t like the idea, but I told him it was only fair. And believe me, if my husband was able to say something to me, right now, he’d say,’Three men walk into a bar, guess what they say?’ Followed by telling me he loved me, and then he’d give me a tongue lashing for not doing as he asked(the answer to the joke is,’Ouch’), or he would just huff in frustration. That was my Ben. Always trying to make sure that I was safe, taken cared of, and happy. He told me he knew that I wouldn’t be if I was alone, and he didn’t like the idea of me being by myself. Technically, I think I could handle myself quite well, but I told him I’d keep that promise. And for the sanity of others out there, make sure you never make a promise like that, because it could be impossible to follow through on. Luckily for me, I’m stubborn and willful, therefore I will triumph, hopefully.
The final thing I have to point out is children. God’s gift to mankind. They are the ones that fill our hearts with joy. Without them, life would have no meaning. My children are the ones I will forever cry over. For they are the ones who never had a chance at life. They never got to go on a boat, or ride a roller coaster. They never got to see Disney World, or Niagara Falls. They never got to ride on a plane to some far off land, or see a real, live moose. They never got to experience life the way we have. My youngest didn’t even get to ride a school bus, and I remember him getting excited about the chance to get on one. My daughter never got the dance lessons that she wanted. My oldest never got to build the flying car that he kept bragging he was going to make.
Hold your children tight, love them with every ounce of love you have to offer, and give them all of the free time you have. They are small, defenseless babies who look to us for guidance, protection, and love. As you watch your children play remember that I don’t get to see my childrens’ smile, or hear their laughter. I will never get to dance around the kitchen, to music, with them. There’s no more bedtime stories, or family movie night. No more taking my babies to the bounce house in Brewer, and watching my daughter get on one that takes you up in the air. No more riding bikes with them, or helping them with their homework. I’ve lost mine, and would give anything to be able to do those things with them again. Don’t take for granted that yours are still here. Treat them as if their life could be snuffed out tomorrow. Never push them away. Drop what you are doing, and give them your undivided attention. As I said before, you never know how precious something really is, until you lose it forever.
I want to thank everyone, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me in my time of need. You’ll never truly know how much it means to me that I have so many people behind me. I only hope, after reading this, that you continue to believe in me. I’m still writing books, my voice is still healing, so unfortunately, I can’t sing, yet, and I have a plan for how I want to live my life. I will continue to write, and live day to day for my family. I was always taught to never dwell on something that you cannot change, but to move forward and live for those who cannot. I hope that what I have to say becomes an inspiration to you, and that you use it and try to do the things that I have suggested to you. Life is too short to sweat the small things, unless it is in the act of giving. Then, and only then, do you give with your heart, not with earthly possessions. Because, as you know, I lost everything. Therefore, for me, material things don’t really matter anymore. Except for things that are a necessity. So, love with all your heart; your family, your friends, even people in passing-give them a smile. I pray that no one else will ever go through what I have. For it is not something that the faint-of-heart could handle.

48 comments:

Wreyeter72 said...

I usually get aggravated by commenters on sites who attack a grieving person and question their parenting without enough information - so my next words will make me a hypocrite. This woman is a narciccist of the worst kind. (I know I'm missing the point here that Peter was trying to make) her husband worke three jobs while she stayed home. When their house catches on fire, her husband puts her out the window and she stands there while he and the children die. Now it's possible she was physically disabled - this doesn't say - and if so that would make sense - but my reaction was why wouldn't a grown adult have attempted to rescue her children too? Why didn't they both immediately begin rounding up children? Then she issues a statement about her loss an peppers it with lament about how much she will miss all her husband did for her. I'm having a hard time coming up with the words to describe what I think of her statement. Those far more experienced at statement analysis could do a better job. But she talks about herself - a lot - and it smacks of narcicism to me. She lost her entire family in one fell swoop and that is the most awful event I can imagine. But I don't understand her response.

Apple said...

Excellent reference. Her children are long gone and she so naturally speaks of them in the present tense.

Wreyeter72 said...

And, no, I didn't take the time to look up how narcissism is actually spelled and my iPhone declined to help me along. Sorry.

john said...

OT..

Max Clifford Arrested By Savile Detectives
1:26pm UK, Thursday 06 December 2012
Max Clifford



Email
Publicist Max Clifford has been arrested by police investigating sexual abuse claims against Jimmy Savile, according to Sky sources.

The 69-year-old is being held by detectives working on Operation Yewtree, a probe into historic sex offences.

Clifford is the sixth person to be arrested as part of the Metropolitan Police investigation.

More follows...

http://news.sky.com/story/1021671/max-clifford-arrested-by-savile-detectives

Anonymous said...

Wreyeter..naturally, a person who is left behind is thinking of their own pain the most. She even says she is not going to talk about the horrid details of that night..I would think she can't let her mind go there constantly, or it would drive her in sane to imagine her children in horror. She does talk about all the things her kids won't be able to do..And, if my husband put me out the window and said he'd go get the kids, I think I'd probably trust him and say stay put...certainly if my physical disability might hinder his effort. I know know anything about this case. Is she under suspicion?? What would she have done, start a fire and HOPE that it worked out everyone died but her? Unless autopsies show they were all already dead, I wouldn't think she did anything.

Anonymous said...

Geez...i should read my posts before I post them..sorry for all the typos and extra words.

Wreyeter72 said...

I didn't mean to imply she did anything criminal here, and I was only speculating maybe she has a physical disability and that would explain some things - no I just found the whole story and her writing about it displayed a certain personality type - I could be wrong.

Anonymous said...

Wreyeter you're an ass. Plain and simple.

Because this woman was a stay at home mom, raising her kids she is narcisstic? Because her husband saved her and then went to save the kids this makes her narcisstic? Her husband worked 2 jobs, (not 3 jobs like you state in your comment)that makes her narcisstic? Because she lost her entire family in one night and she speaks about her feelings and views that makes her narcisstic?

The part in her letter where she urges readers to cherish all the little moments in life, take nothing for granted, really exposes her narcissism. Also when she mentions her sadness because of the things her children will not be able to do highlights her shelfishness as well.

Wreyeter72 said...

Geez you don't have to call names. I'm willing to admit I might be wrong but I'm also entitled to an opinion like everyone else. Calm down already!

Wreyeter72 said...

I didn't mean to imply she had any hand in what is a tragic accident, sorry. An you're right that her words about her children are exactly what I'd expect to hear from a grieving mother.

Randie said...

idk.................

JerseyJane said...

The author is bringing all of us into her experience/tragedgy by her use of "I".

Her "I"s in this tragedy is her lost soul speaking...

72 it's all good, u putting that out there! :-)

Wreyeter72 said...

I'm in a quandary now - should I delete my comments or leave them up and just be thicker skinned.

Hobnob said...

off topic

Publicist Max Clifford has been arrested by police investigating sexual abuse claims against Jimmy Savile, it has emerged.

The 69-year-old is being held by detectives working on Operation Yewtree, a probe into historic sex offences.

Mr Clifford is the sixth person to be questioned as part of the Metropolitan Police investigation.

Sky sources understand Mr Clifford is being held at a police station in central London.

Sky's crime correspondent Martin Brunt said: "He is, as we speak, being questioned by detectives."

Police working on Operation Yewtree had said they were looking at three categories of offences; those allegedly committed by Savile alone, those allegedly committed by Savile and "others", and alleged offences by "others".

Brunt added: "Max Clifford falls within that group of allegations that pertain to others."

Mr Clifford's lawyer, Charlotte Harris, said he would assist the police "as best he can with their enquiries".

A Met spokesman said: "The individual (held today) falls under the strand of the investigation we have termed 'Others'. We are not prepared to discuss further."

Gary Glitter, comedian Freddie Starr, DJ Dave Lee Travis and a man in his 70s, reported to be former television producer Wilfred De'Ath, have been arrested and bailed as part of the probe.

Last month Scotland Yard said it was dealing with about 450 potential victims, the vast majority of whom claimed they had fallen prey to Savile.

There we have the magic words "as best he can with their enquiries".
Limited by guity knowledge or fear of consequences.

I wonder if Scotland Yard are looking at a certain pink princess and maybe a certain group of Doctors as well?

dadgum said...

You're ok, 72.. there have been some 'issues' with bullying. Ignore, and stick around.

Mainah said...

I felt such sadness reading her letter. I have 3 grown "babies" and a loving husband of 25 years. I heard the message she was trying to get to me, and others.

I thought she made her husband out to be a hero...no "blame" toward him or the kids. No unexpected or unnatural qualifiers, considering the circumstances. I thought it was heart-felt. I loved this: "That was my Ben. Always trying to make sure that I was safe, taken cared of, and happy." Notice the order of priority -she honors him first and second for his sacrifice to save her. "trying" means attempted but failed; she is not safe, taken care of or happy without "my Ben".

Following Peters instructions to think of how others speak about "missing" loved ones, a couple things jumped out; "I WOULD give ...", signifies her knowledge and the reality that they are gone and nothing can bring them back. Phoebe DiPietro, in her TV interview says the same about Ayla "I would give...". However, last night I was reading and watching old clips of the father of Carlie Brucia (and several other cases). Through his tears, his pleas to her abductor, and direct communication to Carlie, he also says: "I will give..."



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Mainah said...

No worries from me either, 72...you checked yourself, you'll fit in great! The most insightful and honest people, IMO, are the ones that question their own knowledge and understanding of a given topic.

Some of us welcome people opening a dialog about something and will either treat it with dignity, dump all over it, or ignore it...depending on how it hits us at in the moment.

IMO, it is important to challenge and test a theory, thoroughly. Second opinions, devil's advocates, and the like, can only improve our overall knowledge and understanding.

I think you'll be a welcomed asset!

Mainah said...

OFF TOPIC:

I found similarities in reading about Carlie Brucia's (Joe Smith, FL) and Sarah Cherry's (Dennis Dechaine, ME) cases which were unrelated, but both abductors had a wife and kids, long periods of no work and drug addiction, and just seemingly went out on a drug fueled attack of a innocent 11/12 year-olds, raped, murdered, partially buried...seems something important could be/should be, learned from these cases.

john said...

Hobnob said...
off topic

Publicist Max Clifford has been arrested by police investigating sexual abuse claims against Jimmy Savile, it has emerged.


Oh the irony,i never liked that man.

john said...

OT.

Osborne Denies 'Fiddling' Mini-Budget Figures
The Chancellor tells Sky News that he did not massage figures in his Autumn Statement which appear to show borrowing is falling.12:43pm UK, Thursday 06 December 2012

Video: George Osborne rejects Ed Balls claims over the Autumn Statement figures
Enlarge

Chancellor George Osborne has denied "fiddling" the borrowing figures in his bleak mini-budget.

In his Autumn Statement to the Commons on Wednesday, he said that borrowing would fall this year.

But it quickly emerged that he had included the anticipated income from the sale of the 4G mobile phone spectrum, and without it borrowing would be up by £2bn.

He told Sky News that no political interference had taken place, and that the figures were compiled independently.

"I DONT massage any figures,BECAUSE they're produced completely independently of me now.

"There's no question of political interference, or fiddling, or anything like that.

"When it comes to those sales, the money we expect to get from the 4G spectrum - like other things the Government sells - we make an estimate of how much we're going to get.

"It's accounted for in the exactly same way it was when the last government sold the 3G spectrum."

But Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls said including the 4G mobile network cash was a "dodge".

"He had said that borrowing was falling - only because he slipped in £3.5bn from the 4G mobile sale which he didn't even mention in the speech and the reason is he knew that would be seen as a dodge."

The Autumn Statement also saw Mr Osborne insist that Britain was on the right track, despite announcing that austerity will last until 2018.

Speaking to Sky News, he said: "If you look at this country you've got a country getting to grips with its problems, making sure that it is paying its way in the world."

He also ruled out slashing the foreign aid budget, saying Britain had an "obligation" to the world's poorest.

"I think one of the hallmarks of being British is that we’re a compassionate country," he added.

But Mr Balls branded the Chancellor's management of the economy as "incompetent".

"Growth (is) downgraded, he's borrowing over £200bn more than he planned, his economic plan has clearly failed, his fiscal targets are being badly missed, and he's just ploughing on with the same plan and saying to families you're going to pay more."


Business leaders including Sir Martin Sorrell have welcomed investment
The Sky News Money Panel, made up of high-profile figures from across the fields of business, finance, consumer policy and the economy, was asked to give its reaction to the Autumn Statement.

Ross Walker, UK economist at RBS, said: "The Chancellor had little room for manoeuvre so there were no fiscal policy 'game-changers'.

"The main objective seemed to be to find a number of temporary income streams (Royal Mail pension assets, BoE gilt coupon payments, 4G spectrum revenues) to lower the near-term borrowing projections.

"The main concern, from a macro perspective, is how much more elevated the medium-term borrowing projections are and their projected slower rate of decline," he said.

The founder and chief executive of advertising giant WPP, Sir Martin Sorrell, saw the cancellation of the planned 3p fuel duty rise as the most important short term economic measure.

He said: "From a longer term point of view, the most encouraging measure was the increase in infrastructure investment of £5bn over two years and the £600m investment in science, £270m in further education colleges and £1bn for schools.

"The measure that I welcomed least was the pension limit change in that it will discourage saving but perhaps we have no choice at this time."http://news.sky.com/story/1021503/osborne-denies-fiddling-mini-budget-figures

Apple said...

72,
I also thought it strange reading how she was missing out on how her husband made her feel saying now nobody can make me smile or make me laugh as my husband always did (paraphrase). But then reading the rest I had a better understanding of her words.

Pak31 said...

I was very moved by this woman's letter. I felt her pain and I understand what she was trying to say in it. I feel that her words were very heartfelt and were nothing compared to statements made by Bradley, Dunn, etc. I think that Bradley and Dunn appeared to be more concerned with themselves than their children. But that is just me. I understand why Wreyeter72 is feeling like she's being a bit narcissistic but after re-reading it again, I think she's talking about herself so much because that is all she has left of her family. The letter IS about her and how SHE feels after this horrific turn of events in her life. Her whole family was wiped out. I think it's easier to say in hindsight what she should have done or not done but at the moment no one is thinking clearly. I can't imagine my husband and children gone forever all at once like that. I see that she adored her husband very much and I think she expressed that by saying how much he unselfishly did things for his family, like work extra jobs, save her from the fire etc. I could see my husband telling me to stay outside too. Not that I would but I could see it. Maybe at the time since he got her out so easily or somewhat, he and she both figured he'd be able to get them all out. What is done is done though and I think she's just using her experience to tell people to love each other and cherish what you have because you never know when it will be gone. She's living it, she is telling us what life is like missing out on day to day things. THat is why it's about her so much. Just my two cents.

Mainah said...

Oh John, re: OT

This is hilarious:
"I DONT massage any figures,BECAUSE they're produced completely independently of me NOW."

I read:
I stole, I can't steal anymore, let's move on.

LOL.

Hobnob said...

john said...
Hobnob said...
off topic

Publicist Max Clifford has been arrested by police investigating sexual abuse claims against Jimmy Savile, it has emerged.


Oh the irony,i never liked that man.


I know, isn't it simply delicious heheh

Anonymous said...

Hobs, On other sites we're wondering whether he'll make a plea bargain. Disclosing all he knows and has documented and hidden about celebrities in problems ... ;-) Châtelaine

Anonymous said...

72, all opinions welcome. I wasn't sure how to take it either when she started talking about her husband and what he won't be able to do for her. I tend to think I would speak of losing my children first but I am divorced so my loyalties may be slightly skewed. :)
I cannot even imagine losing my entire family in one night. It could be that they were both already coughing/struggling from the smoke and her husband managed to get her outside. Basically saving her and then going back in for the kids. She may have already been partially overcome with smoke herself and incapable of going back into the house.

john said...

OT..

McAfee Denied Political Asylum By Guatemala
Authorities in Belize - where he is wanted for questioning - say they expect him to be returned to the country "shortly."7:04pm UK, Thursday 06 December 2012
John McAfee sought political asylum in Guatemala

Guatemala has rejected anti-virus software pioneer John McAfee's request for political asylum, setting the stage for his return to Belize.

Lawyer Karla Paz said on Thursday that Mr McAfee, who is wanted by police in Belize for questioning, had been informed of the decision.

The 67-year-old is being held at a Guatemalan immigration detention centre for entering the country illegally.

Police in Belize said they expected him to be returned to the capital city of Belmopan "shortly".

Mr McAfee fled to Guatemala over the weekend with his 20-year-old girlfriend, Sam Venegas, after going on the run following the murder of his neighbour in Belize last month.

Police say they want to question him as a "person of interest" in his fellow US ex-pat's death.

Though intent on eluding police, Mr McAfee has stayed in constant contact with the press and maintained an active blog.

After his arrival in Guatemala, Mr McAfee employed former Guatemalan attorney general Telesforo Guerra to manage his plea to stay in the country.

"[Mr McAfee] is persecuted in Belize, persecuted politically because he stopped financing the government," Mr Guerra said.

Mr McAfee has maintained his innocence since escaping the Belize police on the island of Ambergris Caye hours after his neighbour Gregory Faull was shot in the head on November 11.

Mr Faull, who was found with a 9mm bullet in his head, led neighbours in writing a letter to the mayor complaining that the millionaire's "vicious" dogs and aggressive security guards were scaring tourists and residents.

Before he fled after the murder, Mr McAfee shot dead his four dogs, which he said may have been poisoned by Mr Faull.

http://news.sky.com/story/1021843/mcafee-denied-political-asylum-by-guatemala

Ballistics experts have exhumed the animals and are examining them to see if the bullets match that found in the victim,

Hobnob said...

Clifford has a lot of dirty laundry on a lot of dirty people.

i will bet he will start talking and naming names uf ut means a lighter sentence.

There are going to be a lot of quivering sphincters and a lot of phone calls to lawyers as this progresses.

Callous said...

I feel ya. I'm sure you'll be criticized, but of course, just because someone experiences a tragedy doesn't mean before the tragedy they were selfless people. I know I couldn't live with myself if I hadn't tried to help my husband and kids survive.

Anonymous said...

You're not entitled to an opinion if it isn't ass-kissing and in agreeance with the majority. Lol. I find it's best not to even comment if I'm not in line with the other opinions. You'll get jumped all over

Lis said...

--drying my eyes, now--

Wow, I can't imagine what this woman has been through. It brings out the full meaning of the saying about "going through the fire." Everything lost, everything stripped away.

Wreyeter, I think you brought up an interesting point. I wonder if having been through this horrific experience and lost everyone she loved, if a person is left wrapped up in their own experience of things so powerfully, every moment aware of their pain and all they have lost, maybe it does come out seeming self involved?

But, at the same time, what she is relating is what she misses about each one. She relates all that her husband did for her, I think because he is a selfless hero in her eyes. I think it stands in contrast to those people who downgrade a victim and speak mostly about why whatever happened was not their fault.

I am really going to take her words to heart.

Anonymous said...

This absolutely breaks my heart.

And Anon 2:27, you are correct. If you don't agree on this blogsite you get jumped. I have been jumped too. But no-one is really maen, just passionate so hang in there and say what you believe:)

Lis said...

OT
About John McAfee, I saw this article this morning- http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/12/04/software-founder-john-mcafee-says-hell-seek-asylum-in-guatemala-fears/?intcmp=related

-and I thought this one statement was interesting:

"[Belize] Prime minister Dean Barrow has expressed doubts about McAfee's mental state, saying: 'I don't want to be unkind to the gentleman, but I believe he is extremely paranoid, even bonkers.'"

According to this article http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/06/john-mcafee-arrested-in-guatemala Guatemala plans to turn McAfee over to Belize since he entered the country illegally.

john said...

Hobs,

whos he going to phone.ha

john said...

OT..

Apologies if this has already been posted..

Day 3: ‘This is every parent’s worst nightmare’

By HLNtv.com Staff
updated 10:03 AM EST, Wed December 05, 2012
NEED TO KNOW
What does Nancy remember about Teekah Lewis case?

http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/12/04/lewis-teekah-nancy-grace-mysteries-investigation-day-3-video

john said...

OT..Breaking News..

Max Clifford To Make Arrest Statement

http://news.sky.com/story/1021888/max-clifford-to-make-arrest-statement

Hobnob said...

john said...
Hobs,

whos he going to phone.ha



Ghostbusters LOL

john said...

Hobnob said...
john said...
Hobs,

whos he going to phone.ha


Ghostbusters LOL


Hahahaha

Anonymous said...

a month after losing my whole family I doubt I could write so eloquently. my sister lost her husband a year and a half ago and still falls into such overwhelming grief she won't shower or brush her teeth sometimes for days. when she does talk about him it is all the things she wants to do for/to him, love him, hold him, tell him she loves him. NOT what he did for her. she also doesn't have perfectly worded advice on loving and cherishing your family... she is mad at God one minute and burying her head in my shoulder the next saying "why sister? I want my papa back, why has this happened?" her grief is off the charts and she still has her 3 kids. this woman sounds fake. I bet a buck she writes a book on grief and tries to turn into another ahole Mark Klass
mi&2niñas

Wreyeter72 said...

At risk of getting another smack-down, I've revisited the portion where she talks about finding someone to replace her husband ASAP several times, and I still find it disturbing. Unfortunately I don't know SA well enough to evaluate if she's telling the truth that her husband made her promise to hook up again ASAP after he's gone.

Jersey Jane said...

72, that bothered me too...
She really should of kept that part out of her letter. I have a feeling it's weighing heavy on her heart, to love again or be loved...
Maybe she needed to include it in her letter in order to take that next step. We have no idea what plans are in store for us here on earth... Im guessing there is a part that bothers her or maybe she wants the public to see, yes, my heart and soul hurt even if u see me smile or cry, or even if u see me laughing or enjoying someone elses company...
We all think we would wait but we are not in charge. For there is no magical buzzer that goes off and says "Time to stop mourning your loss, you are allowed to share someone new's company". I personally would find it hard to include talking of someone else in the same letter, but it is important to her she does, for her reasons. She is expressing that, the best that comes of this is the fact that it has opened her eyes to ALL life's gifts and with her gift of life she enjoys every breath she takes for it has more meaning of what is and was..and was doesnt go away, it's a part of the beauty of life that is still out there..

JerseyJane said...

See, we can't even grasp any hurt out of Billie Dunn's words for her Hailey nor see it upon her face, or hear it in her voice. Or touch it in her tears..
She has an empty shell of a soul, no love on her breath that comes from her soul...

violet said...

What does this mean? "You’ll never truly know how much it means to me that I have so many people behind me. I only hope, after reading this, that you continue to believe in me.”

Why would she worry that people would no longer "believe in her" after reading this letter? (Letter? Blog post? Who is she writing this to?)

My impression is that she's maybe dating someone new or thinking about it/ about to start dating someone. There are constant references to loneliness and wanting to find love, and to moving on rather than dwelling in the past. It sounds like she is feeling guilty and is thinking of how people will react so soon after the tragedy.

("Love is a very helpful tool in the salving of your damaged soul. A person does not feel completely whole without it. [...] now my eyes sparkle no more. Until I can find something close to that which I have lost to take away the feelings of being lost, empty, and alone. For some of you, you may say that looking for someone to take that pain away is too soon.")

It only rings true to me in the parts about the kids--what they DID do together and what they DID NOT get to do together. Those sound real and vivid, like real memories. The rest sounds like a self-help book.

Siobhan said...

@ 72 10.30

I agree, I found the word replace an odd word to use too. One may find another love, but no one can replace the love that has been lost. Jmo

Apple said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
What??? said...

I'm pretty sure she is/was a writer so unless your sister is too maybe that's partly why she wouldn't have the ability to express herself as this woman has. Geez...its ridiculous how people will insult others for their strengths. I guess it would make you feel better to see this woman suffer some more because your sister is. Take a look in the mirror. Do you like who you see?

Anonymous said...

Please help find Ayla
Wreyeter72 said...
I usually get aggravated by commenters on sites who attack a grieving person and question their parenting without enough information - so my next words will make me a hypocrite.

that WHAT I AM SAYING IS HOGWASH, but if you sit and think for a moment. You will realize that WHAT I SAY IS TRUE.
. As long as you FIND SOMEBODY that you can share your joys, your sorrow, and your frustration with, then you are AS RICH AS MIDAS

etc,etc