Saturday, November 24, 2012

Social Introductions in Analysis


"Introduce me!"



In a statement, the writer is speaking to strangers (this is why analysis of your friends and family can not only be hazardous to relationships, but also be way off mark), therefore, the same social introductions that exist in life should be found in a statement.  We've covered this before, and I will do some articles soon.

"My wife, Heather..." is a proper social introduction as it uses title (wife) possessive pronoun (my) and her first name (Heather) which indicates a strong emotional bond.  It does not necessarily mean a good relationship (people can have strong bonds and destroy each other but not divorce) but a strong emotional bond.  There are various forms that can be found:

"my wife" without the name, is still strong, but not as.
"the wife" is not good.
"Heather" without title nor possessive pronoun is not so very good.
"my ex wife" is a good, functional relationship.
"the ex" is not good, but there is one even worse:
"the mother of my child" is bad and can be seen where the subject may want to murder her.

When hearing such things, (when written to a stranger, or spoken to a stranger) it will indicate much about the relationship.  Sometimes, language will show, especially during a long statement, that the title may change as the couple argue, and then later return to "good" status.

We even measure when a subject mentions someone:  who is introduced first in a statement?  How many words are dedicated to one person, rather than another?  This is why counts become important.  What isn't said about a person?  What is said?  What is said in the negative?  What is persuasive?  And, on it goes...

We must be careful when drawing conclusions.



9 comments:

Katprint said...

The "social introduction" principles are completely consistent with my tendency to refer to my ex husband as "the Evil Ex."

mommaklee said...

Several years ago, my husband was rather bothered because one of the guys at work regularly referred to his wife as "the wife". We both agreed it didn't seem right. My husband never refers to me that way. With no SA training at all, it troubled us for the co-worker to call his wife "the wife".

Three years ago, one of his coworkers retired with little more than, "I'm retiring, see ya."

We found out this year the early retiree was in prison for indecent liberties with a minor. My husband was very disturbed that he was working with someone who could be a pedophile. He asked what could have been a warning sign that would have clued him in that this guy was not safe.

The first thing that came to mind was the "the wife" guy. I asked my husband if he remembered who was the "the wife" guy and it was the early retiree/prison guy.

"The wife" may not have clued us into the fact that the man was a pedophile, but it would have clued us in that he did not have a good relationship with his wife which could lead to sexual immorality.

All of that story to agree social introductions are important and can tell you a lot.

Anonymous said...

What about "my baby momma" and "my baby daddy"

Frannie said...

Anonymous 5:13pm ---interesting you bring that phrase up. It brought up the memory of Michelle Obama at her husbands victory into Senate in 2004, she introduced him for his victory speach as "my baby's daddy". Maybe nothing, but it sparked in my mind.

Hobnob said...

Frannie said...
Anonymous 5:13pm ---interesting you bring that phrase up. It brought up the memory of Michelle Obama at her husbands victory into Senate in 2004, she introduced him for his victory speach as "my baby's daddy". Maybe nothing, but it sparked in my mind.


It has been bandied about that The obama's were on the verge of divorce at one point.
I can't recall off hand when it was, if it was around that time it could explain the social introduction.

I wonder what changed that they stayed togeather?

Hobnob said...

Clancy isn't a mooch pooch.

He is looking hopeful with menaces

MaryK said...

About twenty years ago we were friendly with another married couple and the husband used to always refer to his wife's daughter as "the Step-daughter". I could never figure out why it bothered me but it did. It just didn't seem 'right'.

Anonymous said...

My dad once referred to me, in my presence, at a meeting table full of people, as "the girl." That pretty much said it all. It was 25 yrs. ago and I still remember it clearly.

Much more recently, our family was together for a portrait. I have two younger brothers, the youngest of whom is his favorite. He introduced only my youngest brother to the photographer, because only his profession is deemed worthy of bragging about. He then went on to brag about his own former career, and then, even his own sports history. No one else was introduced or even mentioned...out of a group of 15 total people!

Again, I think that kind of says it all.

brosnanfan said...

Do the rules apply if the order is changed up, as long as name and marital status are included?

Example: "Heather, my wife."

My husband, Husband (lol, I'm not putting his real name on here), hates to hear men refer to their wives as "the old lady" or "my old lady". Even before I'd heard of SA, that always sounded disrespectful to me and not indicative of a good relationship.