Friday, February 15, 2013

The "Animosity" Between Dylan Redwine's Parents

Mark Redwine would have us believe that Dylan may have run off, for a few months now, with no contact with his family or his close friends, because he and Elaine, Dylan's mother, bicker.  Will Dr. Phil be played by Mark Redwine into this scheme?

Much has been written (and said) about the contentious relationship between missing 13 year old Dylan Redwine's parents, Elaine and Mark. 

It is an unfair characterization. It's too simple-minded.  

It is also the characterization that Mark Redwine recently attempted to use in his deceptive interview. Now they are going to appear together on the Dr. Phil Show.  Will this be a 'love fest' of "can't we all just get along?" tangent, or will Dr. Phil see through the attempt to control?

When a man is violent, there is a desire to shift blame away from himself, or in the least, to share it.  Previous reports about domestic violence include Mark Redwine portraying himself as a victim of an assault by his son.  

This is nonsense

Abusers seek, more than anything else, control.  In fact, it is not always the violence that controls the woman, it is often the threat of violence that causes her to 'walk on eggshells' and avoid upsetting the abuser. Thus is the case of Dylan Redwine, in which, after visiting with his violent father, has not been seen since. 

Here is Mark Redwine's statement:  


It’s frustrating for all of us because there’s so little to go on,” said Mark Redwine. “The tensions are very high between all of us.
"All of us" seeks to portray him with Elaine.  He is not "with" Elaine.

Context:  Mark Redwine is alone.  He is supposed to be speaking for himself.  In fact, not only is he alone, but he is embittered towards his ex wife; very distant from her. 
Note the use of "all of us" is not only additional wording, it is repeated, making it sensitive.  Who would think it is not frustrated?  Of course a parent of a missing child would be frustrated at not finding him.  Why the need to assert this?  The need is what makes it a sensitive statement. 

But notice the desire to make it seem like it is "us" causing tension.  Is it really "us" causing the problems?  This is a desire to shift blame and responsibility, and to force Elaine Redwine to share it.  
We have seen how, when one is talking for himself, goes to the plural, there is often a desire to share guilt or responsibility.  This is something every mom of every teenager knows intuitively.  For Mark Redwine, he wants the public to view this as a bickering couple, instead of seeing him as violent, controlling, angry and...

deceptive about Dylan. 

If this is not bad enough, look how far the deceptive person will go in shifting blame onto his ex wife:

My ex-wife and I both agree that Dylan is not the kind of kid that would run away but I also think that there’s a possibility that Dylan was torn between his parents."

Now he would like the public to blame them both for Dylan's disappearance as if a 13 year old would go missing, for months, because his parents bicker.  This is not only deceptive, it is foolish to even believe the public would buy into this. 

Expect Dr. Phil to say, "hey, we need to put this behind us, and unite for Dylan's sake" which is also folly. 

Mark Redwine knows exactly what happened to Dylan and where Dylan can be found. It is not time for unity.  By saying this, Dr. Phil will play right into the abuser's hands. 

Abusive men love to share and shift blame.  They often blame themselves, over the top, in order to gain sympathy. 

Abusive men are often charmers.  They love to evoke feelings of pity, and be seen as "misunderstood" and will even portray themselves as "the good guy, taking the high road" when it is the wife and children who have suffered under this double-handed player causing her to sit in utter frustration and disbelief on how, yet once again, he has "gotten away with it." The days of 'wink, wink, you know how women are' should not be revived for the Dr. Phil Show.  This is not about Elaine Redwine. 

Looking at Mark Redwine's statements, including the analysis conclusions, causes me to believe that Dylan was not asleep when Mark left; he was deceased.  This is why we hear no quotes from Redwine about Dylan after this point in time.  The text messages Mark Redwine sent after Dylan's death are transparent attempts to build an alibi.  

Dr. Phil will not help if he steps in to play counselor and peacemaker.  He will find himself unwittingly aligning himself with the abuser and doing precisely what the control abuser wants him to do:  help him blame Elaine. 

Elaine Redwine and Dylan's sibling are the victims here, just as Dylan, himself, a sweet boy who had his whole life ahead of him, is the victim of the rage of violence. Dylan wanted to be with his friends more than his father.  Dylan loved his mother, which enrages his father. Dylan, according to description, was like his mother more than he was like his father. 

Whatever the trigger, it was more than what Mark Redwine could abide.  

Elaine said, "He's a wonderful. Loving and selfless child " while Mark said, "who knows what goes through a 13 year old's head?   with its subtle disparagement of his victim as if 13 year olds are utterly without sense. I bet his mother could have answered this question.  Most parents do know what goes on in their 13 year olds' heads.  Then again, most parents would not seek to blame or disparage, even slightly, their missing child.  

Do you recall the teaching of Dr. Adams on 911 calls in which, in domestic homicides, the guilty caller will, at times, disparage the victim, even subtly?  

Elaine portrays Dylan as "loving" and "selfless" while Mark Redwine portrays him in a slightly negative light, as if being 13 was a crime and would cause him to run away, for months, without contacting his friends, just because he and Elaine are not getting along. 

My fear is he’s out there somewhere, able to see what’s going on and he sees the conflict going on between his mom and I,” said Mark Redwine. “I think that’s a huge concern. But who knows what goes through a 13-year-old’s head?.”  Here, Dylan is blamed.  

Why would this be a fear if Dylan was "out there somewhere"?  Wouldn't it be a marvelous comfort rather than believe he is dead?

Dr. Phil, be aware of this technique by abusers.  They have a need to control, including the need to control information and are overly concerned with their image, while the innocent parent is concerned about finding the child. 

We saw this with the incessant defensiveness of Billie Jean Dunn, who, on one side could not stop herself from using foul language and dressing like an inappropriate teenager, while attempting to rehabilitate her image from druggie using negligent mother to "victim" status at the hands of the mean "body language analyst" to the point of threatening suit. 

We saw this with the sensitivity of other parents with guilty knowledge who all showed far more concern with being suspected in the disappearance than they did in finding the child. 

Dr. Phil, do not let Elaine Redwine be pulled into a "joint portrait" of "bickering." It reminds me of the school boy who was behaving but gets lumped in with the misbehaving kids sitting next to him and when he protests, the teacher silences him, as he is unjustly 'lumped' together with the others. 

This is not about bickering or divorced parents not playing nicely together for the sake of their children. 

This is about getting Mark to speak on television.  The more he speaks, the more we will know.  This is about finding Dylan, and finding Justice for Dylan.  

Thus far, we know that searchers should be focused in the areas near or in water, between McDonald's and the home.  We know that what took place between him and Dylan in that time period before 4:30AM was not good.  We know that envy and control, and perhaps even revenge were present. 

Get Mark Redwine to speak.  

50 comments:

john said...

Two question Peter,would it be better for Dr Phil to do separate interviews?Or is it more revealing having them both together to gauge their reactions to one and other?

Peter Hyatt said...

John,

it is a tough question because:

a. Mark has info, so he, alone, can share the most
b. Use Elaine to provoke Mark might yield info

It could work but Dr. Phil's not trained in Analytical Interviewing, which would yield more info, and allow for 2 people to be interviewed together (after separate interviews) in order to provoke the one.

Peter

john said...

Thanks Peter.

I will listen closely and also their Body Language will be very interesting to observe.

Anonymous said...

Peter you nailed it. It's so nice to have the truth on DV put out there.
I am concerned for the Dr Phil interview. He will do what is best for Dr Phil. Many who have been on his show have been re-victimized. I pray he doesn't do this to Dylan's Mom. She really is a good Mother and an inspiration to many.
I'm so glad you're continuing to cover this case. I have grandkids who are 13, from abusive fathers. My heart breaks for Dylan and his mother and my prayers are with her.

Peter Hyatt said...

Anonymous,

Sadly, I have seen abusers con their own mother-in-laws into turning against their "hysterical" daughters. It increases the pain, many fold, for the victim.

Here, being lumped together with him, may be more than Elaine can take.

I admire her courage in putting Dylan's name on public TV at any means available.

Peter

Anonymous said...

I think Dr. Phil will be able to see through Mark.

Check this out though, Peter, Mark has gotten what he wanted, which is to be with Elaine and his family again. It worked. Now he has forced her to pay attention to him, forced her to communicate with him, forced himself into her life again. The key word being forced. Disgusting.

He has to win. He will clearly do anything to win, including killing his own son.

This woman is living a nightmare. If you are married to a man and you have doubts about him, ladies, please don't have children with him.

Pam said...

Thank you Peter for your commentary on abusers and the way they operate. So many people have difficulty seeing through the calm, rational demeaner many of these men portray to the public. I believe this is because rational people expect others to behave rationally and don't recognize subtle irrational behavior.

Read the comments on any article about Mark Redwine. There is usually one poster who believes that MR either killed Dylan or at least knows more than he is saying. There will then be several comments stating the MR is not guilty of doing anything untoward to Dylan and lumping Mark and Elaine together in this or even blaming Elaine outright. If abuse is brought forward, most commenters will state that an abusive husband does not equal an abusive father and go on to defend MR.

Mark has achieved his goal. He has hurt Elaine with the ultimate pain for her rejection of him. I think a man like MR believes that "the end justifies the means". The problem is that when someone believes that, people are going to get hurt (killed).

Anonymous said...

This MR quote is so silly: "My fear is he’s out there somewhere, able to see what’s going on and he sees the conflict going on between his mom and I".
Trust me, he saw the conflict for years.

Sus said...

Thank you, Peter.

Anonymous said...

Watching the interview with Mark Redwine which took place in his home, two things struck me overall, without even delving into statement analysis.

1) Mark Redwine was attempting to *charm* the interviewer. Is this normal? Is it appropriate? Is it necessary? Was charm used to hide (delay, avoid, etc) a lack of pertinent information?

2) Mark Redwine would go off on long and detailed tangents and by doing so would avoid answering direct and simple questions.

The interview would have benefited if the interviewer would have asked "did you kill your son, did you hide his body, and did you have an argument after you picked him up at the airport?"

Anonymous said...

One other observation about the interview in his home: watching it *felt* like watching a job interview where the person applying for the job has zero qualifications.

That person feels obligated to say SOMETHING, so they make stuff up that they think the interviewer would want to hear.

I'm going to call this "nonformation charm."

Jo said...

I think MR will be reluctant to go on the show for fear of giving away information he does not want to reveal but at the same time, he does not want his wife to get the upper hand without him there.

jo said...


“There is a lot of personal conflict between myself, Elaine and Cory as a group,” he said. “These all go back over time. It has nothing to do with Dylan. I think Dylan missing has magnified that to some degree.”


“I’m not afraid of the truth,” he said, “but what I don’t want to see is it turn into a ‘Jerry Springer Show.’


“We need to unite for Dylan’s benefit. ... Hopefully, Dr. Phil will take a position where he can address some of those issues and help us as a family focus on what is really important right now. We don’t have time to be pointing fingers and making blame or standing out in front of my house like a bunch of idiots holding this (stupid) rally to call me out.”

“Quite frankly, I don’t care who has Dylan or for what reason they have Dylan,” he said. “The fact is that they need to let him go and reach out to somebody in his family. And whether that means dropping him off at the nearest Walmart or the nearest post office or the nearest police station or whatever the case may be, let him go.”

http://durangoherald.com/article/20130213/NEWS01/130219806/-1/s

john said...

Wow Jo,

Thats some statement

“Quite frankly, I don’t care who has Dylan or for what reason they have Dylan,” he said. “The fact is that they need to let him go and reach out to somebody in HIS FAMILY

Doesnt he consider himself family is he distancing himself from the Dylan and his family through guilt.

Jen said...

This MR quote is from the DurangoHerald: my comments in ( )

Mark Redwine said he doesn’t want to place blame.

“Quite frankly, I don’t care who has Dylan or for what reason they have Dylan,” he said. “The fact is that they need to let him go and reach out to somebody in his family. And whether that means dropping him off at the nearest Walmart or the nearest post office or the nearest police station or whatever the case may be, let him go.”

(The only person who doesn't want to place blame in a case like this, is the guilty party. I can only imagine the torture of wondering what is happening to your son at the hands of a kidnapper...what they are going thru, are they hungry, cold, injured..are they calling out for you to save them? Imagine the rage that would build inside of you, thinking of someone hurting your baby..no one would deny a parent their right to feel this anger toward a 'kidnapper'.

But not nice, agreeable, charming Mark Redwine. He doesn't care who has Dylan OR for what reason. {because he knows nobody has Dylan, so he doesn't waste his energy caring about 'them'}. He just wants 'them' to drop Dylan off at the nearest WALMART {again he references Walmart first as a point of safety. Dylan was safe at Walmart, but not after in MR's language}, or a POST OFFICE, or strangely as his last choice, a POLICE STATION. In MR's ideal resolution, the perpertrator of this crime against his son is not punished or even caught.)

(link to the full article)
http://durangoherald.com/article/20130213/NEWS01/130219806/-1/News01/Dr-Phil-working-on-a-Redwine-program--

jo said...

It is interesting that his concern for Dr Phil is to unite as a family and not to get Dylan back or get his name/face out there. He makes no mention of his own commitment to playing nice or not contributing to turning the show into Jerry Springer.

Also that conflict is between three of them and not the four of them - even going back....Dylan was never part of the reason for conflict?

Jen said...

Here are the other major quotes from the same Durango Herald article reposted from another thread. Peter if you have time, these quotes would be great for analysis and seem to confirm your assessment of Mark Redwine: my comments in ( )

“There is a lot of personal conflict between myself, Elaine and Cory as a group,” he said. “These all go back over time. It has nothing to do with Dylan. I think Dylan missing has magnified that to some degree.”

(MR is a controlling abuser, he speaks of conflict between himself, his ex and oldest son 'as a group', and separates Dylan from the conflict although he claims 'Dylan missing' (passive) has magnified the conflict to some degree. To me this means MR had lost control over his ex and the oldest son, but still perceived himself to be in control of Dylan, maybe even exercising the ultimate control over his life/future)

“I’m not afraid of the truth,” he said, “but what I don’t want to see is it turn into a ‘Jerry Springer Show.’

(Stated in the negative...he is afraid of the truth or wouldn't feel the need to say that..(why would the innocent parent of a missing child be afraid of the truth?) Dr Phil is a far cry from Jerry Springer so his real fear is being forced to answer for his lack of cooperation, and a national audience seeing his past and current behavior regarding his family.)

“We need to unite for Dylan’s benefit. ... Hopefully, Dr. Phil will take a position where he can address some of those issues and help us as a family focus on what is really important right now. We don’t have time to be pointing fingers and making blame or standing out in front of my house like a bunch of idiots holding this (stupid) rally to call me out.”

(His venom toward his ex-wife and son cannot be contained even as he speaks of the need to unite...in the sentence following his call for unity he calls his ex and son a 'bunch of idiots holding this stupid rally", and even speaks of the position he wants Dr Phil to take. MR wants to control everything.. his methods for 'finding' Dylan haven't been successful, but he wants to dictate the type of help he wants from Dr Phil. He also has a slip of tongue saying 'we don't have time to be pointing fingers or MAKING blame'...which implies his personal perception, 'I blame myself'... whereas, PLACING blame is done by someone else). Also if time is so precious why did he postpone his participation in the show taping?

john said...

Jen,its sounds to like he is trying to control the interview before its even started..

Jo said...

“I’m not afraid of the truth,” he said, “but what I don’t want to see is it turn into a ‘Jerry Springer Show.’

I almost read this as a threat to Elaine. (or arrogance) He is telling her that he is not afraid to be found out or for the truth to come out. He may actually wish he could throw it in her face. To me, the reference to Jerry Springer would be either that things could get physical or as commmon on the show, someone reveals something huge to the other guest on the show. I think he fears that if he is set off, he will get physical or come right out and tell Elaine what he did in order to be in control of the situation or to prove to her that he got the last say in the matter of Dylan.

Hobnob said...

And whether that means dropping him off at the nearest Walmart or the nearest post office or the nearest police station or whatever the case may be, let him go.”

Order is important.
Walmart is his first choice, given he went to walmart the night Dylan arrived it shows as sensitive. What happened at walmart that precipitated the diappearance of Dylan?

Next comes post office
Again it is on his mind and thus sensitive.
What is the link between mark and the post office.

Most would associate safety with a church or firehouse as they are seen as caring, trustworthy and not likely to cuase a big fuss.

Lastly comes police station which is the last place mark wants to go near.
Police stations mean officers, questions, suspicions.
safety for Dylan means danger to the dropper off, danger for mark.

He chose civilian places over places of authority. He fears authority, he knows it means arrest and awkward questions.

Ivy said...

"The days of 'wink, wink, you know how women are' should not be revived for the Dr. Phil Show." Thanks for this Peter.

There is almost no chance Mark won't show at Dr. Phil because even he knows how guilty that would make him look. He might walk off, though, if the conversation goes like it should. That allows him to say he tried to do this for Dylan, but he's such a victim, etc. Other bullies will sympathize. Talk about a Jerry Springer moment. That's where I put my money.

I also very much doubt we will get a Perry Mason moment where he confesses to everything, because, you know he'll go to jail forever. And really, being the only one who knows what happened keeps him in control. Everyone has to be nice to him to keep him talking since he's the only one who has information. As other posters said, he has the rapt attention of poor Elaine and makes her suffer too. He gets to talk to everyone about what a great dad he is and what a lunatic everyone else is for blaming him.

That quote about his fear is nauseating.

Yeah, Dylan wasn't the source of any conflict. That's why dad had to get a court ordered visitation for Thanksgiving and Dylan showed up wanting to go directly to his friend's house. No conflict there. Good stuff.

He will be trying to deflect things and as Peter says, focus on the conflict. Reminds me of Billy Dunn ("nobody ever told me that" etc. )I do hope Dr. Phil doesn't take the bait and asks good questions. Dr. Phil does so like to talk though, and interrupt, and be quite folksy himself. It is the Dr. Phil show, after all.

This is all opinion.

Ivy said...

Questions I hope Dr. Phil asks:

1. I wanted to do this show two weeks ago, why didn't you do it?

2. Did Dylan want to go to spend the night at his friend's house the first night?

3. What did you talk about on the way home from the airport?

4. What did you order at McDonalds?

5. Whose idea was it to go to Walmart? Why did you go there? What did you buy?

6. Did Dylan want to be with you?

7. Why did you want to sit down and talk to him?

8. How did you feel when Dylan didn't want to sit down to dinner with you?

9. Dylan looked upset at Walmart. What was he upset about?

10. Did you touch Dylan's phone?

11. What was Dylan wearing when you left that morning?

Sus said...

Post office has me stumped, too. The only thing I can think of is that a postal worker MAY have sighted Dylan walking with a friend Monday afternoon. I am not certain, but I believe that sighting was discounted.

Now, if any suspicious mail is received, especially from out of the country....

Trigger said...

I don't think that I could go on the Dr. Phil show knowing that my abusive, lying, con artist ex-husband had killed my son and hidden his body as an act of control and resentment.

Elaine must have a strong motive for going on the Dr. Phil show with Mark Redwine.

Maybe she is hoping that Mark will try to control the show and talk too much.

Jo said...

Ivy said
What was Dylan wearing when you left that morning?

I believe Mark mentioned that he had no reason to believe Dylan would not have left wearing the same thing he had on the night before and slept on the sofa in. I believe this is because Dylan will be found wearing the clothes he had on at the airport and Walmart and Mark needs to explain why if he dissappeared in the monring, he was found with same clothes from night before.

Randie said...

Producers of the "Dr. Phil" show have contacted the volunteer group heading the search for Dylan Redwine, the missing 14-year-old from Monument, and are working on arranging a joint appearance by the boy's parents.

The show initially was set for Wednesday, said Denise Hess, who heads Find Missing Dylan Redwine, but it was put off because Dylan's father, Mark, couldn't make it.

Hess said Mark Redwine has since agreed to do the show with Elaine Redwine, his ex-wife and Dylan's mother, and Cory, his son and Dylan's older brother. "Elaine and Cory were ready to do it, but we're having some problems getting Dad on board," Hess said.

Hess said Mark has agreed to do the show on Feb. 20 or Feb. 27, but worries that he still might bail.


Randie said...

This is about a Father that is trying to find his missing son???? A dad tht wants his Son's face out there so we can can be looking for him???

"Producers of the "Dr. Phil" show have contacted the volunteer group heading the search for Dylan Redwine, the missing 14-year-old from Monument, and are working on arranging a joint appearance by the boy's parents.

The show initially was set for Wednesday, said Denise Hess, who heads Find Missing Dylan Redwine, but it was put off because Dylan's father, Mark, couldn't make it.

Hess said Mark Redwine has since agreed to do the show with Elaine Redwine, his ex-wife and Dylan's mother, and Cory, his son and Dylan's older brother. "Elaine and Cory were ready to do it, but we're having some problems getting Dad on board," Hess said.

Hess said Mark has agreed to do the show on Feb. 20 or Feb. 27, but worries that he still might bail."

Why is hiding??????????

Randie said...

THESE ARE BAD SIGNS FROM MARK REDWINE!!!!! (even saying he doesn't care who has Dylan)...

Elaine Redwine, Dylan Redwine’s mother, fights back tears with her older son, Cory Redwine, 21, next to her as she talks about her missing son, who is now 14. The Redwine family is trying to schedule an appearance on the “Dr. Phil Show” to discuss the search for Dylan.

Elaine Redwine, Dylan Redwine’s mother, fights back tears with her older son, Cory Redwine, 21, next to her as she talks about her missing son.

“It’s not a maybe, it’s going to happen,” said Mark Redwine, father of the missing boy. “It’s just a matter of getting it coordinated.”

Denise Hess, who has helped coordinate search efforts for Dylan, also confirmed the plans.

“The family is ready to go at any moment,” she said. “We’re waiting on Mark to decide.”

Producers wanted the Redwine family to tape the show this week in California, but Mark Redwine was unable to attend, he said. Now, the producers want to tape on Wednesday or Feb. 27.

It is unknown when the show would air.

Dylan, 14, was reported missing Nov. 19, 2012, from his father’s home north of Vallecito Reservoir. He was visiting his father as part of a court-ordered visitation during the Thanksgiving holiday.

The boy’s mother, Elaine Redwine, and his older brother, Cory, 21, also plan to appear on the show.

Elaine and Cory Redwine have criticized Mark Redwine for what they perceive as a lack of communication and a lack of involvement in the search for Dylan. They held a rally in front of the father’s house last month in an effort to encourage him to become more involved.

Mark Redwine said appearing on the “Dr. Phil Show” could raise awareness about Dylan’s disappearance and reach millions of viewers across the country. But he doesn’t want it to turn into a tabloid feud between family members, he said.

“There is a lot of personal conflict between myself, Elaine and Cory as a group,” he said. “These all go back over time. It has nothing to do with Dylan. I think Dylan missing has magnified that to some degree.”

“I’m not afraid of the truth,” he said, “but what I don’t want to see is it turn into a ‘Jerry Springer Show.’

“We need to unite for Dylan’s benefit. ... Hopefully, Dr. Phil will take a position where he can address some of those issues and help us as a family focus on what is really important right now. We don’t have time to be pointing fingers and making blame or standing out in front of my house like a bunch of idiots holding this (stupid) rally to call me out.”

Elaine and Cory Redwine were ready to appear on the show this week, Hess said, but Mark Redwine wouldn’t commit to it and didn’t give a reason why.

She was glad to hear he is committed to doing the show.

“(Dr. Phil) has been one of the people that we’ve been aiming for right out of the gate in the beginning in our effort to gain national media attention around this case so that we can get Dylan into the homes of millions of people,” she said. “The more people that know about it, the more people we have looking. So we’re thrilled to have this opportunity to do that.”

Elaine Redwine has appeared by phone to talk to Nancy Grace on her legal-affairs show on the CNN-affiliated Headline News.

Hess said she wouldn’t be surprised if Dr. Phil delves into the family dynamics.

“A lot of people that I’ve spoken to who do watch ‘Dr. Phil’ have said that he goes right in and starts digging for the dirt,” she said. “He’s not afraid to ask the hard questions.”

Mark Redwine said he doesn’t want to place blame.

“Quite frankly, I don’t care who has Dylan or for what reason they have Dylan,” he said. “The fact is that they need to let him go and reach out to somebody in his family. And whether that means dropping him off at the nearest Walmart or the nearest post office or the nearest police station or whatever the case may be, let him go.”

shane@durangoherald.com

john said...

Great shout Hobs,about the order,the police station coming last.

Trigger, this is why i think reading their body language on the show along the language they use is going to be for me,quite revealing,

I expect there to be a lot of micro expressions of anger,contempt and disgust leaking from both of them..

Jo said...

I was listening to the interview again and Mark is asked what did you tell the Marshal. Mark says "that I hadn't heard from Dylan all day" This is not a true statement based on what he has told us about that morning. He should have said "I haven't heard from my son since 6:30 this morning" It is also interesting that he say "heard" and not "seen". He wants to put the focus on the phones and his attempts (alibi)to reach Dylan.

JerseyJane said...

Listen to Dylan texts to his friend, so determined to get into the friends home... It reminded me of how a victim is trying to excape his captor, the boogieman, the monster, the man called dad..

As a 13 year old to sound sooo persistent with the mere getting into his friends home at 630am, makes me believe Dylan picked up on the intense vibe from his dad that young Dylan kicked into the start of survival mode to run, to hide, to be safe...


If someone can please repost the texts to his friend and
take note of that hiding fear that is in that drive in his heart to be safe in a place that he probably considered home, his friends house.. Alot of history, feeling safe there I bet.... Oh lil' man, u deserved to feel safe, at the very least....:-(

Jen said...

Hi JerseyJane-

Here is a repost of the text messages u requested:

Durango Airport: 5:46 pm
Texts to Dylan Redwine's phone:
Ryan: 6:43 pm : I'm in pagosa coming
Dylan: can't come srry ill hang tommarow
Ryan: ok

7:05 pm: Walmart
Ryan: 7:09 pm: why
Dylan: idk

7:22pm: McDonald's drive-thru
Ryan : 7:45pm: did your dad say no

Dylan: 8:01pm: yea
Ryan : oh ok
Dylan: can I come over early like 6:30 early tomarrow
Ryan : yeah
Dylan: you better let me in
Ryan: I will
Ryan : I will be at my gmas
Dylan : I will call all day if you don't
Ryan: ok
Dylan: will you gma care or be up
Ryan: just come around to where the sliding door is were that room is and knocking it and I will wake up

Ryan at 9:27 pm
Ryan: call me when you get here too.

JerseyJane said...

Thanks Jen! I can't see what I type on my old iphone so when my sentences are off, it's worth a giggle or two!! Hehe!!

The two buddies sound so sweet! One worried about respecting gma at early hours and the other one reassuring that u call as a backup when you arrive at my gma.

Ryan is so telling with that oh ok when he heard it was the dad as an explanation... For a 13yo to throw in THAT oh next to a normal ok, says alot...

Vita said...

A possible? there will be two separate interviews? to appease MR? he will demand a private interview? in order for him to provide his side?

If he was awarded a private interview, yes he can remain in control. As this is the issue, he is not communicating with ER. He has enforced to the public that "their unresolved past issues" have reduced them into each others fighting corners.

MR: This isn't about Dylan.
" Quite Frankly" as he said it, translates as a " Matter of fact" which is normally followed with an after thought. Now that I think about it. I don't care who has Dylan,,or for what reason they have Dylan.

Right there is a bolstering statement of contempt. I don't care who has Dy.
--
Who is his contempt for? Elaine. ER is not missing. She demands answers. She her only concern is Dy. She knows her answers are in MR's " held" contempt. This why he can keep at her, from a distance. He won't face her. He is by method slowly chipping away at her. He knows this. He knows her. He knows her weaknesses, as this is how he manipulated her for years.

She is above this song and dance. She let go, the second Dy was said " vanished". Her present, Dy, his unknown is her weakness. He knows this too. As he holds the keys to what happened to Dy and where Dy is. Dy's missing, his whereabouts unknown, his belongings all to dash away vanish within the hours, his cell phone to be the same. MR to have taken Dy on his last ride, in the remote area of the County Road. Head scratching is not necessary.

Quoting George Carlin. On losing and or misplacing something, not someone but it suits here all the same. When people say "It's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the bleep would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

Of George, one responded on line, copied/pasted is their ponder on GC's quip. *Okay you know how when you lose something and someone tells you it's in the last place you look. Well what if you give up looking but end up finding it even though you stopped looking for it. Was it really in the last place you looked? even though you gave up looking?

The above ponder equates to me
" it was never lost to begin with" You knew or didn't care where (lost) was, you simply chose to leave it, as it was when you had it. It being insignificant, No need or urgency as this had zero value to you. People, human nature, when we lose something, misplace something that is needed and necessary, we do not stop looking, not until it is found.

MR's own said, I don't care who has Dy. Ding Ding Ding -Dy is not lost, nor missing. He isn't even misplaced. MR knows where Dy is. He to tell, he loses everything. Control over ER is his power. Dy his own said, this isn't about Dy.

Dy to MR, is more valuable lost than he is found. MR planned this, he executed his plan, he now is the King of his ego. He won? no, not yet. His plan is E's reaction.
He at present, wants Elaine to be his Match -his being passive aggressive. Dy, his custody the temp perm custody E awarded in Sept 2012. Yes was the tipping point.
His quid pro quo Clarice: "Looks like we're even, don't you think Elaine?"

If this isn't the case than bring it, show the world who you really are. He is a cold bitter bastard. Dy alive or dead no meaning to him. This is about Elaine " he wants her to die" a slow torturous death, her conscience was/is his target. His vested is destroying her. She provided Dy a new life, MR not in it? no he did this all by himself, his corruption was his own. He lost Dy a long time ago.
DY soared in both worlds, he valuing his past relationships, his friends. His friends he valued. MR insignificant. 11/18 MR's Day of Reckoning, as he planned it.

domino said...

Jersey Jane, I read the tone between Dylan and his friend in the same way.

That whole text exhange is heartbreaking on a few levels. It reveals much about Dylan's character (and the character of his friend) and his state of mind. This boy, this good boy. I want boys - who turn into men - like him walking around this world and becoming a "member of society." Not fair.

Jen said...

Hi JerseyJane-

I think you are right..Dylans friend probably knew why he didn't want to be with his dad. I've mentioned before that Mark Redwine appears to be an alcoholic and usually that includes some ugly run-ins witnessed by or at least relayed to friends..they probably knew of the strain between father and son, and the forced visit.

I've also read the texts a few times looking for clues as to whether it's possible that at some point Dylan is no longer writing the responses, and possibly MR is using the phone to further establish an alibi. It does seem like Dylan's earlier responses (excluding the first when he apologizes for not being able to come) are very short, one word responses. Then after the time Dylan and MR are said to have gone to McDonalds (which has shown to be a sensitive area in analysis of MR's other statements) the responses from 'Dylan' become longer and detailed.

Dylan had already texted Ryan saying they would hang out tomorrow, so what prompted Dylan to revisit the issue? Maybe he felt the need to finalize their plans, or maybe some kind of conflict spurned him to contact his friend and set up an early escape from his visit. It has always baffled me that DYLAN would plan to leave so early.

Or maybe the style of the texts change because Mark Redwine is using Dylan's phone to set up the next days scenario, and Dylan has already been attacked. If MR sent the texts then his objective was to build an alibi by making it seem like Dylan had plans to visit Ryan EARLY and was really eager to get there. This gives MR a plausible reason for why Dylan would 'disappear' while he was in town running errands (and his presence in town gives him an alibi for the time HE SAYS Dylan went missing).

Anonymous said...

"There is a lot of personal conflict between myself, Elaine and Cory as a group,” he said. “These all go back over time. It has nothing to do with Dylan. I think Dylan missing has magnified that to some degree.”

Blaming Dylan again.

Vita said...

Two part -post

The transcript of Dylan and Ryan -
* think of two 13 yr old boys, the voices saying this text exchange out loud. 7:22pm: McDonald's provided by LE, as where Dylan was witnessed at.

Ryan : 7:45pm: did your dad say no
Dylan: 8:01pm: yea
Ryan : oh ok

7:45-8:01 -Dy was inside Mark's Truck, in route to his house.

NO Mincing on Dy's end.
Dylan: can I come over early like 6:30 early tomarrow
Ryan : yeah
Dylan: you better let me in
Ryan: I will
Ryan : I will be at my gmas
Dylan : I will call all day if you don't

Dylan begins with CAN I? He did not text, I will come, nor did he text I will be at, as a definite.
His text: Can I come over early, like 6:30 early, ..this is crack of dawn. This is not assured words texted, it was for Ryan to provide a response, to Dylan's CAN I? how was Dylan to go to Ryan's? This isn't relevant. This was not about transport, this was he needed his friend, that moment.

This was DY confirming he had a confidant, somewhere to run to. A cry for help as I see it.

Politeness is not of two 13yr old boys. Dy feeling insecure at the exact moment, he had been presented with a shock of NO! by MR moments before. DY fight or flight, he feeling scattered, *CAN I? come over early, like 6:30 early, he then gaining his footing, knowing Ryan was receiving his text, was his contact. Dylan's texted words express urgency, reinforced by the, "like 6:30 early"

Early, like 6:30 early, he by texting a time was his intent reinstated to Ryan, this is serious, coming from DY. He communicating by text, not verbal, he wanted out of his father's presence, ASAP. Crack of dawn, hell or high water, I am out of here Ryan. This was not about he and Ryan meeting up, to hang.

This was he feeling connected with Ryan, as he knew once he reached Ryan " physically" all would be secure, safe, his known. Yeah, Ryan's response, did not meet the urgency of Dy's emotional state. His next, I am not fooling, * You Better Let me In*

Ryan: I will
DY: I will call all day, not TEXT but CALL, if you don't ...

This then Dylan knew his phone worked inside his father's house.
What was the if you don't ?, Ryan not letting him in? no it was Ryan being awake to let him in at 6:30 am.

DY: Will your gma care or be up
This shows Dylan owned empathy. He being in the situation he was in. As his mother said of Dylan, he was selfless. She is proven here, he was selfless.

-- GAP of TIME--

Vita said...

MR's answer to reporter, what time did you arrive to your house. MR's said response wishy washy, 8:15, 8:30ish. His answer of when they left McDonald's same. 7:30ish.
If you follow Mark's said timeline,
time is lost. You cannot discount the time of Dylan and Ryan's texts.

The text bet Dylan and Ryan began at 8:01, there texts began and ended mins later. Dy did not text Ryan after that time. This is not expected, but unexpected. Why? he once arrived to his father's house was said by MR he was texting, I assumed he was texting. He giving the great detail of where DY told HIM, he could GET service.

Ryan reconfirming at 9:27 with Dylan, call me, when you get here, he not knowing if he would be awake. As 6:30 to a 13 yr old, asked on short notice, is like asking an adult to be awake at 4am on their day off. I will try, but call me, an alarm to ring, that I will be up, to let you in. *Ryan* to reassure not DY, but himself, as he requested DY to call him, as a fail safe. This over 90s min later. Because why? He didn't receive any texts from Dy post his last, is why. He Ryan feeling it, something wasn't right. I better let him know, being the "too" added. Had he texted, " Call me when you get here" Would be he responding to DY, in a confirmation. This wasn't the case. He Ryan texted DY, as an after thought. Because there was silence between the two of them. 90 mins of Silence.

Ryan at 9:27 pm, Ryan: call me when you get here too.

MR interview: http://youtu.be/fGEwCBPy90w

Go to 12:12, 8:15-8:30.
She attempting to understand, throws at him, so he was Texting his friends, I am not,, He chimes in on where service was or wasn't available, he mentions the Dam, the Lake. He DY did text within the ride, Ryan is proof.

MR commits to he was texting, doesn't say in the truck, he avoids, and then in a breath, places DY on the couch, and offers a long winded of explain. What Dylan told him, being the 2 places he could " get" service. Get's service? I believe he is stating within his jabber, two points in the house, that were sensitive to Dylan's " demise", he took Dylan's phone, went to his room and read the texts.

His room and the end of the couch, Mark knew as he found out for himself, where the phone activated, he to read the private texts between he and Ryan. The next of MR is his response of her question, what happened after the movie. I find it interesting is all this blather said by MR. He all over the place, he offers no closing of the evening.

He enters HIS " AM" of Monday. His words verbatim. * I get UP to go* not that he awoke, his words get UP to go, he becomes stern on the time, his premeditated planned to leave, which was OH BIG RED TRUCK " 6:30 AM" "Well I wanted to leave (disgruntled)" WHO else was to not only leave but be somewhere " ELSE", made a plan, had a plan,
had planned to be out of the house prior to 6:30AM - DYLAN.

His phone was his, held, prized, doubt he showed MR his personal private texts, escape hatch with Ryan. As they got into an argument that DY was told NO, around 7:45pm ish. He revels in his own, that it was Dy not waking up, that prevented his leaving, not prevented his to do list.

Dylan had it as his, he confirmed, he to be outside of Ryan's Grandmas' at 6:30am. This was not Dy's to do list. This was not Dylan resting upon Mark's sanctions, this was Dylan's secret.

He to add the cos he had talked to me about seeing, his friend, Ryan that morning. HOW would he know this? " This was private" This was private between Dy and Ryan. He MR gained possession of DY's phone and he READ the texts messages. He took Dy's phone from him when?

After Ryan's last text? 9:37? - as it did come through. 9:37, 90 mins of " silence" Ryan texts Dylan. His said of arrival, 8:15-8:30ish. One hour and 22 mins post his said arrival, was Ryan's last text.
--
more next, 3 posts,

Vita said...

That movie he wanted to watch. No one watched that movie. This why he cannot but makeshift a BS story to appease the reporter. As her question is of what time, what happened after the movie, what was Dy doing?

His own said, @14:00, My concentration on one thing for two hours is a little hard for me, where did Dylan fit into these 2 hours, that he could not concentrate on one thing?

His concentration apparent was on " Dylan's Phone" not Dylan. MR's response is perverted hearsay: I know Dylan was tired because he had indicated to me, that he had been up to till 4oclock the night before, and that he had spent most of the day at the airport, traveling to get here. Perverted: Having been corrupted or distorted from its original course, meaning, or state.

MR: 14:28 the movie, being finished, at some point, I was pacing the floor, and got UP, and was taking care of a few little things, you know, over here at the kitchen table, *while we were doing that*, but you know, it's shortly after the ending of that movie which my guess, and I don't recall, because I don't keep track of the Clock, you know, and it must of been, I thought it was earlier in the beginning because I was fairly tired anyway and I know Dylan was tired because he had indicated to me, that he had been up to till 4oclock the night before, and that he had spent most of the day at the airport, traveling to get here.. that he was tired, and you know it's seems to me, that it had to be around 10:30'ish maybe by the time the movie got done, somewhere in there, and you know shortly after that, I ran UP and went to bed, and he finished UP doing whatever he was doing, watching Nickelodeon, or whatever he was watching,,and you know

Now in one breath, it's Monday
I get UP to go run my errands cos I had a payroll issue that needed to be dealt with first thing Monday Morning, cos that's when payroll goes in, and so it was important for me to get DOWN there
as early as possible,,,

Well I wanted to leave at 6:30 so I would be there at 7:30 when they opened the doors, you know, I spent 45mins an hour trying to get Dylan to waaake up..helping him, saying you know Dylan, I am going DOWN, cos he had talked to me about seeing his friend Ryan that morning.

16:20 Question by Reporter, So do you remember what was the last thing you said to him, leaving?

He doesn't skip a beat, he is prepared. He in his statements says in great length of where Dy's phone didn't activate, work, DY told HIM two places where he could
GET service in the house. His statement here, he is pissed. He is the parent, he is articulating that he said this to an asleep unresponsive Dylan who he for 45 mins an hour attempted to rise, yet Dy did not " respond", he didn't even talk back. 45 mins an hour his exact said. He wanted to LEAVE at 6:30 am.

His said, of the night before, had to be around 10:30ish, maybe by the time he movie got done (got done) somewhere in there. All sense of place is missing, forget MR's time, time is moot of his said. I ran UP and went to bed.

I have listened to MR speak. He calls his home locality "UP There" and he calls Town " DOWN there".

I ran UP and went to bed, he didn't go to sleep. He ran UP somewhere in his locality. He put Dylan to bed, permanently. He, MR finished him, finished Dy " UP".

The words below he stated was his last words said to Dy, as he left. Note, Mark Redwine has a landline inside his house. If you need anything call me. Should it not be the father checking on son, not son checking on father?

Yeah, ( irritated) Dylan, I am leaving to go DOWN to town to run my errands, if you need anything call me, call me when you get UP, If there is anything you need, (irritated voice tone changes) Never heard from him, I (sic) sent him text messages, you know asking him, Hey dude are ya UP yet, call me, is there anything you neeeed, and by the time I got UP here, it was close to about 11:30..probably.

Dirk said...

Interesting comments, all...

I wonder, however, to what extent Statement Analysis is able to take into account the subject's upbringing, geographical and social background, education, mental state, native intelligence, etc. I ask because it seems that the areas you may have missed the mark (pun intended) are due to your not accounting for the above factors.

Just thought you might like to know.

Gambler777 said...

When it gets to the end of the month (Mark said he'd go on Dr. Phil around the end of Feb.)I think he'll have another reason why he doesn't want to go on.
I didn't hear the reason he gave for not being able to do it this week. Whatever the reason it couldn't have been as important as getting the story of his missing son on an internationally broadcast Tv Show.
A parent whose truly concerned would've dropped everything and did The Dr. Phil Show this week. This lack of urgency is one reason I think he knows what happened to Dylan and where his remains are. If he did kill Dylan, maybe he's giving police and searchers a few more days to search. If they find his remains, Mark has avoided Dr. Phil questioning him.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to "innocent before proven guilty"? This man has had the finger pointed at him since day 1. Let's just focus on finding Dylan and quit the blame-game.

Mel said...

Anonymous, the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" applies to our criminal justice system. This is not a court, this is a website about statement analysis. Mark Redwine is not entitled to live free of scrutiny from society, he's just entitled to be considered innocent in court until he is proven guilty.

On another note, is there any sentence that exemplifies the SA concept of negative statements show sensitivity than Mark's statement, "I'm not afraid of the truth"? What innocent parent would say something like this in this context? If you are innocent and your child is missing, of course you would be afraid of the truth, wouldn't you? I'd be terrified. This is a confrontational statement that sounds like, "I'm not afraid to be confronted with the truth," which he probably is.

Honore said...

TO DIRK--
Yes, Statement analysis does NOT need to take that into account, I believe. Alot of the comments here are not based on TRUE Statement Analysis (SA), but very good insights still.

All of us who were new in the beginning asked the same questions you have asked, and are good questions to clear up.

SA looks at PRONOUNS, when they change, like from I to WE (then in which places they change) so someone can investigate those areas that have been highlighted for more information. There are other areas of SENSITIVITY that are highlighted by many indicators such as repetition, etc. Leaving out pronouns, like "Left for the store" instead of "I left for the store" --when the person has used pronouns earlier (which shows they know how to use them). When they leave them out, it could indicate they are also leaving out something that happened. There is more, of course

There are SA basic guidelines somewhere here. But when reading what Peter Hyatt himself analyzes, please pay good attention. Many of us here are newbies and learning and some are very good students already
--

Dirk said...

Interesting comments, all...

I wonder, however, to what extent Statement Analysis is able to take into account the subject's upbringing, geographical and social background, education, mental state, native intelligence, etc. I ask because it seems that the areas you may have missed the mark (pun intended) are due to your not accounting for the above factors.

Just thought you might like to know.
February 16, 2013 at 1:56 AM

JerseyJane said...

So many excellent posts, wow!! Good stuff..

Just one more thought...
In every interview, dad has to get his digs in on the X. Media, general public, everyone has picked up on this man's elevated level against his X. For goodness sake, ur son is MISSING!!! I find myself screaming at the articles! But it doesn't work, more articles with the same and Dylan gets thrown into the mix now...Dad mocking on Dylan saying he is acting like a typical 13yo...
What I believe is dad may have had plans to have Dylan at this attorney's office meeting..maybe Dylan countered with going to his buddies at that time... Dylan had his head buried in his phone playing games on it on silent mode and dad took it as Dylan texting mom rapidly and continuously and walloped him in the head big time. I can feel him boiling over just watching Dylan consumed with his phone, no control for dad (with this one either), building up and up...Sounds simple but his weapon has been his bottled up aggression, rage, bitterness, etc. evident in his interviews to this day...

Lis said...

Dirk, your question is asked by many people when they are new to statement analysis and has been explained in past articles. I hope you get a chance to read up on them.

The quick answer is, it makes no difference. People use pronouns and verb tense reliably, regardless of regional differences. People add in extra detail when they are trying to distract from a lie. People avoid lying directly and use predictable patterns of avoiding answering the question yet implying they have answered it.

When a person says "I also think that there's a possibility that Dylan was torn between his parents" - Dylan WAS (past tense) torn between his parents- why would Dylan have once been torn but it is in the past? The subject is indicating that he has reason to believe Dylan is no longer feeling torn.

There is no regional dialect where people refer to the present or future as the past.

Remember that in the comments, we who are novices are posting what we are learning, so there are going to be mistakes.

Lis said...

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to "innocent before proven guilty"? This man has had the finger pointed at him since day 1. Let's just focus on finding Dylan and quit the blame-game.

----

Anonymous, what part of figuring out if the father is lying does not have to do with finding Dylan? If he is lying, then the shortest route to finding Dylan is determining that.

Lis said...

Anonymous said...

This MR quote is so silly: "My fear is he’s out there somewhere, able to see what’s going on and he sees the conflict going on between his mom and I".
Trust me, he saw the conflict for years
-------
I agree, Anon. Like many of his statements, it does not bear up to scrutiny. If Dylan has been abducted, his least worry is the conflict going on between Redwine and his mom. He doesn't seem to be able to get that.

This statement also bothers me because it reminds me of statements about the dead, where people express the feeling that the person may be able to "look down from up there" on what is going on down here. Just replace "out" with "up" and there it is. It's just kind of eerie to me:

"My fear is he’s [up] there somewhere, able to see what’s going on and he sees the conflict going on between his mom and I"

He's trying to set up the idea that Dylan ran away because of the conflict between Redwine and his mom and it just doesn't "pass the straight face test" as they say. The only one who cares about the conflict is Redwine and that he cares about it first and foremost shows.

Anonymous said...

When MR says "He Attempted to wake Dylan and Dylan did not respond". This is foretelling that Dylan was harmed out of a reaction of rage. MR harmed Dylan causing his death accidentally That night and then tried in a fit of panic to get a response out of his son, but he was dead. MR Makes it seem as if this happened in the morning however this was the night of Dylan's arrival that this occurred. Speculation but with every lie there are elements of truth behind them