Leanne Bearden was reported missing, but we soon learned that police called off the search and stated that she left on her own free will.
Reports now say that she hung herself just a few blocks from the home.
If so, suicide by hanging is considered a 'violent' form of suicide, contrasted with a more 'gentle' or 'non-violent' overdosing of pills. Suicide by hanging is often preceded by a period of anger or rage.
The reward in this case was strange. I have not seen a reward divided into two sections as in this case. $10,000 for her exact location and an additional $10,000 for information that leads to her return. This might suggest that they knew she was suicidal.
The husband's statements, though not indicated for deception, did show distancing language with the repeated use of "we" in his statements. A missing wife is unclose and personal to a husband, yet in the words of Josh Bearden, the language was "we" continually, and he expressed no hope of finding her alive in his "never ever" stop searching statement.
We also saw an acute reaction to the public's questioning of this account. Not accused of murder or causing the disappearance, Bearden called it "hateful" questioning. This, when combined with the language of plurality ("we" and "us" constantly), made her disappearance sensitive. I read of some claiming to be close to the family condemning the writing that sex offenders should be checked in the area. It was written that this was an insult to Leanne. Dillingham's research showed what all parents know: the word "we" is used when the word "I" is appropriate, when one wishes to share responsibility or guilt, as if being 'lost in the crowd', like the school boy saying, "well, everyone was doing it!".
Why would due diligence be insulting to Leanne? If this was my wife, I would want ever offender in the area questioned.
It is likely that he knew her intention when she left the home as there was likely rage on her part, whether it be from the adjustment in lifestyle, from having traveled the world for two years, or, something even stronger, difficulty in marriage.
Texas Equasearch appeared to have known that this was not a search for a missing person in the regular sense of the word, which indicates that either Tim Miller was told, or sensed, that there was great trouble at home.
All marriages have trouble, and suicide, in all cases, leaves behind survivor guilt, even in the best of circumstances.
My heart goes out to Josh Bearden, and to Leanne's family. Should this be concluded that she committed suicide, no matter what, they will all suffer.
I do not see any shame should they have gone public and said that Leanne was not in a good emotional state and they feared suicide. This would have concentrated the search very locally, instead of false leads in another city.
Whatever ailed Leanne was too much for her to bear.
All remaining family members will feel guilt, even if they had nothing to do with what ailed Leanne. This is because when we love someone, we will ask ourselves what we could have done differently. It is only natural. "Why didn't I recognize the signs?" and "If I had only..." are among the things the loved ones will say.
One of the worst things that can happen is when someone expresses suicidal ideation and it is dismissed as "drama" or attention-seeking behavior.
Sadly, some who commit suicide do articulate their feelings, which later, leaves family bereft of comfort.
Josh Bearden and Leanne's family need to heal now. Best is quietness and professional intervention where needed. Those who knew and loved Leanne are hurting, and will for a long time.
It is a tragedy all around.
Most people in life have moments where they "despair of life", even as expressed by the Apostle Paul.
He had been run out of town, viciously maligned, and eventually was stoned by a mob, twice, and escaped with his life. A third stoning commenced, with the mob dispensing because they thought he was dead.
I can only imagine the psychological scars from these experiences. Did he, for his remaining years, wake up screaming in nightmares due to the vicious imprint upon his brain of an angry crowd throwing stones at his head, in an attempt to kill him?
My guess is that he most certainly did.
There is an ancient expression that each of us should not only remember, but embrace:
Everyone of us has a "crook in the lot", that is, within our "lot in life", there is something that is wrong; very wrong.
The "perfect family" does not exist.
Just as we all have physical health issues, we all have mental health issues as well. Everyone suffers, and those you view as seeming having everything in life, do not. It is a lie.
Behind the success are scars one may not see.
Each of us has shame in life.
Each of us has things that, given a chance to relive life, would do differently.
It is when these things begin to pile up one someone that the person may feel that there is no solution, or no out of the crook, and just talking about it can sometimes bring in better focus in life.
A writer who learned of his wife's infidelity had gone to a New England cabin to commit suicide. His foundation was gone. His wife of many years, from whom he drew his self esteem naturally, had left him.
He was determined to end his life, as he could not bear the shock. He did not see it coming.
He decided to write a letter to his grown children to explain his suicide. On the outside, he appeared to be a successful writer and was even financially comfortable.
As he wrote what had happened in his life, he found himself writing all day and into the night. He decided to postpone his suicide until the next day, as he wanted to finish the lengthy letter.
The next day he continued writing, explaining what had gone so terribly wrong in his life, in a way in which his grown children could now understand.
Marvelously, as he wrote, things came into perspective. He found that he was not overwhelmed by the details as he was just a day before and by the next day, he felt good enough to not commit suicide, but instead, decided to rebuild his life.
Thus the pressure on the brain was alleviated by his writing.
If you today are reading this and feel such despair, or if you would like to learn more about the tool of journaling to help with mental health, please consider this as an option, writing out what you have gone through first, and what you feel about it secondly.
Here are some books I have purchased in the past year that might help:
Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions
Writing as a Way of Healing: How Telling Our Stories Transforms Our Lives
Psychological Trauma and the Adult Survivor: Theory, Therapy, and Transformation, (Brunner/Mazel Psychosocial Stress Series, No. 21)
Perhaps good will come from bad, as suicidal awareness through Leanne's plight might save a life.
I think her family would be glad to see someone else's life saved.
I think her family would be glad to see someone else's life saved.