Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Jesse Ryan Loskarn: Statement Analysis

Jesse Ryan Loskarn was arrested for child pornography and later committed suicide.  This is his letter.  Statement Analysis will look for truth or deception, and indications of childhood sexual abuse.  

Jesse Ryan Loskarn's Last Message:
On December 11, 2013, I was arrested for possession of child pornography.  Writing those few words took a long time; seeing them in print is agony.  But I owe many, many people an explanation – if that’s even possible – and that’s why I’ve written this letter.
Note that the letter begins with the pronoun, "I" and speaks of the arrest.  As we say, the first sentence often reveals the reason for the statement, and in this case, it is plain.  He is writing it because of the arrest.  
Note that even seeing them in print "is" (present tense) agony.  This is a very strong statement and should be seen in light of suicide.  He uses no word to qualify the "agony", making it stronger.  He believes that suicide will end the agony.  
The explanation of "why" he was arrested is the reason for the letter.  This coincides with the principle of the opening portion of a statement (letter, email, etc) is always important and often the reason of the statement. 
The news coverage of my spectacular fall makes it impossible for me to crawl in a hole and disappear. I’ve hurt every single human being I’ve ever known and the details of my shame are preserved on the internet for all time.  There is no escape. 
The pronoun use is strong.  He does not distance himself from what he experienced.  This is very personal. 
Instead of "I hurt" he uses "I've hurt", which elongates the period of time in the past, as ongoing.  This is an indication that he is aware of the passage of time he has hurt those he knew "every human being I've known..."
My family has been wounded beyond description.  My former boss and colleagues had their trust broken and their names dragged through the mud for no reason other than association.  Friends’ question whether they ever really knew me. 
Everyone wants to know why.
I’ve asked God.  I’ve asked myself.  I’ve talked with clergy and counselors and psychiatrists.  I spent five days on suicide watch in the psychiatric ward at the D.C. jail, fixated on the “why” and “how” questions:  why did I do this and how can I kill myself?  I’ve shared the most private details of my life with others in the effort to find an answer.  There seem to be many answers and none at all.   

Here you can see the difference in time passage, and we note the order: 
1.  I've asked God
2.  I've asked myself
3.  I spent and not "I have spent", as he addresses this specifically as "five days" whereas the above have a passage of time that is not exact.  This is a good example of the difference. 
That he asked God first shows that he felt answers were needed above his own powerful intellect.  It may be that his powerful intellect kept him from seeking professional intervention as he may have found therapists and doctors who did not impress him.  This is not uncommon. 
The first time I saw child pornography was during a search for music on a peer-to-peer network.  I wasn’t seeking it but I didn’t turn away when I saw it.  Until that moment, the only place I’d seen these sorts of images was in my mind. 
Here is the first hint of weakness:  "I wasn't seeking..." is in the negative.  Searching for music will not produce child pornography unless there is a certain element within music.  This may be something he did not come to terms with (denial), yet he states strongly "I didn't turn away when I saw it" with the strong pronoun use.  The denial may be evident in his next sentence where he admits fantasizing about children and sexuality.  Because of the immense pain he was suffering, some minimization is expected, yet in this letter, it is remarkably low. 
What kind of music is found on a "peer to peer" network.  
What one reports in the negative is always important:  "I wasn't seeking..." yet uses the word "but" to refute.  
"I didn't turn away" is a very strong admission.  The pronouns throughout this statement are strong. 
Note that "the first time" presupposes that there was a second time, in the least. 
I found myself drawn to videos that matched my own childhood abuse.  It’s painful and humiliating to admit to myself, let alone the whole world, but I pictured myself as a child in the image or video.  The more an image mirrored some element of my memories and took me back, the more I felt a connection. 
Statement Analysis principle:  When one uses the word "child" to describe oneself, it is a signal that the subject may have been abused as a child, with this abuse being 80% likely sexual.  
"felt a connection" is something that child abuse victims, as adults, often say.  This may be because the brain was so acutely impacted early on, that the imprint is powerful and something in adulthood can trigger it.  Pornography, (adult) is harmful to survivors (I can argue that it is harmful to everyone) as it can touch upon a brain's connection and trigger many issues.  
This is my deepest, darkest secret. 
As a child I didn’t understand what had happened at the time of the abuse.  I did know that I must not tell anyone, ever.  Later the memories took on new and more troubling meaning when I became a teenager.  They started to appear more often and made me feel increasingly apart from everyone else. In my mind I instigated and enjoyed the abuse – even as a five and nine year old – no matter the age difference.  Discussing what had happened would have meant shame and blame. 
These are indications that he is telling the truth.
1.  Reference to himself, again, as a "child"
2.  Having no "voice", as the child feels muzzled by the perpetrator
3.  "apart":  this is the brain's way of protecting itself:  disassociating from the abuse.  This is often the case in highly intelligent victims and leads to mental illness.  (DID).  The child's imagination "escapes" the abuse, and the victim will describe 'almost watching, while floating above' the abuse take place.
4.  "enjoyed the abuse":  if the perpetrator did not inflict pain, but the sensations were pleasurable, the victim will sometimes suffer even more from it, as guilt is not added to the powerful equation of hell unleashed in their soul.  
For me, this is an inescapable proof of having been created in the Image of God.  A child is touched, sexually, and not injured physically, but actually touched in a way that brings pleasure, yet the damage, often surfacing in adolescence and then re-emerging in the 30's, is acute.  The victim suffers for life for what was done in childhood.  Physically, this makes no sense, yet, it is a form of violence done against the Image bearer.   It hurts the victim and everyone that loves the victim.  
I always worried someone might look at me and know, so I paid close attention to others for any sign they might have figured it out.  
This is also common among victims:  the shame is so deep, and so intense, that they believe others can see it.  They often hide their faces and hate having their pictures taken.  They think others can "see" and "tell" that they have this shame upon them.  
No one ever did.  By my late teens I reached a sort of mental equilibrium on the matter.  I couldn’t stop the images from appearing altogether, but I generally controlled when they appeared. 
The high levels of hormones (natural strength) keeps the damage at bay, but middle age is coming, and when hormones drop, often for women, for example, in their mid-30's to mid 40's, the suffering explodes as the brain has not forgotten what was done.  
As an adult I thought I was a tougher man because of the experience; that I was mentally stronger and less emotional than most.  I told myself that I was superior to other people because I had dealt with this thing on my own. 
The natural strength in overcoming?  No, it is actually denial.  Having forced down the abuse, the brain's tension remained to do its damage.  This is why intervention is critical.  
Those I worked with on the Hill would likely describe me as a controlled, independent, and rational person who could analyze a situation with little or no emotion.  That’s how I viewed myself.  In retrospect, the qualities that helped me succeed on Capitol Hill were probably developed partly as a result of the abuse and how it shaped me. 
Dissociative Disorder often is seen in very highly intelligent victims (DID)
In the aftermath of my arrest and all that followed, the mental equilibrium I had created to deal with my past is gone.  Today the memories fly at me whenever they choose.  They’re the first thing I see when I wake and the last thing I think about before falling asleep.  I am not in control of anything anymore, not even my own memories.  It’s terrifying. 
Victims who are not helped, often struggle to discern truth from deception and can lie to themselves in powerful ways:  
In my life, I had only ever mentioned the abuse to three friends, and then fleetingly so.  I never spoke to a mental health professional about this or any other matter until I was in the D.C. jail.  I talked with a counselor there about my crime and the horrible hurt I had caused so many people.  I didn’t talk to him about my past.  I didn’t think it mattered because I intended to kill myself as soon as possible.
The self-loathing caught up to him.  He could have been helped.  His high level of honesty and ability to take responsibility would have made treatment successful. 
The session ended and I left to be taken to a cell.  Before I’d gone far, the counselor called me back. He said there was something he couldn’t put his finger on and he wanted to talk some more.  And then he just stopped and looked at me, not saying a word.  He was the first person in my life who I think had figured it out.  And he was the first person I ever spoke to in any detail about those memories. 
the word "left" is highlighted in blue, as the highest level of sensitivity:  it indicates missing information.  He explains exactly what that missing information is, and why we highlight the departing of a place as very sensitive.  
That conversation was the first of many that have already taken place, and many more to come, as I begin the process of trying to sort this out and fix myself.      
I understand that some people – maybe most – will view this as a contrived story designed to find some defense for defenseless behavior.  That it’s an excuse.  In some ways I feel disgusting sharing this truth with you because in my heart I still struggle to see my five-year-old self as a victim.  But I’m sharing this with you because it is the truth, not an excuse.  And I believe it played a role in my story.
His language tells us that it is the truth.  He asserts it.  
To my family, friends and Capitol Hill colleagues:  I’ve had individual conversations with each of you in my mind.  I’ve pictured your face as I admitted to my failure and heard the shock and disappointment in your voice.  I lay awake at night reviewing these conversations over and over again.  They are among the most excruciatingly painful aspects of this terrible, terrible nightmare. 
To those who choose to sever all ties with me, I don’t blame you.  No one wants to think or talk about this subject matter.  All I can say is: I understand and I’m sorry.
To those of you who have offered words of compassion to me and my family: your kindness has been remarkable.  Compassion is harder to accept than condemnation when you feel as disgusting and horrible as I do, but it means a great deal.  I’m more grateful to you than you can possibly imagine. 
And last, to the children in the images:  I should have known better.  I perpetuated your abuse and that will be a burden on my soul for the rest of my life. 
 This is the first time I have ever read of a possessor of child pornography address the victims in the imagery.  It is remarkable. 
Conclusion:

Statement Analysis shows that this man has told the truth about childhood sexual abuse.  His striking honesty meant that had he not committed suicide, there was hope for him.  This is a terribly sad tragedy for all around, including the children in the images that were exploited.  He likely suffered from a Dissociative Disorder.  There is nothing within his language that suggests that he sexually abused children, including large gaps of missing information.  He truthfully reports the imprints that were left upon his brain, though he only goes back to age five, it is likely that he was sexually abused even earlier, interfering with natural brain development.  His strong intellect is evident within his statement (and his life) and his letter is unusually low in minimization.  
It is not surprising that he took his life by hanging, as the self loathing would have driven him to a violent death.  
Why does he not attack his perpetrator?  This may be because he does not know or remember the identity (not likely since he mentions age five) or it could be that he does not wish to further pain his family.  It is the unexpected that he does not go after his victim.  This may be part of the self loathing victims experience. 
His life stands as a warning to parents to be vigilant over their children's safety.  It only takes a momentary lapse to destroy a life.  
Truthful.  

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow.

Anonymous said...

amazing.

sa lurker said...

I would like to comment about how one could come across pornographic material while looking for music.

I don't know what year Jesse Ryan Loskarn was using the said peer-to-peer program. But I am guessing it was a few years ago when they were very common and the law had not caught up on such developments.

I used to use those programs for music and music videos and there would be porn files that would come up with search words I would use. I learnt they were either porn or porn with virus attached to them after seeing that they would come up exactly with the same words (including my spelling mistakes) or they would have some key words that would include most common words, popular song names of the day, popular singers' names so they would always come up. They were some kind of bots, programs to make people download the material.

It is possible to reach some terrible videos or photos like that but I don't know if he came across them like that or he searched for them.

Either way, I wanted to add the information :)

Anonymous said...

There are three things that concern me.

1) He said to the children whose vile kiddie porn he viewed (and apparently enjoyed viewing, and distributed): "I should have known better." He "SHOULD have known better" or he DID know better? There's a vast difference in 'should have' and 'did'. As 'intelligent' as he obviously was, and KNOWING the consequences of his actions, and in view of his own prior molestation; he would have KNOWN better, not he "should have known better." Right there he is not being totally honest and excuses himself by implying that he 'should have' known better.

2) He does not reveal who abused him, was it one person or more than one person, did it begin at age five and end at age nine, with continuous abuse; or did it only occur at ages five and nine? This was not clarified. I would think that it's a little too late to be secretive concerning who molested him since he plans to kill himself anyway. He would have nothing to lose at this point by revealing who molested him, no matter who it was.

BTW, it has been proven statistically, that a five year old DOES recognize and can name their abuser if their name or appearance is known to the child. Children as young as two to three can name their abuser and even correctly identify the clothing the abuser was wearing.

Even more, now that his earlier abuse has surfaced; by him not naming his abuser(s) it disturbs me that this abuser(or abusers) were allowed by him to escape their just prosecution and punishment. IFF he was abused as he says he was; why is he covering up for his abuser(s)? It is wrong to protect an abuser just because it might have been a family member or an otherwise loved and respected person(s). Why would he protect this person (s) by not naming him/them?

EVERY child sex abuser deserves their just punishment; also, other innocent victims need to be warned that this person(s) is a dangerous child-sex abuser. Even if this person(s) might be deceased by this time, they still should be revealed by name publically so that others who were likely to have been abused by him/them might muster up the courage in knowing they weren't the only one and could seek professional help.

I'm aware that you find his statement to be truthful, Peter; yet I am not so sure he has been totally honest and upfront concerning his abuse issues since he does not reveal vital and urgent information concerning his abuses.

It is as if he doesn't care if there were other children abused; he is only thinking of himself and his misery, but not until he got 'caught' and not other abuse victims, or that his abuse perps are not apprehended. To the end he protects his abuser(s). IMO, there is no reason good enough for him to protect a child sex perpetrator.

3) I understand that his mother typed up his suicide letter and presented it to the media or whoever; could she have made up his letter herself, or could she have left out parts of his original letter, or is this exactly the way he wrote his suicide letter; finally, did she modify it? Questions remain as to the validity of the suicide letter.

Maybe we will never know, however, these are questions worth asking. T/Y.

Dani Kekoa said...

HURRY DELETE THIS....NOTICE THE CRIME ALL OVER THE METRO AREA? Watch & Listen to Police Recording FBI Las Vegas Citizens Division Jan 16, 2014: "CHELSEA HOFFMAN" Criminal Fraud = ROBERT ADOLPH ENYART Serial Killer in Arvada, CO (25mins) => http://youtu.be/UJhU0-pNxgs

ChelseaHoffman.com is a CRIMINAL FRAUD. A fake page/ID like 'Calling Mark Redwine' used by a serial child-killer in CO who gets off on targeting victims, framing dysfunctional people and purposely misleading investigations of the crimes committed. There's a violent sexual sadist & home-invading serial pedophile working as a "pro-life pastor" in the Denver area who the cops & FBI refuse to talk to: Call Bob at 1-800-8-ENYART -- ROBERT ADOLPH ENYART = 666 = DAXIS = SON OF SATAN = GUILTY CHILD-KILLER! - DOB 1-10-59 - SSN# 152-60-4382 - FBI# - 678532LA7
For more info visit the websites religious psychopath Bob can't do anything about:
www.BobEnyartMurderedJonBenetRamsey.com
www.PoliceRecordingsKekoas.com

Dani Kekoa said...

The troll is Robert ADOLPH Enyart DOB 1-10-59. He's king troll, been that way for a while. Trolling's been his full time job since "pastor" Bob lost his Denver Bible Church after he was found out as JonBenet Ramsey's killer just over a year ago. Have you noticed all of the news about JonBenet lately? Have you noticed the spike in crime?

Bob Enyart is a con-man fraud in addition to being a TWICE CONVICTED CHILD ABUSER with a lengthy criminal history. Google "Bob Enyart" or "Bob Enyart arrest record." Call Bob at 1-800-8-Enyart and ask him why his SSN 152-60-4382 has over 65,000 hits on a Google search....and why he can't do anything about it. HINT: Enyart is a serial killer, and the police and the FBI have known about Enyart since October 2012, but they won't go and talk to him for some reason. Listen to the proof, HOURS OF RECORDINGS with the cops:

www.PoliceRecordingsKekoas.com

Enyart has an FBI# 678532LA7. Why won't the cops and the FBI go and question the serial killer with the FBI#?

Anonymous said...

Why does he not attack his perpetrator?
imo, it was not his perpetrator that made him feel there was something wrong with what he had done at 5. it was the few childhood friends, it was God, his family, former boss and colleagues, someone that might look at him and know, those were the people in his mind that made him feel shame and blame, not his perp.

charlotte from denmark said...

No sympathy from me.

"Investigators say an IP address traced to Loskarn's residence was the source of a 28-minute pornographic video of a man raping a girl believed to be between 6 and 9 years old."

"A criminal complaint filed U.S. District Court Thursday says Jesse Ryan Loskarn attempted to hide an external hard drive loaded with "hundreds" of child porn videos when police knocked down his door with a battering ram."

"Forensic investigators analyzed the hard drive and found a multi-scene video of a young girl being sexually assaulted and "hundreds of videos depicting underage boys engaged in sexually explicit conduct."

jesse-ryan-loskarn-had-hundreds-of-porn-videos-of-young-boys-girls-police-say

One predator less in the world.

Deejay said...

This made me so sad for Jesse. You can tell instantly that he was a good, but damaged person. I believe that you are right, Peter, he could have been saved.

There is a successful prison rehab near me where they counsel the released people to first own up to their crimes and addictions, don't gloss over them. Jesse had that part down already, you can tell by his lack of excuses. I was never abused, so I don't know this for sure- but I bet he looked at the abuse images he downloaded from the child's perspective, looking at the child's face for the child's reaction, identifying with the child (rather than the perp.)

I believe that men (and teens)can easily become 'fixated' on elements of their first sexual experiences- which is why deviant images are so dangerous to young men. My teenage son, an avid reader, asked me about reading 'Fifty Shades' book. I explained the bondage topic, and then told him that books like that might be dangerous to him. Not for what they said, but for the images that he could get stuck in his developing mind. What if that book's topic colored his sexual brain forever? I was relieved that he chose not to read it.

Condolences to Jesse and his family. He probably could have become a great counselor for others, given a few years.

Talk to your children, give them words for body parts, ask questions, and explain bad touching. Tell them that they can talk to you or a school counselor or other adult if they are ever abused. Tell them you will protect them no matter what threats might have been made. I also believe that boys even very young, know that male-on-male abuse is more shameful. (Read the accounts of the 10 year old victims of Sandusky- despite being prepubescent they were ashamed and uncomfortable.) Open communication is the best gift you can give a child to combat this horror.

Deejay said...

If Charlotte is right and he abused any child himself- my sympathy just left!!!

Anonymous said...

could have been saved?? statistics show they WILL re-offend, period. there is no saving them.

i agree he did DJ, identifying with the child (rather than the perp. with that connection, he wanted to relive that emotion.

an old man at the park watching children play, has a recollection of when he was young and playing. with that connection he wants to be as one with that child to relive that moment.
if someone were to stop and chat, and he could talk about his childhood on an adult level, it may prevent him from sexually abusing.
but a large stick whacked over his head will also stop him.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad it's dead.My only prayer is that he suffered a slow long painfull death.I hope it's now in HELL .My only sympathies are for the victims.

Sus said...

"I perpetrated your abuse..."

Jesse took full responsibility in this statement. He shows empathy toward his victims. He could have been rehabilitated by working with a psychiatrist and dealing with his childhood abuse. Unfortunately shame is a powerful force.

Anonymous said...

Peter, this entry displays an enormous compassion on your part
for this victim-yet-perpetrator dynamic, and I am frankly proud of you.

Abuse is a cycle. The results are devastating to the victims, who become perpetrators, or self-destructive promiscuous individuals.

My cousin was abused by her male babysitter who said he would die or at least get sick if she didn't treat you-know-what like an ice you know realize what ice cream cone that was melting. I was so freaking ignorant at age 10 or whatever that I had no concept of reporting this to parents or authorities.

She said not long ago that this person was a member of her church and still babysitting children. But she didn't want to make waves.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for incoherence. I meant "If she didn't treat you-know-what like an ice cream cone, as she was prompted by him, that his "ice cream cone" was melting and she was the cause. Out of fear of him dying she complied. She was about 9.

Peter Hyatt said...

This was the first time I had ever read of someone acknowledging that the children in the porn WERE victims.

Anonymous, as to "enjoying" the abuse, you do not understand. You could not be any further from the truth than you are.

When a child is molested, if the child feels pleasurable sensations, the damage to the child can be even worse. This is a hideous act but now the pleasurable feelings give the child even MORE confusion and conflicting thought. It interferes with normal brain development.

This guy gave himself the ultimate punishment.

I would delete your comment but the ignorance is actually worth addressing and perhaps people can learn from it.

It is from comments like yours that keeps rape victims from coming forward, just as it keeps adult victims from childhood sexual abuse from getting help.

This guy hated what he was, what his brain was attached to. He could have gotten help and maybe voluntarily stayed away from children, for example.

Yes, victims do sometimes become the abusers, but many victims do not, and become overcomes.

I believe that even the executioner should do his work with a heavy heart.

The old adage, "but for the Grace of God, there goes I" understood: If I had been molested, and if I had been raised this way, I could have become..."

It is not a call to end justice.

It is to mingle justice, mercy and understanding.

Peter

Peter Hyatt said...


BTW, it has been proven statistically, that a five year old DOES recognize and can name their abuser if their name or appearance is known to the child. Children as young as two to three can name their abuser and even correctly identify the clothing the abuser was wearing.
from Anonymous.

If I had posted such nonsense, I would remain anonymous as well.

Children who are victims of sexual abuse sometimes have delayed speech that is because of acute anxiety.

The part of the brain that understands boundaries: where my body ends and another begins, for example, does NOT develop.

When you were a tiny child, you ran around naked, without a care, but then, at a certain age, you did care and you covered up. Abused children do not have that same "realization" as you and I did, or they have it later.

They grow up thinking their bodies belong to anyone who wants to use them.

I said he was truthful and had less minimization than I had ever seen. This is true.

If you only knew the cause and effect....

If people only knew what a momentary lapse of vigilance can do to a child, and to everyone who loves that child, including future spouse and children...

the damage goes on and on and on and on.

I have interviewed hundreds of children. Some as young as three have identified the abuser. Some as old as five could not speak...or would not speak.

I have never seen any such statistic as you quote.

This guy is dead. He sentenced himself to death and he carried out the sentence.

Its enough.

Peter Hyatt said...

If you read RA Dickey's book, using Statement Analysis, you will see missing info and lots and lots of minimization.

He is telling the truth about the childhood sexual abuse, but downplays how much he and his wife have suffered.

Its an inspiring book, just the same.

Maine commenter said...

I love your defense, Peter !

Theresa said...

This was heartbreaking to read. What a broken man, all because another person destroyed him before he could ever even stand up for himself.

He certainly had free will in his decisions, but the circumstances of his childhood, that led him to make the choices he did, weren't his fault. His explanation of why he was looking at these images makes sense.

Theresa said...

"This guy is dead. He sentenced himself to death and he carried out the sentence.

Its enough."

Yes. Continuing to berate him for his actions is pointless. It's rare to see someone take responsibility to this extent. It is probably pretty hard to own up knowing that no matter the penalty paid, redemption will never be possible.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Mr. Hyatt, for your compassion & understanding. This story is very sad for all involved. I appreciate your calling out & correcting the cruel comments.

God bless you & yours.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad it's life ended in horror .

charlotte from denmark said...

I have learned something new today.

If the criminal have experienced abuse in his childhood AND is genuinly sorry for the crimes he comitted as an adult (or sorry for that he get caught), then the public is supposed to feel sorry for him and minimize his actions.

However, if the criminal has been abused as a child, but DO NOT express sadness for whatever criminal act he/she does as an adult (Susan Smith, Casey Anthony, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson,), then we can condemn him/her.

I believe that every adult is responsible for their own actions.

It may be true that Jesse Loskarn was sorry for the children getting raped, but why did this compassion only come in to play when he was caught? He watched six year olds getting raped, for crying out loud!

It's disgusting to try to make him a victim here! Yes, the man is dead, and for that I am greatful.

I am among the few who felt compassion for the two boys in England, who killed poor, little James Bulger. Their lives had been hell, and they had never knew love. They were also ten years old, and children themselves.

Now that one of them has comitted another crime involving children, I say throw away the key.

Adults are adults and children are children.


Anonymous said...

What you really learned Charlotte, is that "they" are never wrong. It is only THEIR opinions that matter to them and not any others who might have some small doubt or raise some 'stupid' question that might seek an answer that conflicts with what they think. Anyone who has an opposing viewpoint or dares to raise a 'dumb' question that is not in conformity to their own is made a fool out of.

However, I don't see any compassion here for the pathetic children who were being raped, whose videos this pedophile enjoyed viewing and distributing to other pedophiles over a period of several years that we know of; by a grown affluent man who was fully in control of his faculties.

They actually feel sorry for this pedo sicko who claims after he finally got caught "I should have known better," when he was no idiot and KNEW better. They call that 'taking full 'responsibility.' Yeah right. He should have known that he might get caught. He knew exactly what he was doing and would have kept doing it had he not gotten caught, but they claim he took full responsibility? Uh, excuse me? Their sympathies lie with HIM, not the pitiful children being raped in the videos that he so enjoyed viewing. And that's what's pathetic. As for him, he killed himself so that's enough.

If the truth were known, he probably killed himself before it could be revealed that he had been raping and video taping child porn himself; this is probably also the reason he did not reveal the name of the perpetrator who had raped him as a child, knowing that if he did speak out this perp would also reveal his own rapes and videotaping of children being raped.

Yet they trust and pity a guilty pedophile child porn/rapist distributor who decided to kill himself rather than face the music; knowing all along that all pedophiles and child porn distributors are disgusting filthy lying sex offenders who cannot be trusted or cured.

Am I glad he killed himself? The guilty pedophile cowards' quick way out? Hell no. I'd have liked to see his sorry ass in prison paying for his crimes against innocent children like he deserved to do, and I'd have liked to know what other crimes this filthy pedophile perpetrated against helpless children and who else was involved.

I hope the investigators involved do not drop this investigation just because he's dead, as I think there's more horrendous child abuse this sicko pedophile was involved in whose tentacles could reach far and wide, that has not yet been revealed. Pity him? I pity two things; 1) that he was raped as a child; and, 2) I pity his eternal damnation that may be awaiting him on the other side.

Peter Hyatt said...

charlotte from denmark said...
I have learned something new today.

If the criminal have experienced abuse in his childhood AND is genuinly sorry for the crimes he comitted as an adult (or sorry for that he get caught), then the public is supposed to feel sorry for him and minimize his actions.

However, if the criminal has been abused as a child, but DO NOT express sadness for whatever criminal act he/she does as an adult (Susan Smith, Casey Anthony, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson,), then we can condemn him/her.

I believe that every adult is responsible for their own actions.

It may be true that Jesse Loskarn was sorry for the children getting raped, but why did this compassion only come in to play when he was caught? He watched six year olds getting raped, for crying out loud!

It's disgusting to try to make him a victim here! Yes, the man is dead, and for that I am greatful.

I am among the few who felt compassion for the two boys in England, who killed poor, little James Bulger. Their lives had been hell, and they had never knew love. They were also ten years old, and children themselves.

Now that one of them has comitted another crime involving children, I say throw away the key.

Adults are adults and children are children.



Charlotte, comments swing the spectrum.

I believe that child molestation should be punished with severity, including the death penalty in some cases.

I also believe that this man's life and death are a great warning to parents, regarding cause and effect.

I think justice should be carried out with a heavy heart, but it should still be carried out.

I was taken back by the level of honesty in his letter.

I have interviewed pedophiles and the minimization is always great.

Here, it was not large, but minor.

I don't recall any pedophile ever recognizing that the children in the imagery were victims.

My hope is that parents would feel very afraid of not watching their children. Monsters come in all forms.

Peter

Sus said...

I am shocked by the either-or, win-lose, right-wrong, you-me attitude in the world today. It's evident on this and other blogs.

Because I can see one side, does not preclude me seeing another.

Jesse's words show a rare insight to his pornography addiction. He took responsibility for such. He did not blame his childhood circumstances. He simply told about his abuse truthfully. As a matter of fact, he did not name his abuser(s) and took on the shame himself.

Jesse also apologized to his victims. He had empathy for them. It is so rare for a pornography-watcher to understand he perpetuates the abuse by making the needed audience.

Now for the either-or...If Jesse had not given himself the ultimate punishment, he would and should have paid the legal price. He should have served prison time, hopefully with psychiatric help. He should have spent his life on the sexual predator list. A heavy price indeed for being a victim of a abuse at five years old.

I have compassion for the children Jesse victimized. I also see Jesse was a victim. It is not an either-or. I had several victims of sexual abuse in my class throughout the years. I also had some sexual predators. Yes, they were often one and the same...victim turned predator.

Last, there are groups working for the victims of pornography and prostitution. I don't have statistics at hand, but a majority in those two trades left abusive situations and were coerced into it. Put your time and money where your mouth is.

Anonymous said...

Suicide is the easy way out for this guy.
I also don't get why it is so en vogue these days for people to think that if someone is abused as a child they will grow up to abuse people. This is a commonly held belief, but I truly don't understand it.
I was physically and mentally abused as a kid. One of my parents was a "bad temper" abuser who would flip the heck out and physically assault me as a kid. My other parent was a sadistic abuser who would secretly inflict sometimes severe injury on me and smile or laugh when they saw me in pain and then try to get attention for it.
If anything, the treatment I received made me say to myself "I will act the opposite of these f*cking cowards." It made me hate abuse.
People know right from wrong. They have a choice. Even most very evil people know that what they are doing is wrong, but they do it anyway.
What it boils down to is, if badness can be explained away by saying, well, if A happened to this person that is why they do the evil things they do, then how do you explain goodness in a person. Can it be explained away similarly that they had a wonderful childhood and that's why they are "good" adults? No, it can't. Some people are good people in spite of horrible experiences. How do you explain that? You can't. The same way you can't explain why someone does evil things or becomes an evil person.
This is just my opinion.

La-de-la said...

This guy's language also leads me to believe that he might have been 'programmed.'

Anonymous said...

Peter is a balanced, fair-minded man who understands that most things in this life are not as cut and dried as you sadistic haters believe them to be.

There are a lot of spiritually sick people in this world. Several of them comment on this blog. Hatred is poison. It will rot your soul and twist your mind. Just because the object of your hatred has done something we find unacceptable does not justify the wrong you are doing by hating. You are creating the very thing you hate by your hatred. How about the parents of abused children who weren't paying attention and sometimes even participating or covering for the abuser? Why aren't they held accountable by your hateful standards? I'd say because you ARE them. You make excuses and shift the blame elsewhere. You cry and whine about the poor little children never realizing that the cycle of abuse begins with what you do, hate!

Beware - What you wish on others is what you wish for yourself.

SAH said...

My heart goes out to this man and I hope he is in a better place.

Obviously the letter is honest. You don't write out a pack of lies before leaving the earth forever.

My guess is that omitting the perpetrator's name was a spiritual and philosophical decision. I think the man did not want to cause any more harm at the end of his life.

The whole thing is unbearably tragic and there is no good in it anywhere at all--no good whatsoever--except, perhaps, for that one gracious choice.

Anonymous said...

if it would make society feel better about themselves, i will martyr myself.

Anonymous said...

Statistics actually indicate 20% of child porn offenders also commit hands on molests. These people are typically pedophiles, often preditory, who are primarily or only sexually attracted to children. They are relatively easy to spot, they typically justify the behavior rather than suffer guilt.
Statistics actually indicate the majority of child molesters do not reoffend, however the risk varys greatly between differant types of offenders (preditory pedophile vs. opportunistic offense against an adolscent).
All this is an absolutely seperate issue from the damage caused by these horrible acts.

Anon "I" said...

I am grateful that I am not the judge of this man. Only God knows what damage he endured, exactly what actions he took, or what his true state of mind was when he committed suicide. Perfection of justice and mercy are way above my pay grade and I am grateful for a God who can see the whole picture and judge justly.

Anon "I"

Anonymous said...

Go on a peer-to-peer and search for anything, you'll find porn in the results. Search for as harmless and non-sexual an album or movie as you can think of, there'll still be porn. I don't know why this is, but it is.

Peter Hyatt said...

Anonymous,

I have done so and not found porn to show up.

The ads that pop up are for items I have searched upon previously (clothing, for example).

Also, in the years of internet use, I have never seen a link, nor an ad, nor anything that would be child porn.

This was a claim that Pete Townsend had made, which later was changed to: "researching" and eventually feigning to do undercover work for Scotland Yard.

Peter

Peter Hyatt said...

SAH said...
My heart goes out to this man and I hope he is in a better place.

Obviously the letter is honest. You don't write out a pack of lies before leaving the earth forever.

My guess is that omitting the perpetrator's name was a spiritual and philosophical decision. I think the man did not want to cause any more harm at the end of his life.

The whole thing is unbearably tragic and there is no good in it anywhere at all--no good whatsoever--except, perhaps, for that one gracious choice.
>>


Interesting post. I would have agreed with your theory about writing truthfulness before you die but I have found that liars continue to lie.

I did analysis on the letter based upon the SCAN technique. This means that the principles applied were no different than on any other statement.

We discount such things as what you wrote above, which sounds like common sense and before learning SCAN, I would have readily agreed.

I thank you for your post; it was interesting to read.

Prepare yourself for John Ramsey writing some memoirs before he dies!