Friday, October 12, 2012

Susan Murphy Milano Update

Holding Her Hand Towards Heaven

On Monday, October 1, Susan made the decision to suspend her treatment and let nature take its course with the cancer.

I knew that once her decision was made there was no turning back this time, and although angry at first, I accept and honor her decision as I know her friends and followers will as well.  Susan  tried to write this post herself, but her energy levels are declining and I hope that I can honorably speak for her.

Anyone who has been around cancer knows the toll it takes on the body, mind, and spirit. Susan tried hard, often rallying and giving us all hope that she would stay in the fight, but the abusive cancer attacked her too strongly, and she felt that there was no more hope that she could diffuse the outcome.

She is quickly declining without the daily care of Dr. Akoury and the treatments she was getting and it's obvious now just how well the treatments were working, and how without them she is falling prey to the disease.

Susan has a wonderful team of Hospice caretakers who come in to help her, along with Dr. Akoury and myself, we've welcomed the visits of her closest friends. Through the tears and anguish we all realize that she has made peace within herself and accepted the outcome, but ask ourselves can we find that peace as well?

The only thing missing is Susan's family.

I have to speak to Susan's son and her sister: Although you've made very angry and ugly remarks to her publicly and privately, she always has a deep love for you. The same blood that runs through your body runs through hers and you can never change that fact. There comes a time when forgiveness must take place and for whatever wrongs you feel she has done to you, I assure you they are nothing in comparison to the pain she's experiencing knowing she will never be able to touch you, hug you, or hear your voices again.

I may not be able to change your hearts or your minds, but my wish is that you find a way to soften your bitterness and contact her before it's too late. If you would like to do that, please leave a comment here and I'll make it happen. I know you read the blogs often. Please reach out to her, no mother should have to die thinking her only child hates her.

She leaves you only a legacy of hope. Hope that you will grow into the man she envisioned, strong yet compassionate, not angry and bitter, with the capacity to love as she has loved you. Her new book, Holding My Hand Through Hell was written with you in mind, so that you would know the truth from her perspective, and that you would see what made your mother who she is and why she did the things she did.

I will hold her hand until she enters heaven because God placed that responsibility on me, at great cost to my own family and the families of her friends. This experience is one I never, ever thought I would have to do, not prepared for, nor do I want to, and I only hope I have the courage to carry through.

Susan wants everyone to know how much she appreciates the cards, letters, gifts and donations that will help defray the costs of both her medical bills already incurred and her end of life expenses, and especially the LOVE that has poured all over her from you.

Her wish is that donations will continue so that those who helped her will be paid what they are owed. She also hopes that everyone will do all they can to make Holding My Hand Through Hell a huge success, so the world will know that although life can be hell, with the hand of God we can all make it a better place for somebody.

We don't know the day or the hour that Susan will be taken from us, but she's comfortably waiting in the arms of angels who I'm sure will hold her hand as she enters heaven.



Anonymous said...

I do hope her son and sister come to terms with their differances and give Susan their love. When it is too late they will be sorry and won't be able to change it.

Jeffssis said...

Being nearby sharing the end of a loved one's life is an experience I do not regret. So much can be expressed in both words and actions. It takes great courage to accept the inevitable and face the unknown. I hope for a smooth passage for Susan and I hope for at least a brief warming of the relationships that are missing in her life. Forgiveness is the key to healing.

VLW said...

I'm stunned. I only recently heard about Susan's cancer and had no idea it was so far advanced. This is sad news indeed. I will be praying for her.

BostonLady said...

Very sad. Prayers for Susan, her friends holding her hand, and her distanced family. I hope the family can find it in their hearts to forgive each other so Susan can pass on in peace.

Anonymous said...

"When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines upon you." Jon Krakouer, Into the Wild.

To Susan Murphy"s son : There's nothing like a mother's love. Remember, you only have one. As humans we make mistakes. And, as humans, we forgive mistakes. Let go of the anger and go comfort your mom. To Ms. Susan's sister , let go and let God. Go in peace and hold your sister's hand during her final journey. Your hearts will feel lighter and free.

God Bless-God Speed

Anonymous said...

her son sounds like a world class douche

Anonymous said...

This is so sad, reading it brought tears to my eyes.

Delillah, you are a lovely person for being there, for loving and holding Susan's hand to the end, and now searching for her son and sister to come to her before it's too late. Susan obviously loves them deeply and I just pray their hearts will turn towards her now before it's too late.

The sad thing is that they will pay dearly in time to come for not coming to her in her dying moments while she pleads for them. I am so sorry, first for Susan's merciless illness and impending death, and secondly for the sorrows that await her son and sister for turning their backs on her in her death, letting their bitterness prevent them. They will regret this many times over when their own need comes upon them. I am sure this is not what Susan wants for them but it is not we who are in control of those things that await us in our own lives yet to come. We can only do that which is right and wait for God's tender mercies.

Son, sister, this is your dying mother, sister; open your hearts and run to her, filled with forgiveness, tenderness and love. She has but a short time left while she waits for you, and longs to hold you close if for but a moment. God himself will reward you for it. Drop the shackles of the past. Think. If you can't do this now, you will have years ahead to suffer silently while you are haunted for it many times over, and may find yourselves alone one day with no ones hand to hold. This is not what Susan wants for you and this is not what you want for yourselves. Go now, and God bless you and be with you.

Susan, Delillah, I do not know you but would have loved too. My heart is sad for you Susan, yet you will soon leave this earth to be with our Father whose open arms await you, and there is great joy in that glorious homecoming. Just reach out your hand and heart to Him and look forward Susan, look forward. Delillah, you are a special woman, full of grace and understanding. God bless and keep you always in His care. With Love, from a friend who understands.

Anonymous said...

Well that is sad.. Who is Delilah? her sister? Why does her son not speak to her? He better do it before she dies he will regret it whoever he is, that I hear many people express regret about such things. Good luck to this woman and I do believe in heaven. Of course she'll be there soon and lived a good life

Tania Cadogan said...

This is always the worst time for family and friends, knowing what is to come but not when.
The fear of the unknown, the worry their loved one is in pain and being unable to take it fom them.
The sadness of a life lost rather than the happiness of a life lived.
The memories of words spoken in anger when not meant, questions of what if's rather than answers of what was.

Susan has touched the lives of many, those who know her in real life and those who know her through her shows and books.
We who have been touched by her have found our lives changed for the better, we are more understanding, more steadfast, kinder and protective of those around us.
As she walks away from this life and us, her footprints will remain in our hearts and minds, she will walk out of our sight not out of our minds.

No matter what was said in the past, for whatever reason now is the time to come togeather and make peace, for once Susan is gone words unsaid will remain unsaid, instead of the bloom of happy memories and love instead will grow the weed of guilt.

It is always hard to say I'm sorry even if it were not one's fault, these two words can and do make a world of difference when sincerely meant.
It clears the air and heals all wounds.
Take the time to see your mother, your sister, time is in short supply you see for Susan, let her take her final sleep knowing all is forgiven and that she is loved unconditionally for tommorow may be too late.
A simple heartfelt kindness today will spare years of guilt later, all too often i have heard family and friends cry why didn't i say sorry? why didn't i tell them i loved them?
make your peace with Susan, treasure these last few moments with her, these are what you will remember in the years to come. Make them good memories not bad ones.

Thank you Susan for all you have done in your too short life, i hope that as your time draws near, it is peaceful and painfree, that you take your final step from this mortal coil gladly, knowing you did the best you could to your utmost ability, holding your head up high.
You have made us all proud Susan.

Delilah, thankyou for being with her as she takes her final walk.
When the time comes, talk to her even if you think she hears nothing, tell her it is ok to go, to take her final step. You will be right there with her till the end, that she will not be alone, that she is surrounded by love from all who knew her.

Anonymous said...

Delilah; read to Susan:

Psalms 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;

for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil;

my cup runneth over.

Surely goodnes and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house
of the Lord forever.

As taken from The King James Version.

You will see the hope in her eyes, hear the soft gentle sigh of her breath. Read it to her again. God bless you Delilah.

With Love from a friend who understands.

Anonymous said...

And this Delilah. He taught us to pray when we did not know how:

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father which art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.


As taken from the King James Version.

He alone knows the meaning of every thought and word, and that's good enough. There is strength and wisdom in His words. We do not have to understand every little thing. Just pray it for Susan as he told us to do. God bless you.

With Love from a friend who understands.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Susan is an incredible woman.
She truly understands domestic violence, it's astonishing.
Susan's idea for video affidavits is revolutionary tool as much as it is common sense, & something that any person who becomes a victim of violence automatically thinks of to do, which can only happen through education, word of mouth, & constant repetition. So many women could help bring their abusers to justice, particularly postmortem if they end up murdered, too...Susan Powell comes to mind. It might've saved her boys from two states dragging their feet to act on their behalf, & ultimately saved them from their killer, their father.
I wish Susan peace in her final days.
It would be a blessing if her family were to turn themselves around in her final days, but even if they do not, I'm sure upon her passing they will regret their decision & eventually turn themselves around.
Particularly her son.
Her sister, well, she should know better.
But that's how sisters are sometimes; I know, I have an estranged sister but cannot for the life of me figure out what led to the estrangement - it certainly wasn't something borne of drama, & certainly has been 1-sided. Perhaps that's Susan's predicament too, I don't know.

God Bless Susan, & know that I'll be one of many praying for her.
Thank you for all you've done for the betterment of mankind.
You're a true friend of humanity.
Peace, Susan, peace.

Sus said...

Thank you for your life's work with domestic abuse. You have made a difference here on earth. You are in my prayers.

MaryK said...

Does anyone know what stage 4 cancer she has?

Anonymous said...

People grieve in different ways. Her family may be doing that now. Have compassion for them even if they don't grieve the way you think they should.

I'm sorry to hear that Susan is dying but I respect her decision to end her life the way she wants. Thank you for your contributions to the world. You've touched the lives of many who will remember you long after you're gone.

May your final exit be peaceful.

Anonymous said...

I am her son. You can't care about someone who as never cared about u so with that being said. Good riddance and if you have a problem with that do that really sucks.

Anonymous said...

The son sounds very angry and didn't want to speak with his bio mom, his choice and I respect it. We don't know what was done to this young man so let's not judge him. I believe Susan pull the wool over many eyes as she was going thru life. I don't want to talk ill of the dead but she was not an honest person. As I told her once KARMA will get you and it did. She destroyed what I once had as I'm sure she done many time to other people.