Saturday, March 29, 2014

Final Thoughts: Missing Person Leann Bearden

I continue to see that there are a small pocket of internet readers that want "justice" for Leann Bearden, who was a suicide victim.

As owner of the blog, I have instructed that all such comments be removed, and have initiated the moderation of the comments section on the old articles.  She was a missing person, and now found, her family is left suffering from their loss.

Leann was not a homicide victim.

There were no linguistic indicators of deception to justify accusing Leann's husband of murder.  Besides this, police have found no reason as well to think anything but suicide.  In hindsight,  I think police should have guided the family into revealing that Leann was suicidal, and this would have explained the distancing language, and perhaps would have lessened suspicion, though I cannot help but wonder if it would have not dissuaded some from their suspicions.

Leann was reported to have hung herself.

This is a violent way to die.

How much suffering may this family have experienced before her death?

This suggests that her depression, or even self loathing, was deep.  It also may indicate that her husband has long known about it and likely dealt with the suicidal ideation for a long time.

Those who live with victims who commit suicide often speak of living life on the edge, as the victim may have long expressed, or even threatened suicide, leaving her loved ones with the terrible agony of not only losing her, but also of a terrible pain of...


Families of suicide victims can be left with this terribly conflicting emotion.  They may have gone weeks, months, or even years of fear of suicide.  This may include:

middle of the night phone calls;

suicide attempts of varying degrees of severity

countering threats of suicide by altering not only their life styles, but even the words they choose to use.  This means that the loved ones have learned to adapt, down to a single word, their language, just to not set off the suicidal verbalization.

It is unbearable for the loved ones.

They have the same high level of hormones that any person in an emergency experiences, but sometimes it is repeated, over and over, and the natural consequence (PTSD) that comes from the brain protecting itself is a form of 'shut down' or distancing.

They rushed out to the ER in the middle of the night and it was very difficult.

Then they did it again.

And again...

and again.

They can even become embittered towards the victim and the suicde actually ends the constant state of emergency.  As they catch their breath, they feel guilty for a sense of relief that there will no longer be middle of the night phone calls, waking them up with the frightful news that the loved one is en route to the hospital.

Even as relief sets in, so does the guilt.

Not only do they have the "what if" guilt of what they could have done differently, but they feel guilt for having the nightmare of constant emergencies or threats come to an end.

If they get past this pain, they then are now finally confronted with:


They no longer have the loved one.

They miss the good times.

Suicide is bad for everyone.

In our modern era, it may be just this much rougher on a family member to have to see in the news baseless speculation.


It has to hurt and add needless pain.  There is no reason to call for justice for Leann.  None of us knows how terribly her husband and her loved ones suffered, just as we do not know how badly Leann suffered enough to bring her to the point of hopelessness.

Sometimes it feels like medical science still knows so little about depression.

God comfort those who loved Leann Bearden.


Anonymous said...

911 OPERATOR: Fairfield 911. Where is your emergency?

CARTER: My name is John Carter. I`m calling -- I know that you`re not supposed to report a missing person after -- before 24 hours, but my fiancee is missing. I can`t find her anywhere.

911 OPERATOR: OK, where did you see her last?

CARTER: I saw her at, like, 12:00 o`clock last night. She stays in a house by herself, so she -- I`m just -- I`m really nervous. Her car is still there.

911 OPERATOR: OK, where at?

CARTER: Her purse is still...

911 OPERATOR: Is there an address, like...

CARTER: Yes, Dorshire (ph) Drive. Dorshire, yes.


CARTER: Woke up after a horrible dream. She wasn`t dead in the dream or anything like that, but I just -- you know, it was just a really bad dream. I didn`t want to have it. I don`t want to -- I go to sleep -- I take solace in sleep because I don`t have to think. But then I wake up. And that`s the worst part, is waking up.


GRACE: We are live and taking your calls, and joining us to talk about the disappearance of his fiancee, a bride set to walk down the aisle, an art student set to graduate, is her fiance, John Carter.

John, tell me about the dream you were referring to.

CARTER: Her engagement ring?

GRACE: Dream. Dream.

Anonymous said...

"She's a budgeter, she could have stretched this money out. She could have stretched this out," he said. "I hope that she's just taking a time-out or playing survivor-woman or something like that. That's actually what keeps me going."

Anonymous said...

"The hardest part of all of this, besides not sleeping, has been keeping my hope," Bearden said. "The second I lose my hope, Leanne is gone, and my biggest fear is I will lose my hope."
He has one plea for his missing wife.
"If somebody has you just hang in there," he said. "We're going to keep looking for you. We're never ever going to stop looking for you."

Anonymous said...

OT Anyone care to analyze Relisha's mom's statements in this video?

Red Ryder said...

Well said, Peter. May God comfort all those who have lost a loved one to suicide and strengthen those who live with a person who is suicidal.

Anonymous said...

she could have stretched…
She could have stretched…
"If somebody has you just hang in there," he said.

Was Leanne found hanging by a stretchy bungee cord? He had a premonition?

VioletBaby said...

Something still doesn't sit right with this whole case for me. I'm not implying it is anything other than what it was determined to be. But just an unsettled uneasy feeling. Now if I feel that way and I did not know Leann, I can't imagine how hard it must be for her loved ones. What a terrible tragedy!