Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Elaine Redwine: Portrait of Courage

An abuser in domestic violence is not frequently violent.

It is the threat of violence that causes the family to 'walk on eggshells' and 'mind' the abuser, keeping from him anything that might set him off.

Elaine Redwine lived it for too long.

For her it was not simply the courage to face off against Mark Redwine, the narcissistic, abusive ex husband and father of missing 13 year old, Dylan, but it was that she did it for Dylan.

She did not do the Dr. Phil Show for her own mental health, or for her own closure:  she did it with singleminded courage:  her purpose was to learn where Dylan is to be found.

What does she face from Mark Redwine?

She faces having her life undraped before the nation, including the humiliation of having chapters in her life published that no one wishes to be published.

She faces having her life undraped, not only in the embarrassing moments, but in moments that never existed:  lies from the wicked imagination of Mark Redwine.

But note how little she cares:  he could slay her, but only give her Dylan!

Mark Redwine's ultimate infliction of pain upon Elaine came through the apple of her eye:  her baby boy.
After taking Dylan from her, he cannot hurt her ever again.

In Dylan's name, Elaine has become fearless.

We join in Elaine's fight for Dylan.  We pray, and we fight.  The sword and the trowel, the fight and the labor.

To Mark Redwine:

Where is Dylan?

Where is Dylan?

Where is Dylan?

We will not stop asking until we get the answer.


Sarah said...

I live in Melboune Australia and have been following Dylan's story from the beginning. I don't normally watch Dr Phil but did to see Elaine. The anguish i saw in her was heartwrenching as a mother. I have a 13 year old boy and two 14 year olds. I hug them a little bit tighter every night because of Dylan. I light a candle every night for Dylan and will until he returns to his family and friends. I choose hope. Elaine, Cory, family and friends, i wish there was something i could do to bring him home. Dylan has touched people around the world. I will continue to think of Dylan and pray (in my own way). My strength i send to Elaine.

Trigger said...

I agree that Elaine has courage to face Mark's wrath again in a effort to find Dylan.

Mark's sick focus on Elaine will not absolve him of Dylan's demise. It only provides proof of Mark's guilt.

SALurker said...

Unfortunately I wasn't able to tune into the show. But I bet you anything MR was listening.

Mainah said...

Mark Redwine: Where is Dylan?

Lemon said...

Mark Redwine, what did you do to Dylan?

BostonLady said...

I'm very sorry I missed the show. 7pm is difficult for me to make due to my work schedule. I did better with the Sunday afternoon time but I understand things have changed. I don't have to like it but I do understand :) .

I'll have to listen to the show later. I'm sure it was great!

Jen said...

Help! I missed the broadcast at 7...where can I find it or do I have to wait?

Lemon said...


Jen said...

Thank you Lemon! Dog gone family needing dinner...messed up my whole schedule, lol!

Layla said...

Good post Peter!

Elaine we are with you in the fight for Dylan!

I admire your courage a great deal. My prayers are with you.

john said...

What is it that's niggling me about E/R.? Can anyone throw some light on it.
I don't mean she is involved or responsible for whats happened.Iv'e just got an itch(metaphoricaly speaking)Something is out of place..

Anonymous said...

18:47 Dr Phil and MR in a private room after 1st show ended.


Part 2
Elaine on BTR said the 2nd day she and MR were not on the stage together. When she was asked by P.H. did you make or attempt to maintain Eye contact with MR while on stage. She said she never took her eyes off him. He would not look her in the eye. She said the 2nd show, they were not together, MR was not on stage.

@19:47 key into MR's body language
His eyes and he takes his finger to his neck, collar, he was contemplating Dr.Phil's statements or his offer?

Continue to watch, he names Cory as his aggressor, that he feels attacked. @21:15 Dr Phil, if you are not involved in this, there is something wrong with you.

MR: I just feel like I am being attacked, (micro-expression)

DPH: interrupts * BUT you were not attacked by me

MR: NO you weren't (sic) you weren't attacked by me

MR, replies to Dr.Phil no YOU weren't attacked BY ME

Not, No Dr.Phil you weren't attacking me.

Kaaryn G said in MR's statements, he leaks the truth.

Pak31 said...

@John, Can you be more specific about that itch? I listened to the broadcast and I heard a mother who is in a great deal of pain. The only 2 things that stood out to me was the question about football. She said Dylan had no interest because he didn't want to get hit, but then she had to admit he tried out for the football team after the subject of the late registration came up. The other issue was in regard to the PI. I thought I read that she did hire the same PI as Mark but on tonight's show she said she didn't. THese could be innocent contradictions. Was there something specific you felt? I really do see a woman who is deeply hurting.

equinox said...

John, you can go back to the recording and find the statements from ER that make you uncomfortable and share them with us and we can help you find the sensitivity you were feeling. In fact, relistening you will likely find your reasons yourself.

nymima said...

My heart is heavy for Elaine. To use a beloved child as a weapon against the loving parent is the worst thing a hateful parent can do. It is the most hopeless position to ever be in. This abuser will never give in. He needs to be in control over her. I hope LE won't give up. He needs to be brought to his knees. And Elaine needs to find out what happened to Dylan.

Anonymous said...

John, Eyes for Lies sees it too if you read that blog. I don't see it. I don't get what makes her and you feel that way.

Jen said...

I feel so sad after listening to Elaine on the webcast. Hearing her speak through tears about how she wants hope for Dylan touched my heart. Bless her heart, it must be so hard to listen to and read about what her ex's language reveals..every word must crush her soul.

When Elaine said that she feels so lonely without Dylan, it made me cry. Elaine took steps to give herself and her boys a better life and Mark refused to accept that. Mark is the problem Elaine left behind, and he can't stand that she isn't under his control anymore. I find Mark Redwine so despicable- he's a pathetic, cowardly, stain on all of humanity. He is not a man, not a father, not a husband...he is NOTHING. No wonder Dylan didn't want to be around him.

It's so sad that an almost 14 year old can't decide whether they want to spend time with their degenerate, alcoholic father. Dylan was forced into the lions den by a flawed system, which favors abusers who learn early on (from experience) how to work the system. I am sad and discouraged tonight. There is so much injustice in this sad situation and others like it. We must find a way to change our court system so this can be prevented in the future.

Ney said...

Jen, I agree, and we should find a legal way to make the obvious guilty to speak.

Skeptical said...

I heard Elaine say that Dr. Phil described himself as a forensic psychiatrist - that that was what he did in Texas. Not true. He had a company that attorneys hired to select juries. That's how Oprah met him. He made a lot of money with equal parts psychology, common sense and flim flam. At times he can be quite good and other times he comes across as the P.T. Barnum of the mental health profession.

No Longer Anonymous said...

Peter, what happened to the fantastic post that you had up this morning in answer to that person who questioned SA in regards to "water" ? Suddenly it vanished!! It was brilliant! Please re-post it...I think I was the only one who saw :-)

Peter Hyatt said...

It is up again. I fretted Elaine reading the mean spirited comments from the site, so I deleted some that were sent to me and did not reference where it can be found.

Some left comments that were clearly meant to ingratiate to the body language analyst, and were cruel.

As to being called a "hack", it is not the first time and it won't be the last.


Peter Hyatt said...

John wrote:

" john said...
What is it that's niggling me about E/R.? Can anyone throw some light on it.
I don't mean she is involved or responsible for whats happened.Iv'e just got an itch(metaphoricaly speaking)Something is out of place..

March 5, 2013 at 9:52 PM "

Even in a question, John, you remain polite and respectful.

See the new post. Also, feel free to post some of the statements that concern you.


MeagIn Manhattan said...

John & Peter ~ The only thing that stuck out to me last night on the show regarding anything "off" with Elaine, is the fact that she did not want to employ a Private Investigator...(which MR did!?) I am sure that Elaine does have her reasons to NOT want one, or this particular one, and she is allowed to have her reasons.
Other than that - her sorrow pierced my soul.
Her sadness was palpable.
She wants JUSTICE FOR DYLAN and she wants HOPE FOR DYLAN. She is so alone - and I think that is exactly what MR wanted - Elaine to be alone. To Suffer.

Praying for Dylan's recovery - and swift JUSTICE to follow.

Most Sincerely,

No Longer Anonymous said...

Elaine is, unfortunately, used to it (although she should never have to be!). Those abhorrent people have been pointing fingers (or worse) on many different sites. Their motive is to twist and spin information. I will never understand why, or what type of people cling to the blatantly guilty as those people do.
Bravo to you for the excellent post! Elaine is a pillar for her son and she has a world of support around her, including many of us virtually.

sidewalk super said...

This picture of Dylan at Walmart shows an unhappy kid, reluctant?, recalcitrant?, his coloring seems way too splotchy, and he's hiding his hands/fists?. Jaw is out, angry?

sidewalk super said...

And he's very hunched over, protective of his body?

Layla said...

This sounds terrible, but I think in certain cases like this one, waterboarding should be allowed to get information out of Mark.

I could hear the pain in Elaine's voice when she says she believes that Mark is getting away with this, that he feels people will buy his story that Dylan "just disappeared".
It is appalling that the courts forced Dylan to go visit Mark. Didn't he have an arrest for child abuse? That's not enough for the courts to say this kid does not have to fly there and be with him alone.
Mark has played the system. A system which plays right into the hands of these abusers far too often.
Where are Elaine's rights? Where are Dylan's rights? Drunken, abusive Dad has all the rights.
I wish they could waterboard Mark, so Elaine can at least find out what happened to Dylan and where he is, because it has to be worse torture not knowing.

Layla said...

I just can't imagine the agony that Elaine must be going through not knowing where he son is and what has happened to him.

Peter Hyatt said...

I wanted to ask Elaine why she did not, but I think as she spoke she gave us the answer: he appeared bonded with Mark.

This is my guess.

She also is looking carefully at people's motives for getting involved.

Sus said...


This the add for the PI who offered his services. Oh my! Real professional...

The way I understand it, this PI wants to break into the business and offered his services.

Jen said...

Hi Layla-

In my experience men like Mark will NOT stand up to men or women who they see as either physical or mental superiors. This was obvious on the Dr Phil show...when Dr Phil challenged Mark, got loud with him and said, 'How dare you..', Mark cowered saying 'I believe that was taken out of text'. Dr P didn't let up..'well, then put it in context', and Mark raised his voice a little...'I will put it in context', then trails off rambling on about how Elaine and Cory disrespected him (the point Dr P brought up was Mark's claim that the show wasn't focused on Dylan, yet MARK answers with a complaint about Elaine & Cory). Dr. P challenges, 'I didn't disrespect you', (actually he openly mocked Mark and his theory, told him there was something wrong with him IF he wasn't involved, and outright accused him, offering legal council to aid him in a confession/recovery of Dylan). Mark's response to being accused of murder by someone other than Elaine and Cory....he is disengaged, fingering his tie, nodding and submissive, 'your right Dr P, you didn't do anything wrong'.

Mark employed the same technique with the polygrapher who became 'fatigued' with his games and called him out, 'are you gonna take the test or not'. Marks answer, 'well, that's what I'm here to talk to you about'...eventually bailing twice. Mark tried to align himself with, and submitted to those he had no hope of conquering. When it came to Elaine and Cory he attempted the same method of control he has always used.

If Mark was simply confronted and harshly interrogated by someone who 'had his number'..refused to let up, mocked his ridiculous story, forced him to answer the questions he works so hard not to, by repeating and repeating-refusing to let Mark answer with diversion tactics (his back is already against the wall) he will likely crack. If he ever does expect him to blame Elaine...as in, she alienated me from my boys and I snapped.

Layla said...

Hi Jen--Absolutely--Mark appeared to become sheepish in response to Dr Phil not buying his BS and the same with the polygrapher. You have made a very good point which is that Mark would not be able to hold up under strict interrogation. Probably not even an hour of it. I wonder why they are not doing intense interrogation with him. It is the same thing I wondered with Justin DiPietro.
In any case, I hope Mark keeps talking bc I think he will spill something out in his words, so Elaine can get answers.
It makes it extra diabolical that Mark fought through the legal system for this visit with Dylan and then puts Dylan and Elaine through such horror. Something about him reminds me of the father from the Fritzl case in Austria--hypercontrolling. That girl in that case had run away from the evil father and was returned to him by police (I see parallels with this in this case). My prayers to Elaine.

Jen said...

I think LE is basically giving Mark the rope to hang himself with. Elaine said on the show last night that Mark really believes that he's not a suspect, and that Elaine and Cory are the only ones who think he's involved. Delusional right?

As long as Mark thinks he is pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, he will keep talking...giving self-serving interviews and getting his digs in at Elaine where he can. If LE accuses him, he will lawyer up, his public statements will end and he will refuse a police interrogation. The more he talks the more he reveals so it's smart for LE hold off and let him believe he's 'winning' until they recover Dylan, or until they believe they've gotten all they can from Mark's statements.

Until then Mark will keep re-telling his lies to anyone who will listen to fake cooperation in the search. Mark apparently doesn't realize how transparent his lies are and even when he's being directly accused (by Dr P, Elaine, Cory) he dodges the question and acts mystified by the accusation, saying things like, 'I'm not afraid of the truth, I'm not involved and no matter how it comes across, I'm not hiding anything' (paraphrased). Mark sticks to the script while telling his lies, but did you notice...he stutters and fumbles over direct questions and uses his diversion answers to change the focus. I really do think an experienced interrogator could wipe the floor with him, but I understand why LE would want to wait until they recover Dylan and Mark has literally NO alternate theory to cling to.

Peter Hyatt said...


I hope you are right.

I do wonder if you, me, and others, hold to past beliefs that the FBI, for example, really knows what they are doing, are masters of tactical psychology, and will spring the trap at the right moment...

like in the movies.

Or, is the new FBI like those who met with Joe Tacopina and shared evidence against Deborah Bradley, in hopes of getting a plea, only to have it backfire.

Is it the FBI who had 100,000 plus deviant images, including child porn, against Shawn Adkins, along with a host of evidence against Billie Dunn and Shawn Adkins, yet arrested no one?

Is it the law enforcement of...

Baby Ayla?

Baby Lisa?

Isabel Celis?

on and on it goes. You heard in Elaine;s voice, last night, that she struggles to have confidence in law enforcement.

I struggle with her. L/E has let us down on some fairly simply cases.


Jen said...

Hi Peter-

I agree- we have been let down so much by 'the system' in some of the most simple cases. The ones you named along with Caylee, OJ and JonBenet...just to name a few. It's so frustrating to know that those who could have held the perpetrators of these terrible crimes responsible...failed.

I understand why Elaine has lost faith, because the system has failed her. She followed the rules and obeyed a court order. Now she is the middle of her worst nitemare. I cried as I listened to her last night, and I'm crying again right now as I think of her saying how lonely and alone she feels without Dylan. I want to believe that LE is going to get this one right. They may not succeed based on their ability (LE), but more on Mark's weakness. Mark is a bully, hiding his own impotence with alcohol, abuse and control. He can't conjure respect from anyone, so he obtained compliance through abuse. He has no relationship with his older sons and had to force contact with his youngest, who lacked the right to choose due to his age. The evil of what MR has done by using his innocent son as tool of revenge cries out for justice. I pray that it is swiftly delivered, and Elaine can know some kind of closure and peace.

Layla said...

Jen--If ever someone seemed like if given enough rope they will hang themself, it would be Mark. That along with seeming like he is delusional, not even really believing he is a suspect, I think there is a chance he will slip up. You have some good observations about Mark's lying--it is persistent, but it is sloppy. His tactics are few: deflect, blame Elaine, along with some very ineffective attempts at diversion ie. oh look over here, Elaine forgot to pack Dylan a winter jacket, look at her, not at me! It seems like he is bound to slip up. I guess at this point all we can do is hope.

Lis said...

Dylan looks so tense in that photo, like he's steeled. :-(

Jamie said...

Afraid I have not been following this case, but just saw in the headlines today that they have found the "body" of the young boy. What a shame. He was 9 miles from his father's house. Looks like foul play for sure. I hope the police can find and convict the person or person's responsible.